by L. C. Mawson
“He said he wasn’t the only one,” Em said quietly.
“Huh?”
“He said that he wasn’t the only one who figured it out.”
“He said that he probably wasn’t.”
Em sighed, turning around in her chair. Usually when she mirrored Love, she still looked younger somehow. Now she looked much older. Love wondered when she'd last slept.
“Claire, he’s the next non-Earthborn Dishar in line for the throne. Do you honestly think no one’s going to come looking for him? That no one will try to hunt his murderers?”
“They might assume the monsters got him,” Love tried, but Em shook her head.
“It’s unlikely. At the very least, they’ll send someone to investigate. And if that someone finds out that we’re next in line...”
“Then we tell them that we don’t want their ridiculous crown with its archaic rules and promise to stay out of their way. End of story.”
“Claire, I don’t think-”
“Em,” Love said, cutting her off, “let’s not borrow problems from the future. We can’t do anything about it now. If they come, they come. If they don’t, they don’t. We can’t stop them and we can’t hide. So, let’s not worry.”
Em sighed. “That sounds much easier than it is...”
Love shrugged. “Well, I think the first thing to do is to come downstairs and distract yourself. Come on, the others are training Jel and I think they could use some encouragement. They’ve never fought before in their life.”
“That sounds familiar...”
“Oh, and Em?”
“Yeah?”
“I... You don’t have to call me Claire anymore. I think... I think I’m ready to be Love full-time now.”
Em smiled at her. “Okay then.”
Love smiled back as they entered the lift, heading downstairs.
THE DOOR OF THE LIFT opened at the training floor, revealing Hate standing, waiting there.
“Hey, is it okay if I borrow your sister for a bit?” Hate asked Em, her voice a little higher than usual. “Pain is waiting for you through there.”
“That’s fine,” Em said before leaving the two of them alone.
“Love-”
“Hate-”
They both laughed a little.
They hadn’t talked since the mission. Not really. It had all been polite small talk and awkward silences. Love was ready for them to just figure out where they were going now.
“Have you ever been to the roof?” Hate asked her.
“No,” she admitted. “Wait, we can go to the roof?”
Hate smiled. “Yeah. Want to see?”
Love nodded, following her into the lift. She played with her hair as the lift crawled up to the roof. She knew, intellectually, that the lift was actually faster than most, but it still felt like an eternity of silence.
As soon as the doors opened, they both hurried out, as if the silence outside would be better.
“I...” Hate started, but Love cut her off.
“You’re not going to tell me that we can’t be together again, are you?”
Hate bit her lip, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet for a few moments before answering. “Part of me wants to. Part of me still thinks this is a bad idea.”
Love scoffed. “Oh, come on! We were amazing against Geral. Face it, Hate, we’re the rare exception that’s better together.”
Hate smiled, confusing Love a little. She’d just lost an argument - or, at least, if she was going to keep fighting out of pride, she had to know that it was a losing battle - and she was smiling.
“You really believe that, don’t you?” Hate asked, still smiling.
Love shrugged. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it.”
“Then okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.” Hate closed the space between them, giving Love a moment to see what she was going to do before kissing her. “Let’s try this,” Hate said as she pulled away a little.
Love grinned back at her.
“Okay.”
Author’s Note
It feels so weird, after working on a project for over two years, to finally publish it. Two years is a really long time. Especially at the minute... Let’s just say that this was the only thing I wrote before 2016 that I could still publish today without it seeming wildly out of date.
Clearly the only solution to making sure a work doesn’t seem dated is to include some kind of dragon. Dragons never go out of style.
Of course, if the “autism is a neo-liberal conspiracy theory” people win the discourse wars, most of my work will become instantly dated. If I needed an incentive to get this PhD I’m applying for...
Anyway, you don’t want to hear me ramble. You want to find out what happens in Book Two, probably!
Well, don’t worry, I have a preview for you. Though, as you’re reading this, Book Two is likely already out, so you could just skip on ahead to the “buy the next book in the series” thing that pops up on your Kindle. I know I usually do that when I already know I’m going to read on...
Book Two Preview
Love couldn’t help but smile as she woke up to the familiar feeling of her girlfriend’s arm around her.
As much as Hate worried, Love couldn’t conceive of her power failing her when she woke up like that every morning.
She turned to see Hate still sound asleep, her jet black hair sticking to her face a little.
Love’s smile widened at the sight, though it didn’t last long. Hate’s calm features quickly morphed into a frown, and she began to toss and turn.
Love immediately grabbed her shoulders, trying to jolt her awake before her nightmares resulted in the use of her powers.
That could get messy.
Thankfully, Hate awoke with a gasp before her powers activated, her eyes welling with tears as she turned to Love and realised what had happened.
“Are you okay?” Love asked after a moment.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Hate managed.
Love knew that it was a lie, but she also knew that the lie meant that the nightmare had been nothing out of the ordinary.
