A Summer to Remember

by Jessica Gunhammer

  “And by dated you mean slept together?” I slowly slipped out of his arm, trying not to make it too noticeable, but suddenly I didn’t feel like being touched by him.

  “It was a long time ago.” He reached toward me to pull me back, but I stayed just out of reach.

  “Six months isn’t really that long ago.” My irritation and jealousy weren’t masked so well that time. Suddenly I felt like coming here wasn’t such a good idea. I started to feel anxious; this was way too much for me. I pulled my phone out of my purse and texted Lily the address to come pick me up. Who knew how many more “Sam’s” we might run into?

  “Listen, you can’t seriously think that I wasn’t with anyone before I met you. You were with Jason before you were with me. That doesn’t mean you’re going to run off to be with him. At least, I hope not.” It’s funny how he could say something like that but I didn’t hear a hint of insecurity in his voice.

  “Yeah, but he’s an idiot! Sam is gorgeous!” I crossed my arms over my chest and looked off in the direction she’d disappeared in.

  “No, you’re gorgeous.” He turned my head to look at him. “She’s just your average rich girl with a fake tan and too much makeup.” He leaned down to kiss me. I leaned in for it but then pulled away as I remembered something he’d said a few minutes earlier.

  “Wait, did you say Florida?”

  “What?” He looked at me, confused.

  “Did you say you didn’t know she was back from Florida?” I asked again.

  “Sam? Yeah. She goes to school…Oh, no, Ava… don’t even think like that.”

  “Don’t think that I should be a little worried that you’re taking a job where you’re hot ex-bed buddy is living?” This time I was able to control my emotions a little better, at least on the outside.

  “Ava. You have nothing to worry about. Come on, let’s go get a drink.” My phone vibrated. I had a text from Lily saying she would be there in five minutes.

  “Actually, Lily just texted me. She and Steven got into a huge fight. She’s really upset and says she needs to talk,” I lied. I needed to get out of here before I got all crazy and ruined everything. There was no reason for me to be flipping out right now, anyway. He hadn’t done anything wrong. I wouldn’t be this insecure all the time if it hadn’t been for Jason! Adrian wasn’t Jason! At least I hope not…I really couldn’t deal with this right now.

  “Okay, we can go. Where is she? I’ll drive you.” I stopped him as he led me toward the front door.

  “No, you stay here. Have fun with your friends. She’s already on her way, she’ll be here in a few minutes.” He turned to look at me.

  “Are you sure?” He seemed genuinely concerned.

  “Yes, I’ll be fine. She’ll probably want me to stay over, so I’ll see you in the morning.” I was trying to think of anything to get out of being with him tonight. I was so confused about what just happened that I needed to think things through.

  “At least let me walk you out.” I was about to protest but I was saved by a tall blond guy who came over and started talking aimlessly about who knows what. I’m guessing he was also an old football friend of Adrian’s. He said he wasn’t going anywhere until he could get Adrian a drink. He was my out.

  “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” My phone vibrated, Lily was waiting outside. “Lily’s here anyway.”

  “All right. I love you.” He gave me a quick peck on the lips and wandered off with the blond guy. I headed out the front door.

  “All I have to say is wow! Who lives in that house?” Lily asked as soon as I got in her car.

  “This guy named Shane. His dad’s the one who owns Boseman Auto Sales.” I set my purse on the floor and fastened my seatbelt.

  “That house is huge!” She took one last glance in her rearview mirror as she drove down the driveway. “I left Steven at the party, so is it okay if we swing by there and pick him up? We don’t have to hang out there if you don’t want to.” I was a little surprised Lily was so…sober. I guess since she and Steven had been fighting about her drinking so much lately, she’d decided to cut back. I was so thankful for that right now.

  “Yeah, that’s fine. And I don’t have a problem being there for a little while. I just had to get out of there.” I looked out the window and stared off into the darkness.

  “So, what’s going on? What happened back there?” Lily turned onto the main road. I sighed with relief, knowing Adrian and Sam were behind me.

  “I met one of his ex-girlfriends, and suddenly I wasn’t in the mood to be there anymore. Or anywhere around him, for that matter.”

  “Was she that hideous?” Lily looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

  “Actually, no. She was gorgeous.”

  “I’m sure she wasn’t as gorgeous as you are, and plus, she’s probably crazy or something.” I laughed a little. “Well, there’s gotta be some reason why they’re not together anymore.”

  “Well, it gets worse. She goes to school in Florida, the same place where Adrian is taking that job. That’s what set me off. So I just told him you and Steven got into a fight and I’d be staying with you tonight. I didn’t feel like it was right for me to be pissed off about it because he’s right, we’ve both dated other people. I’m just, I don’t know, having doubts, I guess. I really don’t want to get my heart broken again.” I thought back to the times Jason and I had broken up. No matter how many times it happened, it never got any easier. I was starting to feel like I was in over my head. Competing with girls like Sam? I didn’t know if I had it in me.

