That was good. I saved him, but I needed to rest now. I tilted my head back to face Grim, but my vision was blurring. “Grim…”
Chapter Seventeen
When I woke, I was in dark place. I couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of me. I looked down. I was still in my dress and there were blood stains above my knees… I was barefoot, though. I circled around trying to figure out my whereabouts but there was only darkness.
What was this? Was I dead or dreaming? Oddly, I wasn’t panicking, but I did feel suffocated surrounded by the darkness. Something moved in the distance. As it moved closer, I saw that it was the silhouette of a woman. She slowly moved through the dark—her white dress was the only thing visible inside the dark void.
I saw her legs, her feet, arms… I could make out everything but her face. It was still shrouded in darkness. She moved no further, staying at the edge of the dark.
“Who are you, and where am I?” I asked her.
“Who are you?” she echoed back at me.
“Am I dead?” I squeaked.
“No, you are not.” That was good to know.
“Then I’m dreaming?”
“I suppose you could call it that,” she answered. “Have you figured it out?”
I scrunched up my nose. “Figured what out?”
“You awakened a little too soon—but now it’s needed.”
“Why is it needed? And what is with everyone speaking in tongues?”
“Figure it out. There’s a purpose for everything that happens.”
“Who are you?” I asked again.
She laughed softly. “You keep asking the wrong questions. The question is… who are you?” She sounded eerily familiar, but I couldn’t see her face to know. I blinked, frustrated.
“I already know who I am. I wished people would stop asking me that.” First the Prince, now this woman in my dream.
“No.”
“You’re only confusing me!”
“Be ready, Melanie Rose. You will know soon enough. The truth will reveal itself.”
“Just tell me and I’ll know.”
“Only you can help him now. You can save him.”
“Who? Killian? Grim—”
“Do not refer to them as two separate beings.” Her voice held anger.
“Right now they are.”
“But you know they’re the same, don’t be foolish. If you hide in your fear for too long, you will risk his life. Don’t let Fear ruin any more than he already has.” There was a pause. “Find your truth, Melanie. The rest will come naturally.”
“What if I can’t?”
I didn’t think she would answer me. She was quiet for a long time before she finally replied, “Then it’s not your life you will destroy.”
___________
I woke again—this time for real—staring at the ceiling as I tried to figure out my surroundings. This was the room Grim had prepared for me and I was lying in bed. “You’re awake.” Killian sat in a chair beside the bed. He still looked rough. I smiled weakly. I must have scared them quite a bit for Killian to be allowed around me.
I raised to a sitting position and Killian jumped up to help. I was stiff and even sore, but at least I didn’t feel nauseous anymore. “Thanks,” I told him. “How’s Rixen?”
I could tell he was upset with me. His jaw tightened at the mention of the dragon, but he still managed to turn it into a smile. “He’s fine, thanks to you.” It was impossible not to notice Grim’s presence in the room as well. He was leaned against the doorway, whether he was sulking or angry, I couldn’t tell. “How are you feeling?” Killian asked me.
“Okay, I guess.” I touched my forehead. My head still hurt some and I felt like my body hadn’t been moved in the last year… “I don’t feel like I did when I passed out, so that’s good.”
Killian’s smile vanished. “Now, care to tell me what the bloody hell you were thinking?”
I groaned. I knew this was coming. “I wanted to save him and I did. So what you say doesn’t matter, I’d do it all over again if I had to.” There was a whole lot of glaring between Killian and I until Grim moved from the doorway. It broke our little feud.
“That’s not the problem,” Grim added. He crossed his arms and stood at the end of the bed. Now, it was his turn to lecture me.
“What?” I snapped.
“You can’t use the Vessel anymore. It’s too hard on a human body. It can kill you.” I kind of figured that out already when my body felt like it was shutting down after healing Rixen. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had told me—Vengeance had mentioned it as well. But it still managed to make me nervous. The thought of dying with this mark on my chest—I shuddered, but then I felt guilty. Because it had happened to Ryan.
“Relax. It’s not like I plan on using it again.” Neither of them looked like they believed me.
“Melanie,” Killian growled. “Don’t take what he’s saying lightly.”
“I can see it in her eyes.” Grim was looking at Killian before he turned to me. “You say one thing, but you mean the exact opposite.” Killian looked dangerous right now despite being weak. But Grim was right, I was already thinking of how I could use this power to save Ryan.
“I can’t even use it when I want,” I told them honestly. “But when I’m in danger, I will use it whenever I can.” It was making me angry just thinking about it. “I don’t understand; why do I have it if it’s only going to hurt me if I use it?”
“Because you were never meant to use it. Your body was only meant to hold it, Melanie. Why do you think it’s called a Vessel? That’s exactly what you are for that power: a Vessel.”
I felt my face get hot. I didn’t like his answer. Nor would I accept it. What if I really wasn’t the Vessel? What if I was something else? Something that was me? “What if you’re wrong? This power… it’s me.” I studied my hands and flexed my fingers. I met their eyes. “I don’t think I’m the Vessel.”
