“I think we have to face facts,” Evan said, placing the platter in the middle of the large maple table. “Our dogs are in love.”
She laughed, but she had to admit she was happy their dogs gave them an excuse to spend more time together. “Chloe has never been in love before,” she said, sliding into the seat he held for her. “I hope Skipper will be gentle with her heart.”
Evan walked to the stove to retrieve the baked potatoes from the warming rack. “I’ll have a talk with him about it. I’ve heard he’s been flirting with a standard poodle named Snickers, but don’t worry, I think he’s just doing that to make Chloe jealous.”
She giggled as he set the potatoes on the table and went back to get the salad from the fridge. “You’re crazy.”
“Hey, you need to know that he’s puttin’ his heart on the line here, too.” He brought the salad back to the table with two glass containers filled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. “I’ve seen the way Chloe looks at that Schnauzer. What’s his name again, Buster?” Evan rolled his eyes. “What kind of name is that for a dog… Buster?”
Chloe perked her head up at the mention of her friend’s name, as though she was looking for him.
Evan pointed at the dog. “I know your type, Chloe. You think you’re so cute, prancin’ around like your mommy owns the place. But I’ve got my eye on you. If you think I’m gonna let you break Skip’s heart the way your mommy broke mine, you’ve got another thing comin’.”
Erika’s smile faded away. “You weren’t the only one who walked away from our relationship with a broken heart, Evan. Walking out that door was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.” She decided it was time to set her pride aside and let him know how much he’d hurt her. “I used to cry myself to sleep every night.”
“Look,” he said, holding his hand up, “I was jokin’ about the dogs. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“I know, but you need to know…” She smoothed out the napkin in her lap. “I felt so pathetic, some of the things I had to do to get your attention. The sexy lingerie, your favorite bottle of wine…” She cringed. “I even went in to a sex shop to try and find toys I thought you might like.” Her face burned, but she was determined to continue. “You have no idea what it did to me, knowing you didn’t want to make love to me anymore.”
“Are you serious?” he asked, sliding his chair back. “I always thought you were sexier than hell, baby.” He raked his hands through his hair. “Hell, I used to throw back the covers when I rolled in after midnight and I’d catch a glimpse of those sexy little negligees you used to wear to bed. I felt like shit knowin’ I was too tired to give you what you needed. I knew I was failin’ you, but…”
“You were right,” she said, trying to distract herself with food. “We don’t have to get in to this. It won’t change anything.”
“It might change the way you feel about yourself,” he said quietly.
Acknowledging how much those last few months impacted her self-esteem. She didn’t feel beautiful or desirable anymore because the man she loved barely spared her a second glance. Even when she pulled out all the stops to get him to notice her, he didn’t. “I swore I’d never put myself through that again.”
“Awww, baby,” he said, getting up and reaching for her hand. Pulling her into his arms, he said, “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. I was a jackass for not seein’ what I was doin’ to you.”
That was one of the lowest times in her life. She went from being outgoing and confident to introverted and uncertain. It took months for her to start feeling like herself again. “I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known,” he said, framing her face with his large hands. “Every damn thing about you turns me on,” he whispered, nudging her with his arousal to prove his point. “I still think about you all the time. When I’m in a meetin’, I get this image of you in my head, wearin’ one of those sexy little numbers that turned me inside out, and my concentration is shot to hell.”
His words wrapped around her, drawing her in, making her lose focus on everything except the sound of his voice. She tipped her head back and he moved in to kiss her neck, just as she hoped he would.
“You are so hot...” He eased her sweater over her head and tossed it to the ground. Moving his lips over her shoulders, the swell of her breasts, he licked and kissed, teasing her until she feared she might be reduced to a gooey puddle at his feet.
“Please,” she whimpered.
He lifted his head and their eyes locked. “You want me to take you upstairs?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t think about the consequences. The only thing that mattered was letting him satisfy the deep ache in her core.
He swung her up into his arms, making it seem effortless.
“The food,” she whispered, settling into his arms.
“The hell with it.” He beckoned the dogs, who got up and followed them out of the room. “They can hang out downstairs for a while.” Evan opened the door to the basement and Chloe followed Skipper down the winding staircase.
Chapter Thirteen
Evan stared down at Erika. She was naked, in his bed, writhing and begging for his touch, and he knew he would never make the mistake of taking her love for granted again.
He wanted to say so much, but he was afraid of saying the wrong thing and giving her reason to doubt him, so he said nothing. If he confessed the lengths he’d gone to just to get her back, she may be appalled, but he couldn’t feel remorse when she lay there with a look that told him all he needed to know about their future. The truth was in her eyes. She was still in love with him.
“Come here,” she whispered, beckoning him.
Evan was smart enough to know that when the universe aligned to answer your prayers, you didn’t stop to ask why. You simply hit your knees to give thanks, which is exactly what he intended to do… all night long… or until she couldn’t stand it another second.
