Burn Out

Home > Other > Burn Out > Page 9
Burn Out Page 9

by Cheryl Douglas


  Trey smiled. “Now you really sound like your old man, kid. I remember in the beginnin’ of my career, Luc told me I should never try to be someone I think the fans want me to be ‘cause they’ll know I’m just tryin’ to sell them a bill of goods. I should always stay true to myself, acknowledge my flaws, make the kind of music I’d want to listen to, and appreciate each and every person who buys one of the records ‘cause they’re the reason I get to wake up and do somethin’ I love every day.”

  Evan grinned. “Sounds like somethin’ Dad would say.” Luc had been responsible for so many legendary musicians in his career for a reason. He was the best, and Evan was proud to be his son, to be given the opportunity to fill his enormous shoes.

  “You’re so much like him, Ev. But you’re different in a lot of ways too. It took him a while to figure out what was really important in life, but he got there eventually. I’m not gonna lie. I’m worried about whether you’ll ever sort it out.”

  Trey had always been someone he could confide in, so he didn’t hesitate to tell him about his game plan with Erika. “I’m gettin’ there. In fact, that’s what this proposition is about. I want to bring you on board so I can start to make time for a healthy relationship. I want a wife and a family, and I still want the woman I build that life with to be Erika. I don’t believe it’s too late to turn things around and make her believe I’ve changed, but I know if I wait much longer, it will be too late.” He drew a deep breath. “I’m kinda askin’ this as a favor, Uncle Trey. Will you help me out?”

  Trey grinned and extended his hand. “Hell, you know all you had to do was ask.”

  Evan felt a weight lift as he shook Trey’s hand. “Thanks, man. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

  “Hey, what are families for?”

  ***

  Erika tried to slip in to the room without waking Anna, but her roommate was lying in bed watching TV. Jeff had wanted to share her room, but she wasn’t comfortable with that arrangement, given the fact her ex was sleeping just down the hall.

  “Are you okay?” Anna asked, looking up at her.

  “I don’t know,” she said honestly, sinking down on the edge of her bed. “Evan and I had a long talk. He’s ready to move on.”

  “I find that hard to believe. Anyone can see that he’s still in love with you.”

  “I don’t think that’s the issue,” Erika said, staring blankly at the screen. “We realize we could never be happy together. We grew so far apart during the last year or two of our relationship. We started wanting different things out of life.”

  Anna turned the TV off and turned toward her, curling up in the fetal position with the down duvet tucked under her chin. “I know what you mean. I’m beginning to wonder whether Tom and I are on different paths as well.”

  Erika was surprised to hear Anna questioning her relationship with her fiancée. They’d been together for several years, and when he hadn’t accompanied her to family functions recently, Erika just assumed he was busy with his residency at the hospital.

  “Are you guys having problems?” Erika asked, kicking off her sandals and moving to the center of the bed. “Is that why he didn’t come to the wedding?”

  “No, he couldn’t get away from work. We’re not really having problems, it’s just…” She bit her lip, as though trying to find the words to express her confusion. “He’s fielding offers from hospitals in other states. I knew relocating was a possibility when he proposed and I thought I was okay with it, but now…”

  “You’re not so sure?”

  “Yeah, is that bad? I mean, I made a promise to him. I should be willing to honor that, right?”

  Erika smiled at her friend. “Honey, you have to do what feels right to you. If going with Tom doesn’t feel like the right call, don’t do it.”

  She rolled onto her back and covered her eyes with her forearm. “I’ve just invested so much time and energy in this relationship. I can’t imagine starting all over again with someone new.”

  “I know what you mean,” Erika said, tucking her knees under her chin as she curled her arms around her legs. “That’s why it took me so long to end things with Evan. Well… that, and I was still in love with him.”

  Anna lifted her arm to look at her friend. “That night at Jimmy’s, you told Evan you’d fallen out of love with him a long time ago. That wasn’t true?”

