by Abbi Cook
Chapter Fifty-Seven
Alexei
For as long as I’ve done my job, I’ve had a tradition of enjoying a glass of twelve year old scotch I keep for only that occasion. It’s not anything my father taught me. Just something I do after to unwind and forget.
I never regret anything I do. I am as I’ve always been. A hit man. A hired gun paid to kill people.
But the addition of Natalie to my world has made me cherish life far more than ever before. She has the effect of making me want to live more and let others do the same, even if I never tell her that.
Tonight, I’ve completed a job that I put off for a while to be with her during the madness of those months when the police were investigating her mother’s crimes. I think she worried that if I was out of her sight for too long that they’d grab me and toss me in jail too. But now that job is done, and I have a drink of twelve year old scotch waiting for me.
I pour it neat and take my first sip when she appears in the doorway to my office wearing a black T-shirt and jeans. Her hair is up in a ponytail, and she looks like she’s just finished baking something if the white on her cheeks and near her neck are any indication.
“Alexei, are you hungry? I made a cake. Would you like a piece?” she asks with a smile and an expression that’s practically begging me to try her newest concoction.
“You look like you’re wearing a good portion of it, little bird.”
Confusion clouds her expression for a moment, and then she looks down at her shirt. She hurries to wipe the flour from near her shoulder and then looks up at me again.
“I got a little into it, I guess.”
“I guess.” Setting my glass down on top of my desk, I wave her over to me. “Come here. I want to talk to you.”
She walks toward me, but she looks unsure, like she doesn’t know if she wants to know what I want to talk to her about. I smile at her as if to say don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, but her look of apprehension doesn’t leave her by the time she reaches where I sit.
“Is something wrong?” she asks, searching my face for the answer before I can give it.
Natalie’s like this a lot now that she’s living with me. I don’t think I ever noticed it before, but I suspect those years of living with that asshole Anchoff trained her to always pay attention to his moods to protect herself.
That’s not necessary with me. I keep nothing from her. She knows what I do for a living, and we have no secrets between us. I promised her that, and I’ve never gone back on that pledge even once.
“I missed you, little bird.” Leaning back in my chair, I pat my thigh. “Sit with me.”
One of her beautiful smiles lights up her face as she climbs onto my lap. “I think you mean sit on me.”
Sliding my arm around her, I pull her to me and kiss the mouth that never fails to give me the most exquisite pleasure. “Either way, I got you over here to give me what I wanted.”
Natalie taps her fingertip on my bottom lip and shakes her head. “You could have just said come kiss me. I would have happily done that if you asked. No need for subterfuge.”
“No subterfuge. I actually do want to talk to you about something. I want us to take that trip. Now that I’m finished with my job, I have some time.”
Her eyes open wide with excitement. “What trip? We never talked about going anywhere, at least not specifically.”
“And I don’t plan on telling you specifically where we’re going now, but be ready because one of these days I’m going to tell you it’s time to pack your bags, we’re going in two hours.”
Suddenly, her expression darkens and she frowns. “Alexei, I can’t leave Claire for very long. I’m worried she’s barely hanging on as it is. I keep asking her to come stay here with us, but she insists on staying in that big house all by herself. I don’t want to be away from her for that long.”
I had a feeling she’d have a problem with Claire being alone while we went away. Still clinging to that life she had before everything came out about what Elizabeth Tarrigan did to her daughters, she’s rebuffed Natalie every time she’s practically begged her to come live here. Fuck, I even thought that I’d tell Roman to pack up his stuff so she could live in the house at the other end of the estate, but she refuses to move anywhere.
“What if she came with us? She’d have to stay in a different hotel room because while I don’t mind people thinking I’m some kind of player with two gorgeous women hanging off him, I am going to want to be alone with you. Do you think you can convince her to do that?”
Giggling, Natalie says, “To help you play gigolo?”
I tickle her side and shake my head. “No. Going with us on our trip. Either that or she can stay in the cottage and I’ll kick Roman out.”
“But where will he go?” she asks, as if that’s something we need to be concerned with.
With a shrug, I answer, “I don’t know. Maybe one of those strippers he likes so much will let him crash at their place. Or maybe he can stop spending all his money on watching women get naked and pay for his own apartment.”
“Ooooh, what if you gave him the place in D.C.? That way he wouldn’t be out on the street if Claire is willing to move in here. I still won’t feel good about leaving her alone while we’re gone, so she’ll have to come with us, but when we get back, she can move into the cottage.”
The thought of Roman at the place I think of as ours doesn’t sit right with me. “I don’t want him at the apartment.”
Natalie leans down and kisses me softly. “We never go there anymore, Alexei. Your father was his father too, so it would still be in the family. He has been very nice since I moved in here. He always smiles and says hello whenever I see him around the house, and he’s never said no to any of the stuff I bake.”
“That’s because he never has money to buy himself food, little bird. He has an addiction to those strippers. He’s poor by the time the first week of the month is over.”
“Maybe you should pay him weekly?” she suggests, trying to be helpful even as I don’t want to talk about my half-brother anymore.
