Then, Bryan didn’t give her a chance to talk.
“I want you back.” His hands, now away from her wrists, were digging at the sides of her face.
Their breaths mingled, spreading heat in the air, condensing into sweaty little drops that trickled down uncomfortably between her breasts.
Without another word, he teased away the scrap of fabric covering her boobs and ran his thumb over the underside of her breasts, caressing her, feeding her starved body with human touch. She didn’t deny how good it felt. He knew her, and he knew what she liked.
But no matter how good it felt, it wasn’t right to do this. Even if her entire body was betraying her and her hormones were leading her down a destructive path, she had enough common sense to recognize it for what it was.
“Stop. You’re getting married next month. You can’t...”
“I can. I’m not married yet.” Angry, he tried to take her mouth in a kiss.
With great resolve, she forced her head away. “What do you think I am? Some toy you can pick up anytime? You dumped me without a word eight years ago, and now you want to kiss and makeup like nothing happened? That is not fucking happening.”
“Don’t do this to me now, sunshine.” Those magnificent silvery gray eyes that had been her entire world for three years met her again. Trying to seduce her again.
And failing miserably.
“If you expected me to fall into your arms after the way you cheated on me, you’re way too drunk.” She shifted away from his reach.
He gave a half-hearted sigh. “I know you’re angry. I messed up, okay? I’ll make everything right. But tonight I need you, Bella.” His finger traveled down the exposed skin of her throat, all the way to the thin crease formed by the squishing of her breasts. “I want to fuck you like we used to. I want my head to be filled with your face, my nose with the smell of your pussy when I wake up tomorrow.”
Shuddering at the thought of Bryan’s anything anywhere close to her pussy, Bella brought her arms up over her chest. “If you want sex, fuck Nicole. As for me, I’m not available.”
She refused to give him the power to push her around any longer.
“Nicole’s not you. She’s too perfect, too bony. There’s no art in her body, no curves. She doesn’t feel the way you do. You feel like heaven, babe. You’re special. You were always special. I was just too stupid to realize it.”
Whatever he’d drunk at the bar was capable of producing mind-altering effects. Just a few years ago, she’d been too fat, too ordinary, too ugly for him. Now she was curvy and special, huh?
“Too late to pull that shit on me now.” Bella kicked him in the shin and felt a small spark of satisfaction at her retaliation.
He raked his finger across her forehead. “I’m sorry, sunshine. I know I didn’t handle our break-up like I should have. I was an ass. I’ll apologize all you like, but let me do it my way...” Finding the curve of her butt, he stuck his fingers under her and tried to lift her up.
He couldn’t.
Being fat had its advantages, too.
Fighting away his intrusion, she slammed his hand to the back of the seat.
“For fuck’s sake, Bryan. Get your act together already. You’re getting married in a month.” Acid sputtered in her voice.
“I don’t want to get married.” He gave her another one of those smoldering looks. “Rather, I don’t want to marry Nicole.”
“Well, then you need to tell her that. I’m not the cure to your pre-wedding jitters.”
“But you’re the cure for my broken heart,” he said. ‘Since you went away, I’ve been only half-alive. I know I was too foolish to understand that when I was young, but I want you now. And I’ll give up everything I have, to keep you this time.”
Her heart skipped one beat. Only one. Then she was back to reality.
Rearranging the strands of hair that he’d displaced, “There are dozens of beautiful women in Beverly Hills.”
His hands enclosed hers. “Nobody comes close to you. You’re the sun, baby, and all they’re just space dust. Pale imitations of your brilliance.”
Oh, please. What was he trying to pull there? A Wordsworth?
Bella refrained from rolling her eyes. “You don’t need me.”
If he couldn’t stay faithful to the most beautiful and talented singer on the planet, what chance did she have?
“I do. You and I had something great. I’ve never been with anyone as long as I’ve been with you.”
True fact. But that was not because they’d had something special, it was because she’d been way too tolerant of him.