  “No.” She pressed her cheek against her knee, letting her hair fall over her face. “I didn’t know what else to say to get him to back off, so I said the only thing I could think of to make him believe it was really over.”

  “I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been on both of you. Tom and I have been together half as long as you and Evan were, and I know breaking up with him would leave a huge void in my life.”

  Erika fell on her pillow, facing Anna. “More like a gaping hollow that seems to get deeper every day.”

  “Really?” Anna propped her head in her hand, resting her elbow on the pillow. “So what they say about time healing is just B.S., huh?”

  “Yeah, I guess it is.” Erika rolled on to her back, not wanting her friend to see the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

  “So, there’s nothing between you and Jeff?”

  “No. I mean, we’ve gone out a few times, but it’s never gone further than a good-night kiss on my doorstep. He’s a nice guy, but he’s not Evan. I just want someone who’ll make me feel the way he did, you know?” She smiled and pressed a hand to her stomach. “Someone who’ll give me butterflies… who can turn me inside out with one kiss…” She sighed, tucking her hand under her head. “Is that too much to ask for?”

  Anna laughed. “You’re asking the wrong person. I’ve never found anyone who makes me feel like that.”

  Erika rolled over, facing Anna. “Seriously? Why did you agree to marry Tom if he doesn’t make you feel that way?”

  “I do love and respect him. We seem compatible. He’s a good friend who’s always there to support me when I need someone to lean on. I guess I thought that would be enough.” She paused. “Do you think I’m settling? I mean, do you think there’s a guy out there who could make me feel the way Evan made you feel?”

  “I’m sure there is. If my relationship with Evan taught me anything, it’s that you should never settle for less than you deserve. You deserve a man who’s going to be your best friend and an incredible lover. Someone who’s going to love you no matter what and put you first. We all deserve that, An.”

  “Yeah, but what if we waste our whole lives searching and never find it? Then we wind up alone.”

  Erika knew she was too young to start fixating on that possibility, but her biological clock was telling her it was time to face reality. In four short years, her risk of complications during pregnancy increased significantly. She knew many women had healthy babies well into their forties, but statistics made the prospect more daunting.

  “I’ve thought about that,” Erika conceded. “A lot, actually.”

  “Maybe you and Evan could find a way to make it work.”

  “Believe me, if there had been a way, we would have found it while we were together.” She thought back to all the sleepless nights while he traveled. The times she’d prepared his favorite dinner and set the scene with candles and music, only to fall asleep on the couch before he came home. The last minute cancellations when she was all dressed up and ready to go out. She hadn’t felt like a priority in his life for a long time, and that hurt even more than not being a part of his life at all.

  “I could never go back to the way things were. It’s for the best… him deciding it’s time to move on.” The little voice in her head may call her a liar, but her lacerated heart knew it was true.

  Chapter Nine

  Evan watched his friends repeat their wedding vows and his eyes drifted to Erika, standing across the aisle from him, behind the bride. She looked stunning in a soft coral floor-length gown that fluttered in the gentle tropical breeze. Her
hair was swept off of her neck and secured with sparkling, sporadically placed pins. Her make-up was flawless, except for the subtle tear tracks on her cheeks. She took his breath away.

  He could imagine them standing front and center with her wearing a white gown, her hands in his, promising to love him forever. He wanted that with a ferocity that made his stomach twist painfully. He only hoped it wasn’t too late.

  As the officiant pronounced the happy couple husband and wife, the wedding party linked arms and descended the platform, making their way down the long white runner to the cheers and tears of the guests lining the lawn.

  Erika looked up at him and smiled before linking her arm through his, and he ached to brush away the tear streaking her cheek. He had been the cause of too much sadness in her life, and he would do anything to erase the past two years from both of their memories. He wanted to go back to a time when they had fun together, when they made each other laugh and still believed they were meant to be together.

