‘Pleased?’
‘Of course.’ And she was. It was crazy to think that what she really would have preferred was a hug. Or a kiss. Something intimate.
But Nathaniel made sure there was no opportunity for intimacy as he wheeled in a team of hairdressers, make-up artists and a top stylist.
By the middle of the afternoon, Katie had been primped and pampered and was feeling more and more nervous about the evening ahead. Why had she and Claire ever thought it would be fun going to the Sapphires? She was going to walk down that famous red carpet with some of the most beautiful women in the world on the arm of the sexiest man in the world. It didn’t take a genius to predict what everyone would be thinking. Why her? It would be like letting a mongrel loose in a dog show, she thought gloomily. There was no way she’d ever win Best of Breed.
When she finally stepped into the dress, the stylist stood back and stared.
‘You look totally awesome.’
Unconvinced, Katie turned to look in the mirror. And saw a stranger. They’d swept her hair up and the skilled use of make-up made her skin look flawless and her eyes huge.
‘The dress is stunning.’ The stylist sighed. ‘Who is the designer?’
‘Me.’ Katie stared at her reflection, trying to see herself through the layers of sophistication. ‘I’m the designer.’
‘Wow. Well, by the end of the evening everyone will know who you are, that’s for sure. I bet you’re nervous. Every woman in the world is going to be watching that ceremony tonight and hating you for being with Nathaniel. Not to mention that several of the actresses attending tonight would have given just about anything to be in your position. He’s a superstar.’
Nathaniel Wolfe, superstar.
Suddenly Katie wished they were back in Rio, helping the kids with their drama class. There, Nathaniel had been himself. She’d started to get to know him, although there were huge parts of himself he still kept hidden.
Like why he wanted to win a Sapphire so badly.
She had a feeling it was more than personal pride.
Great actors went through their whole careers without winning, didn’t they? Of course it would be a wonderful accolade, but was it really a matter of life or death?
She wondered if he’d talk about it on the way to the ceremony, but from the moment he strode into the room, she knew there was no hope of that.
There was no sign of the real Nathaniel. This was Alpha Man in person, impeccably dressed in a black tuxedo with a black satin bow tie at his throat. He exuded the raw, masculine glamour of the Hollywood leading man and Katie felt the gulf between them widen. It was like waking up from a wonderful dream and not being able to hold on to the images. She could feel him slipping away from her.
‘Nathaniel …’ Desperate to break through those barriers, she tried to talk to him but he was distant and unapproachable. She was no closer to him than those audiences watching him up on the big screen.
His fingers were cool as he fastened the diamonds around her neck. ‘You look beautiful.’ It was as if he was analysing her quality as another accessory to be fed into the whole Sapphire machinery.
‘Nathaniel—’
‘This evening must feel daunting.’ Stepping back, he scanned her with those sexy, slanting eyes. ‘You have no reason to be nervous. You will outshine everyone.’
‘I love the necklace and I love the dress.’ She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t how she looked that worried her, it was how she felt. How he felt. The Nathaniel she’d fallen in love with had somehow slipped away when they’d landed in Los Angeles. ‘You must be feeling really nervous. I know tonight means a lot to you.’
‘It’s work. The Academy Awards are an important night in the calendar.’ He was all movie star. Remote. Untouchable.
Katie caught his arm in a tight grip, trying to reach the man.
‘Please tell me what’s wrong. Is it just because you want to win so badly?’
‘Of course I want to win.’ His eyes burned brilliant blue. ‘Winner takes all.’
Katie let her hand drop, wondering why she didn’t believe him. ‘So it’s just your competitive nature.’
‘We don’t have time for a full-on Katie analysis session.’ He held out his arm. ‘The limo is waiting, as are the photographers. You might want to practise your smile.’
Katie hesitated and then took his arm and walked with him to the door. She’d been naïve, hadn’t she? She’d congratulated herself on breaking down those barriers. She’d thought the man she’d spent the past two weeks with, the real Nathaniel Wolfe, was here to stay. She’d truly believed she had exclusive access, which showed how stupid she was.
