by Josie Brown
“You must have been shocked to see Phillip again here in Hilldale.”
Cassandra nods. “On the night of the show’s first episode, when he was introduced by his brother’s name, I believed he was who he claimed—until he reached for his water glass. You see, the one feature distinguishing Phillip from his identical twin brother was a battle scar on his right wrist. After the first episode, when I shook his hand goodbye, I pressed down on it. He knew I was hurt that he’d pretended not to know me, and also confused as to why he now went under his brother’s name. That night he sent me a text—the one you mentioned Sami had seen—asking to meet with him at his house the next morning while Ariel was out.”
“How did he explain the identity switch?”
“He told me a U.S. Army patrol found him unconscious in a pile of rubble and shipped him back to the States to recuperate. When he heard his brother had died searching for him in Iraq, he was too upset to go back to the Middle East. Now stateside, he began using his middle name—also his mother’s maiden name, Franklin—as a tribute to his brother. He told me he allowed himself to fall in love and marry Ariel because he assumed I’d lost hope for him and had moved on. Donna, I never knew he absconded with Franklin’s life, including his wife! When we were in Fallujah, he mentioned his brother only once—and not at all fondly. And trust me, he certainly never mentioned her!”
“What a guy,” I mutter.
Cassandra bows her head. “The heart believes what it wants to. I now realize that Phillip allowed our affair to pick up again because he was afraid I’d become suspicious of his story—or perhaps even jealous of Ariel and tell her all about us.”
And it could have derailed Phillip’s plan right then and there. He couldn’t let that happen.
Cassandra strokes one of the flowers gently. “I was angry about Phillip’s on-air recommendation that I have a boob job. When Gerald tried to goad me into it on television, I was livid. I knew why my husband was doing so: we needed the votes that could bring us the money. We’d finally get out of debt.” She sighs. “Phillip texted me later that night to tell me he could never see me again if I couldn’t understand how important his charity work was, and what the foundation meant to him. I finally said yes to the operation because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing him again.” A tear hovers on her cheek. “Little did I know that I’d agreed to a death sentence at the hand of the one person I thought would always love me; whom would never harm me.”
“He was no longer your Phillip. He’d become…a monster.”
She looks down at her bandaged chest. “Despite what he did to me, I now choose to remember him as he was.”
More proof that redemption is inevitably stronger than hate.
“One last question: what is the real reason you and Gerald took the children out of Dubai?”
“Adam took Phillip’s loss very hard. He became sullen and defiant. It was like losing his biological father all over again. One of the ways he lashed out was to get an Al Qaeda tattoo. One of his teachers in Dubai saw it. Adam was thrown out of school and threatened with prison for being an insurgent. To top it off, Gerald was asked to leave his teaching position at the university. The Arab Emirates take any threat of terrorism very seriously. Recently, Gerald divulged to me that he took out a loan in order to bribe the authorities to keep Adam out of prison. We’ll be paying off that debt for some time to come.”
Well, that explains the Middle-Eastern loan shark in Gerald’s office.
“By the way, we’re moving from Hilldale,” Cassandra says. “It’s too cruel and too petty—too removed from the real world! Let me put it this way: it’s just not our kind of town.”
I nod. “In other words, it’s too normal.”
Cassandra laughs as hard as me.
A moment later, her smile fades. “Isn’t it ironic? Even when Adam was in the Housewives’ mansion with Phillip, he never recognized him as the man he once so revered.”
“Phillip wasn’t that man anymore,” I counter.
“I guess you’re right.” She pauses. “I wonder how Sami would feel to learn that the terrorist he chased down was also the man who saved his life?”
“Do you plan to tell him?”
She shakes her head. “Like you just said, Phillip wasn’t that man anymore.”
When I hold out my hand to bid her goodbye, she pulls me in for a kiss on the cheek as well.
Last and certainly least, I go to Penelope’s room. When I enter, I see she already has company: Brin, Addison, and a few men in well-cut black suits.
When Penelope realizes it’s not a nurse but me, she scowls. “Oh, no! Not you again! Nurse! Guards—”
I hold out the flowers. “Penelope, calm down. I’m here to drop off this.”
She looks suspiciously at my offering. “There’s not a bomb in there, right?”
Brin and the Men in Black chuckle nervously.
Not Addison. He knows me too well.
“Okay. Thanks. Now leave. My talent agent and these network people need me to sign off on my new spin-off.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, really? What’s the title?”
