by Niles, Naomi
My mother opened the door for me. I grabbed my clutch that matched my dress, then walked down the steps. Dylan was pacing at the bottom. My father leaned on the doorway to the living room a small smile on his face. When he looked up at me, his smile broadened.
I stopped hallway down, and Dylan finally looked my way. His lips were open and I knew he was surprised. His eyes widened as he said, “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, kitten. You do look beautiful.”
We took pictures out on the lawn. Dylan was a gentleman and held the door to the limousine that my father had rented for us. He held my hand the whole way to the venue.
“I can’t stop staring at you, Taylor. You look amazing. Awesome.”
“You look pretty handsome, too, Dylan. You clean up well.”
He laughed. “Your father had to help a little.”
Now I laughed. “At least he did. He could have protested.”
“Oh, he let me know that we were to come home after the dance and that if we were going somewhere tomorrow, we weren’t staying over.”
I rested my head against his shoulder. “I don’t need any of that. Just you.”
“That’s sweet, Taylor.”
I shrugged.
The ballroom was full of teenage couples. The tables were decorated with blue and white balloons, our school colors. I couldn’t believe the day had finally come. This was the last big event of our senior year.
After this, it was only a few weeks until graduation.
I held Dylan’s hand as we entered the room. I heard a squeal and was hugged fiercely by Helena. I looked her over. “You look pretty amazing.”
She smiled. “You look beautiful, too. I grabbed your place cards. You’re sitting with us.”
“Cool.”
She wore a dark blue dress that accented her eyes. Cole, her date, wore a matching cummerbund. Those two had met at one point during the drama of Dylan and I, and they’d hit it off. I told Cole that if he didn’t treat her properly, he would have me to answer to.
So far, he’d been a very good boyfriend to her.
“Do we get pictures first?” I said.
“Yeah. Cole and I got ours,” Helena said.
I turned to Dylan. “Let’s get this over with. I don’t know how good I’m going to look after I’m dancing.”
“Dancing?”
I laughed. “Yes. We’ll be dancing.”
“Did I agree to that?”
I laughed and swatted his arm. “It’s implied when you take someone to a prom.”
“Oh, okay. Didn’t know that.”
The smile on his face told me he was teasing me.
We did the pictures, and then there was a slow song. Dylan held me as if I were china. “Why didn’t you run for prom queen?” he asked me.
I shrugged. “Didn’t seem important with all that was going on with you.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Nope. I get to dance with only you all night instead of the prom king.”
“I like that idea.” He nuzzled my neck. “This is kind of nice. Kind of fun.”
“Better than you thought?”
“Much better, but I think that has to do with my date,” he said.
That filled me with such a warm feeling. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but I didn’t think I was ready to be that vulnerable. Yet. Maybe by the end of the night.
The prom queen was crowned and the fast music started. I dragged Dylan out on the dance floor.
“But they just served dessert,” he said.
“It’ll be there when you get back,” I said. “I want to see you dance.”
“I’m not very good.”
He actually was okay; he had more rhythm than a lot of guys on the dance floor. He had nothing to be embarrassed about. We didn’t sit down for three songs. Then I needed a drink.
The cake was gone. He looked like a puppy who had been kicked.
“I’ll bake you a chocolate cake tomorrow.”
Dylan’s face lit up. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay, then.”
And for one quick moment, I saw the teenage Dylan. Not the serious grownup one that had been around lately. Not that I minded, either.
“Last song of the night, girls and boys,” the disc jockey said.
I turned back to Dylan. “One more.”
He kissed my nose. “Of course.”
He held me close again, and I never wanted the night to end. His warm body was pressed against mine, his bow tie was in his pocket, and his sleeves were rolled up.
He was all mine. At least, for now.
When the song ended, he led me to the table. We gathered our things said goodnight to everyone. I really didn’t want to go back to reality. This had been wonderful.
I held onto Dylan’s arm, my high heels in my hand. “This was great. Thank you.”
He smiled down at me. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
I stopped him before we climbed into the limousine.
“Is something wrong?” he said.
“No. I just wanted to tell you that I love you.”
His smile lit up his face. “I love you, too.”
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PHYSICAL
By Erin Wes
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Erin Wes
CHAPTER ONE
KYLE
The headache was always the same. It would just hit me out of nowhere. Today I was sitting at my desk trying to finish up some paperwork before my sister showed up to take me to the doctor. She was insisting on going with me like I’m twelve. I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want her to go with me…until once again the crushing pain descended down on me. It pulsed like a slow heartbeat and each time the veins dilated and the blood rushed through, it brought with it a new wave of pain, each one worse than the last. I couldn’t sit still… I had to get up and pace from one end of the room to the other and back again. It was so intense that I honestly looked at the big glass window behind me and for just a second, I thought about shoving my head through it. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but nothing does when the pain is this bad.