It didn’t matter what they’d shared. It didn’t matter what had happened before.
Nathaniel Wolfe was gone.
It was a slow drive. The streets were closed off and people herded together and crushed against barriers, hoping to catch a glimpse of the stars. And then Katie found herself standing on the legendary red carpet, blinking in the blaze of the Californian sunshine. She touched the diamonds at her throat, listened to the screams and felt like a total impostor. It was controlled chaos, the sheer volume of people daunting, and she hoped that she didn’t lose Nathaniel. She’d never find him again in this crowd.
A woman approached them, smiling and obsequious. ‘Mr Wolfe, I’ll walk you through. The cameras are waiting.’
Of course the cameras were waiting. The cameras were always waiting for Nathaniel Wolfe.
They headed along the red carpet and Katie spotted a sea of famous faces, but none as famous as Nathaniel, who engendered something close to hysteria in the watching crowds. They held banners and huge, blown-up photographs and yelled his name.
Calm and relaxed, he smiled and strolled as if he were walking on the beach, occasionally stopping to chat to someone or shake a hand. He was the megastar, the man everyone wanted to be or be with. Pushed into the reality of his world, Katie realised how hopeless it was. How had she ever thought, even for a moment, that this could work? Yes, she’d spent time with the real man, but he was also a movie star and that was never going to change.
There would always be cameras and screaming women. Beautiful women. Drowning in a wash of despair, she walked through the metal detectors, trying not to tread on the glamorous dresses and embarrass herself.
And then she was being urged forward towards the banks of photographers and press desperate to interview the stars.
Katie wanted to shrink into the background but shrinking meant losing Nathaniel and his was the only face she knew so she stood and distracted herself by examining all the dresses and mentally altering the cut, the colour or the fit.
If her career as a costume designer hit the rocks, maybe she could become a stylist, she mused. She was good at dressing other people.
After endless photographs a voice announced that the awards ceremony would be starting in five minutes and Nathaniel guided her into their seats at the front of the auditorium.
Front row, she thought dizzily. She was in the front row.
As the Awards progressed, she felt Nathaniel’s tension increase. The suspense was agonising and Katie sat there, heart pounding, unable to enjoy the evening because she was so desperate to get to the part that mattered for Nathaniel. She wanted him to win because she knew how badly he wanted it.
Even when she saw the words Best Performance
by an Actor in a Starring Role flash onto the giant screen, it still wasn’t over. Five beautiful actresses stood onstage to talk about each of the nominees and Katie held her breath thinking that if they didn’t get on with it soon she was going to leap onstage and rip open the envelope herself. She ground her teeth as the women waxed lyrical about the other nominees, but when it came to Nathaniel’s turn for acclaim, she found herself listening intently. As the beautiful actress, his co-star, started praising his raw talent, his intuition and his skill on both sides of the camera, Katie realised with a flash of guilt that she always tried to ign
ore that side of him. She tried to forget that he was a great actor because thinking of him like that simply intimidated her. But he was world-class. And clearly he had the respect of his peers.
Knowing that the cameras would be focused on him, Katie kept a fixed smile on her face, while the same thought revolved in her head, Please let him win, please let him win.
Finally the talking stopped.
The glamorous woman who had won Best Actress the previous year walked onto the stage.
Tense as a bow, Katie listened as the names of the nominees were read out again and then the actress finally opened the envelope. Her mouth curved into a smile as she looked up at the audience.
‘And the Sapphire goes to Nathaniel Wolfe for Alpha Man.’
The applause exploded across the auditorium like a clap of thunder. Katie felt her vision blur and she turned to congratulate him, expecting to see him smiling. Instead he sat still, staring straight ahead.
‘Nathaniel?’ she choked out his name. ‘You won. You did it.’ She gave him a little push and he turned to look at her, his eyes blank. ‘Congratulations. They’re waiting for you onstage. You have to go and get it!’