Spreading her legs, he smiled when she exposed her anticipation with a gasp.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
With a wicked gleam in his eye, he kissed a path up the inside of her leg. “I think that’s pretty obvious, darlin’.”
“You don’t have to-”
“Oh yes, I do,” he whispered. “I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.” Licking her inner thighs, he felt the tremble in her legs, and he knew she would go off with the slightest stimulation. Tasting her was like sipping a priceless liqueur; he wanted to savor the unique flavor rather than downing it in one shot.
“Oh God,” she cried, fisting the sheets. “Ev… I…”
He’d dimmed the lights instead of turning them off completely and the look etched on her face convinced him he’d made the right call. He didn’t want to lose a second of this moment to a blanket of darkness. Her ecstasy was spectacular, even more so because he’d been the one to deliver her to this state of nirvana.
Every subtle stroke of his tongue took her higher and drew him in deeper until the only thing he heard was the echo of her cries. She surrounded him: her skin on his, her scent making him hungry for more, her body trembling with a thirst he ached to quench.
Her core was pulsing as her body trembled with the impact of her release. “I can’t…” She pushed against his shoulders. “Stop! I can’t take anymore.”
When he was satisfied the aftershocks had faded away, he inched up her body, licking a path to her mouth.
While indulging in a frenzied kiss, she wrapped her legs around him, locking her ankles behind his back.
He’d shed his clothes seconds after they entered the room, so the only barrier between them was his loose grip on sanity. “Wait,” he groaned, reaching into his nightstand.
“It’s okay,” she said, reaching for his hand. “My pills are in my purse. I didn’t want to take any chances after last time.”
Evan smiled. “You thought we might end up here?”
“I… uh…”<
br />
Knowing she still trusted him enough to let him love her without the safeguard of added protection fortified his belief that he was slowly emerging from the nightmare he’d been living for the past year.
“No regrets,” he whispered in her ear as her body opened for him. “Not like last time.” He buried his face in the crook of her neck as his body tried to adjust to this newfound state of bliss.
“My eyes are wide open this time,” she said, raking her nails up his back. “I don’t have this fantasy of the man I wish you were. I know who you are and I’m still here. In your bed.” She gripped him mercilessly, making him groan.
Her words filtered in and out of his head. Evan knew he should set her straight about the man he was today, but his body and brain were in a battle for supremacy until all of his thoughts centered on the light at the end of the tunnel delivering him to paradise.
Another orgasm tore through her, and as soon as he felt the effect, his control snapped. Riding it out, he took her mouth, absorbing her moans as he kissed her until they both craved their next breath.
He bore the burden of most of his weight on his elbows until he found the strength to roll over and pull her into his arms.
Neither of them said a word until their breathing returned to normal.
She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “You haven’t made love to me like that in years.”
He was so stunned, he didn’t know how to respond. When he finally found his voice, he asked, “What’re you talkin’ about?”
“You made love to me like I was the only thing on your mind. That hasn’t happened in a long, long time. Even the last time, you were distracted. Your mind was somewhere else.”
“Yeah, I was tryin’ to figure out how the hell I was gonna keep you in my bed,” he grumbled.
She looked up at him, a smile teasing her lips. “Seriously? That’s what you were thinking about?”
“Sure. What else would I have been thinkin’ about?” he asked, letting his fingers slide through her hair.
“I don’t know,” she said, lifting a shoulder. “I figured you had a lot going on at work.”
He pulled back to look her in the eye, trying to gauge whether she was serious. “You really thought that’s what I was thinkin’ about when we were makin’ love that night?”
She sighed as she rolled on to her back and pulled the sheet up to cover her breasts. “It wouldn’t be the first time, Evan.”
He turned on to his side, propping his elbow on the pillow with his head in his hand. “You knew how much I wanted you back. Our break up damn near destroyed me. Don’t you think I’ve learned from my mistakes?” He held his breath, waiting for her response, knowing their whole future hung in the balance.
“I want to believe we’ve both grown,” she said, reaching up to touch his face. “I hope I’m mature enough to be more understanding, and I want to believe you’ve figured out how to have a healthy balance…”
He knew her well enough to finish her sentences and he had no doubt ‘but’ would be the next word she uttered, effectively pulling the rug out from under him. “Go on.”
“It’s too soon to tell, isn’t it?” She ran the pad of her thumb over his bottom lip. “We need to get to know each other all over again.”
At least she was giving him an opening, which was more than he could have hoped for a few months ago. “Just so we’re clear… getting to know each other again involves more of this, right?” Gesturing between the two of them, he smiled.
She slapped his face playfully and laughed. “I think that’s a safe assumption. I mean, we have to know that we’re sexually compatible if this relationship has a prayer of going the distance, right?”
“I want that more than anything,” he said, holding her hand against his face after he kissed her palm. “Whatever it takes to make this work, I’m willin’ to do it, baby.”
She pulled him down in to her arms, hugging him fiercely. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear.”
