by Bri Stone
We make our plates and head to the dining room, but I stop dad on the way back in to get the glasses.
“Dad, what’s up with you and Declan?” I try to get him to look at me seriously, but he is six feet six, and I just look funny trying to be serious with him.
“Nothing.” His chuckle is deep and rumbles.
I laugh and nudge his shoulder, “Dad,” I whine, “I’m serious. Why are you so mean to him?”
“I’m not.” His brows furrow together and I poke his beard to get him to talk. “It’s nothing. We had a talk.”
“A talk? You mean you threatened him.” I scowl. Dad just laughs and pulls me into a bear grip hug.
“No, baby girl, I did not. We’re all good now. So, can I go eat?”
I pull back and smile up at him. I nod with a smile and he kisses my nose like he has always done since I was a kid.
Chapter Twenty-Four: Perrie
“YOU KNOW, NETTIE WOULD have loved to see you all here.” Dad raises his glass and smiles sadly.
“Yeah, she would have.” Clem agrees, and Declan kisses her temple. I don’t know everything about him, I just know he and his parents are estranged. Clem hasn’t even met them.
“I think she would have done the cranberry sauce better though.” I crack a small smile.
Thom grips my knee softly, his thumb running over my knee. On the other side of me, Melinda nudges my shoulder.
She has been very supportive even though I haven’t told her the whole story about my mom. She knows the basics, but she has never pried and it’s like we just have some silent understanding of not wanting to divulge in our pasts.
“True.” Dad agrees. Clem and I dramatically feign to be hurt.
We exchange conversation for a little while. Declan tells a story about the bad turbulence he had when he was landing, and dad is really into the story too. Maybe he earned some props, landing a plane in the middle of a wind storm. That’s all Houston gets; unpredictable weather.
“Still up for Target?” Clem asks me as we start cleaning up.
The men are nice enough to wash the dishes, and it’s quite funny watching their assembly line of wash, dry, and put away.
“Yeah. I hope to find those headphones at a good price. I have dad’s card though.” I have my job with the ME, but dad still helps a lot. I feel a little spoiled sometimes, but he says someone must spend the money since he is always at sea.
“Headphones?” She makes a face. I rest my face against the back of the couch as I laugh. We are sitting on the floor behind the couch, something we have just always done.
“Yes. I need a new pair of studio headphones.”
“Perrie is picking up a DJ job at the rooftop grill.” Melinda jokes.
“Humph. Well, I’m going for the drama.” She purses her lips.
I poke them just to annoy her, and we start play fighting for a few seconds. I have always been jealous of her lips since she got them filled years ago. Though mine were never as thin as hers were before.
“Right. You should wear your uniform. Maybe we’ll get an extra discount, or people will just be afraid of you.” I giggle.
Clem shakes her head and laughs. “I definitely can’t do that.” We laugh together.
“Remember when you told me I was a dumb bitch for not going out with Thom?” I nearly cringe at the memory from years ago.
“Really?” Melinda asks me, I fill her in on it briefly.
“Yes.” She sips the last of her wine and gives me a pointed look.
“Thanks for that.” I look at Thom from our spot on the floor.
Him and my dad are laughing over something, and I realize that it’s Declan telling a joke. Just seeing Thom happy and here with my family is...swelling. That this beautiful man, who wears khakis and a Henley sweater better than anyone else, who has the kindest heart and the brightest soul, wants me. Loves me; enough to have waited for me for so long.
“You really love him.” She states.
“Yeah,” with a breathless sigh I swallow back my inner fears, “I just hope I don’t hurt him.”
“Bathroom break.” Melinda skips away; either she doesn’t want to be part of the conversation, or thinks it is a private thing. Either way, I wouldn’t mind having her around.
“What do you mean?” Clem scoots closer. I literally smell her put her psychology hat on.
“I don’t know. I just feel...something.” I blink hard and take a deep breath. My shoulders tense and I look at Clem for grounding.
