I freeze on the spot, stunned, but he doesn’t notice anything.
He kissed me. He kissed me!
I stare at the door even though he’s already disappeared behind it. I too have a silly expression looking at the motionless door. He’s already far away, but I still haven’t moved, admiring the emptiness full of questions and delightful memories.
10 — Josh
I did it! I did it! On my way home I feel like running, jumping around, kissing people on the way even though there isn’t anyone.
I’m not a virgin anymore! And Oh God how good it felt! I should feel ashamed, yet I want to scream it out loud so that everybody would know. I must really be nuts. Sandre’s craziness must be contagious and I could become crazy for her.
Good God! I’m losing it!
I know, it should only be this once, now that I got what I wanted, I must settle for patiently waiting for Marcy. That’s was a nice guy would do, and I think I’m a nice guy. I thought that after doing it for the first time, I would have a clear head, but it’s even worse. Sandre’s naked body is monopolizing all my thoughts. Even Marcy seems to be a distant memory next to her. I need it even more now that I’ve tried it. If only I had known this before!
When I slip into the kitchen, my mother is cleaning the house. She always has to make everything shine before going to bed. I pray for her to be too busy with her chore to notice the stupid smile I can’t shake off. I kiss her furtively on the cheek, ready to disappear, but she freezes and I know I’m screwed.
“What’s that perfume?” She asks me and tries to read the answer on my face.
“Must be Marcy’s.” I mumble, trying to look as cool as possible and hoping to sound convincing.
“I thought you were at Steve’s?”
Crap! She’ll suspect something, she will suspect something! I’m screwed.
“Marcy and Lucy were with us.”
“You took a shower?”
Oh crap I haven’t thought about my wet hair at all. I’m totally spaced out and so deep in trouble.
“We shot some hoops and in this heat I was dripping with sweat.”
“And Steve has a new shower gel?”
Crap, no detail gets past her. I’m dead for sure! “Mom! What are those questions about?” “And…nothing has…happened?” She insists some more, her features tight as if she was dreading the answer.
“What do you think could have happened?” I answer, praying for her not to say any horrors.
“You have this after… ridiculous smile.”
She doesn’t say it, but I know what she means. I hope she doesn’t say it!
“Marcy is a nice girl,” she takes on, “it would be a shame to lose her because of rushing things.”
She thinks I did it with Marcy! Fuck!
“I’m not an idiot!” I answer back as I leave the room.
Yet, God knows I really must be an idiot. Hell awaits me for what I’ve done. How will I manage to hide this from Marcy? Before, I felt like I had virgin written all over the face, now I’m sure there’s a blinking I’ve done it sign over my head. And despite this I don’t regret it. It was deliciously perfect, surreal… how could I find Sandre River beautiful and sexy, better even…smoking hot.
As I wake up the next morning, my crotch shivers when I think about her. I must really be nuts; I’ve dreamt only about her and her gorgeous body. I’m sure my mind has erased all her imperfections because it was so ready to take the plunge. I’ll most certainly feel bad when I run into her in high school’s corridors, and discover the horror of reality. Is it going to be awful?
When I get to the parking lot with my old mustang, I’ve managed to convince myself that the gorgeous Sandre was only a hallucination created by my brain and that I would be stupid to make such a mistake again. There’s no way I can take a chance at losing the ideal woman for a bitter madwoman. And when I spot Marcy in a splendid, light pink pencil skirt and a white slightly see-through blouse that suit her very well, I don’t doubt it anymore. How could I be this stupid? I already have the perfect girl.
After picking up my bag from the back seat, I fall on her neck praying for her not to notice anything, but Steve arrives with his nasty habit of saying things he shouldn’t.
“So? Your evening with the rebel? Did you arm-wrestle an ex-con?”
I loudly swallow thinking about the previous day, it was not with her father that I tested the balance of power. Well if you can call it that. I dare a look in Marcy’s direction who’s staring at me as if she got it all. Oh my God, I knew it, it’s written all over my face!
“She’s always alone and her house is spotless.” I mumble as Steve imagines, I’m sure, all the horrors I did with her.
11 — Sandre
I thought I would never find sleep. Hard to think about something else than his intoxicating caresses, his mischievous smile and his to die for body. I’m not even talking about the delicious sensation of feeling him inside me and the orgasms caused by his hip thrusts. Sandre, think about something else! It’s crazy but I thought it would be quick and without any tenderness, just an explosion of sensations before he runs off like a thief. But he’s been delicate and thoughtful. Why did he have to be this perfect? How am I to forget about him after this?
And after all, thanks to him and to the pleasure he’s given me, I had a perfect night of sleep, resting and dreamless, but once I get up¸ it’s like hell. I’m panicking. I’m afraid of seeing him again, of his behavior at school, of his regret and contempt.
From my perch, I spot Josh and my heart goes off again. He looks the same as always, as if I hadn’t made a man out of him the day before. He holds Marcy by the hand and talks to Steve. He’s not as close to her as usually and she seems to appreciate it. If only that klutz knew why, she would become monumentally hysterical. I can’t hold back a smile when I imagine her shout herself hoarse with horrors that would offend her God Almighty. I laugh and yet, it hurts more than I would have thought to see them together.