  They followed Dom and Lena into the private room the resort staff had decorated for the occasion. Evan had to admit it was stunning, everything he would have wanted to give Erika on their wedding day.

  He led her to the head table and Evan noted he and Erika were seated beside each other instead of at opposite sides of the head table. He caught Dominic’s eye and his best friend winked to let him know he’d orchestrated the seating arrangements.

  “Everything looks so beautiful,” Erika whispered.

  Evan nodded in agreement as everyone stood to watch Dom and Lena share their first dance as husband and wife.

  “They look so happy,” she said, reaching for a napkin to dab at the tears streaming down her face. She laughed as she waved a hand in front of her face. “I don’t know what it is about weddings that makes me cry.”

  He settled his hand on her lower back and smiled. “You’re a romantic. You want to believe in the fairy tale ending.” When she continued to stare straight ahead, watching their friends circle the dance floor, he knew his words hurt her. “I’m sorry. Somewhere along the way, I forgot how important that was to you.”

  She shook her head, refusing to look at him. “It’s ancient history, Evan.”

  The Master of Ceremony invited the rest of the bridal party to join them on the dance floor and Evan took Erika’s hand, leading her toward the center of the floor.

  She settled into his arms effortlessly and he felt the tension melt away as she rested her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh. They danced for several minutes without speaking before he said, “Do you ever wish we’d had a night like this?”

  Tipping her head back to look at him, she said, “I used to plan everything about our wedding.” She smiled. “I’d even tear pictures out of bridal magazines and paste them in a scrapbook.”

  His heart twisted at the thought of her indulging her fantasies that way. How could I have been so clueless? “Do you still have that scrapbook?”

  She shrugged as a pink stain covered her cheeks. “It’s probably buried at the bottom of one of the boxes in my basement. I haven’t looked at it in a long time.” She met his eyes. “It was just too painful.”

  The raw emotion he saw in her tear-filled eyes left him breathless. Needing to change the subject before he made a fool of himself, he said, “So, how does it feel bein’ a homeowner?”

  “I like it.” She lowered her gaze to his chest. “It’s a nice little house. I like having my own space and the freedom to plant flowers. I have a fenced-in backyard, so I have a place to play fetch with Chloe when I don’t feel like taking her to the dog park.”

  She’d always felt so confined living in his luxury condo that didn’t allow pets. She wanted a backyard, a garden, a dog to keep her company, but he insisted it was the wrong time to sell. He told her to wait a year or two until the market had recovered. Little did he know their relationship wouldn’t survive that long.

  “You ever take her to that dog park across from your clinic?” If he wanted to prove to her that her life was perfectly compatible with the life he intended to build for himself, he had to know what her habits were.

  “Sometimes. There’s a little park around the corner from my house. We go there a lot too.”

  “I’ve been thinkin’ it’s time for me to get out of that condo. In fact, I was talkin’ to Sela about my options just yesterday. She’s got a couple of buyers who have been lookin’ for units in my buildin’, so she doesn’t think it’ll be a tough sell.”

  “Are you sure you’re ready to own a home?” she asked. “I mean, given how much you travel?”

  “I’m gonna be makin’ some changes in my life. Like I said the other day, it’s time for me to start slowin’ down, give more attention to other areas of my life.”

  She stiffened in his arms. “Right, like finding a wife and having a couple of babies. I remember you saying something about that. I’m sorry, but I’ll have to see that to believe it.”

  Erika had every right to question him, which was why he had no intention of forcing the issue. He could claim he was willing to change, but until she saw it with her own eyes, her heart would never allow her to believe he was sincere.

  “You wanna help me find a dog when we get back home?” he asked, knowing he had to tread carefully so he didn’t scare her away. “I’d really like to adopt a rescue, but I know they can have a lot of issues that I’m not equipped to deal with. I thought it would help to have someone with me who knows what to look for.”

  She frowned. “You’re not allowed to have dogs in your building.”

