by L. Sprague de Camp;Frederik Pohl;David Drake;S. M. Stirling;Alexei
At this point a calculation was made.
Taking the weight of the average man at about a hundred and thirty pounds—in round numbers, 6 x 104 grammes—and allowing for a continued doubling of population every 30 years (although there was no such thing as a “year” anymore, since the Sun had been disintegrated; now a lonely Earth floated aimlessly towards Vega), it was discovered that by the year 1970 the total mass of human flesh, bone, and blood would be 6 x 1027 grammes.
This presented a problem. The total mass of the Earth itself was only 5.98 x 1027 grammes. Already humanity lived in burrows penetrating crust and basalt and quarrying into the congealed nickel-iron core; by 1970 all the core itself would have been transmuted into living men and women, and their galleries would have to be tunneled through masses of their own bodies, a writhing, squeezed ball of living corpses drifting through space.
Moreover, simple arithmetic showed that this was not the end. In finite time the mass of human beings would equal the total mass of the Galaxy; and in some further time it would equal and exceed the total mass of all galaxies everywhere.
This state of affairs could no longer be tolerated, and so a project was launched.
With some difficulty resources were diverted to permit the construction of a small but important device. It was a time machine. With one volunteer aboard (selected from the 900 trillion who applied) it went back to the year 1. Its cargo was only a hunting rifle with one cartridge, and with that cartridge the volunteer assassinated Snodgrass as he trudged up the Palatine.
To the great (if only potential) joy of some quintillions of never-to-be-born persons, Darkness blessedly fell.
***
THE APOTHEOSIS OF MARTIN PADWAY
S. M. Stirling
"This is the right vector,” the computer insisted.
“If you say so,” Maximus Liu-Peng replied. Insolent machine, he added to himself. Still, there’s something fishy here. Some sort of temporal loop?
Luckily, the passengers were too occupied oohing and ahing at the screens to notice the interplay. The big holographic displays around the interior of the compartment showed a blinking succession of possible cities, all of them late-sixth-century Florence; cities large, small, burning, thriving, an abandoned one with a clutch of Hunnish yurts…
They wavered, then steadied to a recognizable shape; recognizable from maps, from preserved relics four hundred years old, and from the general appearance of an Early Industrial city.
Classical-era buildings sprawled across a set of hills with a river winding through it, all columns and marble around the squares and squalid tenements elsewhere; old temples had been converted into churches; city walls torn down and replaced by boulevards and parks; and a spanking-new railway station on the outskirts had spawned a clutch of factories with tall brick chimneys and spreading row housing for the workers.
“How quaint!” gushed somebody’s influential cousin, officially an observer for the Senatorial Committee on Anachro-Temporal Affairs.
Maximus controlled his features. Several of the scholarly types didn’t try to hide their scorn; either safely tenured, naive, or both. A coal-black anthropologist cleared her throat with a hrrrump.
“You’re certain this is our own past?” she said.
The operator’s poker experience came in handy again. “That’s a”—bloody stupid question—“moot point, Doctore Illustrissimo,” he said. “It’s definitely a past with Martinus of Padua in it. There are no other lines within several hundred chronospace-years that show a scientific-industrial revolution this early. Quantum factors make it difficult”—fucking meaningless—“to say if it’s precisely the line that led to us.”
“But will He be here?” an archbishop said.
That required even more caution. “Well, Your Holiness, that’s what we’ll have to find out. This is—” he pointed to the July 14, 585 a.d. readout “—the traditional date of the Ascension.”
“I am not worthy to witness a miracle,” the cleric breathed. “Yet that is why we have come—”
“We’re here to find final proof of the Great Man theory,” a historian answered, and they glared at each other. “Not to indulge in superstition. It’s only natural that primitives, confronted with one of history’s truly decisive individuals, should spin a cocoon of myth as they did with Alexander or Manuel—”
“Nonsense,” the anthropologist said. “Martinus was merely there at the right time. Socioeconomic conditions were obviously—”
“I just drive this thing,” Maximus muttered as the argument went into arm-waving stalemate, and checked the exterior deflector screens. It wouldn’t do to have any of the natives see them floating up here....
