“Okay.” Sarah stood from the couch, wrapping her arms around her upper body. She looked frightened. “How is she doing?”
“She’s in pain and pretty banged up.” I hated that my girl was suffering. “She’s going to be okay though.”
“Oh God.” Sarah was full of concern. “I hope Ally feels better soon. This hasn’t been easy on her. She didn’t deserve this.”
Sarah’s words provided a sudden clarity, one I hadn’t even realized I had been searching for. Ally’s decision to leave me in the dark about our daughter, her decision to change her life entirely, to move far away from me, to put herself through the emotional pain. It all made sense. Despite loving her, I had hated the choices she had made. I thought she had been selfish, wanting the easiest route for herself, but now I understood that had never been in the case. I had done the same thing. My decisions were based on what I thought would be best for her and my daughter, and those good intentions had horrible consequences.
It wouldn’t happen again. There wouldn’t be any more unilateral decisions or attempts to take fate into our own hands. I was staying with Ally, or better yet she would be coming with me. She couldn’t stay in this small town, not after everything that had happened. We would move. I could do that for her. I owed her so much more than that. I owed her the life she deserved, clean, safe and full of love. We owed each other that.
“I’ll keep you updated.” I finally responded to Sarah. She had zoned out.
“It was nice meeting you,” Ian added, as Sarah came back to reality and made her exit.
“So, this is Ally’s apartment?” Justin eyed the room. “It’s not very big.”
“I know.” I would buy us something bigger, something that would work for our family. “Do you want something to eat?” I walked the few steps to the kitchen. Both guys shook their heads.
“Just show me where everything we need for the baby,” Ian suggested.
“Kenzie, right?” Justin confirmed.
“Yes,” I answered and briefly toured the house, pulling out clothing from Kenzie’s dresser, quietly, careful not to wake her. Ian stayed in the room, watching her sleep while I finished pulling out items they would need for diaper changes.
“She’s amazing.” Ian’s words were full of love. I piled the items on the kitchen table. “She looks exactly like you. Well, except her nose. That is definitely Ally.” He was full of regret for all the lost time. “I wish one of us had of clued in. You know, figured out that she was pregnant. Then we would have always known her. Your mom and dad are going to love her.” He was right; they would absolutely adore her. They had been waiting for a grand child, not knowing they had one. I have two older siblings who my mother had been hounding, so I could guarantee they would welcome Ally and Kenzie with open arms.
“That should do for now.” My voice cracked as I motioned to the items on the table. “I’ll stay until she wakes up and then leave for the hospital for a couple of hours.”
“Go now,” Ian demanded. “We will be fine. We can handle a baby, just keep your phone on you, in case we need anything.” I took them up on their offer, trusting them to take care of my daughter. Before leaving, I scoured her room, packing her clean clothing and then took the keys to the rental from Ian and made the drive back to the hospital.
Chapter 15
Encore
I spent three torturous days in the hospital, being poked and prodded with needles, fed disgustingly dry and tasteless food, and having my stitched areas cleaned by orderlies. The only highlight of my stay was Tim’s constant presence. He was there almost the entire time, leaving only once each day to go back to the apartment to check on Kenzie and make sure Justin and Ian had things under control.
Ian and Justin had been incredibly supportive, finding ways to bring Kenzie to the hospital so that I could spend time with her. The band canceled four weeks of their tour dates, citing a family emergency. They would revisit those locations at a later date, and neither of the boys appeared distraught over the change.
When I finally received my walking papers, I was elated. My apartment had never seemed more like home than when we walked through the door.
“Are you glad to be back?” Tim asked, holding onto my good arm tightly, providing balance as I limped into the living room.
“Yes. I’m glad to be out of that room.” I lowered myself onto the couch, keeping pressure off the sensitive areas of my body.
“Me too.” His lips grazed my cheek. “I’ve been thinking…” Tim’s voice trailed off as his lips touched my skin again and again. I tilted my head back, allowing him better access to my neck. “I’ve been thinking, that maybe we should leave here.”
