by Low, Gennita
“Directive for what?” she finally asked. That made him grin, showing blindingly white teeth. He licked his lips.
“All beautiful women must be made love to as often as possible. The directive to stay in bed all day. Not to eat. Not to sleep.”
“All? All day?” She sounded like a teenager for a second. Did he notice?
He nodded. God, how she loved those honest blue eyes.
“And how many of those do you claim? I mean, do you do this often?” She hoped it didn’t sound jealous, but right now, lying underneath him, she didn’t want anyone else in the picture. There certainly wasn’t anyone else in hers.
“You caught me at a good time. I’m completely alone. And I’ve just come back from overseas.” He was not smiling.
“So does 5326 specify what I’m supposed to do?” She softened her question by lifting her head and meeting his lips gently and then lying back to watch him take it all in.
He was moving his callused palms over her shoulders, splaying his fingers up the side of her neck and into her hair, clutching, drawing her up to meet his lips again. Into her ear, he said, “How long can you go without food?”
Chapter Three
‡
A knock on the door followed by a key card woke him up. He’d forgotten about the checkout time for the room…it’d been lost somewhere between their lovemaking and his need for sleep to regenerate. He didn’t want to wake her, so eased out of bed and was headed to the door to lock it when the maid opened it wide, and shrieked at the sight of him standing there fully naked.
Luke grabbed a towel from the bathroom and wrapped it around his waist.
Of course, she hadn’t slept through the little drama at the front door. She was smiling up at him, angling her head.
“Forgot about housekeeping,” he said with a shrug.
“I’ll bet you made her day.”
Okay, he liked that. “I’m sure she’s seen worse,” he said honestly.
She sat up, pulling the sheet up over her chest, and he figured it was because he’d covered himself up with the towel.
“Are you hungry?” he asked.
She twisted her long hair, brought her knees to her chest under the covers, and closed her eyes. “Starved.”
“Shower?”
“Love to.” She uncovered, showing the flat tummy and abundant breasts that were more than a handful, but just right. She had hips, and a nice ass but narrow waist. She wasn’t overly buff or cut, but well toned, and had the softest skin he’d ever felt. His package was coming to life as she walked in front of him, and allowed her hip to touch his member ever so slightly, jacking his libido into a bonfire.
She got as far as the shower curtain before he could grab her arm and draw her tight against his chest. He got lost in the deep kiss he urgently initiated. His hand fisted in the back of her hair as her little mewling sounds drove him to pull her tighter.
She melted against him, all her curves and valleys blending to complement his hardness. He was breathless, his heart slamming against his ribcage. He wondered if they should consider not going out, but willed himself to separate from her and search her face.
He didn’t even know her name. He suddenly didn’t want to ask her. That was such bad form. Wasn’t the guy supposed to ask all those questions before having sex? He couldn’t remember ever screwing up this way, and what would she think if he asked her now?
He decided just to kiss her again and forget about it until later.
She initiated the sex in the shower. He decided he’d try to pretend it was a welcome surprise, but it was secretly what he’d been wishing forever since the maid woke them up. What a perfect way to begin a Saturday morning.
He waited until their coffee arrived before he asked her.
“I’m a little embarrassed about this, but I don’t even know your name.”
He was relieved to see she smiled without appearing to take offense. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
He started sorting through all the things they’d done in less than twenty-four hours. He had to look down at his coffee mug or he’d do a very unmanly thing: blush.
She reached across the little Formica table. “Hi. My name is Julie.”
He took her hand. “And I’m Luke.”
“Nice to meet you, Luke.”
“Likewise.”
She placed her hand back in her lap, took a deep breath and let it all out again. Picking up her cappuccino, she said, “Well, that’s better, then.”
He was thinking it was a little backwards, but he wasn’t going to complain. “So, Julie, what do you do?”
“I’m a teacher.”
He nearly spit out his coffee. “No way.”
He could see she didn’t particularly like his reaction. “Sorry.” He softened his gaze, enjoying the way her curls framed her beautiful face. He felt nerves crash in on his blissful morning.
“You don’t think teachers like to have a little fun?”
“Not the teachers I had.” Don’t want to think about the teachers I knew.
“Well it’s not like we watch porn in the classroom.” She tilted her head, watching him out of the corners of her eyes.
“You watch porn, too—when you’re not in the classroom, that is?”
“No, silly. Not really. But I do like erotic films, you know.”
Well…all righty, then. He wondered what those films were. But instead of going there, his need to get his bearings kicked in and he asked, “So you teach high school, college level?”
She laughed. “No, silly. Second grade.”
That did make him spit out his coffee. He was quick to cover his mouth with a napkin.
Damn. Just my damned luck.
“I’m sorry, but why is this a problem for you?” she asked. She was not smiling.
“It’s not a problem for me. It’s just that—” He didn’t want to tell her that his last girlfriend had been a teacher. And that relationship had ended badly, tragically. He searched for something she could buy that would keep her from digging any further. “I don’t get along very well with teachers. Even when I was a student I didn’t.”