***
Erika curled up under the blankets as Evan went downstairs to let the dogs out and bring a tray of food up. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt this content. Probably not since the beginning of their relationship when they were young and in love and were still naïve enough to believe that would be enough to help them weather any storm. She hadn’t been that starry-eyed girl for years, but she hated to think life had made her too cynical to believe second chances were possible.
She thought of her charity, Second Chance, and smiled. If those animals deserved a second chance at happiness, so did she and Evan.
“They’re down for the count,” Evan said, nudging the door open with his shoulder. “Curled up together, lookin’ like they’re never gonna move.”
“I can’t say I blame them,” she said, sitting up to accept the tray he offered. It contained a collection of her favorite cheeses, spreads, fruit, and crackers. Evidently he’d planned ahead.
“I’m just gonna build a fire,” he said, going over to the fireplace tucked in to the corner of the room.
She watched the muscles in his back flex as he built the fire, barely able to suppress the sigh of admiration. The sight of him wearing low-slung black sweats and no shirt was enough to make her mouth water. Popping a grape in to her mouth, she asked, “What made you decide on this place?”
He looked at her over his shoulder, concern drawing his dark eyebrows together. “You don’t like it?”
“It’s gorgeous. I love it. It’s just not what I expected.” She popped a cracker in her mouth and chewed carefully, plotting her explanation. She didn’t want to ruin this perfect moment by making him defensive. “It’s just that I know how much you loved your penthouse. Whenever I talked about buying a place in the country, you always said you liked the city too much. It was close to the office and…” He stood up and one look at his rippling chest made her lose her train of thought.
“This year gave me a lot of time to think about what’s important. Now I love the commute to the office. It gives me a chance to think about things besides work.” He sat down on the bed beside her and grabbed a small stem of grapes from the tray. “Besides, Skip has room to run out here, which is important, right?”
“I love that you’re making him a priority.” She only hoped it wasn’t solely for her benefit. If things didn’t work out between them, Evan still had to care for the dog he’d rescued, and she wanted to believe he would give Skipper the best possible life, with or without her around.
He popped a grape into his mouth and reached for one of the wine glasses. “I’m not gonna lie, I was lonely as hell before I got Skip. That’s part of the reason I decided to adopt a dog. I needed someone to greet me when I walked through the door, someone who would give a damn whether I stayed at the office all hours. He gives me a reason to come home, to go outside and get some fresh air…” He smiled when she looked up at him. “He reminds me to slow down and take time out just to have a little fun once in a while. I really needed that.”
“I have to admit, you really seem to be bonding with him.”
“It’s easy to love a dog. I can see why you’re so committed to your job and your charitable work. They’re so loving and loyal, yet they don’t have a voice to tell you how they feel. They can show you, every day, and in a lot of ways, that makes things a hell of a lot less complicated.”
She shifted the tray to his legs so she could turn to face him. “Words have a way of complicating things sometimes, don’t they?”
“Yeah, they do.” He sipped his wine before saying, “Sometimes we say things we don’t mean and hurt the people we love without intending to. I did that a lot towards the end of our relationship.”
She smiled. “Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. I held you solely responsible for our break up and the truth is you weren’t.”
“I let Titan get in the way-”
“Throughout our relationship, I let other things get in the way too. Getting through sc
hool was demanding. Hell, it was grueling at times, but you never complained when I canceled a date to study or I was too tired to make love because I had an important assignment due. You simply kissed me good-night and left me alone to do my thing because you realized how important it was for me to become the best vet I could be.” She lowered her head, almost ashamed to look him in the eye. “I lost sight of how much you sacrificed to let me have my dream, and I’m sorry about that.”
He put his glass on the tray and set it on the oversized night table beside the bed before pulling her into his arms. “I never blamed you, baby. It was all me. We were at a time in our lives when we should have been plannin’ for the future… the weddin’… kids… the house…” He sighed. “I should have made that a priority because I knew how important it was to you, but I didn’t.”
She ran her hand over his chest, lost in her own thoughts. Their past would always be a part of their relationship, but she didn’t want to let the bad times define it anymore. “Why did you make all these changes in your life now?”
She needed to know that he would have done this with or without her. If he was changing just to make her happy, she knew it would be short-lived and he would eventually resent her. She wanted to be free to love the man he was today, not the man he was trying to become for her benefit.
He hesitated a long time before he said, “I told you in the Bahamas I was ready to make some changes.”
She looked up, hoping to find the truth in his eyes. “Would you have done all of this with or without me? Cut back on your work, bought the house in the country, adopted the dog…” She desperately wanted to hear him say he would have. She didn’t want a martyr who felt he had to sacrifice his own happiness for hers. She needed a life partner who shared her idea of happiness. If they didn’t have the same vision for the future, this relationship didn’t have a prayer of lasting, and she couldn’t stand the thought of setting herself up to re-live the heartbreak of losing him all over again.
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