  “That’s understandable, but do you really think he’ll do that? He just doesn’t seem like that type.” Lily must really like Adrian, it seemed like every time I had something bad to say about him, she always had something good to say. She was never like that with Jason.

  “I don’t know.” I watched the streetlights pass by the window. “I really wish I knew.”

  We pulled up in front of a beige house. It was no mansion, but it was pretty decent. Lily and I got out of the car and walked up to the side of the house. She opened a gate to the backyard and we walked in.

  “Whose house is this?” I whispered as we went down the stepping-stones along the side of the house.

  “Chad’s parents.” I remembered Chad from high school, he played football with the guys. He was always a super nice guy and the girls all loved him, so it was hard to keep track of who he was dating. I noticed a few guys from our high school football team were here with their girlfriends, sitting around a stone fire pit. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. The backyard was pretty nice and looked like it would be great place to barbeque. It was well laid out and the plants and trees were manicured nicely. I was admiring the stonework and the landscaping when someone else caught my eye. Crap! It was Jason. He was sitting on a small rock wall near the side. When he looked up and saw me, a smile formed on his face.

  I looked around the fire pit for somewhere to sit. Just my luck, the only open seat was next to Jason. I hesitated for a minute, debating whether or not sitting next to him was such a good idea. This was ridiculous! I was being silly. It wasn’t like we were in second grade or something and he had cooties. He wouldn’t try and do anything stupid in front of all these people. Lily watched me carefully as I sat next to Jason.

  “Hey,” I said quietly. It wasn’t like anyone else would hear me. All the guys were drunk and trying to talk over each other.

  “Hey.” He gave me a slight smile. I could feel my stomach turn a little. A part of me really missed that smile.

  “How have you been?” I asked.

  “Not too bad. How about you?” I thought of Adrian and Sam.

  “I’ve been better. I could sure use one of those right about now.” I eyed the red cup in his hand.

  “Oh yeah? You want me to show you where to get one?”

  “Yes, please.” He got up and walked by me. Lily had her eyes glued on me. I tried to ignore them burning into me as I got up and followed him to a small
bar in the corner of the yard. He walked behind the bar and opened up a small mini fridge. He pulled out a bottle of Malibu and what looked like pineapple juice. He knew it was my favorite.

  “The usual?” he asked, holding out the two bottles.

  “Of course.” I wandered around to the back of the bar and watched him as he poured and mixed my drink. He handed it to me when he was finished. “Thank you.” I was a little relieved to see he didn’t seem so angry anymore. Funny thing was, I wasn’t feeling as angry about what had happened anymore, either. Everyone made mistakes, there was no sense in holding a grudge.

  “No problem.” This was the old Jason I remembered, when he was nice and went out of his way to do things for me. It reminded me of why I fell for him in the first place. He stayed close to me and stared into my eyes. I could feel him slowly moving closer. Part of me wanted to turn around and get the hell out of there, but there was another part of me that wanted to stay and see what would happen next, and that’s the part that won.

  “I just want you to know I will never find another girl like you.” He looked down at his cup then back up at me. “We had some really good times together.” He was right. We did. I couldn’t deny that some of my best memories were with him. “I’m not trying to win you back or anything, I really just want you to be happy. I want you to know that I do realize I screwed up, big time. It might have taken another guy walking into your life for me to realize it, but I do.” He moved in so close to me I could feel the heat of his body. “I will always love you, Ava.” I felt his lips softly press against mine, as if he was waiting to see what my reaction would be. I didn’t move, so he continued to kiss me. I couldn’t help but kiss him back. He’d never kissed me like that before, not even the first time. This time it was different, it was so passionate I could feel it through every inch of my body. My heart ached as I thought of how many times I’d wanted him to want me like this. It felt safe and familiar, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that it didn’t feel right. I pulled back suddenly.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t do this again.” I headed for the gate.

  “Ava! Wait!” At this point we had everyone’s attention. He caught up to me when I reached the side of the house. “Please, give me one more chance.” I stopped and looked at him. We just weren’t the same people anymore. I’d changed. I wanted different things in my life now that I realized I deserved better.

  “I can’t.” I pushed the gate open and he didn’t follow.

  “Ava!” I heard Lily call when I finally reached her car. “What the hell was that about?” I knew she was pissed at me.

  “Can we just go home?” I begged as tears trailed down my cheeks. “Please?” Lily looked at me, and her pissed off look turned to sympathy. She came around the car and gave me a hug as I broke down.

  Chapter 23

  The next morning I woke up before Lily. I went straight to her bathroom to take a shower. I had a long night last night and I wasn’t ready to face the reality of it all just yet. I wasn’t sure where today was going to take me, but I had a lot of thinking to do before I made any decisions.

  “How are you doing?” Lily asked as I walked out of the bathroom.

  “Okay.” I sat next to her on the bed.

  “He called again while you were in the shower.” I picked up my phone and saw I had seven missed calls from last night and one from this morning. All were from Adrian. A text message popped up on the screen.