Penelope shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m sure they’ll think of something. The great news is that Peter has consented to play along. Finally, he’s doing what I want for us!”
I think Peter is doing exactly what he wants for himself. Penelope will find this out soon enough.
I’m halfway out the door when I hear the footsteps I’ve come to dread: Brin’s.
“Hey, wait up, Delicious Donna! I’ve got a question for you.”
I sigh, but I turn to face her anyway. “Brin, the answer to any question you want to ask me is ‘no.’”
“Even if two million dollars is attached to it?”
“Again: NO.”
“But what you and Jack do—I mean, really do—is ratings gold!”
I wonder how much Addison has told her. “What is it, exactly, that you think we do?”
She can’t seem to find the words. Finally, she exclaims, “You love each other, unconditionally. That’s really all television viewers want to see: a happily ever after.”
For once, Brin is right.
“By the way, on the last night, who had the biggest vote count?” I ask.
“Oh…didn’t Jack tell you? The Craigs—by a landslide!”
Boo-yah!
“The check is being couriered over as we speak,” she promises.
Well then, I’d better get home, pronto.
I come home to an empty house. But when I glance out the kitchen window, I see a familiar dip in the hammock: my husband is doing his favorite thing: relishing a day off to enjoy the warm breeze on a sunny September afternoon.
Like me, he loves to be normal.
He stops crooning Night and Day when I come into view and he scoots over so that I can climb in beside him.
“How are the Housewives?” Jack asks.
“Still a bit dazed. For at least three of them, the thought of being a human bomb has put many things in perspective.”
“Let me guess: Penelope is still oblivious about how close she was to dying.”
“Go to the head of the class.” I shake my head in awe.
“By the way,” Jack says casually, “I have some exciting news.”
Ah, here it comes. “Yes?”
“Guess who won the vote count for most popular family on Hot Housewives of Hilldale?”
I pretend to ponder the question seriously, but he knows my tell all too well: my deranged clown grin.
We are now laughing deliriously.
Pulling the certified check from his pocket, he sputters, “Was Ryan serious that we can’t keep this?”
“He’d bust a gut if he even knew we had it.” I snap my fingers. “The least Acme should do is donate it to the Farnhams. Sami’s tips were valuable, and I know the family could use it.”
“I guess you’re right,” Jack admits grudgingly. “If we were any other normal family…”
We are Donna and Jack Craig.
And you better not cross us.
—The End—
The Research for this Book
Next Up!
The Housewife Assassin’s
Greatest Hits
(Book 15)
*Coming November 2017*
As housewife assassin Donna Stone Craig’s life hangs in the balance, a deadly bet with the Grim Reaper brings forth a cavalcade of ghosts from her past: those whom she loved and lost, and those whose lives she took. Their sometimes chilling but always insightful points-of-view on Donna's life leave her with a few regrets, and at the same time grant her the redemption she needs to keep living. But first she must beat the Reaper at his own game.
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NOVELS IN THE
HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES
The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook
(Book 1)
Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one … and it happens to be government-sanctioned. But Donna earned it the hard way. Her husband was killed the day she delivered their third child. To avenge her husband's murder, Donna leads a secret life: as an assassin. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows, and brings new meaning to that old adage, "Honey, I'm home..."
The Housewife Assassin’s
Guide to Gracious Killing
(Book 2)
A nuclear arms summit, hosted by a politically connected billionaire industrialist, provides the perfect opportunity for a rogue operative to assassinate the newly elected Russian president, on American soil. Donna Stone’s mission: seek and exterminate the shooter before all hell–and World War III–breaks out. Also on Donna’s to-do list: file for divorce. Throw in a couple of killer play dates and a few naughty neighbors, and you’ve got a whole lot of fun.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Killer Christmas Tips
(Book 3)
’Tis the season for murder, mayhem and mistletoe! There will be no peace on Earth if Donna and Jack don’t find a shipping container filled with heat-seeking missiles. Forget Santa! Terror is coming to town…
The Housewife Assassin’s
Relationship Survival Guide
(Book 4)
In the fourth full-length novel #4 of Josie Brown's Housewife Assassin series, contract assassin Donna Stone's idea of a perfect relationship? A man she can trust in any situation. Yes, breaking up is hard to do. Then again, so is breaking out of a Mexican prison, and stopping a massacre by an international terrorist cell. So, how do you mend a broken heart? Donna finds out–the hard way. And FYI: falling in love with a married man isn't heart smart. Then again, neither is dating a terrorist. But when an old love gets in the way of Donna's chance for true love, she doesn't cry. She gets even.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Vacation to Die For
(Book 5)
A nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison-dart throwing pygmies...