“I don’t handle the way he gets his money. That comes from the trust my father set up for him. Some paper-pusher doles it out every month.”
The hopefulness that had been in her eyes fades. “Oh. I just don’t want to see him lose his home, even for Claire. If only I could convince her to come live here with us. This house is big enough. She could have her privacy even while I get to watch over her.”
That kindness and gentleness so natural to Natalie never fails to make me happy. At one time, I thought she was too nice, too trusting, but now I understand it’s simply who she is.
Not that I don’t worry about her when I’m not around, but she is who she is, just like I am who I am. And I wouldn’t want to change her for the world.
“I’ll get her a passport, and if she wants to use it, she can. But she’s a grown woman, little bird. If she doesn’t want to go, we can’t force her.”
“She’s barely twenty-one, Alexei,” she says, reminding me that even as I think of her sister as some old married woman, she really is still so young.
I don’t have an answer for that. Whatever happens, Natalie and I are going on a trip.
With a pout, she says, “I’m sorry my family is such a disaster. You probably never thought you’d have to deal with all of this when you asked me to come live with you.”
Pulling her mouth down to mine, I kiss her long and deep. She tastes like powdered sugar and cinnamon on my tongue.
“I’d take you with half a dozen sisters, so don’t ever apologize.”
“Thank you. I’ll figure out a way to get her to be safe. So where are we going?”
I can’t help but smile at how sly she can be trying to slip that in to get me to give up the surprise. “Not telling. Yet, at least. You’ll love it, though.”
Again, she gives me one of those sexy pouts I love. “I’d really like to know, though.”
As I
slide my hands down her back to cup her ass, I say, “What I’d really like is you naked on my desk right now.”
“What about Roman? He’s still out there, I think,” she says before glancing toward the door of my office. “What if he comes in?”
“He’s smart enough to know if you’re in here with me that he needs to stay out.”
Before she can protest anymore, I lift her up and lay her across the top of my desk. Looking down at her, I can’t wait to taste her on my tongue.
“Alexei, he could come in!”
As I slide my hands up her thighs to unbutton her jeans, I smile and glance over toward the door. “I hope not. Nothing like having a family member walk in on you going down on a woman. I hadn’t planned on putting on a show.”
She fights me while I tug her pants down her legs, but she’s no match for me. Tossing them to the side, I return my attention to her panties and see her swinging her legs over the side of the desk.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
I push her down onto her back and make quick work of those damn purple underwear. Natalie wriggles under my hold, trying to push me away, flailing her hands and legs.
“No, Alexei. I’ll be mortified if he comes in.”
As much as I want to bury my face in that gorgeous pussy, I stop and level my gaze on her. “Do you trust me, little bird?”
That stops her and she sighs. “Of course I trust you. Always.”
“Then let me get down to business and stop trying to make this difficult. Now lay back and let me make you feel incredible.”
With one last look toward the door, she slowly relaxes onto the desk, and I take my place between her thighs. Soft as silk, they quiver when I place a kiss on the inside of her knees and then kiss my way up, nipping her with my teeth every few inches.
“You’re intentionally taking your time, aren’t you?”
I look up at her and smile. “Behave or I’m going to take twice as long. By the time my mouth gets to your pussy, you’ll be screaming for me to fuck you and then Roman’s going to hear everything.”
“Well, if you’re offering.”
She’s so incredibly sexy at this moment that I have to fight my urge to do just that. “That will happen second. First this.”
At the first touch of my tongue to her clit, Natalie whimpers loud enough for me to lift my head and chuckle. “Roman’s not going to have to come in to know what’s going on here.”
“It just feels so good. I promise to cover my mouth from now on.”
I run my finger over her wet slit and shake my head. “Make as much noise as you want. I told you. I don’t care who knows what I’m doing in here. This is my house, and if I want to make love to the woman I love, then that’s what I’m going to do. So scream if you want, little bird.”
A few seconds later, I hear her cry out when I return to eating her. I know exactly what she loves, so I flatten my tongue and drag it up the full length of her before sliding a finger inside her needy cunt.
“Oh, Alexei…don’t stop…oh, God…”
I stare up at her and watch the ecstasy wash over her face with every flick of my tongue and every time I fuck her with my finger. She comes much faster than I thought she would, clamping her thighs against the side of my head when I give her clit a final nip in the middle of her orgasm.
“Oh my God!” she wails and presses her hand to the back of my head to keep me right where she wants me and where I love to be.
She grinds against my face until the final quakes of pleasure roll through her and I lift my head to smile down at her. “Just for reference, he probably knows.”
Natalie pulls me by my tie so I cover her body with mine and kisses me slow and deep. “Do you have to stay here in your office, or can we move this party somewhere more comfortable? I don’t know how people in porn have sex on desks, but this is terribly uncomfortable.”
Her mention of porn surprises me. “And just what do you know about that?”
A blush rises on her cheeks, making them the sweetest shade of deep pink. “Pilar at the country club, the woman who told me about how to go down on you? Well, she said I should watch some porn to give me an idea of what to do, so I looked at a few.”
“Little bird, you never cease to amaze me. My Natalie watching porn. Wow.”
