by Molly Evans
She didn’t need to ask who the “he” was. Though she tried to pull away, he kept his hand on her face. “I don’t want to do this.”
“Gina, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I don’t want to get hurt either. But if we keep this up, one of us is bound to lose.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way. I want to get to know you, but you have to meet me halfway.” Was he falling in love with her? Was it just desire and circumstances between them? Would they have had the same attraction between them if they had met at another time, another place without the drama of the workplace?
“I just don’t understand why you want to. Why me? Why not some society woman who knows all the right people, does all the right things, rather than someone like me?” What could he possibly see in her? She was nothing.
“I don’t know, Gina. I don’t know. All I know is that you’re here, exactly where I want you.” He took a breath and stepped closer. “There’s an old saying that goes something like, ‘Never ask why. Just accept the good things in life.’ And so I am. Even when they come at me out of nowhere.” He stared right at her as he said it.
“I’m not…I don’t know how…” She shook her head. The good things in life just didn’t happen to people like her. If they did, she’d have had a better life a long time ago, not the one she lived now. “What if…?” The words wouldn’t come out.
“Shh.” He placed a finger to her lips. “Just accept.”
“I’m not used to needing anyone, but I do need you, Thomas.” She took a trembling breath, determined to see this through. Somehow she needed to start living again. “I need you, but I’m afraid of reaching out.”
“Just like everyone else in this world.”
With a nod, Gina admitted to herself that he was right. He’d been there too.
“I’ve been to this dance a few times myself. It stinks, and I don’t want to go there any more than you do. But I’m even more afraid of not living my life.”
“But…what if I can’t stop being afraid?” That was truly her greatest fear.
“Eventually, you’ll have to trust yourself enough to find out.” He continued to stare at her, seeming to wait for her, allowing her the space she needed.
Need and desire warred within her, battling with the fear she’d lived with for most of her life. “You’re right,” she said with tears in her eyes. “What is life without experiences? I don’t want to wake up when I’m eighty and look back on life and I wish I had.” She held out her hand to him, and he took it, entwining his long fingers with hers.
“None of us knows the future. It’s the here and now that counts.”
With a tug, he pulled her closer, and she went to him, her fears curiously subdued with those simple words. “Thomas…” Shedding everything except for her need for him, Gina reached out and held him.
“Will you stay with me?” he asked, sliding one hand into her hair and cupping the back of her head as he waited for her answer. Desire seemed to flow from him in his posture, in his eyes, in the set of his jaw. He hungered for her. She wanted him.
“Yes.” The word was a sigh in her mouth, and Thomas moved. His mouth was made of magic as he kissed her. The silky glide of his moist lips coursing over hers made her wonder why she had ever questioned this. This need for him was real. Holding him in her arms was real. She’d never been passionate, but he brought it out in her.
“I want your skin against mine,” he whispered against her mouth. Long fingers tunneled under her shirt and stroked up her back, pulling goose bumps along the way.
She shivered in the anticipation of having his hands on her skin. Somehow they ended up back in the bedroom, and Thomas slowly removed her clothes. Suddenly shy, she turned her back to him. His naked chest pressed against her back as his arms went around her, holding her close. “You are beautiful, Gina,” he whispered as he kissed her neck. “Just beautiful.”
Leaning her head to the side, she closed her eyes as his mouth roved over her. With his hands moving down her arms, his thumbs stroked her nipples, drawing them into hard peaks. Never had she been so aroused. This was so much more than simple chemistry between them. He was the kind of man she’d longed for all her life. She leaned her head back against his shoulder as his large hands cupped her breasts, gently squeezing, testing their weight and feel.
Thomas swallowed hard as he held her. His thumbs worked in lazy circles on her breasts as he kissed her neck and her ear. Part of him wanted to rush, to throw her onto the bed, to show her exactly how she made him feel, how she made him react, how hard she made him. But he knew he couldn’t. If he rushed her, he’d ruin this fragile thing between them. This trust that was building. This trust that he very much wanted between them. Something that he’d lacked in his marriage that was so very important right now.