Ever since they had dealt with Geral – or, rather, Hate had dealt with Geral by frying him to a crisp – she'd struggled to sleep.
“What time is it?” Hate asked as she rubbed her eyes, in a transparent attempt to change the subject.
Love glanced over to the clock. “Just after eight.”
“We’ve slept in.”
Love shrugged. “After our success yesterday, I think it’s allowed.”
Hate smiled as she finished rubbing her eyes, leaving the area more than a little red. “So you’re not interested in celebratory dinner, but you are interested in celebratory lie-ins?”
Love shrugged again before stretching her arms above her head. “It’s not usually something we get to have. Speaking of, shouldn’t Justice have called us about being late for morning drills?”
Hate smirked. “She’s probably pretty occupied herself.”
Love couldn’t help but smirk back, shaking her head. “Perhaps this will mean that, in the future, she will be a little more lenient about us being occupied in the morning.”
“Speaking of,” Hate said, her voice low and husky with sleep as she leaned in to capture her girlfriend’s lips in hers.
Love was just about to move her hand up from Hate’s waist to her chest when they were interrupted by a knock at the door.
They fell apart with a groan as Hate yelled, “What is it?”
The door opened to reveal Empathy. She looked mostly like Justice, but she had Loneliness’ golden blonde hair and full figure.
Her skin lightened to match Hate’s as she entered, her hair darkening to match Love’s.
Her cheeks quickly turned pink as she stepped into the room, the door closing behind her as she averted her gaze.
Love realised that she must have picked up on what they had been doing before she entered.
&nb
sp; She cleared her throat before asking, “So, what do you need, Em?”
“I just... I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you would be... I just thought you could help.”
Love frowned. “Help with what?”
Empathy sighed. “I’m not sure. I scratched my hand during morning drills with Pain, but the medkit was out of plasters. I went to the infirmary to get more, but Justice and Loneliness were already in there. They were arguing.” Empathy looked down at her hand. “I didn’t even need the plaster, it turns out. As soon as I changed to look like someone else, it healed up.”
“Do you know what they were fighting about?” Hate asked. “It’s not like them to fight. At least, not in a public place.”
Empathy shrugged. “It was hard to make out. I think Loneliness passed out? But for some reason, Justice was mad at her. Or at least, Loneliness thought she was. I was mostly in Loneliness’ head, which was why I came here. She was close to a meltdown, and I don’t think Justice realised. I would have said something, but I couldn’t talk while I was around them.” She nodded to Love. “I thought you might be the best person to go and see what was happening. Loneliness might just need another autistic person with her.”
Love nodded as she got out of bed, quickly pulling on a hoodie over her pyjamas. “Okay, I’ll go see what’s happening.”
Hate frowned. “They might not want anyone intruding on this argument.”
Love shrugged. “Then they shouldn’t have had it in a public place. Empathy has already heard half of it, so better that I listen to the rest than leave it be. Especially if Empathy is right about Loneliness being on the verge of meltdown.”
Hate nodded with a sigh. “You need me to come with you?”
Love shook her head. “I shouldn’t be long. And while one of us should definitely go and see what’s happening, more than one person would probably be too much.”
“Then I’ll be here when you get back.”
LOVE ENTERED THE INFIRMARY and quickly came to the conclusion that Empathy’s assessment was correct.
Justice was pacing up and down the room, clearly agitated, while Loneliness was sitting silent and still, except for the hand that she was hitting against the corner of the metal frame of the examination table she was sitting on.
The meat of her palm made next to no noise as the metal cut into it, leaving blood trailing down out of Justice’s sight.
Love sighed, recognising that Loneliness was doing her best to hide her distress, but the question was why...
“So, are we finally past this madness? Can we just get on with it?” Justice demanded as she finally stopped pacing, facing her girlfriend.
Loneliness shook her head, and Love suspected that she wouldn’t have been able to speak even if she wanted to.
Justice let out a frustrated sigh before shaking her head. “Fine,” she said quickly. “We’ll do it tonight. You know that Bennett won’t give us any more time than that. Hell, we’ll be lucky if she gives us even a few hours. But fine, it doesn’t have to be now. Just... Familiarise yourself with the procedure or whatever else is bothering you and then we can just get this over with.”
She turned towards the door, hesitating for just a moment as she saw Love, though she quickly got over her surprise and stormed right past her.
As soon as she was out of the room, tears began to stream down Loneliness’ face.
“Are you okay?” Love asked as she approached.
Loneliness shook her head.
“Can you talk?”
Another shake.
“Can you sign?”
Another shake.
“Okay, that’s fine. Empathy overheard some of your argument before, but your emotions were running so high that she couldn’t really make sense of what was going on. She said that you passed out?”
Loneliness nodded.
“Why would you passing out make Justice angry with you?”
Loneliness pointed over to the terminal next to her.
Love frowned a little before realising that there was some kind of scan on the display. She wished for Empathy’s ability to absorb the medical knowledge for a few moments, before realising that even she recognised what was in front of her.