“If you meet me in the bedroom in five minutes, I’ll show you what I saw with a woman selling candy door-to-door. She did this thing with her mouth and her hand I think you’d like.”
“Really?”
I lift her off the desk and set her on her feet. Gathering up her underwear and jeans, she turns to face me and smiles. “Really. See you in five?”
She leans in and gives me a kiss before whispering against my lips, “I can’t wait. Hurry, Alexei.”
A second later, she takes off out of my office, likely running past Roman as he sits at his desk pretending to be something other than a bored relative of a hit man whose cover is an importer of fine china. Not that I care if he knows what we’re up to.
There’s nothing wrong with a man crazy in love with a woman heading off to his bedroom in the middle of the afternoon to enjoy some sexual position she learned watching porn. Adam Anchoff never understood the prize he had in Natalie.
I never forget.
Chapter Fifty-Eight
Natalie
Dr. Trevino sits facing me with a look of utter shock as I finish finally telling him all that has happened. Well, almost everything. I still need to keep the details of Alexei’s life and Adam’s death from him.
Unable to say anything for a long time, he finally lets out a heavy sigh. “I don't have the words for what I'm thinking right now, but I want you to know I'm proud of you, Natalie. I was worried when you didn’t come in for so long. I thought the worst, I guess, but this is all so much more than I ever could have imagined.”
I nod, understanding his shock at hearing all I’ve told him today. “Thank you.”
“You didn't give up when your mind began to give you clues about what happened to you. You didn't run away from them. You faced them head on. Not everyone can do that. I think you're much stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for.”
His compliment makes me chuckle. "I don't feel strong. I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind from one crisis to another. Six months ago, I had three sisters and a mother who I thought loved us. Now Lauren is dead because of what my mother did. She's in prison for heinous crimes I still can't wrap my head around, my sister Tess has told me I'm dead to her and she never wants to see me again, and my sister Claire is barely hanging on. They've lost their husbands and lives they built with those men, but hey, at least they have their money."
My joke about not being poor hits my ears wrong, and I immediately apologize. "I'm sorry. That didn't come out the way I intended. That was a reference to my mother's near glee that my sisters and I wouldn't be left destitute. Not that having money makes up for three lives ruined, and that doesn't count my nieces' and nephew's lives."
"So what are you going to do now?" he asks in an upbeat voice that sounds as wrong to my ears as my stupid joke.
"I don't know. I have a brand new life I can look forward to. I’m with Alexei now, and every day is better than the last. I just hope I don’t mess this up."
"You weren’t to blame for your marriage to Adam falling apart, Natalie. Remember that."
In a flash, the reality that all my hallucinations weren't made up at all but flashbacks of events I participated in returns, and my face grows hot from embarrassment. "All those visions were real, Dr. Trevino. I don't know how to handle that. I feel so wrong when I think about all of it," I say looking away, unable to face him.
"The right word is wronged. You were drugged. What you did wasn't of your own volition. That's important to remember."
"I guess."
"Natalie, we're going to talk about what happened, along with a lot of other things, but I want you to promise me something. Promise me you won't give up.
Your gut sense about everything since the day I met you has been right. Don't give up, okay?"
For the first time, my therapist sounds concerned about me. I smile and shrug so hopefully he doesn't worry. "I can't give up now. I've got my sister to worry about. Claire needs me, so I couldn't give up if I wanted to. And I have someone who loves me in Alexei. I don’t want to give up now.”
“I think our sessions will help.”
With a chuckle, I agree. “After all I’ve been through, I’m going to need these appointments just to keep my head together.”
Dr. Trevino pats me on the arm and gives me his usual nod. “Good. That’s what we do here, after all.”
Claire and I sit silently on that little patch of heaven right off her living room in the center of Georgetown as the autumn sun does its best to warm the October air. She likes to spend time out here every day, and it's the least I can do to sit with her, even though we say little during the hour or so.
Her doctor worries she might try to harm herself out of despair, but I've promised him that won't happen as long as I'm around. I won't let her life go as easily as Lauren's. I can't make up for that, but I can make sure Claire doesn't lose hope because of everything that’s happened.
"Do you ever wonder why we ended up as sisters, Natalie? It seems that the odds of us being in the same family were a million to one," she says quietly, punctuating her thought with one of her gentle smiles.
"I'd put the odds at bigger than that."
I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I, too, was adopted. I haven't told her I'm having a hard time with that, though. She doesn't need that on her mind.
"I think I must be the luckiest person in the world, you know that?"
Surprised to hear her call herself lucky after all that's happened, I smile. "Really?"
"Oh yeah," she says with a nod. "Even after all that we've been through, I have a sister like you."
"Well, you know what I always say. Sisters stick together. Always. Right?"
Claire doesn't answer but closes her eyes and tilts her head back to let the sun hit her face. All that's happened has made me realize even though our mother created lives for us she thought we should live, she couldn't create who we truly are. She tried, but in the end, Claire is who she was always going to be and I am too. Maybe it's because of who her birth parents are. Maybe I'm like I am because of who mine are.