Seeing Double
Page 18
It was too dark to see her features, to make sure it was her, really her. He ran his fingers along her cheekbones, her chin, trying to recognise the angles. Hoping to read her face the same way a blind man might. This face he’d kissed so many times. This head that she had rested on his chest. Her skin was damp and rubbery, and very cold.
For a moment he remembered her self-portrait. That hideous, mutilated visage.
Dear God is that how she is now? Is that what I’m touching?
His heart twisted in pain, the backs of his eyes burned. “Neven. What did you do? What did you do?”
From behind them came the sound of the gate screaming open. Daniel turned, startled.
There was a woman there, staring in at them. She stood in silhouette, the weak light from outside leaking in behind her. But he knew that shape, that stance—slim shoulders, hair clipped back. Her arms straight at her sides, her shoulders set. Her jacket hung open, the belt buckle was torn at her hip. It swung to the side when she moved. That was her old jacket, the red one, the one that—
“Ada?”
“You sick fuck!” she shrieked at him, at them. Her voice was high and crazed. It cracked along the walls and echoed. For a moment their ears hurt. But that voice, it was hers.
“She’s hysterical,” Daniel said softly, struck with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. He’d never seen Ada like this before. He’d never seen her in such extreme emotion, not even when she’d told him about the things that had hurt her, scarred her, come closest to breaking her. He’d never heard her raise her voice like this, either. Not in all their years together, not even in the times when he himself had done the most damage to her—
But she’s alive!
He wanted to look behind him, to check again and confirm to himself that the thing in the cage was not some shared hallucination, not some crazy psychic meld between him and Neven, centred around some girl, some other girl—
“Neven, she’s insane. She’s gone crazy.” He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or horrified.
“No,” Neven said. And Daniel didn’t see this, but Neven smiled a wide, welcoming smile, his eyes warm with love. “She’s not screaming. Or crying. She’s laughing.”
Ada hunched over, her hands on her knees. She glowered in at them, the light catching the side of her face for one brief instant. Painting it monstrous.
“Ada,” Daniel said. His heart was beating so fast his whole body shook. Terrified, he realised. I’m terrified. I’ve never been so afraid. Never been so—
Neven was stepping past him, moving toward the woman Daniel understood—in a flash-fire of deeper instincts primed now by his panic—was Not Ada, not quite, not really—
A figure stepped in from the side and flanked the Not Ada. A man in a long dark overcoat, his hands in his pockets. Clenched into fists, Daniel knew. He keeps things in his pockets, and he crushes them. Keys, slips of paper, change–anything, anything. He’ll crush anything—
“Daniel?” Neven stopped, glancing back. His eyes were wide, his skin a sick white where the light hit the side of his face. The rest of him in silhouette, too much a part of the shadows for Daniel to see his expression and read what it said.
“Neven, don’t—”
The other Daniel removed his hand from his pocket. He stepped into the enclosure, reached toward Neven, and closed his crushing fingers around Neven’s throat. There was the crunch-pop of his trachea as it shattered. Neven gurgled a mouthful of blood. Released, he dropped to his knees and fell to his side. He lay there in voiceless agony, froths of blood leaking from his mouth.
There’s nothing beautiful about this, Daniel thought from somewhere far outside of himself, watching his friend writhe. This is hideous. It could only ever be hideous. How did I ever think there was anything good about blood, about pain? What—
A third man appeared beside Ada.
Female, neuter, male—
This Neven held the gate for the other Daniel to step back through it, and as he did he glanced at the Daniel left behind. He smiled a broad smile. He pulled the gate shut. The padlock clicked home.
“Let me out!”
They stared in at him, watching. Their familiar faces alien and cold.
“What do you want? Let me out!”
Daniel glanced down at Neven on the floor of the shed. He lay with his hands wrapped around his throat, kicking his feet, lost to pain. Daniel snatched a look behind him, as if hoping to see a door or window that had magically appeared.
A way out. Please.
