by Vikki Vaught
When he opened the door, the butler had his hand raised, ready to knock. Clearly startled, he stepped back. “My lord. There are several men asking for you. Some of the local fishermen, I believe. Do you want to see them?”
“Where are they?” he demanded, as a sense of doom settled upon his shoulders.
“They are below stairs at the servants’ entrance,” Ellsworth replied.
“I shall go to them right away.” His heart pounded, and his palms were sweating. These fishermen must have news.
He hobbled down the three flights of stairs, his knee screaming at the abuse. As soon as the men came into view, he stiffened his spine. “Do you have the information I seek?”
The tallest man tugged at the brim of his cap. “We come straightaway, yer lordship. Two…uh…bodies ’ave washed ashore. Do ye want t’ take a look?”
His ears rang. His heart beat so fast he feared it would jump out of his chest. Through gritted teeth, he declared, “Show me.”
They led him to the shore, and two bodies lay face down on the sand. When he reached them, he recognized his brother’s profile. A knife tore through his heart. He dropped beside Roderick and Allison’s dead bodies.
“Oh, God, no…no…not Roderick…not Allison…why…why,” he cried to the heavens.
Someone touched him, and through a haze of tears, he saw Hatton. “There’s nothing you can do for them, sir. Let these men carry them to the house. Come, I shall help you up.” Hatton offered his hand.
He trembled from his outburst. He had to gain control. Elaine and the children would need him. There would be time later to give into his grief. He let Hatton pull him up. He stood to the side as several of the men attempted to pick up his brother. Roderick was such a big man they had a hard time carrying him, so the largest, burly man heaved him over his shoulder. Hatton picked Allison up with great gentleness and care, and they slowly made their way up to the house.
Ellsworth swung open the iron doors, then showed the men to the dining room, and they laid Roderick on the huge oak table. Hatton gently laid Allison beside her husband. The men removed their hats and lowered their heads; the leader said a prayer for their souls.
Although he wanted to say something, he had such a lump in his throat he could not utter a word. The butler showed the men out, leaving him alone with his brother and Allison.
Standing motionless, icy chills ran down his arms. He moaned. “No…No…they can’t be dead…Oh, God, please let this be a bad dream.” His anguished voice filled the room. Someone touched his arm.
Kathryn stood beside him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She held her arms open and he fell into them. She held him for a long time as he cried out his grief. She did not try to console him, she only held him.
Pulling himself together, Jonathan stood straight and tall. “I need to send for the doctor and visit the vicar. Will you stay with them until I return? I don’t want them…left alone.”
She released him. “I shan’t leave their sides. Go, do what is needed.”
* * * *
Kathryn asked Ellsworth to find Roderick and Allison’s servants and bring them to her. She quietly stood there waiting until they arrived. When they appeared, Allison’s maid cried, and Roderick’s valet’s lip trembled.
“I need both of you to bring fresh clothes to bury them in. Please hurry. I want them dressed before Lord Sutherland returns with the doctor and the vicar.” They left quickly, and Kathryn silently stood there watching over them until the maid and valet returned.
Her heart ached for Jonathan and the anguish he must be experiencing. He still had the ordeal of telling Elaine and the children. She would remain at his side, offering whatever support he needed.
The servants returned with clothing and steaming water. The valet quickly washed and dressed Roderick as Kathryn stoically stood vigil, averting her eyes while fulfilling her promise to Jonathan. When he finished, Hatton bowed, then left the room.
Kathryn watched as Allison’s maid cleansed her mistress for the last time. The maid cried at the sight of the bruises on Allison’s body. It was all she could do to not break down as well. The servant went about her business, and soon Allison was dressed.
Inhaling to hold onto her composure, she stepped to Roderick and Allison and tenderly placed their hands, one on top of each other. The maid covered her face with her apron and rushed from the room.