Lieutenant Tharasamund Hrothegisson, hirdman in the Guards of Urias III, King of the Goths and Italians and Emperor of the West, looked carefully at each man’s presented rifle as he walked down the line.
Then he called his troop to attention, drew the long spatha at his side, turned to face his men and stood at parade rest, with the point of the blade resting lightly on the pavement between his feet. The street was flat stones set in concrete—nothing but the best for the capital of the Romano-Gothic Empire!—but not too broad, perhaps thirty feet from wall to wall counting the brick sidewalks.
“All right, men,” he said, raising his voice. “This shouldn’t be much of a job. Wait for the word of command, and if you have to shoot to kill, shoot low.”
There were nods and grins, quickly stifled. Tharasamund had spoken in Gothic; that was still the official language of the army—though nowadays only about a fifth of the men were born to Gothic mothers, even in a unit of the Royal Guards, and that was counting Visigoths. There were plenty of Italians, other Romans from Hispania and Gaul and North Africa, Burgunds, Lombards, Franks, Bavarians, Frisians—even a few Saxons and Angles and Jutes, a solitary Dane, and a couple of reddish-brown Lyonessians from beyond the western sea.
None of them were unhappy at the thought of taking a slap at a city mob, though, being mostly farmers’ sons or lesser gentry themselves. Good lads, but inclined to be a bit rough if they weren’t watched.
“Deploy in line,” he said, looking back over his shoulder at the guns for a moment.
There were two of them: old-fashioned bronze twelve-pounders, already unhitched from their teams and pointing forward. And may God spare me the need to use them, he thought. They were obsolete for field use, but as giant short-range shotguns with four-inch bores they were still as horribly efficient as they’d been in the Second Greek War, when they were a monstrous innovation and surprise.
The soldiers trotted quickly to make a two-deep line across the street, identical in their forest-green uniforms and cloth-covered steel helmets. The city was quiet—far too quiet for Florence on a Saturday afternoon, even with the League playoffs sucking everyone who could afford it out to the stadium in the suburbs. The wind had died, leaving the drowsy warmth of an Italian summer afternoon lying heavy; also heavy with the city smells of smoke and horse dung and garbage. The buzzing flies were the loudest sound he could hear, save for a distant grumbling, rumbling thunder. Shopkeepers had pulled down their shutters and householders barred window and door hours ago.
“Load!”
The men reached down to the bandoliers at their right hips, pulled out cartridges and dropped them into the open breeches. They closed with a multiple snick-snick-snick.
“Fix bayonets!”
The long sword-knives went home below the barrels with another grating metallic rattle and snap.
“Present!”
The troops advanced their rifles with a deep-throated ho! That left a line of bristling steel points stretching across the street. With any luck…
Tharasamund took off his helmet and inclined his head slightly to one side. Yes, here they come, he thought.
He replaced the headpiece and waited, spatha making small precise movements as his wrist moved, limbering his sword arm. The first thing he saw was a man in the brown un
iform of the city police. He was running as fast as he could—limping, in fact—and blood ran down his face from a scalp bare of the leather helmet he should have worn. When he saw the line of bayonets, he stopped and started thanking God, Mary, and the saints.
“Make some sense, Sathanas fly away with you,” Tharasamund snapped.
He was a tall, rangy, blue-eyed man a few years shy of thirty himself, with a close-trimmed yellow beard and mustaches and shoulder-length hair a shade lighter, but his Latin was without an accent—better than the rather rustic Tuscan dialect the policeman spoke, in fact. Still, his uniform and Gothic features calmed the Italian a little. They represented authority, even in these enlightened times of the career open to talents.
“My lord,” he gasped. “Patrolman Marcus Mummius reporting.”
“What’s going on?”
“My lord, the Carthage Lions triumphed!”
Tharasamund winced. “What was the score?” he asked.
