‘Sounds like Lucas.’
‘I bumped into him at Annabelle’s Christmas party a few years ago. The one thing Lucas is good at is partying.’
‘But none of you came back here?’
‘Call me fussy,’ Nathaniel drawled, ‘but this place is lacking in party atmosphere.’
‘It’s full of memories.’
‘Most of them bad ones.’
‘Some. Perhaps it’s time to make new ones. Remodel the place. Let in some light.’
‘From what I’ve heard, you’re the man to do that.’
Nathaniel slid his hands into his pockets. ‘I looked you up once. And Rafael mentioned that you’ve built a successful design business. You’ve done well.’
‘And you. I haven’t congratulated you on your Sapphire. I saw the film. You were incredible.’
For a moment Nathaniel thought about confessing how empty it all felt, how meaningless, but his tongue wouldn’t form the words. What had Katie said? Playing someone else is so easy for you, Nathaniel—it’s being yourself that you find impossible.
‘Have you been inside the house?’
‘Yes.’ Jacob glanced at him. ‘Do you want to take a look?’
They walked, and Nathaniel was surprised by how easy it was to be with his brother. Easier than being in the house.
Pushing open that heavy oak door, he shivered. So many ghosts, he thought. So many secrets.
‘He’s gone.’ Jacob’s voice was flat. ‘William is gone. I was wrong to let the family drift apart, but I’m going to do something about that. Things are going to change, Nathaniel.’
‘Maybe it’s time for change.’
They paused at the foot of the grand staircase, now less than grand, each reliving private memories.
‘You used to slide down this banister.’ Jacob’s mouth twitched as he ran his fingers over the cracked, neglected wood. ‘It drove William nuts.’
‘That’s why I did it. Why did you leave when you did?’
‘Guilt.’
‘You saved Annabelle. Without you …’ Nathaniel breathed deeply. ‘Do you know how many times I blamed myself for not saving her?’
‘You were nine years old. What could you have possibly done to protect her against a man like William?’
‘Nothing.’ Saying the word released something inside him. ‘You stopped it. You were a hero.’
‘Hero?’ Jacob’s mouth twisted. ‘I don’t think so. Annabelle was scarred for life. I should have prevented it happening in the first place.’
Nathaniel thought about William. ‘He was unstoppable. You did what you had to do.’
‘And I’ve lived with that every day of my life. The first time William hit me, I was six years old.’ Jacob stared at a faded painting on the wall. ‘He was drinking. I found him with a bottle of whisky in his hand. I didn’t know what whisky was. I just knew it was a drink that made him angry, so I grabbed it out of his hand and poured it away. I thought that was it. I thought after that everything would be fine. I kept telling myself that. When you’re a child you believe what you want to believe. And after he died—’ The words hung in the air, the rest of the sentence unsaid. ‘You say you blamed yourself for that night—there’s nothing you can teach me about blame.’
Nathaniel realised just how much his brother was carrying. ‘We weren’t your responsibility.’
‘Yes, you were. And I let you down. If I hadn’t left, all of you might not be scattered around the world.’
‘If you hadn’t left, we might not be so successful,’ Nathaniel drawled. ‘Did you know Alex was the youngest driver to win the British Grand Prix at Silverstone?’
‘I watched it on television while staying in one of Sebastian’s hotels—the Singapore Grande Wolfe, I think.’ Jacob stooped to pick up a broken photo frame that lay abandoned and forgotten on the dirty floor. He stared at the faded, cracked picture. ‘We need to replace this with some of Annabelle’s. Her work is astonishing. She finds beauty in everything. And then there’s you—Sapphire-winning actor. Twenty million dollars for your last movie and a percentage of box office gross. What do you do with all that money?’
Nathaniel thought of the children in Rio and the projects he was exploring back in the U.S. ‘I give it to Jack and he doubles it.’
‘Yes, I gather he has rather a talent for investments.’
‘And poker. Even Lucas refuses to play poker with him.’
‘The tabloids have been full of stories about you and Katie Field. You’re lucky finding someone who loves you like that.’