Kathryn continued to stand vigil over Jonathan’s brother and his dear wife. Tears slipped from her eyes as she waited for his return. Bowing her head, she prayed, “Dear heavenly father. Welcome this loving couple into Your kingdom. Hold them in Your loving embrace. Be with Jonathan, Elaine, and the children as they deal with their loss. Allowing me to, in some way, offer comfort. Through your Son’s name I pray. Amen.”
Knowing he would be returning at any time, she wiped the tears from her face. He would need her over the next few days, and she would be there for him and the children.
* * * *
The door opened, and Jonathan entered with the doctor and the vicar.
He approached Kathryn. “Thank you. I shall take over from here. Elaine should be awake. Can you keep her upstairs until I can come to her? I know…it’s a lot to ask.”
“Whatever you need me to do. I shall go to her until you can come tell her.” After touching his shoulder, she turned and left the room.
After asking the doctor to see if he could determine how Roderick and Allison had died, he turned to the vicar. “How do I find caskets for them? I’m not from around here so I do not know.”
“I will take care of it for you,” the vicar replied.
Thank God. “I want the best caskets money can buy. Spare no expense.”
“It will be as you wish,” the vicar assured him, then asked, “When do you want to have the service? Many of their neighbors will want to attend. They were well-loved by everyone.”
He swallowed his pain. “There is no family outside of my sister and myself—oh, and Lady Roderick’s aunt, Lady Milsom. I shall take them to St. John’s Wood. They will be entombed in our family mausoleum. We shall have the funeral here on the morrow if that is agreeable to you?”
“I shall make the arrangements upon my return to the church.”
“Thank you for your help.” After the vicar left, he turned to the doctor who had finished his examination. “Could you tell what caused their demise?”
The doctor’s brows drew together. “They both suffered severe blows to the head. That could have been the cause. The only way to know is if I check their lungs, but even then, it will be hard to determine. It’s up to you, my lord.”
“I do not want them disturbed. It doesn’t matter how they died anyway. The fact is…they are lost to me. Thank you for coming, Doctor. Ellsworth will show you out.” The good doctor bowed, then the butler showed him out.
He had to go to his sister and tell her. Oh, God, how will I explain this to the children? Unable to delay the inevitable any longer, he stiffened his resolve.
After he closed the doors to the dining room, he found Ellsworth in the entry hall. “I need you to stay with my brother and Lady Roderick until Lady Kathryn returns. I must go upstairs to tell…my sister.”
When he arrived at Elaine’s door, he knocked, and Kathryn answered. He lowered his voice, so his sister would not hear. “Will you go to the dining room and stay with Roderick and Allison until I can return?”
“Certainly,” she replied. “I shan’t leave them alone.”
Once she left, he looked at Elaine. “I need to speak with you. Take a seat. I found Roderick and Allison.” He swallowed. “Princess…they’re…they are lost to us. I’m sorry.”
Shock and terror flashed across her face. “No…No. They…c-cannot be dead. Not Roderick…Not Allison. She was going to have a baby. Please tell me it’s not so?”
The anguish in her voice tore at his soul. “Princess, I know it’s hard to accept, but it is true.”
Tears streamed down her face. “Oh, no, who wi
ll take care of Frankford and Jane? Do they know yet?”
“I will tell them as soon as I know you’re all right.” He opened his arms, and she buried her face against his shoulder. They remain still for several minutes, and he stroked her back.
Elaine lifted her brave face with tears cascading down her cheeks. “I want to be with you when you tell them. They know me better than you. Let me…catch my breath, and then we shall go to them. Who is with Roderick and Allison? I don’t want them to be alone.”
“Kathryn is with them in the dining room. Roderick and Allison are in there. She will not leave their side.” Then he mindlessly added what was unnecessary, “I promise they shan’t be alone.”
Elaine pulled from his arms and went to her dressing table. She grabbed her handkerchief and wiped her eyes, then turned to him. “I’m ready.”