“Seventeen-sixteen, with a field goal in sudden-death overtime.”
Oh, Sathanas take it, he thought, restraining an impulse to clap his hand to his forehead and curse aloud.
The Florentine mob hated losing, even when times were good—which they weren’t. When times were bad, they were as touchy as a lion with a gut ache. For some reason they thought being the capital city entitled their team to eternal victory, and this was just the sort of thing to drive them into a frenzy. Particularly with defeat at the hands of an upstart team like the Carthage Lions, only in the League a few years—North Africa hadn’t been part of the Western Empire until the war of 560, twenty-five years ago.
“We tried to keep everything in order, but when the Carthaginian fans stormed the field and tore down the goalposts, the crowd went wild. They would have killed all the Lions and their supporters if we hadn’t put all our men to guarding the entrances to the locker rooms. Then they began fighting with all the men from other cities, shouting that foreigners were taking all the best jobs, and—”
“Sergeant, give this man a drink and patch him up,” Tharasamund said, ignoring the Italian’s thanks as he was led away.
There were thousands of out-of-towners around for the playoffs, plenty of material for a riot with the bad times of the last year—the papers were calling it a recession, odd word.
The first spray of hooligans came around the corner two hundred yards south, screaming slogans, banging on shop shutters with rocks and clubs. They were wearing leather helmets, the sort actual footballers used, but painted in team colors and with gaudy plumes added, and the numbers of their favorite players across their chests.
Their noisy enthusiasm waned abruptly as they saw the soldiers; then a deep baying snarl went up, and they began to edge and mill forward towards the line of points.
Tharasamund winced. That was a very bad sign.
“I’ve been too successful for too long,” Martinus of Padua said as he lit a cigarette and leaned back for a moment in his swivel chair, looking at the neat stacks of paper that crowded his marble-slab desktop.
“On the other hand, consider the alternative,” he told himself.
His voice was hoarse with age and tobacco smoke; the precise Latin he spoke was a scholar’s, but it bore the very faint trace of an accent that was—literally—like none other in the whole world. He’d been born Martin Padway, in the United States of America during the first decade of the twentieth century, but even he hardly ever thought of himself by that name anymore; it had been fifty-two years since he found himself transported from Benito Mussolini’s Rome to the one ruled by Thiudahad, King of the Goths and Italians, 533 A.D.
He gave a breathy chuckle; the city fathers of Padua had even erected a monument to his supposed birth in their fair town, and it attracted a substantial stream of tourists. Quite a lucrative little business, all built on a linguistic accident—any native Latin speaker would hear Padway as Paduei, “of Padua.” The chuckle became a rumbling cough, and he swore quietly as he wiped his lips with a handkerchief. The years had carved deep runnels in his face, leaving the beak of a nose even more prominent, but he still had most of his teeth, and the liver-spotted hands were steady as he picked up a file from the urgent stack.
He took another drag on the cigarette, coughed again, flipped the file open and read:
Item:
The East Roman armies looked like they’d finally broken the last Persian resistance in Sogdiana, what Padway mentally referred to as Afghanistan.
Damn. I was hoping they’d be pinned down there fighting guerrillas forever. The way the Byzantines keep persecuting Zoroastrians and Buddhists, they deserve it. Plus the Sogdians are even meaner than Saxons. Oh, well. Might be good for trade if they settle down peacefully.
The East Roman Emperor Justinian was even older than Martin Padway, and he’d never stopped hating the Italo-Gothic kingdom—what had become the reborn and expanded Empire of the West. The more it grew, the more bitter his enmity. Despite the fact that he personally would have been long dead without the doctors Padway had supplied, and never would have beaten the Persians or pushed the Byzantine frontier far north of the Danube without the gunpowder weapons and telegraphs and steamboats his artisans had copied from the models Padway had “invented.”
That made absolutely no difference to Justinian’s intensely clever but even more paranoid mind; he probably thought he’d have done it all anyway if Padway hadn’t shown up. Or even more.