Talk about a fantasy (nightmare?) island!
An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy Island, home of three very different resorts:
Like Kamp KidStuff, where families frolic among dolphins, cartoon characters–and warring gangs of' tweens who believe in the law of the jungle, including human sacrifices;
And Eden Key, a nude singles sanctuary where tiki-hut treehouses provide the perfect setting for rum-fueled romances and casual hook-ups–not to mention the occasional swinger slashing…
Finally, there's the Hunt Club, which allows its members to track a very unique, soon-to-be extinct prey.
And you call this a vacation?
The Housewife Assassin's
Recipes for Disaster
(Book 6)
Donna’s executive mission is crystal clear: stop the assassinations of both US political parties’ presidential candidates.
When she discovers she has a long-term vendetta with one of the targets, can she put her animosity aside long enough to save the candidate’s life–and her relationship with Jack?
The Housewife Assassin's
Hollywood Scream Play
(Book 7)
With foes in high places, what's a girl to do to put food on the table–let alone stay alive? If you're housewife assassin Donna Stone, you accept a Hollywood producer's offer to turn your life into a film.
Lights, cameras and non-stop action await Donna and Jack as they use the movie's exotic location shoots to track down crucial intel needed to take down the Quorum. There will be plenty of close-ups and too many close calls. But nothing–including a lascivious leading lady, deadly stunt doubles, or an encrypted script–will stand in their way.
The Housewife Assassin's
Deadly Dossier
(The Series Prequel)
Finally–Donna Stone, as you've never seen her before: through the eyes of those who affected her life the most.
In this full-length prequel to the Housewife Assassin series, Acme Industries black-ops agent Jack Craig is tasked with investigating the mysterious death of his organization’s most prolific hit man, Carl Stone, only to fall in love with the dead man’s wife, Donna–a woman he must never contact, but who may hold the key to her husband's disappearance.
When Acme approaches Donna to join their organization as an assassin, Jack’s undercover mission will change both their lives forever.
The Housewife Assassin's
Killer App
(Book 8)
In order to flush out an internationally renowned hacker who is wreaking havoc with the United States’ Intelligence Community’s secured database, housewife assassin Donna Stone infiltrates three very successful high tech corporations:
–A company providing smart phones and other wireless devices with an operating system that contains artificial intelligence designed to meet your every need–even if it kills you;
–A tech conglomerate CEO who plans to broker the country’s intelligence secrets to the highest bidder, be it a terrorist or enemy state;
–And an interactive game start-up with an avatar on the deadliest mission of all: kill Donna.
Can she save the world from terror–and at the same time protect her children from the painful knowledge of the father who deserted them?
The Housewife Assassin’s
Hostage Hosting Tips
(Book 9)
It's up to Donna Stone to save a hotel filled with international dignitaries from the terrorists whose usual demands are million-dollar ransoms. But this time, the price is much higher, and much more personal for everyone’s favorite housewife assassin.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Garden of Deadly Delights
(Book 10)
Housewife assassin Donna Stone’s green thumb–and for that matter, her trigger finger–is put to the test when it is discovered that genetically enhanced corn containing a deadly brain-eating virus has been released into America’s food chain.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Tips for Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare
(Book 11)
It's time for Donna Stone and Jack Craig to tie the knot–hopefully not around each other's necks as they juggle the planning of their wedding with tracking a terrorist in the White House.
It won't be easy exchanging rings while at the same time exchanging gunfire as they stop the Quorum's quest for world domination. But if anyone can, it's the housewife assassin and the spy who loves her.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Husband Hun
ting Hints
(Book 12)
There is only one way for housewife assassin Donna Stone to save her husband and mission leader, Jack Craig, from torture and termination: become a traitor and act as a double agent for the terrorist organization known as the Quorum. Her shocking decision comes with consequences that will forever change the lives of those nearest and dearest to her.
The Housewife Assassin’s
Ghost Protocol
(Book 13)
Housewife assassin Donna Stone' mission: investigate the resurrection of known terrorists who were thought to be dead and buried.
But when vital intelligence leads them to a group of domestic-based terrorists who are planning major attacks throughout the United States, a political enemy of POTUS provides evidence that Acme is involved and President Chiffray has no other option than to initiate ghost protocol, dissolving the black ops organization. To save their lives and their country, Donna and Jack must go under deep cover to seek out the true spooks betraying America.