She wasn’t proud of the weak, insecure woman she’d once been, but she wasn’t that woman anymore.
“Stop the car. I want to get off.” Bella sharpened those words so he wouldn’t ignore her.
“If that’s what you want.” He barked out an order to his chauffer. The wheels screeched to a halt. “But trust me, you’ll regret this. You’ll regret having wasted this opportunity.”
“Not as much as I’ll regret sleeping with you.”
She clambered out of the car faster than he could blink.
“It’s not over between us yet.” Bryan’s warning dissipated in the cloying humidity of July.
Without sparing a backward glance, she picked out the clearest route back.
Traffic in this area being what it was, Bryan hadn’t gotten her far. At the entrance of the bar, she spotted Jamie. His face defused some of the explosive anger in her. And triggered something else.
That sexually charged encounter with Bryan had left her with a lot of hormones circulating around her body. And Jamie, with his easy smile, chocolate hair, and tight, sexy butt was the last thing she needed when she was so hormonal.
“Where did you go?” He scanned her face, worried. “Everything okay?”
“Mmmm,” she said, fighting the desire blooming inside her. After that failed kiss, it was stupid to expect anything from him. “I think I’ll head back home.”
She’d eat and engage in some form of escapism to get her mind off Bryan. And Jamie’s cute butt.
He fell into step beside her. “I’ll walk you to the subway station.”
Shooting him an angry look, Bella brought her arm between them, like a shield. “Go away.”
He stayed. “Something’s bothering you.”
“A lot of things are bothering me.”
“Does any of it have to do with me?”
She was about to brush him off when her gaze accidentally drifted to his lips.
And her heart zoomed off.
The urge to kiss him bit her. Hard. The shooting for Troubled Domesticity was over. They’d have no opportunity to see each other anymore. Today could be the last time she ever talked to him. This was her last chance to act on her feelings for him. She couldn’t let this moment slip away.
Gathering courage, she asked, “Why didn’t you want to kiss me that day?”
Mild shock passed through his blue eyes. His voice dropped an octave, grew husky. “It didn’t feel right.”
Trailing her eyes down to his lips, Bella twitched. “Does it feel right now?”
He paused for a moment. Turned the full-force of his aquamarine gaze at her. Then murmured softly, “It does.”
Crumpling his collar under her fingers, she yanked his face close to hers. “Then do it.”
He stalled, although from the ticking of his pulse in his throat, she knew he couldn’t hold it anymore than she could. “I can’t. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea. I’m not a forever kind of guy.”
She shook her head. “I’m not looking for forever. Only a kiss.”
Without another protest, he took her lips. She gasped under him. Her hands came out and enveloped his body.
His lips moved like wet satin under hers. Magnificently welcoming. Headily intoxicating.
Swiping his tongue against her bottom lip, Jamie swept away any crumbs of Bryan that she was still holding onto. With every contact, m
ore of the explosive chemistry between them exploded. They panted, taking short sips of air before launching back in. Closing his teeth over her bottom lip, he tugged it and she moaned.
They were smack dab in the middle of a street, with cars and pedestrians whooshing past them, but in his arms, the world outside disappeared. All that mattered was wet, impatient tangling of their tongues.
Nudging his hand up her tummy to her breast, Jamie rubbed a nipple until it pebbled.
Bella peeled herself away from him.
“No?” he asked, anxious.
“Yes, but not here.”
*
By the time the door to his apartment clicked shut, Bella had managed to get his shirt off and he’d managed to get his belt. Her dress left her body next, trailed by her pumps. Releasing her hair from the ponytail, he tossed her scrunchie on the floor, and flipping her, backed her up against the wall.
The shades were down and the lights out, so it was pitch dark, except for specks of light coming from under the door. Bella hoped it would remain dark, because she was not having sex with lights on.