“I know what you mean. It will be fine. Long distance is hard, but you guys can make it work. Not without some compromises though.”
“Yeah. How often do you see Declan?”
“Depends. But we never go over two weeks without seeing each other. It’s hard at times but I think work keeps us busy enough until it gets tough. But of course, when I finally do see him, we can hardly get out of bed!” She laughs.
“Oh, my goodness...really? He doesn’t really look the type.” I half-laugh.
“Are you kidding?” Her eyes narrow and her chuckle is dark, “Declan is an Irish sex god.” She whispers.
“Oh god.” I groan. Clem and I talk about nearly everything and anything, but with Declan standing a few feet away, it’s weird.
“What? Though Thom looks like he is pretty good too.” She nudges my arm with her devilish grin.
I shrug like I tell no secrets. “You have no idea. But Declan? Seriously?”
I look at him and I just don’t see it. He is sexy in that tall and dark way. His hair is a deep brown and his eyes a cold blue, his muscles are obvious, and his gait is simple but powerful.
“Yeah. Dominant and rough.”
I have to laugh so loud they all turn. Then they go back to what they’re doing. “You like that? I’m so shocked.” I look at my sister like I don’t know her.
“Eh, not until I met him.”
“Wow. Okay.” I laugh.
Clem and I go back and forth with useless banter until the guys are finished. Dad says he is too old to be up this late, and retreats to his bedroom. Even Declan calls it a night and goes to Clem’s room. Thom isn’t a shopping person, so he stays behind too.
“Don’t start any fights.” Thom winks at me. I kiss him goodbye and smile.
“I won’t.”
Chapter Twenty-Five: Perrie
THIS IS WHERE OUR LIVES change and everything we have worked for over the past eight years, rears its head.
This happens the third Friday of March, every year; but this is the first time I have anything to do with it.
It is riveting and exciting, and I know for a fact that I am—or have, contributed to society in some way. And that is extremely scary for me to grasp. I have been shaking since yesterday. Thom couldn’t even get me off last night, and that is saying a lot.
It isn’t that I am necessarily afraid of med school being over and all, it is more that I am afraid of...ugh, moving on. Again. The familiarity of that feeling comes barreling back down on me as I mess up my eye makeup for the nineteenth time.
“Damnit!” My shout surprises even myself as I chuck my eye pencil at the mirror.
“Whoa!” Thom appears behind me. He is half dressed in his blue dress shirt—Thom always gets dressed on the top first. It is so weird, and it never made sense to me, but seeing it now just makes me laugh.
It only relieves an inch of the tension in my shoulders. His gaze peers into mine through the mirror as he feathers kisses on my neck.
“What’s wrong? Hmm?”
I look back at him in the mirror. “I don’t know. That’s the thing. I’ve just been so...keyed up and I have no idea why.”
“Yeah. I noticed. Last night especially.” He grins but I only grow mortified as I hide my face in my hands.
“Ugh. I’m sorry. Don’t ever remind me about that.”
He chuckles and nips on my ear. “It’s fine, baby. It’s all fine. Match day is a big deal.”
“But you’re fine!” I laugh
with no humor at him.
I pull my face from my hands and see him laughing at me. I nudge his knee, but he barely moves. I lean back in the vanity seat and shake my head at him.
“Okay, I’ll stop. Look, we don’t even have to go to this thing if you don’t want to. Hell, the more I look at you the more I just want to stay here.”
I watch his gaze pass over me and feel it on my chest. My dress has thin straps, so I put on a strapless bra on. The lace is barely there, and I can see my nipples through the sheer cups; Thom obviously does too.
“No, I want to go. I just want to breathe fully and get my eyeliner right.” I giggle once, but I don’t feel it.
“You will. Look, close your eyes.”
I give him a funny look.
“Close your eyes!” He insists.
I sigh and close them. I focus on our breathing and try not to smile when Thom’s hand slides up my leg. I fail.
“Just imagine we have already seen our matches. And we know where we will be, come July. And it will all be okay. We’ll be fine.”