“Apparently that’s not true,”
Her eyes danced when she smiled. He loved that part of her, but his insides were thickening and getting dark. He felt it coming on. He tried to sound casual, tried not to show it.
Please drop the subject, Julie. Please.
“I thought we got along very well together last night,” she said with a smile wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
He had to agree. The sex had been fantastic. But that was before he realized she was a teacher.
“You have kids?” she asked.
He winced. Why couldn’t she stop with the questions? “No. I’m not even married.”
“That has nothing to do with having kids.”
That was true, but it pissed him off that she’d asked.
Don’t go there. Remember your boundaries.
One of the men on SEAL Team 3 had five children out of wedlock with three different mothers. “The answers are no, and no.” He could feel his defenses spring to life. That protective shell was slamming into place around his heart, placing armor all around it. He could almost hear the hinges squeaking from disuse. It was automatic. Nothing he could do to stop it.
“So, what do you do?”
Well darn it, there it was again. Luke wasn’t in the habit of telling people he was a SEAL, or even that he was in the Navy, since they wouldn’t believe him anyway, due to his longer than military-grade haircut. He gave her the line he told most women, “I’m a Fed Ex driver.” He was hoping she’d buy it and then just drop all the questions.
“No way you’re a FedEx Driver.”
“I still can’t believe you’re a teacher.” Her instincts were good, he thought. But there was no way in hell he was going to tell her he was a SEAL.
“Why is that so hard for you to believe? You didn’t think teachers like to have fun?”
He tried to deliver his response so she’d just leave it all alone. He sucked it up and answered, “Just doesn’t fit the image. And I’ve dated a few teachers. And they definitely weren’t into having sex on the beach.” After he’d said it, he wondered if it had been a smart move. Maybe he was showing too much of his callused, damaged side. “Julie, look, I’m sorry. That sounded, um.”
The waitress appeared at the table and took their order.
After she left, Julie was smiling down at her coffee. “You know, we didn’t have sex on the beach. You took me to a motel, remember?”
“Well, yes.”
So far so good. Maybe we can still weather this conversation.
“Okay, so architects and FedEx Drivers can meet a girl and want to have sex with her. Doctors can do it. Coeds, maybe military types,” she looked up at him and grinned, “those tats, by the way, look oddly suspicious—all these people can hook up on the beach but a teacher can’t? Don’t you see what’s wrong with that picture?”
She had a point, but he wished she’d stop using that word teacher. “Okay, I agree with you. Maybe I do have some preconceived ideas, and maybe that’s unfair of me. Concerning t—” He couldn’t even say the word now. His mind raced to find something else they could talk about. “Now, librarians—”
“Grow up, get married, have sex and have babies. Just like everybody else.”
He kind of liked her smart mouth and the fact that he couldn’t talk her down, even though he’d given her all the signs. Even though he was getting uneasy. “Julie, I apologize.”
“Accepted.” She toyed with the rim of her coffee cup with one forefinger. “So you’ve dated teachers, then. I assume we’re talking dating and not just anonymous sex at the beach.”
Damn it. Would you just stop it?
“I don’t do anonymous sex at the beach,” he worked to keep all the emotion out of his voice.
“Right.” She grinned. Her dark eyes flashed him a knowing smile that would have interested his libido earlier this morning. But not now. The dark side had taken over.
She was twisting everything around. Everything she said was annoying him. “I think we need to take a couple of steps back, here, sweetheart.”
She blinked twice and waited for him to continue, so he did.
“I mean you no disrespect, but I warned you last night. I don’t do complicated.”
“Talking is complicated?”
The talking wasn’t complicated, he thought, it was the revealing his inner demons that had him concerned. No, that wasn’t right. It had him scared to death. He’d had enough. The wall had been breached.
So much for building a relationship on trust and honesty.
But then he remembered he wasn’t interested in a relationship with anyone. Especially a teacher.
Chapter Four
‡
Julie knew better than to ask him if anything was wrong as they drove back to her apartment. He wasn’t going to reveal anything about himself.
If she really dug for answers, she might get stories and half-truths, just like the story about him not being in the military. She not only recognized the tats, she recognized some of the patterns of behavior. And that was beginning to send off warning signals.
It wasn’t for her to judge, although she liked him. Did it matter she didn’t know where he grew up, what he really did? It hadn’t mattered last night. Why should it matter now?
She believed that he was single. She didn’t see him as someone who would lie about that. She was sure he was not a FedEx Driver. The huge shoulders and trim hips reminded her of her brother’s friends who had been assigned to the Special Ops Command in Coronado.
She wasn’t an expert on delivery driver tats, either, but she knew plenty of Special Ops guys with skulls and other extreme symbols inking up their bodies. The skull plastered between his shoulder blades was a dead giveaway. Luke’s barbed wire rings and bands of Celtic crosses were exactly what all the elite warrior types had.
Julie was trying to talk herself into believing she didn’t mind that he was private. But she just couldn’t understand why he wanted to be private today, when last night and this morning he’d been another man. And that’s the man she wanted to have sitting next to her right now.