There was only the same damp, foul-smelling darkness. A cage in the shadows, a corpse in the cage. And Daniel left standing alone, locked in an abandoned shed nobody visited and few knew the existence of.
In the city, people forget to listen for the sound of screams.
“Don’t do this!” Daniel rushed to the gate toward the three—People? Things? Doubles?—that stood in surreal solidity, stood there staring. Stood there, smiling.
He stopped in front of Ada-not-Ada. So much exactly the same, only her eyes were different, something about them didn’t quite strike true. The look in them maybe. So black, so dark.
She reached into her Daniel’s front pocket, and she pulled out his small silver blade. Long and smooth and bright, milky-clean.
She slid it through the chain-link, offering it to him.
It was his blade.
It was not his blade.
It shone there for him. Allure in its smooth taper, its vicious point. His goring blade, his slicing blade. The antique blade he’d bought when he was just eighteen and knew that it was his forever.
His fingers closed on the tip. The metal felt hot, searing hot, but familiar, too, and comforting.
He stood there for lost moments, staring down at it, a thing his-not-his, held precious in trembling hands-not-his, telling him to do what he didn’t want to do.
When he looked up again, they were gone.
END
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
When I first conceived this torture tale, it was with the aim of pushing through as many safe zones as I could handle, sledge-hammering more of my own boundaries than I knew existed. It was an effort in darkest exploration of my own mind, as well as an attempt to capture the essence of what I most admire in extreme horror literature and film. I didn’t know what the result would be when I began (all I heard in my own head was Push!), and I learned a great deal in the process of tackling some of the themes contained here. That said, no tale is ever truly told alone, and over the year it took me to pen the first draft of Seeing Double, I leaned hard on the many inspiring and truly exceptional people I had in my life at that time. So to those specifically mentioned and equally to those not: Your support and encouragement, advice and enlightenment, were essential to the structure I needed in order to write this book.
To the Serbian dudes on FangJia. Realer than real, and always laughing. You didn’t know you were doing it, but thank you for showing me how things balance even in extremes.
Thanks to Linda Westman, metal drummer and my chaos girl heroine, who cheerfully took the earliest draft of Seeing Double home to read… and sweetly never blamed me for the consequences. (Sorry, babe!)
Grazie to Gianluigi Perrone, my horror guru back then, who showed me his incredible film Morituris… and taught me that there is a time and a way to be completely unafraid. A lesson I shall keep forever.
Nora: 亲爱的，你真是一个超级棒的女孩儿。我爱你。感谢。
Soul-felt thanks to Edoardo Gagliardi, who was at my side and uncomplaining every day as I went through the process of writing the first draft of this book.
And thanks to Stephanie Christella Rosina Warner, who deserves a very large share of my gratitude regarding this particular work. Thank you for opening my eyes, and thank you for letting me so darkly cast that gaze you offered into my own work. You are a magnificent talent, an incredible being. I’m humbled to call you a friend.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Karen R
unge is a horror and dark fiction author whose works have appeared in various anthologies and fiction collections from around the world. Her first solo collection, Seven Sins, was released in 2016 by Concord Free Press. She currently lives in Johannesburg, South Africa.
"Grey Matter Press has established itself as one of the premiere purveyors of horror fiction currently in existence via both a series of killer anthologies -- SPLATTERLANDS, OMINOUS REALITIES and EQUILIBRIUM OVERTURNED -- and John F.D. Taff's harrowing novella collection THE END IN ALL BEGINNINGS." -- FANGORIA Magazine
PEEL BACK THE SKIN
They're among us.
They live down the street, in the apartment next door, and even in our own homes. They're the real monsters. And they stare back at us from our bathroom mirrors.
PEEL BACK THE SKIN is a powerhouse anthology of terror that strips away the human mask from the real monsters of our time -- mankind. Featuring a star-studded cast of award-winning authors from the horror, dark fantasy, speculative fiction, transgressive, bizzaro, extreme horror and thriller genres, PEEL BACK THE SKIN is the next game-changing release from Grey Matter Press.