I swallow, my throat is like sandpaper because he somehow knew why I was acting this way. In three months we well be separated. In three months, everything between us will be different. It grips my heart in a vice and I blink back tears. When our eyes meet, a deep understand passes through and I cock my head at Thom.
I turn quickly, and we topple into a hug. “You’re so perfect.” I murmur into his neck and kiss his jaw; his permanent stubble tickles me. I kiss him over and over until I reach his lips and he smiles through the kiss. His tongue presses against mine and my entire body seems to flutter away. All that is left is my soul entwined with his.
His warm hands grip my waist and slide down to my hips as he pulls me closer to him. I feel his cock twitch and swell against my hip and I groan into the kiss. I am forced to pull away with a heavy, breathless sigh.
“Fuck. We can’t be late.” I bite my lip and groan as I pull away from him. “And Melinda will be here soon.” I add as I sit back down.
“Yeah. I almost forgot about her.” Thom rubs his hair back and steps of with a wry smile as he adjusts himself in his boxers and disappears into the closet.
I smile down at my makeup collection, feeling that pressure literally lift off my chest and shoulders. My makeup isn’t that exciting; Melinda has helped me grow my collection a bit and oh—I should just wait for her, so she can just do my makeup for me.
I get up and go into the kitchen for a cup of tea. I lean on the back counter and watch the show we left playing, it takes me a few sips to realize that it’s Law and Order. I hear Thom shuffle around the corner, fully dressed in his dark slacks and light blue shirt. He has grown his hair out a little bit, so it art fully falls to the side in that effortlessly tussled way. He pauses mid stride, flashes his crooked smile, and continues forward.
“Seriously, you can’t walk around like that babe.” He reaches in the cabinet above me for a water bottle.
“It’s my apartment. I can do what I want.” I smirk.
His lips curl around the bottle and he pauses: “Well, I pay the rent so technically...”
I smack him, and he reaches for me laughing, spinning me around and pinning my arms by my side so I can’t hit him again.
“Okay! I need to put clothes on before Melinda comes.” I say through my laughs. He releases me just as there is a knock at the door.
“Fuck. It’s here.”
“YOU LOOK AMAZING.” I look Melinda over. Her midnight blue dress is professional and sexy all at the same time. I don’t know how she even managed that.
“Thanks...you look like you aren’t ready.” She laughs, gesturing to my undergarments.
“Oh, yeah.”
I hear Thom laugh in the background as I go to put my dress on. Melinda and I meet at my vanity.
“I was hoping you could do my makeup.” I sit down and grin at her.
“Uhm, I really don’t know how to work with white skin.” She laughs.
“It’s the same, just different color. Please? My hands are literally shaking.” An uneasy laugh left me.
“Ugh, fine Perrie.”
I smile in appreciation and let her work her magic as I just relax. We tried to have a conversation about the whole match day deciding my future with Thom thing, but he was hovering around in the closet fixing his tie, and then his shoes, and then annoying Melinda.
“Your dad is coming right?” Melinda asked me.
“I think. He might not have docked in time, so I told him not to rush if he didn’t.” I answer.
“Cool.”
She starts on my concealer and then foundation. Thom starts giving us five-minute warnings, we have twenty left so I’m not worried.
“When we were at Thanksgiving...I don’t know, I feel like you always left when Clem and I started talking about Thom. Or feelings.” I chuck.
“Eh...it was nothing. I thought you guys just needed sister time.” She lies.
I open my eyes and scowl at her. She pauses with the lip liner over my lip. She rolls her eyes when she realizes I am not dropping it.
“There was a man before, I just...you and Thom remind me of us.” She leans back on the counter in front of me. She tries to just go back to my makeup, but I grab her hand and stop her. She sighs, “It was bad. What I did was bad, and...I miss him. But it’s a long story and I just don’t want to tell you and then lose you as a friend.”
