He feverishly calculated in his head—Colleen had a couple hours’ head start on him. She had arrived in Jamaica today. She must have gone straight to Isaiah's. It was nearly seven now. He allowed the shower to pummel his tense muscles. What if she didn't come home?
He had the insane urge to hit the tiles with his head. And he probably would have too, if he had any energy left. Instead, he turned off the shower, dried himself off, pulled on a clean pair of boxers from his drawer and went to sleep. He would think about how absolutely miserable he felt when he woke up.
It was a small thud that awakened Enrique, and then the whisper of clothes being pulled off.
"Colleen?" he murmured before he even opened his eyes.
There was no answer and he sat up in the bed, turning on the light. She was in the half-light by the bed.
"I didn't want to wake you up."
Enrique inhaled raggedly. "You are here, in this room."
Colleen chuckled. "So are you."
"You didn't answer your phone."
"I left it in the apartment," Colleen said. She headed for the shower and he watched her. She was in her bra and panties.
When she came back out stark naked and then went over to the chest of drawers and pulled on one of his shirts, Enrique felt both pleased and confused at the same time.
"What happened today?" he asked tensely as she crawled into bed with him.
She turned to him. She smelled like toothpaste and the coconut cream lotion that she liked.
"Nothing much." She punched her pillows and then lay down on them with a sigh.
He looked at the clock on the side table. “It's one o'clock in the morning.”
"Yes," she murmured. "I am all talked out and I feel as if I have been through an emotional wringer."
She turned her body away from his and before he could ask her another question she was asleep.
He closed his eyes. Now that was an anticlimax. He wanted to question her about Isaiah and how she felt, but she was fast asleep.
At least he guessed that it meant something that she was home with him and not with Isaiah. He would be satisfied with that for now, but why did he feel as if his life with her was hanging in the balance?
He shifted in the bed and hugged her to him. He didn't care about his fears. He was not going to let her go that easily.
*****
"Want to join me for a run on the beach?" Enrique asked. It was after eight. They had both slept late. Outside was overcast and he wanted to clear his mind.
Colleen put a pillow over her head. "I don't think so."
Enrique sat on the edge of the bed. "Come on, Lazy Bones." Enrique tickled her foot bottom until she got up.
"Okay. Okay, already," Colleen said, getting up and squinting up at him. "Why do you like running on the beach so much?"
She looked adorable with her flattened curls and sleepy eyes.
"Because it is fun. Meet me at the seaside." Enrique kissed her and then got up.
He slowly walked down the steps toward the beach side and inhaled deeply. He looked around. When the clouds cleared up it was going to be a beautiful day—an uncertain day for him. He picked up a pebble and threw it in the sea. He was trying not to contemplate the worst-case scenario, that Colleen would go back to Isaiah, that she would leave him.
He was so lost in thought he didn't hear her coming behind him.
"I am not really in the mood to jog." Colleen pushed her hand in the side of her track suit blazer.
Enrique threw the remaining pebbles in the sea. "That's fine. Can you talk now?"
"Yes." Colleen sighed. "Sorry about last night."
Enrique raised a brow. "How was the reunion?"
"Emotional. I mean, this is a huge deal. I couldn't believe it when Maureen called and said Isaiah was back." Colleen sighed again. "I have no idea what to do."
They walked for a while, with Enrique running the word emotional through his head. What did that mean? He didn't want to even think about it. He thought about Isaiah instead.
If he had gone missing for five years and everybody had thought him dead, when he returned the first thing he would do was make love to Colleen. He'd say hi, greet everybody and grin, but he would have wanted to reaffirm his attachment to her in the most elemental way possible. Had Isaiah done that?
He couldn't bear to think about the two of them making love. He was not the sharing kind of guy. He preferred to be completely clueless where this was concerned; he did not want images.
He changed the topic somewhat and turned to her. "Do you know this song: ‘would you rather stay with the one who loves you or are you going back to the one you love?’"
Colleen picked up a shell, brushing the sand off and then looked at him. "No, I don't know the song."
"’Someone's going to cry when they know they've lost you; someone's going to thank the stars above.’ Glenn Frey is the artist. I don't want to be the one crying after all this."
Colleen hunched her shoulders and stopped walking. "I wish there was a manual for a situation like this."
Enrique sighed. "But this sort of thing doesn't happen every day. I get that you have a choice to make."
He stopped and stood in front of her. He could see the way her lashes tilted up like a mini paintbrush. It was one of the many things he liked about her.
"I'll wait until you figure it out. I am the new guy. The one who has to battle with years and years of Isaiah memories. And let’s face it, you never did get over him."
He held her hands and clutched them close to his heart.
"I love you though," he released her, "more than I can say."
Colleen felt a stinging behind her eyes. "So what do you think I should do?"
"Do what makes you happy," Enrique said, kissing her softly, "and only that."
He ran down the sand, leaving Colleen to look after him. She sank down where she was and looked at the sea. Isaiah had said the very same thing to her.
Do what makes you happy.
That was no advice at all.