As he rose slowly to his feet, so did the audience. One by one, they stood, saluting him in an unprecedented show of support. There wasn’t a person in the room who, by now, didn’t know the sad story of his childhood. There wasn’t a woman in the room who wasn’t thinking about his mother as Nathaniel walked slowly towards the stage. The noise was deafening and there was no doubt in anyone’s mind that it was a popular choice. Nathaniel could barely make it down the aisle for people hugging him, kissing him and shaking his hand. And Katie watched, pride lodged in her throat, tears stinging her eyes.
Eventually he extracted himself from the clinging hands and walked onto the stage to receive his Sapphire from Hollywood’s hottest female star.
The applause was tumultuous, and in the midst of her happiness Katie felt a wash of despair.
For a while he’d been hers. Not Nathaniel Wolfe, Sapphire winner, but Nathaniel Wolfe the man. For a while they’d laughed, swum in the sea and made love. He’d shared his thoughts with her. He’d told her about his family. She knew that underneath those famous blue eyes was a caring, strong decent man who guarded his emotions.
But now …
Watching him lift the icicle shaped Sapphire trophy high in the air as a gesture of triumph, she felt her eyes sting.
He’d been a little boy trying to escape from the nightmare of the real world. And that little boy had fought his way to the top in the toughest business of all.
The achievement was outstanding.
When the applause died and the audience finally seated themselves, Nathaniel gave his trademark sexy smile, back in control. ‘This is the part where I’m supposed to cry, isn’t it?’
Laughter rippled across the auditorium and Nathaniel spread his hands in mocking apology. ‘Sorry to disappoint,’ he drawled, ‘but I’ve always had a problem with the crying part. Unless I’m being paid, of course. Thank you for this amazing honour ….’ He spoke fluently and with grace, thanking his co-star and all the people involved in the making of the film.
Then he paused and looked at the glittering trophy in his hand. Silence fell, as if everyone sensed that the obligatory thanks were over and that he was about to say something meaningful.
‘I dedicate this Sapphire to my mother, Carrie.’ His voice didn’t waver and he spoke directly into the camera that was circling the front of the stage. ‘Carrie, you are a beautiful, special woman and you always told me that one day your son Nathaniel was going to win a Sapphire. Well, you were right. I won. This is mine.’ He held it high, a strange smile playing around his mouth. ‘Maybe when you look at this on your mantelpiece, you’ll think of me.’
Katie heard a quiet sob come from a woman in the row behind her. A man cleared his throat.
To the rest of the world it sounded like a simple dedication, but Katie understood the true message behind those words. Finally she understood what Nathaniel was trying to do.
He was hoping that seeing him holding the Sapphire would trigger something in his mother’s brain. He was hoping it was going to be enough to make her remember that he was her son.
Tears poured down her cheeks and she brushed them away quickly, realising that the cameras might be on her.
Nathaniel left the stage to even louder applause and Katie gave him a wobbly smile as he sat down next to her, expecting to see pride in his eyes. Instead his face had a greyish tinge and those famous blue eyes were empty.
‘That was beautiful.’ She covered his hand with hers. ‘Will she be watching?’
‘Yes. It’s ridiculously late in England but she insists on watching the Sapphire ceremony every year. She even dresses up for it.’
A confused, lonely woman getting ready to watch the world-famous ceremony on a television.
Katie blinked rapidly. ‘Well, you’ve made her night.’
He didn’t respond and suddenly she wished they could just go home right now so that she could try and get him to talk to her. Instead they sat through the rest of the ceremony and then moved on to the Sapphire Ball.
Sparkling chandeliers sent a cascade of light over the decorated tables, the room a mixture of contemporary elegance and glamour. Nathaniel was immediately surrounded by people wanting to soak up his success and Katie found herself pushed back to the fringe of the group.
Wondering how anyone could feel invisible and conspicuous at the same time, she hovered. The falseness of the situation made her uncomfortable and she realised that this was why Nathaniel chose to hide himself. You couldn’t be real here, could you? These people didn’t want real—they wanted the dream.