Feeling cold inside, Nathaniel concentrated on the graffiti sprayed on the wall. ‘She walked out.’
‘And you let her? Because you don’t love her?’
‘Because I do love her.’ Acknowledging that for the first time, Nathaniel rubbed his fingers over his forehead, aware that Jacob was watching him.
‘So you’d rather spend your life with women you don’t care about?’ His tone was heavy with irony. ‘If there’s logic there, I’m missing it.’
‘If you don’t care, you don’t have anything to lose.’
‘But you do care,’ Jacob said quietly, ‘and it’s up to you to make sure you don’t lose. Although I’m guessing it can’t be easy for a woman, being with you.’
‘Because I’m screwed up?’
‘You’re no more screwed up than anyone else. No, I was thinking about the publicity. Cameras in your face wherever you go. Women wanting to marry you and have your babies. On the other hand, maybe she likes all that.’
Nathaniel thought of the brown jumpers. The way she tried to blend into the background. Beautiful, caring Katie. On Wolfe Island, there had been nothing but the two of them. The crazy, insane Hollywood world had been nowhere in sight.
Nathaniel stared at the crumbling walls of Wolfe Manor, at the dust and the cracks. The history. Jacob would restore the house, he thought. Build a future from the rubble. He needed to do the same thing. ‘She hates all that. She thinks I’m a different person in front of the camera.’
‘Is she right?’
‘Yes.’ Nathaniel traced his initials in the dust. ‘I’ve always hidden behind the acting. I didn’t want to be myself. Maybe I was afraid of more rejection. If people reject the character you’re playing it’s not as personal as if they reject the real you.’
‘You should be proud of who you are.’ Jacob’s voice was soft. ‘You’re an incredible actor. I’ve watched your career from the very start. You have a ferocious talent, Nathaniel. But you’re also a good man. I know about all your charity work—about the drama projects for disadvantaged children. Rafael filled me in.’
‘I just wrote cheques,’ Nathaniel said gruffly, ‘until Katie made me roll up my sleeves.’ He thought about the children in Rio. ‘This boy has been emailing me—I think he has real talent. I’m going to pay for him to go to drama school.’ And others—it was a decision he’d made when he accepted his Sapphire. He wanted to give other children the chance he’d had.
‘You’ve played a lot of roles. Now it’s time to play yourself. With Katie. Go.’ Jacob gave him a push. ‘We’ll get together another time. All of us. I’m back now and I’m staying. I have to stop this place from crumbling into the dirt and I intend to do the same for the rest of this family.’
Katie taped the lid of the last box. ‘There.’ She sat back on her heels and wiped her forehead with the sleeve of her jumper. Keep busy. Keep busy. ‘I never knew I’d gathered so much stuff.’
‘I can’t believe you’re packing boxes wearing a priceless necklace.’ Claire put two mugs of tea down on the threadbare carpet.
‘I’m just terrified I’ll lose it.’ Katie touched the diamonds at her throat. ‘I haven’t taken it off since I discovered I was still wearing it on the plane. I’ll be relieved when it’s finally gone.’
‘Now you’re talking rubbish. You’ll be heartbroken when it’s gone because it’s the only thing you have of him.’ Her voice gruff, Claire leaned forward and hugg
ed her friend. ‘You’re so thin. I hate him for doing this to you.’
Terrified by how bad she felt, Katie pulled away. She’d never been in love before and she’d had no idea that it could hurt this much. The grief was huge and physical, a weight on her chest that she couldn’t shift. ‘Don’t you dare cry or you’ll start me off.’
‘Sorry—I just can’t believe you’re going. What am
I going to do without you? You’re my best friend … you tell me what to wear.’ Claire’s eyes narrowed. ‘I’m loving that red jumper, by the way. What happened to all your favourite shades of brown?’
Katie felt her eyes sting. ‘I moved on,’ she said huskily. ‘Now, stop making me sad. You can come and stay. And we can email and text and there’s always Skype and Facebook—’ She broke off as someone hammered on her front door.
Claire looked at her watch. ‘The removal men are early.’