Maybe his grandnephew will be more reasonable. The old buzzard can’t last forever…can he? Note to State Department: get the spies working double-time to see if the Byzantines start shifting troops west to the Dalmatian frontier. He’d love to take another slap at us.
Item:
Riots between pagan and Christian settlers had broken out again in Nova Eboracum, over in Lyonesse; what in another history had been called New York.
Maybe I was a bit too clever there.
Diverting the Saxon migrations from Britannia to the Americas had taken care of their land hunger and gotten a lot of inveterate pirates out of the Channel. It had even introduced them to the rudiments of civilization, since the new colonies were more firmly under the Empire of the West’s control than the North Sea homelands.
What it hadn’t done was lessen their love of a fight; “Saxon” meant something like “shiv-man,” and the tribal ethnonym was no accident. These days they were just using different rationalizations, stubborn Wodenites bashing enthusiasts for the White Christ and vice versa and the Britanno-Roman and Gallo-Roman and Iberian settlers rioting against them all.
The current financial crisis didn’t help either. People here just weren’t used to the idea of market fluctuations—bad harvests and famine, yes, the trade cycle, no. FDR hadn’t been able to cure the one at home, and Padway hadn’t found any way to do it here either, except spread a little comfort money around and wait.
Note to Royal Council: send a couple of regiments to Lyonesse. Not ones with a lot of Saxons or Frisians in the ranks. Push the troublemakers up west of Albany into the frontier townships and give them all land grants.
Then the transplanted Saxons could take out their pugnacity on the Indians. The British Empire had used that trick with the Scots-Irish, in Ireland and America both.
Item:
The Elba Steel Company was complaining about competition from the new mills in the Rhineland. Nothing much I can do about that
Italy just didn’t have much basis for heavy industry, and now that the Rhone-Rhine canal and railway were working…But the Elba Company did have a lot of important Italian and Gothic aristocrats on the board of directors. They had pull in the House of Lords. Plus he’d advised many of them to put their serf-emancipation compensation money into Elba stock, back when. Italian industry had spent a generation or two booming, because it was the only game around. Now the provinces were starting to catch up and all the established balances were shifting.
Wait a minute. We’ll throw them some government contracts, and
they can use the profits to tempt some of the new Gallic and Britannic steel firms to agree to cross-shareholdings. That would ease the transition—and keep those important votes sweet.
Item:
Down in Australia—
A knock came at the door, and his secretary Lucilla stuck her head through. “Quaestor,” she said, having always refused to call him “excellent boss” like everyone else. “Your granddaughter is here.”
“And it’s my birthday, Grandfather!” Jorith said, bursting through and hurrying forward. He rose—slightly painfully—and returned her enthusiastic hug.
His daughter’s youngest daughter was just turned eighteen. She took after her father’s side of the family in looks; he was the third son of King Urias I. She was nearly up to Padway’s five-foot-six, which made her towering for a woman of this age and area, with straight features, long dark-blonde hair falling past her shoulders, and bright green eyes.
Actually, she reminds me of her father’s mother, Padway thought. Just as gorgeous a man-trap, and just as smart. Doesn’t have Mathaswentha’s weakness for lopping off people’s heads, though.
At one point, he’d come within an inch of marrying Mathaswentha himself. Urias’ uncle Wittigis had tried to marry her by force, during the first Byzantine invasion, a few months after Padway was dropped back into Gothic-era Rome; as a princess of the Amaling clan, she made whoever married her automatically eligible for the elective Gothic monarchy. That was one reason he’d pushed the Goths into accepting a pure eldest-son inheritance system; it cut down on succession disputes.
Padway had rescued Mathaswentha from a forced marriage at the very altar, and for a while he’d been smitten with her, and vice versa.
Brrrr, he thought; the memory of his narrow escape never failed to send a chill down his spine. Luckily he’d wised up in time, and had had Urias on hand—a Goth smart enough and tough enough to keep that she-leopard on a leash, and a good friend of Padway’s.