They went to the nursery. The children were eating breakfast as they entered their room. They scrambled out of their chairs and ran to Elaine. Frankford asked, “Where is Mama? She didn’t come to see us again last night. She always tells us a story every night. Does she have a cold, like you do?”
Jonathan took in their sweet faces turned to him. His heart was ripped from his chest yet again. This was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do. He took a deep breath to gain his composure. “Frankford, Jane, you know we love you. I…have something I must tell you. Children…” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat, “your parents were out on the sea the day before yesterday during the storm. Their yacht went down. Frankford, Jane…your parents…they perished in the storm. I’m so sorry.”
Frankford and Jane stared at him with disbelief shadowing their faces.
“My mama and papa are not dead,” Frankford shouted. “You’re lying!”
Jane asked, “What does dead mean? Why is Frankford so mad? I want my mama,” she wailed.
Picking her up, he hugged her close. “Your mama and papa went to heaven to be with God. They’re angels now. Do you know what angels are?”
“But that’s so far away,” she cried. “I want to go see them. Will you take me, Uncle Jonathan, please?”
“Darling, you’re right…heaven is far away, and we can’t go there.” He placed his hand over Jane’s little heart. “Your mama and papa will always be with you, here in your heart. They didn’t want to go, but God called them home to be with him. I shall take care of you now.” He kissed her soft, little cheek, wet with tears.
“I want my mama now!” She pushed him away. “You go to heaven and get her. You tell God he can’t have her. She’s my mama, not his.”
Jonathan was at a loss for words. Jane started crying inconsolably, and Frankford called him a liar. Elaine choked on her tears as she tried to explain to the children. He looked at their governess, who was also softly crying, pleading with her to help, but to no avail.
How can I explain so the children can understand?
Frankford balled his hands into fists and pummeled his stomach, all while yelling at the top of his voice. “I want to see them now. Where are they? You can’t keep me from them. I won’t let you.”
Frankford tore from the room, and Jonathan followed him down the stairs. He could not keep up because of his bad knee. At last, he made it to the entryway and found Frankford in the dining room staring at his parents, screaming, “Wake up, Mama! Papa, wake up!” Tears rolled down his face.
Kathryn pulled him into her arms and cradled him against her breasts. “Darling, your mama and your papa need you to be a brave soldier. They’re in heaven watching you and loving you just as much as if they were here with you now. I know it’s hard to understand, but please know they didn’t want to leave you, but God needed them, and they had to go. We all love you, and we shall take care of you, I promise. Don’t blame your Uncle Jonathan. He didn’t want them to go either. Look, he’s crying too. Ah, my darling, we will be right here with you.”
Frankford wrapped his sturdy little arms around her neck, buried his face in her breasts, and sobbed. She held him until he cried himself to sleep.
“Oh, Kathryn, what am I to do?” Anguish colored his tone and tears clogged his throat. “I do not know how to raise children. I didn’t know what to say. Little Jane pleaded with me to go to heaven and get her mother. Please help me.”
“I shall help you any way I can. Why don’t you stay here with Roderick and Allison? I shall return Frankford to the nursery. Try not to worry, children are resilient. They shall make it through this, and so will you.” Then she carried his nephew from the room.
Jonathan refused to leave Roderick and Allison until the vicar returned. They held the funeral the next day, and all the neighbors and tenant farmers came to show their respect.
Kathryn worked with the cook and arranged to have food at the wake. He did not know what he would have done without her. Once everyone left, she organized everything for the trip the following day.
Jonathan sent word to Lady Milsom, letting her know of her niece and Roderick’s passing. He detested doing it by post, but she needed to know as soon as possible, since they were taking Roderick and Allison to St. John’s Wood. His emotions were encased in ice. He pushed them deep inside, so he could be strong for Elaine and the children, but he dreaded the entombment because it would be…the final goodbye.