‘Katie?’ Nathaniel’s voice bellowed through the closed door. ‘Open this damn door!’
Claire shot to her feet, tea sloshing onto the carpet. ‘It’s him! What’s he doing here?’
Katie put her tea down carefully. ‘He’s here for his diamonds. I should have texted him to tell him I was planning to return it.’
‘I don’t think men like Nathaniel would bother travelling to another continent just to retrieve lost property.’
‘Well, there isn’t any other reason for him to be here.’ Feeling sick and dizzy, Katie stood and smoothed her jumper. She didn’t want to face him. She just wasn’t sure she could hang on to control. Wishing she’d couriered the necklace back to him, she walked to the door and pulled it open.
Nathaniel stood there dressed in black leather, a motorbike helmet tucked under his arm.
Her knees went weak.
How was she going to cope? How could she forget about him when Nathaniel Wolfe’s insanely handsome face stared back at her from every billboard and every magazine?
‘Hi, I know why you’re here.’ She must have learned something from him, she thought, because it was only acting skills that kept her afloat. ‘You’ve come for your property.’
‘That’s right.’ His voice was smooth and sure and he glanced over her shoulder and saw Claire. ‘Hi, Claire.’
Claire looked as though she might faint. ‘You know my name ….’
Katie put her hands behind her neck and unfastened the necklace. The diamonds seemed to symbolise all the reasons why this would never have worked. ‘Here—’ She held it out to him and he stared at it.
‘Why are you giving me that?’
‘You’ve come for your property.’
‘That’s right. But I don’t want the necklace.’ He studied her with those blue eyes that made women forget how to think straight and walk straight. ‘I want you.’
There was a whimper and a thud behind her, but Katie was too busy keeping her own emotions under control to have any thoughts to spare for her friend. She wasn’t going to fall for it. Yes, it sounded sincere. He was an actor. He earned a living making the unbelievable, believable. ‘Take the necklace …’ She pushed it into his hand. ‘Get on with your life.’ Get out of my house before I make a complete fool of myself….
‘You have every right to be angry with me.’ Without waiting for invitation, Nathaniel walked into the flat and kicked the door shut behind him.
Panic fluttered in her chest. ‘What do you think you’re doing?’
‘You’re always saying that if there’s a problem, it’s better to talk, so we’re going to talk.’
Katie stood, mute, terrified to open her mouth in case this was the moment when she broke down and sobbed.
Nathaniel lifted an eyebrow. ‘I’m giving you permission to talk—to say everything that’s in your head.’
Katie said nothing.
‘I think I’ll just go for a walk.’ Claire’s voice was falsely bright. ‘This is one scene where you definitely don’t need any extras.’ Grabbing her coat, she melted out of the flat, shutting the door firmly behind her.
Nathaniel didn’t shift his gaze from Katie. ‘This isn’t like you.’ When she still didn’t answer, he gave an exasperated sigh. ‘All right, maybe this time I’ll do the talking. I went back to Wolfe Manor. I saw Jacob.’
Katie still said nothing, but her legs felt unsteady and everything inside her was churning.
‘I went to the lake.’ Something flickered in his eyes. ‘I told you that William tried to drown me there—what I didn’t tell you was that Carrie did the same thing when I was a baby. She’d just discovered that my father had produced a child with another woman. She was always emotionally fragile, but that night—well, it tipped her over the edge. Apparently she thought she was saving me.’
This time she found her voice. ‘Nathaniel—’
‘Are those your pictures of me?’ He stared at the pile of magazines that she’d stacked by the door. ‘Are you clearing them out of your life?’
‘Never mind that.’ She felt dizzy. ‘Who saved you that night? When your mother walked into the lake with you?’
‘Jacob and Lucas were home from the school holidays and were camping in the grounds. They waded in and rescued us both. Much to my father’s fury—he beat them both for saving his “mad wife” and her unwanted child. That’s me by the way.’ His mouth twisted. ‘I was the unwanted child. Apparently the only time my father was nice to my mother was when she was pregnant with my brother Sebastian. Unfortunately she made the mistake of thinking that history would repeat itself so she got herself pregnant again. Big mistake.’