  Evan smiled. “I already told you, I don’t intend to stay in that buildin’. I’m buyin’ a house, remember?”

  “Yeah, but these things take time. You have to sell your place, find something else, pack, arrange the movers…”

  He laughed. “Sweetheart, money has a way of expediting the time table to suit you. If I find somethin’ I like, I’ll make an offer contingent on an immediate closin’. If I like their furniture, I’ll buy it. If not, I’ll get an interior designer to furnish the place a.s.a.p.”

  “What if you can’t sell your place right away?”

  He lifted a shoulder. “It sits empty until it does sell. No big deal.”

  “I’d forgotten how easy it is for you to make things happen when you make up your mind about something.”

  “I’ve had a lot of practice makin’ things happen.” He tightened his grip around her waist as he struggled with the urge to kiss her glossy lips. He told himself he just had to be patient and wait for her to fall in love with him all over again.

  ***

  The plane was dark and quiet as everyone settled in to get some sleep, listen to music, or watch TV on the return flight.

  Erika leaned over and caught Marisa’s eye. They shared a smile before Marisa snuck past her sleeping husband to make her way into the aisle.“I can’t sleep. How about you?”

  “No,” Erika said, smiling. “I’m too wound up to sleep.”

  “Why don’t we venture into the back so we don’t disturb anyone? Things were kind of hectic this week. We didn’t get much of a chance to catch up.”

  “I’d love that,” Erika said, standing up. Marisa had been a second mother to her during the years she’d spent with Evan. When they broke up, she’d missed his family almost as much as she missed him.

  Settling into a pair of oversized seats a few aisles behind the other passengers, Marisa asked, “So how have you been? Really?”

  Erika knew where this was going, but since Marisa’s concern was coming from a place of love, she didn’t resent it. “I’ve been okay, busy with work.”

  “You and Jeff… is it serious?”

  Marisa had never been subtle, especially when it came to her children and their happiness, so Erika wasn’t surprised by the direct question. “No, it’s not. In fact, I’m thinking this is probably the end of the road for us. It’s been tense between us this week and things at work aren’t going well either. He has his o
wn ideas about how I should run the clinic and I don’t share his vision.”

  “Hmm,” Marisa said, glancing at the man in question. “Interesting. I can’t say I’m surprised. He seems a little over-bearing.” She chuckled. “Of course, my husband and sons seem to share that trait, so I can’t very well condemn him.”

  Evan was definitely a man used to getting what he wanted, but for reasons Erika couldn’t explain, his attitude didn’t seem to bother her as much as Jeff’s did. Perhaps when you loved someone as much as she loved Evan it was easier to look past their faults.

  “How has it been for you guys since Luc retired? It must have taken some getting used to, having him around all time?” Luc and Marisa were as close as any couple Erika knew, but she could say the same for her own parents and retirement had been an adjustment for them.

  “It’s been great.” She laughed. “Most days. That’s not to say we don’t get on each other’s nerves from time to time.”

  “That’s what married life is all about, right? Taking the good with the bad.”

  “Yes, it is,” Marisa said, looking at Erika. “It’s not always going to be everything you hoped it would be, but if the good outweighs the bad it’s usually worth it to keep fighting.”

  Erika knew Marisa wasn’t referring to herself and Luc anymore. “I guess you’re right.”

  “Were things really that bad between you and Evan?” Marisa asked, quietly. “That you were willing to just walk away and give up the fight?”

  Erika couldn’t say anything at first. The emotion welling up in her throat seemed to make speech impossible, but once she was able to pull herself together, she said, “You don’t know how hard it was.”

  “Yes, I do,” Marisa said, squeezing Erika’s hand. “Believe me, I know better than anyone. Luc was a workaholic when we met. His career was the only thing that mattered to him.”

  Shifting in her seat to face Marisa, Erika asked, “How did you handle that?”

 

‹ Prev