Her skin was as soft as anything he’d ever touched, and he stroked his hands over her abdomen down to the front of her shorts. When she arched her hips back against him and clasped her hands around his neck, he almost gave in to his primitive urges. Struggling for control, he pushed her shorts to the floor. “I want all of you against me, Gina. All of you.”
She turned in his arms and pressed the length of her body against his, her nipples burning like hot pebbles against his chest. Every breath he took drew her scent into his mind. Wanting to touch her everywhere, his hands roved over her as he captured her mouth again. “You taste like peanut butter.”
She gave a quick giggle, but when he cupped her buttocks in his hands, pulling her tight against him, a gasp that sounded like a sigh escaped her throat. “Thomas,” she said, her eyes glassy with need. “I can’t believe I can feel this good. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.” Was it right? Was it wrong? She didn’t want to know right now. She just wanted to feel. Everything.
The rumpled covers of the bed were cool against her back as Thomas laid her down. The weight of him was luxurious, pressing her into the softness of the bed. He released her mouth and searched out her breasts, licking and suckling both nipples.
Waves of desire and need washed over her as he pulled a nipple into his mouth. Her hands ranged over his shoulders and her breath came now in urgent gasps. She didn’t seem to be able to communicate what she needed, but somehow he knew and touched her everywhere she needed to be touched. “Do you have a condom?”
“Yes,” he whispered in her ear. His hands claimed every inch of her skin. He wanted her, but he wanted to please her more. Before he got too carried away, he reached into the bedside stand and retrieved a pack, fumbled it open and slid the condom on. With his knees, he parted hers and lay cradled between them. He could feel her heat and moisture against him. She pressed her lips together and tried to hide the moan in her throat. But he wanted it. “Tell me. Let me hear you,” he whispered, and let his hand drift downward to her center.
The instant he touched her, she gasped, wonder in every sound she made. Driven by his desire for her, he moved, pressing himself to her soft center. “Gina. Tell me what you want.”
Without a word she dug her fingers into his buttocks, urging him upward, urging him on. He needed no further encouragement. Opening his mouth over hers, he teased her tongue with his as he pressed inside her hot, moist folds.
With a gasp, she stiffened, her fingernails digging into his skin, and he stilled. “Did I hurt you?”
Gina took a few breaths and adjusted her position, moving her long legs around his hips and holding him close, pulling him deep inside her. “No. It’s just been a very long time for me.”
Thomas eased back. “It will be worth the wait.”
He filled her. Every hard inch of him filled her. Thoughts were long gone as she gave in to the demands of her body and let him set the pace between them. Tighter and tighter he wound the coil inside her. When he moved one hand between them to touch her, she shattered. Clinging to him, she cried out as pulsing waves of pleasure overtook her. Thomas moved with her and hurried the pace. Clutching her hips wit
h his hands, he plunged deep inside her with a groan. She could feel the pulse of him as he shared her release. Gasping for air, she held on to Thomas as he drew out their pleasure to the last.
Wrapped up in him, Gina finally slept, peacefully and without dreams. Once during the night Thomas nudged her awake with stirring strokes of his hands and soft kisses. This was one night that she would never forget.
CHAPTER SIX
GINA sat by her mother’s bedside for three days before the decision was made to take Martha to surgery to repair her hip. There were no guarantees offered by the surgeon or the psychiatrist. The anesthesiologist voiced grave concerns about how the sedation could affect Martha, given her past medical history and current mental condition. Gina understood the risks. But she had to do what she could to keep Martha comfortable and ensure her greatest quality of life. This surgery might work, it might not work, but she had to try. That’s all she could offer her mother. There was nothing else left.