I wasn’t surprised by his suggestion. The past three days had allowed us to morph back into our prior couple status. If we were going to make this work, things would have to change. As much as I didn’t want to leave Maggie and Sarah, I understood Tim would want to live somewhere where that he could access a recording studio. He would want a place with gates and security, with an outside area where Kenzie could play, and space for her to grow. He would want us far away from the place that kept us apart. I wouldn’t be returning to work here, everyone knew what had happened, and I would never feel comfortable in the office again. We needed a fresh start. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“You’re okay with it?” He questioned, shocked by my cooperation. “I thought maybe we could move closer to my parents.”
“Okay.” I shrugged my shoulders, immediately regretting the reaction as pain from the stretched wounds shot down my arms. The gashes were healing nicely, and it would only be another week or so before the stitches would be removed.
“Wow.” He slipped his fingers through mine. “Well, that was easier than I expected.”
Just then Ian and Justin walked through the door with Kenzie, two bodyguards, not Kane or Rich since Tim had fired them, and four boxes of pizza.
We enjoyed the remainder of the afternoon, finally feeling like this was how things should be. Kenzie bonded with the two newest men in her life, and you could tell how much they loved her.
Fortunately for Tim and me, now that I was out of the hospital, the guys were opting to stay in a hotel twenty minutes away. Neither of us had pressed for the privacy, but given the small size of my apartment, I could understand them finding it awkward to be here. Kenzie had fallen asleep between us on the couch. I hadn’t had the heart to move her, being away for so long meant I cherished every second with her even more. The three of us together felt right. We should have always been like this.
“I’m going to go and put her in the crib.” Tim shifted her into his arms, about an hour after she had fallen asleep.
“Sounds good. I think I’m going to get ready for bed too.” I stated, limping my way to the bathroom. I didn’t want to sleep, but I did want to spend some time wrapped in Tim’s arms.
“Do you need help?” He watched me, while still holding Kenzie.
“I don’t think so,” I responded, knowing that I probably did. The bandages that were covering the stitched areas needed to be cleaned and redressed. My legs and hip wouldn’t be too difficult, but the other areas would be, especially trying to maneuver with the cast. Tim may have spent most of the time in the hospital with me, but he had only seen my arms and forehead. I wasn’t prepared for him to be exposed to everything else.
“You sure?” Tim stopped at Kenzie’s door. I nodded, gently shutting the bathroom door behind me. I struggled to remove my shirt and decided my bra was a lost cause. I hadn’t thought this through. Maybe I should have just called Maggie; she wouldn’t have minded helping me. That was a better option than having Tim see the jagged, stitched scabs.
Slipping the shirt back over my head and attempting to slip my arms back into the sleeves was excruciating. “Ow.” I couldn’t contain my groan. The door flew open.
“Let me help you.” His hands moved quickly, pulling the shirt back over my head, letting it fall to the floor. This wa
s already counter productive.
“I’m okay. I can call Maggie to help.” Self consciously I wrapped my arms across the front of my body, hiding what I could from his view. The last time Tim had seen me naked the only markings on my body were the few silvery stretch marks from carrying our baby, and those scars I was proud of.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I can do it. I would prefer to do it.” Tim kissed my lips. “Do you need to change the bandages?”
I nodded. “It’s pretty gross.”
“It’s fine.” He smiled. “Where are the bandages?” Tim was determined. I gave up the fight, realizing I wasn’t going to win that battle.
“Under the sink, I think.” That was where Ian had said he had unloaded the medical supplies that came home from the hospital with me. Tim pulled out the cotton, tape, anti-bacterial soap, and ointment. I turned on the water, waiting for the temperature to rise. “Are you sure?” I asked one final time, grabbing a dark face cloth off the shelf.
“You never need to ask me that. I’m always sure when it comes to you.” His hands moved gently, removing the tape, starting at the edges, revealing my stitched skin. He took his time stripping the bandages from both of my arms, before moving below my breast. I shuddered under his touch, my bra the only piece of fabric covering my upper body. His movements were mesmerizing as he cleaned each of the stitched areas, lightly applying ointment before taping clean bandages over the wounds. I remained silent while he took care of me.