She was wondering whether to pay an extended visit to the bathroom, when a man with a friendly smile approached.
‘You must be Katie.’ He extended his hand. ‘Howard Kennington.’
Still worrying about Nathaniel, it took Katie a moment to register that she was in the presence of movie royalty. ‘Oh …’ She felt tense and awkward. ‘Nathaniel said that he’d sent you my drawings, but—’
‘They’re awesome. As is that dress you’re wearing. Even Alicia is impressed and she’s one hard nut to crack.’ He drew her to one side and questioned her about her ideas and soon Katie was deep in conversation, talking non-stop as she spilled out a lifetime of dreams.
‘Sorry.’ Eventually she ground to a halt. ‘I’ve gone on and on—’
‘It’s been most illuminating. You don’t hide much, do you?’
‘Nothing.’ Katie turned scarlet. ‘But I’m trying to change.’
‘Don’t. It makes you unique and it’s hard to find anything unique in Tinseltown. You have real talent. As does Nathaniel.’
The famous producer smiled and they talked for another twenty minutes and when he gave her his card and invited her to meet both him and Alicia the following week, Katie felt her spirits soar. Howard
Kennington liked her work. It was more than a dream. It was a fantasy. Never in a million years had she ever thought she’d have this sort of luck. It was all she could do not to squeal with joy.
If she could prove herself, she could be working as a costume designer on movies.
Virtually dancing across the floor, she went in search of Nathaniel, wanting to thank him and share her excitement.
She found him alone in a room used for press interviews.
He was sprawled on the red sofa, eyes closed. His bow tie dangled loose around his neck and his jacket was slung carelessly over the arm of a nearby chair. The coveted Sapphire lay at his feet on the floor.
‘You look completely wrecked.’ Deciding that this wasn’t the time to tell him her good news, Katie walked over to him. ‘Do you want to go home?’
‘Are you kidding? The party is just getting started.’ His eyes opened and she saw instantly that he was well on his way to being drunk. ‘I won a Sapphire.’
‘I know—’
‘Nathaniel—’
‘Don’t look at me with those big, sympathetic eyes. Life sucks, angel.’ His eyes shone hard and cynical. ‘You should know that by now. But you’re still hoping, aren’t you? You’re still dreamy enough to be looking out for that happy ending.’
‘I think sometimes you have to work on the happy ending.’ She eyed the bottle of champagne that lay empty on the floor next to him.
Ever since his plane had touched down in LA, he’d been under the most enormous pressure. And then the emotional turmoil of winning the Sapphire …
‘Your speech was—’ she took a deep breath ‘—it was beautiful, Nathaniel. And I know how tough this whole thing must be for you.’ Katie sat down next to him. ‘Do you want to talk?’
‘No. Absolutely not.’ His eyes glittering like jewels, he slid his hand behind her head and pulled her mouth down to his. ‘There are lots of things I want to do tonight, but talking is definitely not one of them.’
Katie tried to ignore the flash of sexual excitement. No, she thought desperately. Physically he was pulling her close, but emotionally he was pushing her away.
‘Nathaniel—’ she dragged her mouth from his ‘—you can’t just run from this.’
‘Do I look as though I’m running?’ With a smooth, practised movement he shifted her under him and gave her a wicked smile. ‘I’m lying. With you.’
‘Yes, you’re lying.’ Desperate, she pushed at his chest, trying to ignore the way his body felt against hers. ‘You’re lying to yourself. You can’t just pretend nothing is happening ….’
‘Nothing is happening—’ he trailed his lips down her neck ‘—but it will in a minute. I’d better lock the door—I think this calls for a closed set….’
‘No—’ The chemistry threatened to suck her down. ‘No! This is crazy.’
‘Sex with you is always crazy.’ His mouth was warm and skilled and Katie turned her head away, trying desperately to ignore the pulsing excitement building inside her.
Bad Blood Collection Page 15