I almost laugh at how ridiculous it sounds, but I remember being in that same place after Trevor. So, I just let her hand go and nod. “Okay. But whenever you do want to talk about it, I’m here and you could never lose me as a friend.” I purse my lips, so she can do them.
“Okay. I know.”
“Ten minutes!” Thom’s voice bellows through the living room.
Melinda nearly growls. “Ugh. He really knows how to ruin a moment.”
Chapter Twenty-Six: Thom
“WHAT IF I’M STRANDED and I need help?”
“Nope. I am officially cutting you off.”
I stare back at Stan and scowl. He just stares back, holding back a laugh.
“I’m pretty shocked. This is ridiculous.”
He rolls his eyes. “Thom, you are already my walking investment.” I interrupt him with a laugh. He continues: “I mean there’s college and medical school, then this apartment.” I roll my eyes with as much drama as possible. Of course, I know he’s right. I am just pulling his leg for the fun of it. He bought the apartment last year, so even though I am leaving in three days, all my stuff is staying here. Fuck, I don’t want to think about leaving right now.
“Don’t think about it.” Stan nods to me and pours himself another scotch.
Perrier is sleeping from a long shift in the bedroom, even though it’s barely ten on a Saturday night.
“I’m trying, but...” I drink my club soda down and swallow hard. “We have seen each other every day for the past four years. Give or take her residency interviews last year—and even that was hard.”
“Well, if you really want to make it work it will take some compromise. A lot of hard work, definitely.”
“No offense Stan, but what do you actually know? I have never seen you in a relationship.” I laugh through the tension I built up in myself.
“I know enough. Basically, I know what not to do.” His brows go deep set, and he stares at his empty scotch glass like it did him wrong.
There is something deeper here, I can feel it. It isn’t that I don’t want to ask him, I just don’t know how.
“Okay. Fair enough. What should I not do?”
“Thom,” he sighs, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me. About some shit I did a long time ago.” He reaches over for the scotch bottle. He isn’t a drunkard—like me, he doesn’t drink very often. I pour myself one glass to take the edge off from thinking about leaving Perrie in three days.
“Kay. You don’t have to tell me.” I clap his back and sigh like I’m hurt. He just shakes his h
ead with a laugh.
We talk over one more glass and snack on the Chex mix Perrie made. It’s her second favorite snack to Chobani flip yogurt.
“I am...so fucking tired. I’m getting old.” Stan stretches out. If anything, it seems like he is going backwards.
He looks the same, physically; except he now cuts his hair to go with the European cropped hair cut trend. He never dressed ‘his age’ to begin with. Even now, he is in a pair of gray jogger sweats and a black hoodie. I’m dressed the same way, but I’m twenty-five years old, he’s forty-nine.
“Maybe. How busy do you think I’ll be during residency? I mean, I know it’s crazy work but how many times will I actually be able to get away and visit?”
He blows a loud breath. “I don’t know. Intern year is the worst...there will be times but it’s kind of at your own risk kind of thing. For both of you.”
“Right.”
“I have to ask...”
With the tone of his voice and the look he gives me, I already know what he is about to ask.
“Do you really think it’s going to work?”
I stare back, hoping I can fake an answer, but I know I can’t. Stan will see right through it. I think about it all the time and I can never come to the realistic conclusion. I know I love Perrier with my entire being, and I know she loves me back the same way.
But love isn’t a pretty, straight ribbon of shining happiness. It is unforgiving and unpredictable and takes no prisoners.
“I know plenty of people do the long-distance thing. But everything with Perrie from years ago...I’m a little afraid she won’t be as invested in trying to make it work as I am.”
A heavy breath leaves my chest and I feel the atmosphere shift when it happens, just a few seconds too late.
I don’t know how long I stare at her, or even register her standing there. Maybe it’s after Stan averts his eyes when he notices how see through her shirt is, and how much of her legs are exposed. But I keep staring with a dumb look and a slack jaw. I ask myself: did she hear me? Because she just walks in the kitchen, grabs a water bottle, and then retreats to the bed room without looking at me. She didn’t even slam the door.