“That’s a baby, right?” Love asked as she turned back to Loneliness. “I mean, not yet, but that’s an early scan of one before it’s born, right?”
Loneliness nodded, her hand going to her lower abdomen.
“Oh,” Love managed as the pieces clicked into place. “That’s your scan?”
Another nod.
“You’re pregnant?”
Another nod.
“And Justice is the... Other mother?”
Another nod.
“So, what’s the problem? Why was Justice mad?”
“Because it’s against the rules,” Loneliness eventually managed, her voice hoarse. “And Jay always has to follow the damn rules.”
“But you’re already pregnant. I mean, are they really going to punish you for that?”
“They don’t consider it a punishment. And apparently, neither does Jay. As far as they’re concerned, they would just be correcting my mistake...”
Love fell silent as she realised what Loneliness meant.
“But they can’t force you into that, can they?”
Loneliness gave her a sad smile. “I’m sorry to say that they can. Once we become Aspects, everything about our lives becomes theirs to control. We don’t have rights or autonomy anymore. We don’t even keep our names. Having a baby would jeopardise my ability to be in the fight, not to mention my ability to draw my power. Jay isn’t wrong in saying that Bennett will force the issue. I just thought she would be on my side, not theirs.”
“I... I knew that we handed over nearly every aspect of our lives to them but forcing you to have an abortion if you want to keep the baby... I mean, I’m assuming you want to keep it, and that’s the problem.”
Loneliness looked away with a sigh. “Did you know that Justice and I used to know each other before we became Aspects? I can’t really remember a time when I didn’t have a crush on her. As soon as I knew what that meant, I knew that I had those feelings for her. Not that I would have ever done anything about it. I didn’t exactly have a lot of friends as a kid, and past experiences put me off wanting to approach anyone new. But Vengeance was playing with his friends one day and accidentally kicked the ball over to me, hitting me in the head.
“He apologised, and Justice decided to take me to the nurse to get patched up. She stayed with me the whole time and asked if I wanted to play with them afterwards. I was never very good at team sports, so she sat with me instead and talked with me about the book I had been reading.
“The next time there was a school dance, she asked me to go with her. Or rather, she asked Vengeance to ask me for her.” Loneliness smiled, but it had a bittersweet edge to it. “We were together from then onwards. We were going to go to university together and then move in together and get married and have kids... There was this whole intricate plan...”
Loneliness trailed off, and it didn’t take long for Love to realise what had happened next.
“Then one of you became an Aspect.”
Loneliness nodded. “Justice and Vengeance just disappeared one day. I went to their house, and their mother was crying... She said that they had been taken away and assured me that if Justice had been given a choice, she would have said goodbye. I remember not being sure if I actually would have preferred that or not. I mean, how do you say goodbye to someone you were supposed to spend the rest of your life with?”
“So when did you become an Aspect?”
“About a year later. Without the twins... I loved Justice with everything I had, but Vengeance was my best friend outside of her. I didn’t really have anyone else. All of my other friends were really their friends who just kind of put up with me. And I lost contact with most of them when I went to university anyway. Let’s just say it wasn’t a surprise when they told me that I was
the next Aspect of Loneliness.
“I asked if I could live at this Tower with the twins, but I was told that being near them would weaken my power. So I could finally see the only two people I had ever been close to again but only when the job dictated.
“To be honest, I wasn’t sure that Justice would still even care about me. I mean, it had been a year, and she’s pretty amazing. I just assumed that she would have found someone else. But then I saw her again and...”
A hand went to a locket under her shirt.
“Justice gave me this when we were still in school. It was supposed to be a promise that we would stay together. When she saw that I still had it... Well, I guess things just went from there.
“I knew that we couldn’t have what we had before. I knew that we couldn’t live together or get married or have kids... I always thought that it was unfair, but I understood before. The monsters were actively trying to get into the cities and hurt people. But now?
“This wasn’t intentional. I’m just kind of bad about remembering to take contraception... But yeah, I’ve known this was a possibility for a while now, and I have avoided getting any medical tests done. Not that that’s difficult anymore, given that we Aspects barely have a job... I swear, if this had happened a year ago, I would have just dealt with it. But it doesn’t seem fair now. Not when the monsters are no longer threatening the cities. Why can’t Justice and I just have this.” Tears welled up in her eyes again. “Not that she actually appears to want it anymore...”
“Justice seemed more than a little riled up before,” Love reasoned. “Maybe she wasn’t thinking straight in the heat of the moment.”
Loneliness sighed. “No, I know her too well. This is against the rules, and she has always been someone who follows the rules.”
“That doesn’t sound much like justice to me.”
Loneliness gave a sad smile. “Well, no, I suppose she has broken the occasional rule, when she deemed that rule unjust. I thought she would this time, but evidently not...”
“I’ll go talk to her. Maybe she just needs someone else to go over this with.”
Loneliness nodded. “I guess I’ll just wait here until Bennett comes to force things.”