When I finally decide to join the crowd, most of it is already inside. I’m so afraid of having to put up with the stuck up brat again that I preferred to wait until the last minute. Prude, however, did not miss me. She runs to me with her well behaved little girl’s outfit, her naïve smile and her boring stories. And she reels off, not letting me hear even my own thoughts. I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing. Where could my mind have gone off to if it was left the opportunity to wander? I know that Josh and his stunning body would have monopolized it and the doubts that go with it.
At noon, I’m one of the firsts to sit at a table in the back of the cafeteria. I haven’t run into Josh yet, and I intend to keep it that way. I spotted him a few times from afar, but I did my best to avoid him. Last thing I want is to see how he looks at me after what we’ve done yesterday.
When his gang and he get into the crowded hall, I keep my eyes down and he doesn’t seem to notice me. The stuck up, however, she did not miss me, and she’s so much to talk about.
“Did you know that the newbies threw some squibs in the first floor’s bathroom. And as a result, we can’t go there anymore. .. And the junky with the red hair spent the end of the morning in the ER after falling down the stairs… And one of the so cute guys from the swim team winked at me”.
Me who thought they were all gay! Oh God! What the hell am I talking about?
I can’t stand her anymore, and her voice is a torture. I need to keep calm, I need to keep calm! She doesn’t exist. She will grow tired of it. Stay positive.
After having eaten the little my stomach could take in such circumstances, I discreetly leave; trying to stay as far away as possible from the popular’s gang. I almost made it, but Prude who ran after me sends her tray flying and all eyes turn in our direction. The situation might have been comical in other circumstances. She looks ridiculous with spaghettis in her hair and tomato sauce on her glasses and her pretty white blouse. And usually I don’t give a shit about being the center of att
ention, it only takes one dark look from me to make them all regret being curious.
But in the middle of this crowd, there’s one who doesn’t fear the lightning in my dark eyes anymore. Josh observes me amused, as if I was the distraction instead of the clumsy brat. I turn away and leave the hall, furious; ignoring the delicate situation I leave the stuck-up brat in. I dreaded meeting his azure irises and I was right. What an asshole! How could he stare at me this way? Who am I to him now? A puppet that always does anything he wants? Does he really want to know who holds the strings?
I thought I got rid of Prude, but it’s a fail! Not even five minutes later she’s already back in my way, her checkered blazer closed up to the top to dissimulate the horrors hiding under it.
“The advantage with you is that no one dared to look at my butt as I was cleaning up the mess I made.” She says still cheerful.
What an idiot! She doesn’t need me to avoid people eyeing her ass. Who would be interested in her butt with the look she has?
The day finally over, I’m relieved to see the stuck up brat go home, and terrified, even panicking at the idea of meeting with Josh again. Are we really going to work on our presentation as if nothing had happened? No, no way! And what if I didn’t go back home? He would end up growing tired of waiting for me.
I mechanically took the same way as usual and when I get there, he’s already at the door, his back against the railing of the terrace. He’s taken off his football team jacket and is only wearing jeans that fall low on his hips and a tight sweatshirt that perfectly draws his gorgeous structure. Bodies like that should be forbidden. Fuck, he looks so good that asshole! His rebel strands of hair that partly hide his cold irises make me shudder. He regrets, he regrets for sure!
I step over the gate without bothering to open it. I pass in front of him without looking at him and pull out my keys from my pocket holding back a shudder. I take a deep breath to evacuate the pressure as he stares at me wondering. He follows me into the too silent house that I sometimes have trouble considering like my home. Everything is white, design and empty, exactly like my mother wanted it. It looks good but it’s a pain in the ass to maintain. I throw my bag on the white leather couch and turn to him. He looks as embarrassed as me.
“Your parents aren’t here?” He ends up saying with an irresistible mimic.
“Are you gonna ask the same thing every time?” I answer with too harsh a tone that it surprises even me. The situation is delicate, but I don’t want to make him run away either.
“Do they ever come home?” He insists, ignoring my nonchalant tone.
“Not on week days.” I clarify and take off my jacket.
A long embarrassing silence follows. He regrets! Maybe he’s putting it all on me and I became a big teasing bitch. What an asshole!
We are in deep shit! I should say something like “let’s forget about all this. Ok?” I still wonder how to unblock the situation when he offers:
“Should we get to it?”
I hesitate a moment before taking out the dog eared documents out of my bag. If I give them to him it will probably be the last time we see each other. At this thought, my heart breaks violently. I’m really stupid, but considering the impasse with find ourselves at, it might be better this way. I give him such an exceptional present and this is how he thanks me. Asshole! I suddenly have an urge for revenge.
“You’re lucky I’ve done the work for you.” I say ironically with a malicious look and throw the file at him.
He catches it with a skillful gesture and goes through the twenty or so pages that I promptly wrote over the weekend. He looks surprised, but a smile appears on his beautiful face.
“You finished it?” He asks astounded.