*****
Enrique spent most of the afternoon and early evening in the study. He had several conference calls, and Colleen found herself feeling guilty. She was the reason that he was here; she was messing with his work life. Renata stopped by at three. Enrique was still in the office.
"I was in the neighborhood," Renata said breezily, when Colleen opened the door, "but really I am just dying to know about the drama surrounding you. My parents are worried sick about Enrique. They think you are going to leave him for your other husband." Renata laughed. "I am perishing for Irwin to ask me to marry him and here you are with two husbands."
Colleen sat across from Renata. "It is crazy, isn't it?"
"Oh, before I forget," Renata opened her bag and pulled out a cell phone, "this is for you. Enrique told me to get one for you."
"Thanks." Colleen looked down at the phone. "He is so thoughtful. I left my phone in New York."
"Well there you go, one reason to stay with him," Renata said. "Without even knowing the other guy, he's the better of the two."
"Stop it, Renata." Enrique came to the doorway; his hair looked tousled. "Colleen can make up her own mind without coercion. I won't have it any other way."
"Are you hungry?" Colleen jumped up. "I fixed something."
"Sure, thanks." Enrique smiled at her and then his office phone rang. "I was expecting this call, I won't be too long."
He turned back to the office and Renata followed Colleen to the kitchen.
"Talk to me," she said urgently.
Colleen told her an abbreviated version of what happened.
Renata's eyes widened. "Ooh."
"No advice?" Colleen asked.
"No." Renata grabbed two oranges and started juggling. "I get why Enrique doesn't want me to convince you of anything. He doesn't want you to be forced to stay with him. It would not sit well with him. With any man."
"Something's wrong with me," Colleen said morosely, lean
ing on the fridge. "My friend Maureen didn't think twice. She got divorce papers drawn up overnight and she was down here with them the next day."
Renata put down the oranges and looked at her sympathetically. "I feel like warning you not to hurt my brother and telling you to do the same, but then again, I am not unbiased, am I?"
Colleen nodded. "Maybe I should ask God for a sign?"
"That would work." Renata got up and stretched. "Or maybe he already gave you a sign to move on just before he rescued Isaiah. Think about that."
*****
After Renata left, Colleen was sitting on the veranda alone with a glass of juice clutched in her hand. The ice had long melted but she still clutched it, staring out at the familiar view and not really seeing it.
Enrique had grabbed lunch with them and had quickly become embroiled in another telephone conference. Colleen called Miss Lou and Isaiah answered. She was slightly shocked to hear his voice over the phone. It still hadn't sunk in that he was here and not dead.
"Hey," she said. "I didn't expect you to answer."
"Mama gave me her phone," Isaiah said. "She is going to get another one."
"Oh good," Colleen said suddenly tongue-tied. She didn't know what to say to Isaiah. They had never had that problem before. Usually talking with him was always easy.
"They are having a party for me at Mama's restaurant tonight; want to come over?"
"Sure," Colleen said. "What time is it?"
"Seven o'clock. It's still the weekday," he explained. "But it seems the community wants to welcome us back and they can't wait."
Colleen chuckled. "Okay, I will be there at seven."
"Wait!" Isaiah said urgently. "Don't go yet. How is your day going so far? I was thinking about you all day today."
"My day is okay. I am just chilling."
"You know, you never told me where it is that you are living. Is it over at Hibiscus Lodge with the Lopezes?"
"No, I am staying at a villa," she said vaguely. "I'll see you tonight."
She hung up the phone and jumped guiltily when she looked around and saw Enrique at the doorway to the veranda, a fierce frown on his face.
"Colleen, what are you doing?" His voice was ridiculously even and at variance with his expression.
"I just called Miss Lou, Isaiah's mother, but he answered the phone."
Enrique sighed.
"I need time, Enrique, to process all this, and I need to see Isaiah too. I am going to a party for him tonight." Colleen's lips trembled and she clamped them together. "For the past couple of months, I've been rushed into everything."
Enrique visibly blanched but he did not protest as he was itching to do.
"I am not like you or even Maureen. I like to take my time to sort things out. You guys are so decisive; you know what you want and you go after it. Both of you bulldoze your way through life. I like to savor each moment, not rush through them."
She spun around and stared out at the sea. "If you had not rushed me into marriage, we would not be in this situation."
Enrique stood beside her. "What do you think would happen if I was not as decisive and gave you time? It would be high school all over again. You would push me away even though you know how attracted we are to each other, while you continue grieving for Isaiah. You got so used to grieving for the guy, now that he is back you are still grieving about him."
Colleen gasped. "That's not true."
"Yes it is," Enrique said harshly. "You need people in your life to push you because you take too much time savoring each moment about everything. Even the bad times. It's as if you like pain.
"You need to make up your mind about me and Isaiah. The longer you take, the more hurt someone will get. I am thinking neither of us, Isaiah or myself, wants you to take your time with this. Life is constantly moving. We have to move with it. I am not going to be hanging around, Colleen, while you savor this moment. I am sorry."
"What are you saying?" Colleen asked fearfully.
