by T K Barber
He frowned at that one and exhaled through his nose as he tucked hair behind her other ear. She studied his features with all her might, praying she'd remember every detail. Her stomach twisted again, and she pushed the fear down. She’d be fine. He’d be fine. She reached up and took his hand, holding it in her lap, looking down to trace his palm lines.
“They're warm . . . they're stro—”
He picked her hand up and kissed her palm, gesturing to her with his head before softly kissing her wrist.
“Don't let me stop you, go right on ahead. I'm listening, I swear.”
He winked as he kissed her other wrist and she laughed, poking him in the cheek. She pushed his head up, lips still puckered, to catch his gaze.
“Bottom line is, I think your hands are great. So, don’t go and get them chopped off or something crazy like that.”
He smiled and clicked his cheek, puffing his chest out again as he gently laid her hand back down.
“Puh-leaze. I'm unstoppable. I'm like a tornado. Or a hurricane. Or somethin'.”
He flexed his muscles in several poses with a different serious expression for each one, throwing glances at her. She laughed and clutched her sides as her heart stuttered.
He was so damn cute. He let his arms drop and flopped onto his side on the bed with a sigh. He tugged on her arm, and she laid the same way, facing him then they both propped their heads up on their hands.
“Heya gorgeous.”
It made her heart stutter every time he said that which was every time he saw her. Because he said it despite any bruises or cuts or swelling. She gave him as wide a smile as she could manage without too much pain.
“Hey yourself.”
“Anyone ever tell you you've got the best laugh ever?”
She shrugged her top shoulder and shook her head.
“Well, you do.”
He smiled and rolled onto his back, lacing his fingers behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Gull calls filled the sudden silence that blanketed the room, punctuating the spaces between her breaths and his. Random distant thuds and scrapes echoed into the room from the dock, making it sound like the room had its own heartbeat.
“Almost time for me to go.”
And there was the new pain she had. The one that didn't come from an attack. The one that came from longing and heartbreak. The one she was quite convinced would kill her all on its own.
She scooted closer to him and laid on his side as he wrapped his arm around her. Those words now had a profound effect on her. She’d be alone again, and she didn't know when he'd be back, or if he even would be. He didn't know either. She swallowed down fear again. And every time they got closer and closer, making each goodbye to him harder and harder.
“I guess it kind of goes without saying,” she trailed a finger along his collarbone. “But I really wish you didn't have to go.”
He adjusted his arm to pull her in tighter and breathed out through his nose. She nuzzled his chest with her chin, and his muscle jumped.
“Me too. Like ya don’t even know.”
He cleared his throat and rolled into her, gently pulling her flush against him. Her eyes went wide, and her heart slammed, but she smiled up at him as their bodies molded to each other.
“Whatcha doing there, sport?”
He crowed laughter and dropped his head back. “Sport?! Who says that?!” He laughed louder.
Her gaze fell to his chin. He was getting a quite sexy five o’clock shadow, and she bit her lip.
“Nick does. Just picked it up from him.”
Thomas nodded as his laughter died. “You've got a kick ass big brother, just want you to know.” He squeezed her gently.
“Can't wait for you to meet him,” she muttered, fully expecting that never to happen.
“But as for what I'm doing . . . I just wanted to hold ya. Close.” He hugged her tighter, then pulled back his face a little and grinned mischievously. “But I can't be held responsible for what you do once in the arms of such awesomeness.”
She laughed into his chest and squeezed him just as tightly. There was never enough time. And it seemed to go by faster and faster. What if today was the last time? Her heart slammed in fear. It could be. Especially if what he overheard was true.
She picked up her head, and he met her serious gaze. He creased his brow, causing his normally smooth skin to pinch up in the middle and loosened his embrace.
“Hey, what? Did I hurt you?”
She chewed her lip; afraid her voice would betray her if she spoke. He propped his head back up on his hand and traced her bottom lip with his thumb.
“Quit doin' that, or you'll chew it off. Then what'll I kiss?”
He was serious at first, but then a sly grin hit his mouth. She was too worried to be amused. Even so, in the back of her mind, she was and couldn’t fight the upturn of her mouth.
“Thomas. What if you don't get to come back?”
He sobered quickly.
“I dunno.”
His brows lowered, and the corners of his mouth drooped. He grabbed a lock of her hair and spun it around his index finger.
“I don't wanna think about it. Same time, it's all I’ve been thinking about.”
He dropped her hair, and pulled her back against him, tucking her head under his chin.
Safe. Even where she was, he was safe. His smell, his skin, his arms around her, his heartbeat. Safe. But not hers to keep, and always gone too soon.
Several more gulls interrupted the silence, somehow making it seem quieter. His heart rate quickened as he ran a pattern on her arm with his thumb.
“What sucks worst of all is there's . . . things . . . I wanna do with you.”
He pulled back and grinned like a Cheshire cat. She raised her eyebrows and smiled back. She had more than a few of those things in mind herself.