CHAPTER 12
Early September 1823
Rain beat down on roof of the carriage and wind rocked it to and fro on the way to St. John’s Wood. The children became fractious. Who could blame them? It took them twice as long to arrive as usual. Kathryn was a godsend. He could not have done it without her. They arrived too late to take Kathryn to her mother’s, and he did not want to anyway.
The butler took charge, and soon the children were in the nursery and fast asleep. Elaine went straight to her room. Goodman placed Kathryn in the blue room, and Jonathan asked her to come to his study so they could talk once she’d settled in.
When she arrived, he asked her to take a seat on the couch, then sat beside her. “How can I ever thank you for all you have done over the last few days? I could not have handled any of this without you. I want to ask you something.” He swallowed the lump clogging his throat. “I need you to listen to everything before you respond. Can you do that for me?”
“Of course,” she replied. “I’m here for you and I shall listen. What do you need to tell me?”
He could barely breathe, his anxiety ratcheted up an alarming degree. Oh, God, please let her hear me out. “We get along extremely well, and we’ve become close friends. It’s clear you already love the children, and Elaine idolizes you. I need your help in raising Frankford and Jane. Elaine will need your help when she has her come-out in a few years.”
She searched his face, clearly unsure where this conversation was going. “Of course, I’ll be happy to help. I’ve grown to love the children and Elaine.”
Reaching for her hand, his shook. “I know you are determined to remain unwed, but I would ask you to seriously consider changing your mind.” Not giving her a chance to interrupt, he blurted out, “Marry me. It will be in name only, unless you change your mind. We would just be two friends who wed for the sake of the children. I never planned to wed, but I cannot do this alone. I have grown to care deeply for you, and I respect you greatly. Please, will you do me the great honor of being my wife?”
Kathryn stared at him, shock clearly evident on her face. “I don’t know what to say. You know my views regarding my art and how marriage would keep me from attaining my goal of becoming a professional artist. As I said, I do love the children, and I care about Elaine. I also care deeply for you. I need some time to consider what you are asking of me.”
Thank God she is at least willing to entertain my proposal. “Please, say yes. I promise I will support your desire to be an artist. I shall help you find a studio in London where you can meet with your patrons. I will even make sure everyone in the ton knows of your talent. You will have more commissions than you ever imagined. All I ask in return i
s for you to help me raise these children and help Elaine with her come-out.”
“I’m not sure I could do it.” Regret colored her tone.
He dug in his heels, determined to plead his case. “I understand your concerns, but people wed for many reasons. I think friendship is the best one. I know you’re afraid of intimacy, and I promise I understand. I will never bother you that way unless you decide it’s what you want. Please, say yes.”
Kathryn released his hand and stood, then turned to him. “I still need time. I’m returning to my mother’s home tomorrow after the entombment. I do not want to see you for a fortnight. After that, you may call on me, and I will give you my answer.”
Jonathan stood facing her. “I understand. I need to return to Bristol to meet with Roderick’s solicitor and get his affairs in order, but when I return I shall call on you for your answer. I know this is a lot to ask, but could you keep the children while I’m gone? They have become attached to you. I fear they will be devastated if they lose you now.”
Kathryn twisted her hands, clearly distressed. “It would not be a good idea. If I decide I cannot marry you, it would be harder if they have two more weeks to become attached to me, and me to them. I need to be alone to ponder this decision, and I shan’t be able to do that with the children. I realize you’re concerned, but you will be fine, and you will have Elaine. I must have these two weeks, or my answer is no today.”
He could not press her further, or he would ruin any chance of her agreeing. “I’m sorry. I was not thinking clearly. You’re right. I shall take the children with me. I will manage some way. Just remember, I need you desperately and so do the children. I pray you will decide in my favor. Let me escort you to your bedchamber so you can find your rest. Thank you again for all you’ve done.”
When they reached her door, she kissed him on the cheek and bid him a good night. A vise squeezed his heart as she closed her door. He feared she would ultimately say no. He turned and slowly walked away with a heavy heart.