Going to the fund-raiser seemed so trivial in the light of what had happened to her mother, but she had promised Thomas that she would go. So to take her mind off her mother, she decided to torture herself at a vintage clothing boutique to find a dress. There was nothing she could do while her mother was in surgery and Recovery, so she may as well make some use of her time. After checking her cell phone to make sure it was fully charged, she headed across the street.
A dress. A dress. All she needed was a dress, she thought as she pushed one after another aside on the rack. And shoes. And hose. And jewelry. And a purse to complete the outfit. But first a dress.
She sighed. This was going to take longer than she’d expected, and she glanced at her watch for the hundredth time in an hour. She pulled out her cell phone to make sure she hadn’t missed any calls from the hospital, but there was nothing.
“May I help you?” the clerk at the vintage clothing store asked.
The woman was in her fifties, dressed in good taste, not gaudy, not trendy or old lady-ish, and Gina started to relax. She could deal with this.
“I need a dress.” What could be more simple than that?
“So I gathered. Nothing appeals to you, though?”
“Not a thing.” Shopping just wasn’t her deal.
“OK, well, first of all, what’s the dress for?” the clerk asked.
“Dinner at the Boar’s Head Inn. Fund-raiser for the university cancer center.” She still couldn’t believe she was going to go through with this, but a promise was a promise. Maybe she could contract malaria by then. Typhoid was in season, wasn’t it? Or was that the plague?
“Oh, lovely! But you’re in the wrong section, honey. Come on over here,” she said, and motioned for Gina to follow her. “The classics are over here. You’re in the more trendy stuff, which won’t work for that sort of night out. And you’ll definitely want black for this. How are your legs?”
“My legs?” Gina blinked at her, confused. “I’ve just got the two.”
“Well, do you want to show them off or hide ’em?”
Was she serious? “Uh, neither.” What did that matter?
“Tea length, then. Shows some leg, but leaves the rest to the imagination. Whets the appetite of every man in the room.”
“Look, I don’t want to whet anyone’s anything. I just want to live through this night without humiliating myself.” Was that asking for too much? Thoughts of being in Thomas’s arms again crept into her mind, and she resisted the urge to replay them in her mind. Sitting by her mother’s bedside hadn’t given her much opportunity to see him. But he’d checked in on her every day and for that she would be eternally thankful.
The clerk pushed several dresses aside. “Aha! This will be perfect.” She pulled a black lace dress from the rack, held it up against Gina and considered it. “With your hair and figure, this will be a knockout. I’ll have to trust you on the legs, though. Want to try it on?”
“Sure. What about shoes? I need everything to go with it.” Gina shook her head in disgust as she took the dress from the clerk. “I know I’m gonna spend a fortune for just one night.” Holding the dress by the hanger, she followed the clerk to the shoe section.
“Everyone needs a classic black dress in their closet. Never know when you’re going to need one.” The clerk fussed over her for another hour until Gina had the perfect ensemble for the following night’s event.
After a long day at the hospital seeing to her mother, Gina fidgeted with her dress. Sequins and beads subtly woven throughout the fabric caught the light no matter which way she turned. Some secret feminine part of her that she hadn’t allowed out in a very long time was thrilled with the way she looked and felt. The heat of a blush scorched her as she thought of Thomas and wondered how he would react when he saw her. So far he’d only seen her in scrubs, or shorts and a T-shirt. The clerk had been right—the dress was a classic, and one she could wear just about anywhere. She just hoped she didn’t need it for a long time after this. Going to country club events just wasn’t her style and made her very nervous. Thomas was certainly more accustomed to such outings than she was. He’d probably been to hundreds of these events.
This was supposed to be fun, for a good cause, so she definitely needed to put her own issues aside for one night, as Thomas had suggested. The nerves she had were just about wanting things to work out right, right? Not wanting to look good for Thomas, not wanting to see the desire sparkle in his eyes again. The doorbell rang, and her mouth went dry.