FEATURING:
Nancy A. Collins – “Gator Lake”
Ray Garton – “Burning Leaves on an Autumn Day”
Ed Kurtz – “Family Bible”
Tim Lebbon – “The Protector”
James Lowder – “Orphans of the Air”
Jonathan Maberry – “Mystic”
Graham Masterton- “The Greatest Gift”
Joe McKinney – “The Shed”
William Meikle – “The Lady of the Minch”
Charles Austin Muir – “Party Monster”
John McCallum Swain – “Beholder”
Yvonne Navarro – “Superheated”
Lucy Taylor – “Moth Frenzy”
Durand Sheng Welsh – “Life or Whatever Passes for It”
Erik Williams – “The Long Bright Descent”
REVIEWS:
"This collection of short stories serves both to entertain and provoke thought. I recommend this collection of spooky delights as a great way to spend a few nights." – FANGORIA
"PEEL BACK THE SKIN investigates the horrific behavior of humanity, but does not revel in it. The entertainment is dark and pulpy, but never exploitive. PEEL BACK THE SKIN reveals why horror is necessary today." – NEW YORK JOURNAL OF BOOKS
"Every single story in the book is in a class of its own. Thematically, PEEL BACK THE SKIN is a thing of brilliance, each story complementing or enhancing the stories around it. Top-notch, accessible and entertaining dark fiction." – THIS IS HORROR
* * *
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PEEL BACK THE SKIN
DREAD:
A Head Full of Bad Dreams
There are some nightmares from which you can never wake.
DREAD: A Head Full of Bad Dreams is a terrifying volume of the darkest hallucinatory revelations from the minds of the most accomplished award-winning authors of our time.
Travel dark passageways and experience the alarming visions of twenty masters from the horror, fantasy, science fiction, thriller, transgressive and speculative fiction genres as they bare their souls and fill your head with a lifetime of bad dreams.
FEATURING:
"Amnion" - John Everson
"Angie" - John F.D. Taff
"City Song" – Trent Zelazny and Edward Morris
"Heirloom" - Michael Laimo
"Housesitting" – Ray Garton
"How to Make a Human" – Martin Rose
"Martial Law" – JG Faherty
"Mister Pockets" – Jonathan Maberry
"Mister White" – John C. Foster
"Moonlighting" – Chad McKee
"On the Threshold" - William Meikle
"Pure Blood and Evergreen" – Bracken MacLeod
"Release" – Jane Brooks and Peter Whitley
"Second Opinion" – Ray Garton
"Show Me" – John F.D. Taff
"The Last Elf" – T. Fox Dunham
"The Troll" – Jonathan Balog
"This is Not a Horror Story" – Tim Waggoner
"Through the Ghostlands" – Rose Blackthorn
"Wormhole" – J. Daniel Stone
REVIEWS:
"Reading DREAD: A HEAD FULL OF BAD DREAMS is my very first experience with the small publisher Grey Matter Press -- and let me tell you, I cannot wait to read more. DREAD is a solid ode to nightmares that will keep you up -- and most importantly, keep you reading." – FANGORIA
"If you consider yourself a discerning reader of horror fiction but have yet to sample the dark delights of Grey Matter Press then you are in for a treat. This collection should be filed under essential reading. Grey Matter Press are one of the leading lights within the dark fiction genre." – GRIM READER
"This is sure to be a great addition to any horror-lover's collection." – SCREAM SIRENS
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DREAD:
A Head Full of Bad Dreams
MISTER WHITE:
A Dark Thriller
by John C. Foster
In the shadowy world of international espionage and governmental black ops, when a group of American spies go bad and inadvertently unleash an ancient malevolent force that feeds on the fears of mankind, a young family finds themselves in the crosshairs of a frantic supernatural mystery of global proportions with only one man to turn to for their salvation.