Katie wrapped her arms around herself. ‘Did she recognise you when you gave her the Sapphire?’
‘I don’t know.’ His voice was soft. ‘I think so but maybe that’s just wishful thinking.’
‘How is she?’
‘Stable. On buckets of medication, of course, but happy enough in her own world. All we can do for her is protect her as much as we can.’
But it wasn’t the child’s job to protect the parent, was it?
Katie thought about her own childhood. Her father’s hidden life didn’t change the fact that she’d been loved. Really loved. ‘I don’t know how you survived.’
‘I survived by becoming someone else. I acted my way through the most difficult years.’ Nathaniel held her gaze. ‘I was someone else pretty much the whole time until I met you. You’re the first woman who has been interested in the man, not the movie star. The drama project in Rio—I just wanted to give money. I didn’t want to know where it went. I didn’t want to hear their stories. Maybe I was trying to get rid of the guilt I felt about not protecting Annabelle. If I helped some other child …’ He gave a careless shrug. ‘And then you suggested I get involved. And it changed everything.’
‘Nathaniel—’
‘I don’t do “involved.” I don’t get down and dirty with people’s emotions—I’m not good with all that stuff. But those kids were—’ He frowned. ‘I thought I was the one helping them, but it turned out they were the ones helping me. Watching them made me realise that you cannot let yourself be defined by what went before. It’s never too late to build a new life. To do something different. To want something different. And I want something different, Katie. I don’t want to wake up every morning and act my way through the day. I want to live my life, not someone else’s.’ His gaze burned into hers. ‘And I want to live it with you.’
Her heart tried to fly but her brain wouldn’t let it. Don’t be a fool, Katie.
Nathaniel gave a crooked smile. ‘Say something.’
‘You won a Sapphire—’ her voice was a croak ‘—you’re the world’s hottest movie star ….’
‘That’s just my job—’ he took her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs ‘—that’s not who I am. You taught me that. You’re the only person who ever cared enough to look past the performance. The only person who ever wanted to know me. And I want to carry on being me, with you by my side. I love you.’ When she still didn’t speak,
his smile faltered. ‘That’s the first time I’ve ever said those words outside a film set.’
Still Katie kept the excitement tightly leashed. ‘This is all very sudden—and unexpected ….’ She wasn’t brave enough, was she? She wasn’t brave enough to believe him. ‘When did you decide that you loved me?’
‘When I won a Sapphire and it meant nothing to me.’ His eyes raked her face, searching. ‘I wanted to win it for Carrie, but the moment you walked out that night, I knew I hadn’t won at all. I’d lost.’
‘Nathaniel—’
‘I know you think I’m a coward—’ he lowered his forehead to hers, his voice unsteady ‘—but give me the chance to prove to you that I’m not. I’m a tough guy. Want to feel my muscles?’
The tears came then. They brimmed in her eyes and then slid past her smile. ‘I know you’re not a coward. I just wanted to make it better and you kept pushing me away.’
‘I won’t be doing that again. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.’ Nathaniel swiped the tears away from her cheeks and took her mouth in a brief, desperate kiss. ‘Katie, I really—Please … I’m telling you I love you—say something.’
Terror and hope danced together. ‘I can’t let myself believe you. I don’t know if you’re acting.’
‘You know I’m not acting. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life living with you in Katie-land. And you can throw out those magazines because you have the real thing.’
She made a sound that was half laugh, half sob. ‘We’re so different ….’
‘Not so different. You hid behind brown clothes. I hid behind my job.’
‘I haven’t worn brown since Wolfe Island.’ She sniffed and mopped her tears on the sleeve of her sweater. ‘You made me feel beautiful.’
‘You are beautiful.’ Sliding his arms around her, he frowned. ‘Have you lost weight?’
‘I’ve been miserable.’
With a groan of remorse, he flattened her against him. ‘I’m never letting you out of my sight again. I’m going to take you straight back to LA—’
Bad Blood Collection Page 17