“Coming!” She hurried through the cottage to the door, battling the nerves that persisted, despite the talking-to she had given herself. Stopping a few feet from the door, she gave her hair one last fluff. As she reached for the knob, she sucked in a deep breath and opened the door.
“You look magnificent,” Thomas said, and the admiration in his eyes showed he spoke the truth. He took her hand, gave her a little twirl that coaxed a giggle of delight out of her, and she started to relax. This was going to be a wonderful evening. Suddenly, with Thomas looking at her the way he was, she thought that nothing could go wrong.
“Ready?” she asked.
Thomas held out his arm to her. “I polished my car just for you.” He gave a sidelong smile that made her heart shiver.
“Did anyone ever tell you how manipulative you are?” she asked, and placed her arm in his.
While driving to the event, Gina twisted her hands in her lap, fiddled with the strap of her purse and crossed and recrossed her legs several times.
“What are you so fidgety about? Rhonda and most of the crew you know will be there.” Thomas cast a quick glance her way.
“It’s not that,” Gina said, and twisted the purse strap in her hands.
“If it’s your mother, I checked on her myself an hour ago, and she was doing fine.”
“I know. Thanks again for checking on her. But…I have a small confession to make before we get there.” She didn’t want to ruin the evening before they even arrived, but he deserved to know the truth from her. Even if it was painful for her to admit. “This won’t be my first time at the Boar’s Head Inn.” She hadn’t lied to him, but she hadn’t told him the entire truth.
“So you do know your left fork from your right spoon.” Thomas slid her a quick amused glance, seemingly unaffected by the information. “You’ve eaten there before?”
“Yes, but that’s not all.” Should she just blurt it out? How would he react? Should she just throw herself under the car and be done with it?
“So…what? You may as well just tell me and then we can get on to having fun.”
“I was a waitress there. I worked there for several years to support myself while going to nursing school.” Shame made her drop her gaze to her lap. She waited for squealing tires and to be ejected from the car.
“So? Lots of people work their way through college as waitresses. What’s the big deal?” Thomas tossed her a frown, then turned his attention back to the road.
“You don’t understand because you didn�
�t grow up here. You’re taking the hired help to dinner. I was a servant to your peers and your family, Thomas. Doesn’t that bother you?” This could be the end of what had started out to be a lovely evening. Some things people couldn’t overcome.
“Gina,” he began, “I don’t care. That stuff doesn’t matter to me. It never has, and it never will.” He kissed her hand. “You need to live in the here and now, not the past and not the future. It hasn’t been written yet.”
“How can you say that? You’ve never lived without money.” Now she’d just insulted her date. Great. Would lightning strike her now? She looked at the sky for dark clouds, but saw nothing except a beautiful summer sunset.
“Money isn’t the issue here,” he said, and pulled into the long circular drive of the inn that was bordered on either side by enormous oak trees. “The issue is that you’re feeling threatened by your past and this is the perfect place to get rid of it.”
“I don’t think that’s the issue at all,” she said, and felt herself color. How could he pretend to know anything about her life, let alone ask her to give up her past, just like that?
“Gina, I know a little something about this. At some point in your life you’re going to have to choose what’s more important to you—your past or your future.” He opened the car door and got out, then came round to her side.
“That’s easy for you to say.” She put her hand in his and allowed him to ease her from the seat.
“Sure it is. It’s always easier to pick apart someone else’s life than it is your own.” He didn’t relinquish her hand as they stood there. “I can tell you what is probably the right thing for you to do, but you’re the one who has to do it.”
Gina stared at him. Damn him. How could he possibly be so righteous about this? He had no idea what had gone on in this place. She gave a tight smile, refusing to be drawn further into this conversation. “Shall we go in?”
“Yes. I’m famished.” They took a few steps, then Thomas stopped. “I’m sorry if I offended you. That wasn’t my intention, and I certainly don’t want us to have a bad time. Let’s take a little time away from reality, just relax and enjoy. I know I need it. I think you probably do, too.”