"I am saying that you need to make up your mind with a bit more alacrity, that's all." Enrique went into the house and back into the study. "Put one of us poor sods out of our misery. For the record, I hate the fact that you are going to see him tonight at some party."
Colleen was left with an itchy feeling of uncertainty. Did this mean that he was giving up on her? Why did she feel so bereft at the thought of Enrique leaving? She sank in the chair.
Chapter Fourteen
Enrique pointedly left the house at six. "I am going over to Hibiscus Lodge," he said, not looking at her. He placed a car key on the center table. "You can use my car to go to your party."
Colleen was about to tell him no thanks, she would walk, but he left before she could speak.
She showered and changed into a pair of jeans shorts and a white t-shirt. Miss Lou's place was sandy and she contemplated wearing sneakers or flip-flops.
Flip-flops won and she headed down the picturesque walkway, stopping to smell one of the yellow roses whose thick petals hung over the walkway. She strolled down the road; the roadway was not quite as busy at this time of the day. She reached a mango tree at the top of the community and realized that Isaiah was standing there.
"Hi," Colleen grinned. "What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for you," Isaiah said. "I knew you'd have to come from that direction. Dan told me that you live in one of those posh villas. I asked him after you seemed to be reluctant to tell me."
Colleen nodded. What could she say? She had been reluctant to tell him.
"So," Isaiah stood beside her, "how are you?"
"Fine. You smell nice. Bathing in your Brut again?"
Isaiah laughed. "Yes. The same bottle that you left on the dresser."
He grabbed her hand in his. "I feel ridiculously pleased to see you. I wish you had stayed last night."
"I couldn't." Colleen looked at him. "Sorry."
"That's okay. I know this is sudden, me coming back from the dead and all of that, and that I need to be patient while you wrap things up with Enrique. Colleen?"
"Huh?" Colleen looked at Isaiah guiltily.
"You are wrapping things up with him, aren't you? Telling him sorry but I am your rightful husband and all of that...aren't you? I need you back home. I need you. Full stop."
"It's not that easy." Colleen increased her pace and Isaiah moved in step beside her, giving her a confused look.
"What is not that easy? You just got married to him the other day. After a whirlwind courtship. That's what you told me. You didn't even spend a couple of days together before you tied the knot."
"Yes, but...I have feelings for him," Colleen moaned, "deep feelings. I am not a switch that can easily switch my feelings on and off."
"Okay," Isaiah said, holding up his hands. "You are not a switch. I get it. Maybe I should talk to him and tell him to back off. He is pressuring you to stay with him, isn't he? As your husband I have that right to tell him to leave you alone."
Colleen's hands trembled. "There is no need for that. And no he is not pressuring me. He is my husband too; this little triangle is affecting him just like it is you."
"Don't remind me that he is your husband too and that I have to share you with him," Isaiah said huskily. "I think I get angry every time I think about him and you in bed..."
He stopped. "It's the money, isn't it? Is that why you can't just leave, because I am not rich like him?"
"For heaven's sake," Colleen hissed. "No, it's not the money."
"So why is it so hard to just tell him goodbye and walk down the street to our home? You haven't even packed up your stuff; all your things are still there. All our memories are there. You know what that says to me?" Isaiah looked at her earnestly. "You never wanted to leave in the first place."
"But I did leave," Colleen swallowed, "and I enjoyed my time with Enrique and just when I was getting used to being Colleen Lopez, you came back."
Isaiah closed his eyes. "That's too much information. Information I don't
need."
"Sorry," Colleen murmured.
"I need a drink." Isaiah muttered. "This is distressing."
"You don't drink," Colleen looked at him, surprised.
"But this whole scenario will drive anyone to it," Isaiah said. He turned his liquid brown eyes to her. "You need to come back home, and soon. I think I am on the knife-edge of going crazy without you. It is one thing to be away from you and another to have you at arm’s length and not be able to touch you. Have mercy, Colleen, put me out of my misery."
*****
It seemed as if everybody in the neighborhood came out to party, welcoming Isaiah and Greg home. When they arrived at Miss Lou's place by the beachside there were already fishermen there who had just got in from getting their pots. There was a flurry of activity going on around Miss Lou's shop.
Some men were roasting breadfruit, others were roasting sweet potatoes and then there was the smell of sizzling fried fish.
The scent and smoke and the throbbing music from the loudspeakers almost gave Colleen a nauseous sensation. She looked around at the grinning faces and the smoke-infused activity and forced herself not to throw up.
Miss Lou saw them and waved and she waved back. Miss Lou was too busy to give her her undivided attention, so she didn't bother to go closer to the shop.
She murmured to Isaiah, "I am going to sit over there." She pointed to an old boat that the locals used as a hangout spot. It was away from the smoke and the throbbing, heavy music.
"Don't go," Isaiah said, holding on to her as he greeted people from the community who had not really gotten the chance to see him.
She slipped away when he got distracted and walked to the boat. Breathing in a grateful sigh of relief and relaxing in the seat, she watched the skies through slit eyes; the sun would not set until way after seven, and it was going to be glorious. The sky was already painted in a pink-orange glow with swaths of magnetic blue sky peeping through the brightness.
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