As I paced up and down, my vision got blurry as my eyes began to burn and pour water out of them. I was at least grateful that I was at work when it happened and not out driving to a job. It hit me once on the I-635 on my way out to a jobsite. There was nowhere to stop until I got off the freeway and the whole time, I was clutching the wheel with one hand and wiping the water out of my eyes with the other. It was one of those situations where you just know: this is it, I’m fucking dying right here on the 635. I just knew that I was going to die. It had been just my luck that my sister was joining me on the jobsite that day. I work for her husband, Michael. He and I are both architects, and he owns his own business in Dallas. Sarah is a stay-at-home mom most of the time, but when we’re short-handed and one of us needs an assistant, she fills in. I was forty-five minutes late that day and she called and texted me four times before I got there. The last time, I finally answered, and when she asked me where I was…I literally had no clue. I’d gotten off the freeway and pulled onto some side street in a residential area and paced up and down the street. Luckily, no one called the cops. I told Sarah about the headache while I was still recovering and in a vulnerable state – that’s why I have the doctor’s appointment today.
When I’m smack dab in the middle of the pain, going to the doctor sounds like a fine idea. But once it’s gone and my thoughts clear, I change my mind. Sarah knows me too well. She grew up l
ooking after my stubborn Native American dad and me. She actually called the doctor and handed me the phone. Then, she stood there and listened. When she heard them try to give me an appointment for next week, she said, “He can’t wait that long!” So rather than deal with my sister, who can be quite pushy, they got me in this afternoon. Right now, this fucking pain is so bad that it can’t be soon enough.
“Hey, Kyle!” The sound of my brother-in-law Michael’s booming voice ripped through me like a knife to the skull.
“Shh! Too loud,” I whispered, holding my head in my hands.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You look like hell. Are you crying?”
“My head!”
“Okay…”
“It hurts.”
“Damn, man! Sit down. You’re pale as a ghost. You look like you’re gonna pass out.”
“Can’t…can’t sit still.”
“Fuck! I’m calling Sarah-”
“No!” I pushed it out through my gritted teeth. “Don’t call her. I have a – an – I’m going to the circus…fuck, I mean the doctor.”
“Yeah, you’re going to the circus alright – in an ambulance.” He pulled out his phone and I stared at him. I wanted to tell him no again, but I couldn’t remember about what. What is his name? Fuck! Why can’t I think?
“Yes, my name is Michael Penner. I need an ambulance sent to 546 Amon Carter Blvd. It’s the Penner/Styles building and we’re on the third floor…I’m not sure. He said his head hurts, but he’s white as a ghost and he’s saying crazy things…no, he’s not mentally ill. No! He doesn’t have a weapon. He’s not threatening anyone. Shit! He’s sick, isn’t that what ambulances are for? Okay…thank you.”
I could hear everything he was saying, but the words were like bouncing around inside my skull. They wouldn’t settle down long enough for me to grab hold and make sense of them. I kept moving though. Somehow, that made me feel better. My sister’s husband is back on the phone. Why the fuck can’t I remember his name? What the hell is wrong with me? “Sarah, something is really wrong with Kyle….Yes, it’s a headache again, but this one is different…He’s pacing all over the place…He won’t sit down…He’s not making sense, Sarah. I’m not putting him on the phone. I called an ambulance.”
I felt myself falling, but I forgot that I was supposed to put my hands out. The last thing I saw was the desk right before my already aching head slammed into it.
*******
My eyes felt heavy, like they were taped shut. I had this panicked feeling in my chest like I was going to be late for something and I needed to wake up. I pulled at them and I tried to lift my arms so I could rub the sleep out of them. My arms wouldn’t move, I felt like I was tied down. The panic in my chest got worse and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. An alarm was going off. I thought it was mine, until I heard Sarah’s voice.
“Nurse! His oxygen sats are falling again!” She’s yelling…my fucking head hurts. Why is she yelling? She’s calling for a nurse. Did I go to the doctor? “Nurse!”
“Calm down, Sarah, she’s coming.” My dad…Shit…if Dad’s here, it’s a lot worse than a doctor’s appointment. Fuck! Another sharp pain raced through my skull.
“He could suffocate by the time they drag their lazy asses in here!” That’s my sister – always looking out for me. I waited for the pain to pass and tried my eyes again. The screeching alarm had stopped, at least, and I felt like I got a good breath in. I felt the air hit my left eye as the lid fluttered up slightly…and then the right one. Everything was blurry, but they were open, kind of. I was looking out through watery slits. It was like I was underwater and staring up at everything. There were machines and tubes hanging up over my head. I tried to turn slightly, but that was a mistake. That brought back the pain and that fucking loud alarm again – and Sarah’s screeching.
“I’m right here, Mrs. Penner.” That one was unfamiliar. It must be the nurse Sarah keeps yelling about. The alarm stopped and the pain began to subside. I cracked my eyes open and to see the watery outline of a middle-aged woman’s face looking down at me. “Well, look at that, you’re awake. Can you hear me, Mr. Cloud?”