Grim sighed. “Then, what is it? Why did Fear come for you? What about Heaven? Are you saying they got it wrong?” He shook his head. “You can’t keep it if you plan to let it kill you.”
“I’m keeping it,” I made a promise to myself as I said it.
“You’ve been unconscious for twelve hours because of it!” Killian’s concern made me soften some.
“I will be fine, remember, I have Lord Death by my side.” I blinked innocently toward Grim trying to butter him up.
Killian was trying hard not to laugh and Grim’s essence completely died out for a moment. “Don’t ever call me that.” He was offended. I smirked. “There’s nothing I could do if it took your life. It’s not like the times I healed your wounds for you. Every time you use it, it chips away at your life. It shortens it. Do you want to place yourself at Fear’s mercy that much sooner?”
“I will only use it when I need to,” I promised.
Killian tossed his hands up and groaned. “You’re impossible, woman.”
“I’m tired of standing still while everyone else is sacrificed.”
“We will get Ryan back,” Grim added by looking away so that he didn’t have to meet my eyes.
I smiled. “But that’s not the biggest problem.” Killian’s tone caught my attention. “Tomorrow night is when we will try the merge again.”
“Wait,” I paused. “Ain’t that a good thing?”
“When we attempt the merge, we will be vulnerable because of two reasons. One: we will be surrounded by hundreds of other demons. Two: we are powerless during our merge; we can’t do anything if we were to be attacked because we will be stuck in the process of merging. Let’s not forget Fear,” Killian said his name distastefully.
I brought my hand to my hair and started raking my fingers through it. One of my nervous habits. “Why will there be so many demons?” I asked.
“The blood moon is also when the Human Festival commences,” Grim told me, shifting on his feet.
My skin prickled. “Human Festiva
l? What in the world is that?” It didn’t sound good.
“It’s exactly as it sounds. The blood moon only comes around once every five hundred years and with it, Satan created a night of free pass for the demons to bring humans to the Underworld. It’s nothing but a show—a sport for demons. It’s not something I ever wished to show you, but we have no choice. You will be joining us tomorrow night as the human we bring.”
My nerves stood on its ends. I looked back and forth between them. Did I even want to know what that meant? “So… I’ll be your dates—the plus one?” I sounded ridiculously hopeful.
Killian gave me one of those intense stares that caused me to blush. “Demons and humans don’t date.”
“So, I’ve heard.” I managed to say and sounded upset in the process. “But, do remind me why you were so desperate for me to understand who you were that night you took me to Deb’s?” I can’t believe I said something so childish, but I couldn’t stop the embarrassing words coming from my mouth. He only grinned.
“What he means,” Grim added quickly. “The festival is nothing like a date. It’s a night demons can do what they want with humans. Whether to show them off or trade and sell; it’s a night of pleasure.” Trade and sell humans? That sounded horrifying. “Whatever you’re thinking, I assure you it’s far worse so mentally prepare yourself.”
“You guys actually go to this event?” My voice came out accusing, but I had to know.
“We don’t,” Killian replied immediately.
“—but our best chance at merging again is being in the Underworld while the festival is going strong; there’s the highest potential for power there,” Grim added.
“Plus, this year we were invited by Satan himself.” My mouth fell open.
Grim nodded. “He must know of Melanie. This is probably his way of taking an interest.”
“Why?” I asked. “He won’t be there, will he?”
Killian shook his head. “No, but he watches and knows everything that happens.” Grim leaned over the bedpost. “He has probably known about Melanie before Fear even found her. We will have to be careful when it comes to him.” I was already feeling nervous. Not every day you find out the devil knew you.
“I won’t let anyone take your life from you.” Grim watched me as he spoke.
Killian took hold of my hand and smiled. “I’d die before I would let anything happen to you.” I smiled feeling a bit bashful, but I could tell that his voodoo was slipping again. The scent of him—sex filtered through my skin and senses, caressing me with dirty thoughts. My body turned to goo and my bashfulness turned into me pulling at his hand—wanting him closer. Good thing Grim was around, he walked over to Killian and smacked him in the back of the head. Killian winced, scowling at Grim as he grabbed his head. The scent was leaving the room and I felt like myself again.
“Control yourself,” Grim told him.
Killian looked up at him—still rubbing his head. “I can’t, I am literally dying from being horny. Do you have any idea what that’s like?” I knew that his pain was no laughing matter because he was serious, but the giggles tumbled out of my mouth anyway. He brought his finger to his eyes. “Look at these dark circles, this is no laughing matter.” Killian glared at me while I was still in a fit of laughter.
I covered my smile with my hand. “I’m sorry, that shouldn’t be funny.”
“She doesn’t look sincere.” Grim watched me in the way he always watched me.
“You’re the one that keeps stopping him from getting what he needs.” I puffed my cheeks out in aggravation.
“Yeah because I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Killian defended Grim.
I groaned. “I can’t wait for you two to be one again! You’re always ganging up on me and taking each other’s side.”
“That’s to be expected.” Grim crossed his arms over his chest and nodded.