What the heck happened?
She recalled watching him at the beach before they spoke last night. She’d felt safe to intrude into his private space there, insert herself into his world.
Did I really do that?
They’d had sex, what, five or six times? She couldn’t ever remember doing that before. But there had been something about the man who’d been sitting there, looking out over the whitecaps, drinking beer and clearly feeling melancholy that had tugged on her heartstrings. Maybe she’d had no right to assume he wanted company. But then he seemed to need, in fact had even told her he’d needed, what she gave him. She didn’t think that was a lie, either.
They rode in silence past familiar streets, front porches and small picket fences and red tile roofs. She could feel him pulling away from her by the minute, though neither of them spoke. She got out her internal disclosure statement and double-checked her signature. Yup, she’d told herself this one could hurt if he never called her again. This type of guy was why she needed that disclosure statement in the first place. These were the ones where one moment you experienced the miracle of a life that could be, and the next you’d find yourself standing alone in the rain, locked out and without a friend.
She turned and decided to just do what she shouldn’t do. Ask him. What could it hurt? She knew he’d already made a plan, either with or without her. And she didn’t know any other way to reach him. She knew it wasn’t smart, but she had to try, or she’d regret it.
“So, what have I done, Luke?”
He had a vacant look, like he’d been deep in thought and had forgotten she was even in the car. She searched his eyes, but he didn’t look at her. All he did was lean in her direction while he kept his eyes on the road.
“It’s not you.”
“What does that mean, Luke?”
“Means you didn’t do anything wrong.”
That stung. Really sucked big time. It was difficult to keep the tears inside. But no way was she going to let him see her cry. She wanted the dignity of a good cry in private.
Except it was such an almost comical statement he’d made. In spite of what she thought was prudent, her lips turned up at the corners and she was about to laugh out loud.
She drew in a deep breath. “I did a lot of things last night, Luke, things I don’t normally do,” she said as he pulled over to the curb just outside her apartment complex. He started to get out and she put her hand on his forearm to stop him. “Did some zombie swoop down and take over your body? I’d like to know where the guy I fucked all night long went, Luke. If you run into him again, would you ask him to give me a call sometime?”
She let herself out of the car and heard swearing coming from his side of the front seat, and then out of the corner of her eye saw his towering frame stand up just outside the driver door.
“Look, Julie. Don’t blame yourself for any of this. It’s all on me.”
She turned and tilted her head until his eyes crept up to hers, and she finally was able to look directly into those icy blue wonders. She did see some pain and torment there, some of what she’d felt from his body language before they spoke for the first time last night.
“Well, Luke, that’s the most honest thing you’ve said to me in the last hour.”
He tore his gaze away and stared at the ground. The car was a suitable barrier between them, still running.
“I’m a pretty understanding person, but this is all on you. No big deal if I said something that triggered some—”
“Like I said,” he shouted over the sound of the car engine and over her voice. “It’s not something you did. It’s something that I did. And I’m sorry, but I’m not going to explain it.”
She watched as he angril
y threw himself back in the car and tore off down the street, squealing the tires as he rounded the corner. Out of her life forever.
Chapter Five
‡
Luke stopped by the Rusty Scupper for a couple of beers, even though it was barely noon. He sat at the bar, staring up at the pictures of guys they’d lost. The young Marine’s picture should have been up there, but this wall was reserved for SEALs and the boat crews.
Being a medic, he understood the symptoms of PTSD. He’d had to pull guys from the arena due to the havoc it would wreak on everyone in a stressful combat situation. And having a guy not 100% was dangerous for all the guys around him.
He was going to speak to Kyle, his LPO, first. The last deployment had been hell on all of them. It was his first with this new team, Team 3, since he’d transferred from the East Coast just prior to their workup. His sister lived in San Diego. At first it had seemed like the change of scenery had done the trick. At first. He’d enjoyed working alongside Cooper, the tall medic who’d served with Kyle on four prior tours. In fact, all the guys in Kyle’s platoon were solid.
The Navy knew why he’d requested a transfer. But Kyle didn’t, unless he’d read his jacket, and he doubted his LPO had found the time since they shipped out so soon after he arrived. With the escalating signs of trouble, his memory losses, mood swings, getting lost and finding himself places he didn’t remember traveling to, he knew Kyle would be all over him before it became a problem for all of them. If he wanted to stay in, and request a discharge, which felt more like ringing the DOR bell, Drop On Request, instead of completing the BUD/S training. He’d better take the initiative. He’d seen guys who tried to cover up their issues. It was never pretty.
Kyle sauntered in with Cooper at his side. The handsome leader flashed him a big, toothpaste smile. Cooper bent his enormous 6’4” frame in a silent bow.
“So, Paulsen, what can I do you for?” Kyle asked.
Luke briefly glanced over at Cooper and then looked back at his LPO. Nobody moved. Kyle was smart and wanted another pair of ears on this conversation, meaning he’d already begun to smell something.