Combine the intricate, plot-driven stylings of suspense masters Tom Clancy and Robert Ludlum, add a healthy dose of Clive Barker's dark and brooding occult horror themes, and you get a glimpse into the supernatural world of international espionage that the chilling new horror novel MISTER WHITE is about to reveal.
John C. Foster's MISTER WHITE is a terrifying genre-busting suspense shocker that, once and for all, answer the question you dare not ask: "Who is Mister White?"
REVIEWS:
"Mister White is a potent and hypnotic brew that blends horror, espionage and mystery. Foster has written the kind of book that keeps the genre fresh and alive and will make fans cheer. Books like this are the reason I love horror fiction." – RAY GARTON, Grand Master of Horror and Bram Stoker Award®-nominated author of Live Girls and Scissors
"Mister White is like Stephen King's The Stand meets Ian Fleming's James Bond with Graham Masterton's The Manitou thrown in for good measure. It's frenetically paced, spectacularly gory and eerie as hell. Highly recommended!" – JOHN F.D. TAFF, Bram Stoker Award®-nominated author of The End in All Beginnings
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MISTER WHITE:
A Dark Thriller
SAVAGE BEASTS:
A Nightmare of Supernatural, Science and Sound
SAVAGE BEASTS is a volume of contemporary dark fiction inspired by some of the greatest artists in musical history. SAVAGE BEASTS is a thrilling and thought-provoking nightmare of horrifying supernatural experiences exploring darkly introspective science fiction, terrifying horrors and fantastical alternative realities, each accompanied by the sound of the music that defines your life.
Written by some of the most talented authors in genre fiction, the short stories in SAVAGE BEASTS shine a light on eleven dark worlds with fictional work inspired by rock icons Nine Inch Nails, Pink Floyd, The Cranberries, Genesis, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Danish death metal band Pestilence, new wave and dancehall diva Grace Jones, Portuguese electronic house duo Underground Sound of Lisbon, indie rockers School of Seven Bells, classical composers Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Johann Sebastian Bach and many more.
Soothe your desire for exceptional music-inspired fiction in SAVAGE BEASTS: A Nightmare of Supernatural, Science and Sound with dark tales curated by Bram Stoker Award®-nominated editors Anthony Rivera and Sharon Lawson.
FEATURING:
"To Soothe the Savage Beast" - Edward Morris
"Going Home" - Karen Runge
"That Song You Can't Get Out of Your Head
" - John F.D. Taff
"Pestilence by Beemahr" – Shawn Macomber
"Killing Noise" – Konstantine Paradias
"When Death Walks the Field of Battle" – J.C. Michael
"An American Ghost in Zurich" – Daniel Braum
"Poor Mal" – Maxwell Price
"Eidolon" – E. Michael Lewis
"Crawling Back to You" – Paul Michael Anderson
"Die Musik des Teufels" – T. Fox Dunham
REVIEWS:
"Few ever get into the territory as Grey Matter Press' SAVAGE BEASTS, which derives its scary stories under the guiding light of macabre music. And luckily, SAVAGE BEASTS has the talent behind it to rock into your nightmares." – FANGORIA
"The tales in SAVAGE BEASTS are as varied as their inspirations. Many of the contributors don't just use music as their muse, they place it front and centre in their narratives. Here, music has the power to save and to kill, and nothing buried in the past stays buried forever, regardless of how frightening it is." – MONICA S. KUEBLER, RUE MORGUE
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SAVAGE BEASTS
A Nightmare of Supernatural, Science and Sound
DEATH'S REALM:
Where the Here and the Hereafter Collide
There is something that awaits you on the road ahead. It's there, lurking in the darkness at the intersection between the Here and the Hereafter.
Whether we choose to admit it or not, just ahead of each and every one of us on the road of life is a dangerous place where we will all, one day, arrive. It's here, at the intersection of this existence and the next, where the forces of the Living and the Dead converge in the terrifying location known as Death's Realm. And it's here that those from either side of the veil meet to wage their everlasting battle in the struggle for control. Both sides have their agenda. And both will do anything to win the war.