“But I don't want anything like that to happen here. No way I'd let this place ruin that memory.” A faint flush spread up his neck as he gazed down into her eyes. “Our first time's gonna be special.” He leaned in and placed a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose, causing her heart to flop, then grinned again. “Like, in a helicopter special. Or on top of a building. Something, I dunno.”
She laughed and poked him in the stomach again, making it jerk backward. He snatched her hand away and kissed it.
“Helicopter," she giggled. "You're so goofy.”
He shrugged and nodded, looking up at the sudden cacophony of bird noises coming in through the window.
She smirked and cocked an eyebrow. “Also, 'first' implies there's going to be a second.”
He snapped his head back and scowled at her, grinning underneath it.
“Ha! I'll have you know, you'll want at least three!”
“Oh, is that right?” She laughed, and poked him in the ribs, making his torso jump backward as he swatted her hands away.
“Cut that out! I'm too tough to be ticklish!”
She laughed again and made another determined attempt. That drew a growl of laughter from him as he rolled her over to pin her down. She wiggled a few times in futile attempt at escape.
He scanned her face and shook his head. “You're so beautiful, Anna. It oughta be illegal.”
Her laugh fell into a smile as heat rose to her cheeks, both from the compliment and the position. She cleared her throat.
“I'm glad you think so.” She glanced off to the side, but he pulled her face back with his finger.
“Nah. Thinking implies it's from my brain. This is from my heart.”
Those addictive, soulful eyes sucked her in again, and she already missed them. Already missed him. How was she going to handle the hole he left when that door closed behind him this time? If he didn’t come back, she’d fall right in and never come back out. Tears welled in her eyes, and he frowned.
“Don't do that,” he murmured as he caught one of the tears. “Smile for me.”
She
shook her head, several tears falling onto the bed, and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. He hugged her just as tight, wrapping his arms under her back.
“Anna, I'll make sure I come back, okay?” He placed several kisses on her neck. “Whatever I gotta do.”
Then her cheek. Then her mouth. She fought more tears and kissed him back. But she wanted more. Needed more. She teased his bottom lip with her tongue, and his shudder kickstarted her heart, as he hummed against her mouth.
Kissing him could never get old. Never.
He swept his tongue over hers in a sweet, delicate motion while lacing his fingers in her hair. He pulled away just one second after that and pressed his forehead to hers, grinning before he swallowed, then dramatically cleared his throat.
“Can't do one bit more of that, gorgeous. This ain't a helicopter.”
She laughed through her tears, but more came, and she hugged him close again. Eventually, he stood up, pulling her with him.
“I gotta go. Don't be too sad, yeah?”
Face to face, holding each other's hands, seconds before her heart swaggered out that door . . .how could he ask her to not be sad? They gazed into each other’s eyes, and she stuttered a breath. All she wanted to do was beg him not to go, or to take her with him. He bent down to press his forehead to hers again before he straightened up.
But she wouldn’t do either because both might get him in trouble. And his wellbeing was suddenly far more important than her own. God, when did that happen?
He thinned pursed lips and scowled but swallowed as he looked back at the handcuffs.
Time for her to be strong again. Should be used to it by now, but she could show Thomas her broken, hollow pieces. He filled them with his own, until they made one whole person, and she was tired of the swap. But she had no choice.
She roughly wiped her tears and squared her shoulders, offering him a small smile as she held out her hands.
“It's okay. At this point, I think of them as jewelry.”
He turned his face back to hers, and the shine on his eyes hitched her breath. How close his feelings ran to the surface was one of his most endearing qualities. He felt so much, everything really, and wasn't afraid to show it. Her heart flipped again.
“Anna, I swear to you. WHEN we get outta this, I'm gonna melt every single pair of cuffs I see.” He clutched them in his hand and glared at them like he wanted to snap them in half. “Then I'll make something beautiful out of them, and we'll sell it, and use the money to open the shop.” He flicked his gaze up to her. “Together.”
That . . . sounded amazing.
He gently put them back on her wrists and cleared his throat again.
She had a terrifying feeling she wouldn't live long enough to see it happen, and a sneaking suspicion he was afraid of that too. She wouldn't say it out loud, though. It was good for him to have some hope, even though she didn't. Hope looked good on him.
She nodded and leaned into his kiss, soaking up the feeling. When they broke apart, he tucked another lock of hair behind her ear.
“Don't say bye.”
He winked, straightened up his spine, and headed to the door.
She held her breath and managed a smile as she returned his small wave. The scrape on the frame and the muted thud of it closing ripped the hole in her heart back open, and she sat down hard on the edge of the bed, sobbing into her cuffed hands.
She loved a man she’d never get to be with. Ever.
Scarlet
“Sorry I wasn't . . .” Nick's smile fell, and he rubbed the side of his face as they exited the door, followed by the electronic entry alarm. “Earlier.”
Scarlet rotated and stopped walking. He followed suit but didn't face her.
“Sorry? Nick, you saved me. Again. It's not your fault that guy is a top-notch asshole.” His cheek twitched before he drew in the side of his mouth, giving Scarlet no small amount of satisfaction at being able to amuse him. “And as for your timing, you couldn't have changed that. I'm just unbelievably lucky that you were here at all.” She absently placed her hand on her shoulder. "What were you doing out here anyway?"