  Please call me. I miss you.

  I set my phone back down on the nightstand. I bet I would have cried if I weren’t so worn out from all the crying I did last night.

  “Are you going to at least call him?” Lily asked.

  “I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with him yet.” I rubbed my hair with the towel. I was more confused then ever. First Sam and now the kiss with Jason, I had no idea what I was going to do.

  “Have you guys ever talked about who you’ve dated?” I shook my head.

  “Not really. He kinda knows about Jason, but that’s it.”

  “You’ve never been curious?” she asked, sounding surprised.

  “Well, I have been, but I just never brought it up.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know. I guess a part of me thought that if we didn’t talk about it, then I’d never have to accept the fact that he has dated other girls before me.” That sounded a lot better in my head than it did when I said it out loud.

  “Okay, I guess I get that, but you know that’s not true. You’ve both dated other people before dating each other. We live in a small town. You could have run into one of his ex-girlfriends anywhere. You should at least know what to expect or who to expect. Let’s face it, Facebook stalking your boyfriend’s exes is always fun.” I laughed. That was true. Lily had always been good at Facebook stalking people, and it always made for a good source of entertainment when we didn’t have anything better to do.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

  “It’s not like he intentionally kept this girl a secret from you. You never asked.”

  “True.” I picked up my phone and admired my screensaver, a picture of Adrian and me before our dinner at the Rooftop Terrace.

  “So what are you going to do about what happened with Jason?” Lily asked delicately. “Are you going to tell Adrian?” I felt my stomach churning.

  “I have to. If the situation were flipped, I’d want to know.” The thought of losing him sucked, but the thought of losing him and him possibly going back to Sam was unbearable.

  After my discussion with Lily, I decided now would be a good time to sit down with Adrian and talk about our past relationships. I texted him and he agreed. We decided to meet at a steakhouse for dinner. It seemed like a good neutral zone for such a touchy subject.

  I wasn’t stoked about the whole thing and I thought about backing out every five minutes, especially when I thought about the whole Jason fiasco, but I didn’t. When I walked in the front door, I saw Adrian sitting in a small booth across the room. I thought again about turning around and leaving, but he looked up and saw me standing near the hostess. A grin started to form on his face but stopped half way and he looked apologetic. I slid into the seat across from him.

  “Listen, Ava, I’m really sor—”

  “It’s okay.” I cut him off. “You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault she was there. I should have known we would eventually run into someone you had a past with.”

  “I should’ve told you about her, though.” I could tell he was actually feeling guilty about not mentioning her before.

  “I wish I would have known about her, but neither of us have brought up the subject of our exes. If I wanted to know, I should have asked.” I paused and took in a deep breath. “I have something I have to tell you.”

  “Okay.” I could tell he was suddenly nervous, and that made me even more nervous.

  “Last night after Lily came and picked me up, we went to a house party and Jason was there.” I took a second to get my bearings. “I made the mistake of having him show me where the drinks were and he kissed me.” Adrian stared at me with no expression. I couldn’t tell if he was mad or sad or what he was thinking. “As soon as I realized what was going on, I ran to Lily’s car and we left.” That wasn’t exactly how it went down, but I was feeling extremely guilty and the silence was killing me.

  “Did you feel anything?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean do you still have feelings for him?”

  “Of course not. That’s why I ran out. Jason is safe and familiar, but he’s not what I want in my life. I need something new and unfamiliar and not so safe. I need you.” That wasn’t what I was expecting to say at all, but it was right, it was what I felt.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” That surprised me. “You’re not mad?”

  “I’m kinda upset, of course. But I think that’s what you needed. I don’t think you had any closure when it came to Jason, and maybe th
at kiss is what you needed to realize what you really want in life.” I sighed with relief.

  We took a minute to order our food and drinks. As he was giving his order, I took the time to praise myself for not walking away. I really thought this relationship could be something special. I knew it wouldn’t happen over night, and this had taught me that we still had a lot to learn about each other. If he was willing to work for it, so was I.

  “So, I guess there’s no better time to have this talk than now,” I said after the waitress walked away.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait until we get home?” he asked, looking around at the people sitting next to us.

  “If we wait till we get home, then we’ll have all this tension over dinner and neither of us will be able to enjoy our meal. I’d rather just get it over with.” I wanted to make sure everything that was bugging me was done and over with after this dinner so I didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

  “Okay, well, where should we start?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. Who was your first serious girlfriend?”

  “I dated a girl in high school, her name was Kim. We dated for about six months before she broke up with me because she thought I was too involved in football and didn’t pay enough attention to her. Which was true. I was working my ass off to get into Brant. There were a few girls before and after her, but they only stuck around for a few weeks, maybe a month or two at the most.” The waitress came over and set our two sodas and straws down on the table.

  “Thank you,” I said to the waitress. “Do you still keep in touch with her?” I asked Adrian.

  “Not really. She moved to Los Angeles after we graduated and hasn’t been back since.” He opened up his straw and put it in his drink.