“Do you want to put a clean shirt on before I do your hip and leg?” He asked, throwing the used bandages in the garbage. I shook my head. We had already gone that far; it made sense to rip off the metaphorical bandage and allow him visibility to everything. These scars were going to remain. They may fade, but they would still be there.
He chuckled, running his fingers down my midsection. “You’re beautiful. You’ll always be beautiful.”
“So are you.” I tilted my head and looked into his eyes. “You are more than amazing.” I pushed up, pressing my lips to his, holding him close while I took over his mouth.
“Okay. So, your leg.” Tim pulled away and cleared his throat.
“Ya.” I grinned, slowly moving my good hand down to the stretchable yoga pants I was wearing. My one hand lowered them with ease.
“Ya... Leg.” Tim’s hands dropped to my hips, slipping one hand into my panties. “Leg.” His hand snapped back and returned to focusing on my wounds. His touch made me tremble, even without any sexual purpose. He finished taping off the last strip of cotton. “There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Now for clothing,” I stated, walking out of the bathroom, toward my bedroom. “Do you want to help me?” I was dressed in only my bra and thong, and the way Tim was staring made me feel sexy, scars and all.
“I don’t think clothing is necessary.” He followed me into the bedroom. “God, I missed this body.” He did his best to show me how much, leaning down to mold his lips to mine. My hands roamed his body, memorizing every rivet and dip as Tim’s breathing became more ragged. “Al, we should probably take a break, before I have a hard time stopping.”
“What if I don’t want you to stop?” I sounded desperate, and I was. Tim didn’t hesitate, his lips destroying mine, while his hands unsnapped the clasp of my bra.
“Fuck Al.” He groaned, lowering his head to take one of my nipples into his mouth, popping it out to trace it with his tongue. “I swear I will always take care of you.”
“And I promise I will always be honest with you.” I backed him toward my bed and used one hand to tug at his T-shirt. Tim pulled it over his head, exposing his bare skin. “I will always belong to you.” I pressed a kiss to his chest.
“I love you, Al.” Tim pushed my panties down, far enough for me to kick them off. He removed his pants, making things easier for me. Being physical was going to be painful no matter how gentle we were. My skin itched and burned from the strain I was placing on the stitches, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let anything come between us. “Be careful Al.” Tim pleaded as I pushed him down and climbed on top of him. His face strained as I rubbed myself against his erection. “God!” His head fell back, his eyes closed and neck strained.
I moaned louder than intended as I slid along him one more time before allowing him to thrust into me. “This is where you belong.”
“This is where I will always belong.” Tim picked up his speed, proving exactly why he belonged.
“Is that the last box?” I asked, staring at the pile of boxes lining my empty living room. Tim had hired a moving company to pack up the apartment. The stitches had been out for a week, but my skin was still swollen and sore. My cast wouldn’t be removed for a couple of weeks, so my ability to pack was limited. The belongings of mine that we had decided to keep would be driven by the moving company, while Tim, Kenzie and I would make the journey by airplane.
“I think that’s it.” He sighed, wrapping his arms around my waist, resting his chin on the curve of my shoulder. “Are you nervous?”
“About meeting your parents?” Nervous didn’t even begin to cover it. I was petrified. Tim had decided staying with his parents for a few weeks was the best option since it would allow us to take the time we needed to find our family home. His parents also wanted time to bond with Kenzie, after all of the time they had missed. “I’m scared to death,” I admitted. We had promised one hundred percent honesty.
The night Tim called his parents to tell them about all of the changes in his life, I sat on the other end of the couch, curled into myself preparing for the arctic chill that followed hatred. Tim, on the other hand, was light and airy, opening the conversation with excitement. “Mom… you know how you’ve always wanted a grandchild?” I could only imagine the thoughts running through her mind. “Well, you have one.” Tim’s end of the line was quiet for a few moments, allowing his mother to process and respond. “No, no mom. She’s sixteen months old.” More silence, as Tim’s mother expressed her frustration on the other end. “I only found out a little while ago mom.” His mother was loud after his response, her voice carrying through the speaker. Tim’s vague announcement was leaving her with many unanswered questions and too much room to speculate. “No mom, with Ally.”