She tried to put her arms around him, but he bound her wrists and raised her hands over her head. Letting his tongue dive into her mouth, he pressed her harder into the wall. His tongue plundered her mouth ruthlessly, milking every sensation from her. To accommodate him, she circled his waist with her legs. Heat buzzed between her thighs and streaked up.
Jamie cupped her ass and gave it a squeeze. Sliding his fingers up and down the crack of her butt, he infused her with anticipation. His lips carved a trail down her stomach as he kissed each and every fold on her stomach lovingly.
She loved the way his lips skated under the two folds on her belly, and when he clamped his lips around the loose flesh, she almost choked on tears. He didn’t treat these folds like ugly flab or extra weight. He treated it like it was a part of her.
“Ah—” Her words snuffed out when his lips met her pubic bone.
She slanted herself back, closer to the hard wall and closed her legs, though she didn’t have to try, because her thighs naturally stuck together.
“Open.” He tried to get her thighs to unglue.
“No. Not yet.”
Attempting to get her bra off, she was stopped by him.
“Keep your hands up.” The heel of his hand slid over her wrists and pinned her hands over her again.
Jamie’s tongue tickled her nipples through the sheer lace of her bra before he got the hard, aroused bud with his teeth. Bella groaned. Gooseflesh pimpled the nape of her neck.
“Take me against the wall,” she begged.
The unzipping of his jeans tore through the silence in the dark, empty living room. He snaked one arm over her and pulled her closer to him, while his other arm worked to get rid of his jeans.
Lowering her against him, his hard arousal pressed into her hungry wetness, feeding it with delicious friction. She almost ripped his boxers because she couldn’t bear not being able to touch his hard length with her hands. Closing her fingers around his shaft, Bella brought her hand down to the tip.
Jamie’s cock turned harder. Strangled, animalistic breaths ricocheted off her skin. Pressure grew against her closed fist. Powerful. She felt powerful controlling him this way.
Rubbing his tip against her opening, Bella pleasured herself. The way he went breathless, Jamie must be enjoying the tease, too. Bringing his cock up to her clit, she circled her sweet spot, until she was dripping and ready to be entered.
Then, she asked him for it. “Fuck me hard.”
“I was planning to.”
Squatting, he held onto her and dipped to the ground to fish out a wrapper from the jeans he’d discarded. If she was feeling up it, she’d question why he’d had a condom on him. But at this particular moment, she didn’t really care.
Slipping on the condom, Jamie walked his fingers over her pussy in a sensual rhythm.
“You’re so wet.” He spread her damp folds apart. “So hot for me.”
“Yes, give it to me,” she begged.
Nobody had gotten her this wet and excited since...since...Bryan.
For one second, her blurry mind confused Jamie for Bryan. But that illusion snapped when his eyes—deep, dark and desire-laden—swept over hers. Bryan’s eyes had always been cool, cynical, judgmental. Jamie’s held nothing but blatant yearning. They screamed for her. Only her. Not any glamorous thing with a pair of tits, but her.
When he drove two fingers into her and curled them inside her, she dug her claws into his back. Coiling through her chest, the delight was fluid.
Pulling his fingers out, he smeared the wet moisture across her nipples, then licked it off. “Mmmm. Delicious.”
A flurry of shivers went down her spine. God, this was so erotic.
She tilted her pelvis up and brought her pussy closer to his touch. “Come into me.”
“Hang on a sec....” His fingers darted past her…what was he doing? Her eyes followed him. He was reaching towards a switch. No, no, no....
A snap later, illumination fell over her.
Automatically, Bryan’s snicker echoed inside her brain. She remembered how degraded, inadequate she’d felt when he scrunched his nose at the sight of her stomach. Clicked his tongue at her sagging breasts. Flicked his fingers disapprovingly at her thighs, telling her to stop being lazy and get on the treadmill.
Fear overcame her in a rush. She knew he wasn’t here anymore, but his barbs were still stuck in her head. They were all false, all stupid, but nevertheless, they dampened her confidence.
“What’s the matter?” Jamie was confused by her sudden panic.