Killian was already nodding with him. “We’ve been one and the same for three thousand years. It doesn’t matter that we’re not anymore. Right now, I only feel half of who I am. I’m Killian. I’m Grim.”
“I’m Grim,” Grim mimicked Killian’s exact words. “Just as I am Grim.”
I could only stare at them because they were right. In appearance, they were nothing similar, but in their actions, their personalities—everything was the same. Being separated wouldn’t change that. “I already know.” I found myself smiling.
The room got quiet and I wasn’t sure what needed to be said next. “What about Fear?” I asked.
“What about him?” Grim asked.
“He wasn’t only after the Vessel, remember? He wanted you too, Grim.”
Grim laughed. “Not going to happen. Whatever Fear thinks, he can never merge with two entities. Besides, in order for a merge to work, both the entity and demon have to want it.” I sighed in relief. Still, I prayed he was right.
“Don’t worry about him. All we have to do is merge again,” Killian spoke confidently.
I grinned. “That’s good. I’m getting sick of the two of you being separated.”
Killian smiled—the kind of smile you don’t recover from. There went my heart in a frenzy, but just as quickly as it came, his smile disappeared. He looked away from me and stood. There it was, I knew this feeling all too well, I was being shut out. “You should get some rest.” Grim moved away from the bed. “If this place had a sun, it would be coming up soon and we have a long night ahead of us.” Grim left the room right after. Was I just imagining it or were they putting distance between us?
“Why are you guys suddenly leaving? I still want to talk,” I mumbled, reaching out for Killian, but he stepped away. A dagger twisted itself into my chest. This was what it felt like to be rejected by these two.
“When I’m able to control myself, Melanie,” he whispered softly, almost painfully. “See you tonight.” He hurried out of the room.
I took a deep breath. I was okay. I had so much more to worry about. I needed to figure out the dream. I was starting to think I wasn’t the Vessel… but what was I? And how could I convince Grim that as well? We had to save Ryan…
My chest hurt… it tightened. Another deep breath… When I stopped what was happening between us the first time, did that change things permanently between us? Did he honestly not feel what was between us anymore?
Chapter Eighteen
And night came.
I never fell back to sleep. I didn’t know how they expected me too. I ate what Ralph—finally asked the butler his name—brought me to eat and paced the floor the entire day. I hadn’t seen Killian or Grim.
But that was okay. They were keeping me at a safe distance, but it was no use. I knew how I felt more than ever. I didn’t want to hesitate anymore. I wasn’t confused or afraid. I knew what I wanted and what I wanted was Grim—Killian. I was drawn to the power in Grim and the demon in Killian. And I wanted—needed for them to be one again.
So I made a decision that day. I would confess my feelings to him the moment they merged. I smiled, feeling my nerves calm. I would save Ryan no matter what. And I needed to figure out who I was—as told by Prince Cadence and the girl in my dreams. I had things to do, so I couldn’t get distracted by my own fear.
I wasn’t so weak anymore either. I had my own power that let me use it—sometimes. And there was Grim who would always protect me.
Ralph arrived with a wide rectangle box. He placed it in my hands and let me know that Grim would come to get me in another hour. After he left the room, I walked to the bed and sat down with the box and opened it.
It was a dress. I was guessing they wanted me to wear it tonight. I looked around at all of the other dresses going to waste and smirked—he was definitely the type to spoil a girl, I didn’t know if he noticed that about himself. I picked up the black material and held it up. Well, it felt very soft… but it was also very small. Skimpy and one shoulder strap. I was not a bold person. I looked at the dress uncertainly.
Melanie, you’re supposed to b
e taking a stand. This was definitely doing something… I thought and sat the box and dress on the bed so I could get out of the one I was wearing. I let the dress I had on fall to the floor and slipped on the black one. It hugged my curves and the strap covered Fear’s mark perfectly. Then something weird began to happen. The dress felt like it was moving—I was in the process of tearing out of the thing when I realized what it was doing. The dress was molding itself against me. It started lifting and tightening around my breasts to the point that they were spilling out. A slit formed between them, exposing them even more. I placed my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes. “Men,” I muttered as I stared down at my pale cleavage.
Still, I felt the flutters reach my stomach. I was suddenly remembering the fact that Killian’s mouth had been hot against my nipple… I pinched my cheeks. “Stop it.” Thank God no one could read minds or I would live in constant embarrassment.
Really, though. I took a deep breath. I found a pair of black stiletto boots inside the box. “You gotta be kidding me?” And I really needed to stop talking to myself. I put them on anyway and walked around to see if I could manage wearing them. Not making any promises.
There was also a spray bottle with a note on it that said: Spray me over your head!
I arched my eyebrow. I did as the note instructed and sprayed it over my head. It fell over me like glitter. I could feel my freaking hair moving on my head! I also noticed that my fingernails were now black. Curious of what else it did to me, I hurried over to the mirror.
My hair was up and curled to frame my face. My eyeliner was black and thick, but it only made my blue eyes pop more. I grinned at my reflection. I looked like a biker’s chick. I looked kind of wild… I didn’t know how else to put it into words. Or a hot mess.
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