“Kyle!” Oh Jesus, Sarah stop yelling! I blinked my eyes, trying to clear them, and I felt someone wipe the edges of them with a towel or something. I was able to focus them slightly. Sarah’s face was there now on the other side. She looked like she’s been crying. There’s Dad now leaning in over her. Maybe I’m on my deathbed. “Kyle, can you hear us?”
I’d have to be deaf not to. I tried to say it out loud, but for some reason, the words came out all jumbled up. They were more like random sounds. Sarah looked at the nurse, and I heard the older woman say, “Don’t worry honey, he’s still medicated. This is normal after brain surgery.”
Brain surgery? What the fuck? I’m dreaming. That’s what this is. It’s a weird, bad dream. Sometimes when I finally fall asleep after the headaches, I have weird dreams. This has to be one of them. I tried to move my head again. If this was a dream, I should be able to do that… My head didn’t move, but a strange sound came out of my chest. “Kyle, honey are you in pain?” Sarah again. Yes…I’m in pain. Once again I tried to form the words, but even to my own ears, they sounded like some weird foreign language. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I can give him another dose of morphine, and then I’m going to let Dr. Grant know he’s waking up.”
Morphine? I must definitely be on my deathbed. They’re giving me the good shit. “Kyle, can you blink if you can hear me?” Sarah again. She just can’t let anything go. I closed my eyes. It felt so good that I almost went back to sleep and left it at that…but Sarah was waiting. I opened them again. That time it was a little easier. Sarah was still above me. I think she’s crying. Dad, too. I wonder if I should pray or something.
“There,” the nurse’s voice again. “I gave him his pain medicine. I’m going to call the doctor. Mrs. Penner, you can use the call bell if you need me.” I wished that I could remember how to laugh. Sarah must be driving her crazy. I love my sister, but she is a huge pain in the ass. I’m not sure how my brother-in-law stands her.
The heaviness of sleep began to tug at me, and I couldn’t even manage holding my eyes open in a slit any longer. I let them close, and I heard the hushed voices of my father and my sister as sleep pulled me under.
*******
When I finally really woke up, I found out that I’d been in and out of it for four days. Apparently, the day I passed out and Michael called the ambulance, they did an MRI when they got me to the ER. They found out why I’d been so tired lately, having the headaches, and being confused – I had a brain tumor. They took me straight to surgery and removed it. The doctor just came in to tell us it was benign. I guess I should be happy that it was at least not cancer, but I was currently in the midst of feeling sorry for myself.
I can talk, but it’s barely understandable. The words in my head come out of my mouth all jumbled up most of the time. I’ve never been so frustrated in my life. When trying to tell someone that you have to pee becomes an almost insurmountable task, you know you’re fucked. At one point when my sister and father had gone to get something to eat and my nurse wasn’t around, I tried to get up. I managed to get over the side rail and lower my feet to the ground, but the fact that I was tangled up in all the wires wasn’t why I found myself on the floor a few minutes later. My right leg wouldn’t move. I took a step with my left and expected the right to follow. When it didn’t, I went down on my face. I got a lecture from some terrified nurses – and then they got a lecture from my over-bearing sister. My dad did what he usually did in situations like that. He stared at me with those dark, worried eyes and let Sarah take charge. So now, I was relegated to being completely helpless and totally dependent on everyone around me. I hated it and every so often I wished that I had just died.
“Kyle?” I thought about not opening my eyes. I love my sister, but I wish she would just go away and take care of her family. “K
yle, Greg’s here.” My eyes flew open at that. What the fuck is he doing here? My eyes took several long minutes to focus, but I was getting used to that. When they did, I saw the face of the man who used to be my best friend. We were so close that he was like the brother I always wanted and never had. From the time we were little and riding our bikes in circles around the house, right up to the day I walked in and found him in bed with the only woman I had ever loved. At least it was before the tumor and my limbs were coordinated enough to beat the shit out of him. I guess my weakened state gave him a sense of security now.
CHAPTER TWO
AMBER
I got out of my car in front of the hospital and as I was gathering up my things a big gust of wind came up and blew my papers right out of my hands. “Shit!” I started running around like a maniac in the parking lot trying to grab them all before they blew away or someone came along and ran them over. I should have taken the time to put them all away in my bag before I left the clinic, but I’d been running late since I opened my eyes and saw that I’d over-slept by an hour this morning.
“Here you go.” I looked up at the sound of the deep voice. A blonde-haired man with really deep blue eyes was standing over me as I bent down and tried to fish one of the papers out from underneath a car. He was holding out a handful of the papers I’d lost.
“Thanks, that wind caught me off guard,” I said as I pushed to my feet and took them.
He smiled. His face was tan, and he was built like a long, lean surfer. There wasn’t much call for those in Dallas, but he was really cute – if you liked that type. “No problem. Here, I’ll get the one under the car for you.” He dropped down like he was going to do a push-up and held himself up with one arm as he reached under the white SUV. A second later, he was back on his feet and handing me the lost paper.
“Thank you, I’m such a mess.” The big, blond guy ran those blue eyes down my body. Although I was dressed for work in my black scrubs and white lab coat, he was looking at me as if I was dressed to go out to the club.