“Turn out the lights. I don’t—” She stopped herself right there.
No way was she letting Bryan ruin her sex life. Jamie loved her and he loved her for being a big-boned, beautiful woman. He wasn’t going to look at her and nitpick her fitness level. He’d better not.
Jamie sucked in a breath, the way she too often did before she lectured someone. “Relax, Bella, I’m not gonna judge your body.”
She wrapped her arms tighter around her breasts, forcing tears away from her eyes. “I was startled for a second there. I’m okay now.”
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
“It feels good to be able to see everything clearly.”
He’d never understand how much it meant to her to overcome years of insecurity and let someone see her flaws up close. No, she told herself. These weren’t flaws—this was her body. And it was perfect.
“It does, doesn’t it?” Sweat beaded on his neck. He was completely absorbed in looking at her. “Not so sure I can go slow anymore.”
“Who asked you to?”
He pressed a tight kiss onto her forehead, then trailed further down to her breasts. Ecstasy folded into her in slow, lazy flicks, rapidly evolving to bursts of euphoria that throbbed and swelled when his cock thrust into her. Clenching her pussy, she wound all her eager wetness around him, forcing him to drive deeper, to her core, absorbing every shock of delight he sent her way.
They were so perfect inside each other. So flawless.
She rode him until they were both enveloped by a heady, sweaty orgasm. Intense contractions poured through her body. Inhaling and exhaling alternately, she relaxed into the moment.
“I’ve never come so fast.” She let out a satisfied sigh.
Jamie didn’t answer. And when he threw his head back a moment later, she knew why.
Chapter 9
Good things never lasted long. So Jamie knew that having Bella curled under his arm, her skin resting against his, was going to have to end.
“We need to talk.” He cringed as he said those words.
They sounded so wrong in his voice. He’d never been the let’s-talk-about-where-we-stand type. Mostly because it was clear from the start where he stood with most women.
Then again, most women weren’t Bella Hopkins. They didn’t have their wedding venues booked, dresses bought, gues
t list planned and invitations printed a year before they found someone to marry. Nor did they see every guy as a potential husband and father before seeing him as a man.
“Right now?” Sitting on his bed with her armor of clothes back on her body, Bella hugged his pillow. Expectation and hope sat behind her baby blue eyes.
Fuck. If she felt half as romantic as she looked, she was in trouble. So was he.
“Since you’re staying at my place tonight, and we just had sex, I want to make sure we’re both are on the same page.” Clearing his throat that had suddenly become scratchy, Jamie walked around to buy time.
“Who said I’ll be sleeping over?”
He squared his gaze with hers. “I did.”
She didn’t argue.
“Look. I respect you, Bella. You’re intelligent. You’re hot. You’re funny. But...” For hell’s sake, did she have to give him that disappointed look right now? His throat already felt like it was stuffed with nails. Counting to five, Jamie soldiered on. “I’m never gonna marry you.”
She was every man’s nightmare. The woman who talked about marriage and kids on the first date. Just like no self-respecting woman wanted to be with a man for whom she was nothing but a housekeeper and a womb, no self-respecting man wanted to be with a woman who only wanted a ring, a house, legal contract, and a sperm donor, who didn’t care for the man she was with, only the trappings he could give her.
Bella shattered right in front of him. All the light on her face shriveled and died. Exactly what he’d been afraid of.
“I didn’t ask you to marry me.” Clinging to her pride, she tossed her chin up.
“Not yet. But you’re looking for someone who’s eventually going to settle down with you. I can’t be that man. Ever. I don’t commit.” Since she was looking almost sick, he gave her time to process it. “If you’re okay with a casual fling, call me anytime you need another orgasm. But if you want prince charming, Mr. Right, whatever...you should be looking elsewhere.”
He had no space for commitment in his life right now.
She sucked in her nostrils sharply, making a grunting sound. Jamie hoped it wasn’t tears that had blocked her nose. “I know. I know. I’m okay.”
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