“You know they are incredibly excited.” His lips found the nape of my neck. “And I am incredibly excited about having you all to myself.” For the past couple of weeks, Tim had already had me all to himself for the most part. Ian and Justin had spent most of the two weeks with us, and the last week we had spent packing, but I wouldn’t complain about more time alone. That wouldn’t be happening at his parents’ house, but when we had our own house, we would have all the time in the world. We had so much lost time to make up for, and I was looking forward to every minute.
“I just hope they don’t hate me.” My worst fear about all of this was living with, and near people who would never forgive me for the time they lost with Kenzie. They meant the world to Tim, and I didn’t want to be an issue. Tim’s mom had called several times, speaking with both Tim and me. Over the phone, she didn’t appear to hold any resentment, but I wasn’t delusional in thinking everything would be just peachy, without at least one emotionally charged altercation. A girl could hope though.
“They won’t.” Tim smiled, confidently. “They could never hate the woman I love.” Love, what an amazing word that could be when it was real. Every time Tim said the words they left me feeling complete.
Kenzie was cranky the entire fight, leaving both Tim and I exhausted by the time we landed. Thank god for our first-class seats, they prevented her from bothering too many people. My anxiety grew as we approached the airport. This first impression was one that needed to go well. They were going to be my future family. My only family.
The airport was bustling with people. I stayed near Tim, as security led us to the place where his parents were waiting. Tim placed his hand on my lower back as we walked into the room. “Kenz, are you ready to meet Nanny and Grampy?”
Tim held her close and looked down at me. My stomach fluttered, she was going to have grandparents, which was something I had never known.
“Tim!” His mother exclaimed. “This must be Kenzie.” She beamed, with tears in her eyes. “She’s so beautiful.” Her arms were outstretched, waiting to hold her granddaughter. Tim’s mother hugged her tightly, before holding her out to take in her features. She studied her face while Kenzie babbled at her. Once Tim’s mother was satisfied, she turned her attention to me. “And you must be Ally.” She shifted Kenzie to give me a one-armed hug.
“Hey guys!” Tim’s father greeted, embracing his son briefly. “So, this is our grand baby.” His expression was a proud one.
“This is Miss Kenzie.” Tim introduced while removing his hand from my back and wrapping an arm around my waist. “Our daughter.”
“I’m sorry this took so long.” It had been my fault that I had deprived them of her for so long. You could tell they had fallen in love with instantly.
“It’s in the past.” His father replied. “What matters is that you are here now.” How true that was. You may not be able to change the past, but you could learn from it. We would move forward together, as the family we always should have been.
Three weeks after the move, Tim’s family doctor removed my cast. It also happened to be the same day we closed on our six beds, four baths home. Our realtor had been fantastic, with the right incentive of course. He found us a perfect home.
The house required a few renovations to make our life easier. Tim planned on turning a section of our basement into a sound proof, personal studio for him and the guys to work on their music. It would allow for him to be home more often, spending less time away from Kenzie. The remainder of the basement was going to be renovated into an apartment, for Ian and Justin to stay in when they were working. I also wanted a home office. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I expected once the dust settled I would want to do something in my spare time. Tim was scheduled to be out of town for a few days, something I would have to adjust to. His manager and publicist had been successfully handling all of the media questions about the canceled tour dates and sudden events in his personal life. His time spent with me in the hospital was followed up with candid photographs and videos that have since been plastered on various media sites. Tim’s sudden family had been explained, but his sudden breakup and the subsequent rekindling of our relationship, coupled with the attack, stirred things up. The guys would have some smoothing out to do. Despite all of the hoops and hurdles, having Tim back in my life was worth it.
Hazed Page 21