“I thought you wouldn’t come back… after our …um… heated conversation.” I mumble a little embarrassed before carrying on with a more playful tone. “I’m the old Salomon. I’m listening to you, Mister Anderson.” I add with a bossy tone. (You thought you could make fun of me! So let’s see how you handle this!)
I know, I’m taking a chance here, but considering where we’re at, it can’t get worse.
He hasn’t moved, he stares at me as if he didn’t get it, I don’t let it disturb me, yet I’m in panic.
“And do your utmost if you want a good grade.” I insist, still kinky.
The expression on his face is unreadable. He looks like he’s about to run away, but after an endless hesitation he looks down at the papers and starts to read.
“The family rights have considerably progressed during the past century…”
Studious, the words come harmoniously out of his mouth as if he was reciting a poem. I have all leisure to admire him without risking getting caught. He has no flaws, it’s almost unfair. He’s just stunning with his long eyelashes entirely dissimulating his azure eyes, his nose, long and straight, his lips red and full, his jaw angular and enhanced by an appearing beard. Yesterday, I gave him a present, but today, he’ll have to earn it.
I let my shirt slip to the floor and I slowly start taking of my tank top. He stops to read for a moment and observes me, half surprised half amused.
“Mister Anderson, I’m listening.” I scold him to make him go on.
His behavior reassures me, he’s not going to run away. When I have nothing but my panties on, I slowly walk closer to him and he starts to mumble.
“Nuclear families, a ma…majority at the beginning of the century has… given its position to single parent families…”
“You lack concentration Mister Anderson, you aren’t being serious.” I tease him with a bossy tone, slipping my hands under his T-shirt.
“The evolution of customs…brings the… the…”
He loses it as my fingers unbutton his jeans and sneak into his boxers. He’s at my mercy and I’m loving it. Suddenly he throws away the pages that silently scatter over the floor and takes off his top with a groan.
“I think we should rethink your rating scale together.” He says mockingly and grabs me by the butt to lift me onto his shoulder.
I stifle a scream of stupefaction and call out, trying to sound shocked :
“Mister Anderson, I’m not one of those women you can buy!”
“That’s what we’ll see.” He comments and skillfully climbs up the stairs as if I was no handicap for the exercise.
“Mister Anderson, put me back down right now!” I scream outraged.
At my big surprise, he obeys, slowly making me slide down his body. The sensation is exquisite and I take this opportunity to smell his soft musky perfume. We are already in my room. His face is so close to mine that I could easily kiss him, but I’m not convinced he would appreciate that. Slowly his hands climb up my stomach and linger on my breasts and one comes to get lost in my hair as the other gently touches my cheek. “We should fix this.” He whispers and caresses the contour of my dark eyes.
So it is important for him? He wants me, with no concealment and no tricks. I pull away and smile at him, suddenly cowed.
“I’ll be right back.” I say with a barely audible voice.
12 — Josh
When I arrived in front of her house earlier today, I was determined not to do it again. I needed to do it, I did it, it was great, but it would be stupid to play with fire. I have to respect Marcy’s will and wait for her. She’s the one I want and not Sandre River, even though she’s just ordinary and not terribly ugly as I thought.
Yet, without her clothes, she’s incredibly attractive. I try to convince myself that it’s like that with all women, even though I very well know that this idea is in all probability very unlikely. This girl really has something. She speaks so well to my hormones, brings them to a boil, awakens all my senses.
Leaning against the door frame I look at her in silence. On her tiptoes, balanced on the edge of the sink, she carefully takes off the coal that dissimulates her weaknesses and makes her look so impressive. As she’s concentrating on her reflection in the mirror I make the most of
the opportunity to scrutinize her: her long thin legs, her small round ass, her tiny waist and her breasts to die for. It’s crazy but I find her perfect, and like the day before, I tell myself it’s my hormones more than me that appreciate her beauty. After an endless silence, curious, I take the risk:
“Why don’t you just settle for being yourself?”
She’s startled and our eyes meet in the mirror. Without all that black, her eyes are soft, fragile and sparkling, her smile enhanced by a dimple has something irresistible. My hormones talking again!
“I don’t think I’d feel comfortable in this outfit at school.” She says pointing out her naked body.
She smiles at me and fixes her hair. Who would have thought that the rebel had humor? It’s crazy! How can a girl like her make herself attractive and despicable so well? The kind of girl that can make you lose your mind.
“I was talking about your makeup and your shapeless clothes.” I insist, not minding her provocative look. Her eyes darken for a moment, as if I had just touched a soft spot. Could Marcy be right? Is she really punishing herself by wearing these horrors?
I probably won’t get an answer, because again, her face is lightened by this playful expression that made me lose control earlier.
“I’m much more myself the way I am.” She whispers, already pretty close to me.
“You’re talking about you in…this outfit?” I tease her, putting my hand on her hips to pull her into my arms. “Mister Anderson, you are distracting me, yet, if I remember well, you have not finished your work.” She scolds me while pushing me to the bed.
She’s in a playful mood and I’m loving it. Good God, she knows what she’s doing!
“Really? Yet I thought I gave you another subject you could evaluate my competences on.” I answer, grabbing her by her butt to put her on the mattress.
Sinder 1: Experimentation Page 8