His back went rigid and he jammed his hand in his hoodie pocket, glancing once behind himself. "Just had to take care of something before heading home."
"Well, thank God for 'things.' Anyway, the worst thing'll be seeing him at work tomorrow.”
He whirled around to face her, eyes wide.
“You work with that guy?! You can't go back there!” He took a step and reached for her but withdrew his hand and ran it over his head instead. “What if he . . . I mean . . . Scarlet that's . . . how are you possibly . . . ?”
He groaned and scrubbed his hands down his face. She smiled, touched again by his boundless concern.
“It's okay. I can't very well just quit my job because of him. We only work in the same office building, anyway. And I know what time he gets there and leaves. I'll just adjust my time accordingly. It's no big deal.”
“No big . . .”
He plopped his hands on his hips as if he decided something important and shook his head.
“Come on, I'll . . . walk you home.”
“No thanks.”
His scrunched brows asked the question for him, and she gave him a weak smile.
“I don't want to go home. I don't really want to be alone right now.”
She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear again and swung her gaze out toward the vacant street. Talking and being with him was protecting her from the breakdown she figured was coming. She glanced back at him, and he was a picture of torment. He wavered between irritation, sadness, confusion and anger before he finally settled on dejected. It was an emotion she hadn't seen on him yet, and she didn't like it at all.
“I can't . . . stay . . . with you.” He strained against the words. “Is there someone you can call?”
Sure there was. Katelyn would be there in five minutes, tops. In fact, she was probably going literally insane with worry; Scarlet hadn't checked in at all tonight like she said she would. But she didn't want to be with Katelyn right now.
She shook her head and glanced back at the road trying to figure out how to tell him that without sounding like some desperate, crazy person.
They both turned back toward the store as they heard the rattle of the lowering metal security gate, which covered the entire storefront. The cute elderly owners waved at them before pulling the interior, solid gate down and locking it. They flicked off the open sign, and the darkness was barely kept at bay by the dim streetlamp in front of them.
A shiver ran down her spine. She heard Nick shuffle and refocused on him. In the yellow light his tan skin took on an almost golden hue, and she bit her lip reflexively as her mind filled with thoughts of running her hands over him. He blew out a breath and laced his hands behind his head, looking terribly distraught.
“Scarlet. Call a friend. Go home. Or go to a friend's. I'm . . .” He struggled again, and she frowned. “I've got to go.”
She wrapped her arms around her waist.
“Why? Why can't you just, I don't know, have coffee with me or something? You keep running away.”
He inhaled and dropped his hands in defeat, then jammed his hands into his hoodie pockets. His gaze dropped to one pocket and his jaw clenched.
“That's not a good idea.”
She twisted her mouth to the side and crossed her arms. “Why not?”
“It's just not!” He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “I'm not what you want. Whatever it is you think I might be for you . . . I'm not.”
She scoffed. “Nick, how could you possibly know what I want?”
“I just do.”
A shocked, irritated laugh shot out, and she held her arms out wide. “Then for the love of God, enlighten me!”
He scowled and crossed his arms.
This was the worst time to be having this discussion, but there was no way she’d let
it go now. And from the way he was reacting, she bet he didn’t want to either.
“Fine.” He took a step toward her, and her senses went on full alert. “You want something safe.”
He took another step toward her. Her breath quickened, and her mouth became the Sahara. He wasn't wrong, but that wasn't the only thing she wanted.
“You want something easy. Picket fences and all that. Something you can dream about.”
He didn't know she already dreamed about him. A lot. She dreamed about his eyes. His compassion for her, someone he didn't even know. His rare laugh. How he was so careful with her, so caring. Okay and yeah, the fact he was such a badass was definitely working for her, but still.
“You don't know anything about me, Nick.” She put her hands on her hips and swallowed.
He barked a sarcastic laugh, and her heart skipped. “And you think you know me? You don't. You don't know a damn thing about me, babe.”
Her stomach whirled. Babe. Of course, he'd naturally use her favorite term of endearment. She'd heard it a thousand times before but when Nick said it, she was on fire. All she wanted was to hear it again. And again.
“Okay, Scarlet.”
His voice sank even deeper and took on a husky rasp that sent an electric bolt down her spine. He took yet another step towards her, putting him just one step away. His jaw jumped, and his eyes flashed as they worked their way slowly up her body to meet her own.
“Let's pretend I'm wrong. Maybe you want bad. Maybe you want dangerous. Maybe you want mean or detached. A dirty secret you can't talk about. Maybe you want something you know you shouldn't or can't have.” He sucked in a breath. “Or maybe you want to fix someone, is that it?”
“No, it's no—”
“Let's say I'm that,” he frowned. “That I could be fixed. And you turn me into what you want. You might not like who I am without this.” He gestured to the street and sidewalk. “Then what?”
He uncrossed his arms, and they dropped to his sides, fists clenched. His nostrils flared as he breathed deeply, but her breaths couldn't keep up with her heart.