by Vikki Vaught
Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I can’t. Do you not…understand? Just when I finally found my courage to let him make love to me, this happens. I can’t…lose him. He’s so ill, and his fever keeps climbing. What shall I do?”
Helen hugged her. “You will not lose him. We will keep bathing him. In fact, I shall order a tub filled with cold water, and you can bathe him there. Perhaps immersing him in cold water will help.”
Once they had the tub prepared, Hatton managed to get him in it. Jonathan shivered, and his teeth chattered, but she kept pouring cold water over him until it turned tepid. Hatton returned him to the bed.
They urged him to take the medicine, and most of it stayed down. His brow seemed slightly cooler after the baths, but after a couple of hours, his temperature rose again.
For two days, they continued the cold water baths, and his temperature went down, only to rise again. Jonathan grew delirious and kept shouting for them to leave his leg alone. He called for Roderick over and over again. It tore her heart apart. He was trapped in his nightmare, and she could not help him.
On the third day of his illness, the doctor finished his examination and shook his head. “If his fever does not break soon, he’ll die. I’m surprised he’s lasted this long. The baths may be the only thing keeping him alive. Keep giving them to him, along with the medicine. I shall return in the morning.”
Kathryn sent Hatton to his bed as the clock struck three. She would not leave Jonathan’s side. After the valet left, she crawled in beside her husband. “Please come back to me. I cannot lose you. Oh, my darling, please live. You can make love to me any time you want. Just come back to me.” So exhausted, she could no longer keep her eyes open, she fell asleep.
When Kathryn awoke, dawn was breaking, and she noticed he was breathing easier. She touched his brow; it was cool. His fever had broken. Her heart surged with love and hope. Jonathan would survive. She lay beside him, watching him sleep peacefully as she slipped into a more restful slumber.
She awoke to a hand on her back. She looked into Jonathan’s brilliant blue eyes. “Why are you in your clothes?”
“Oh, my love, you’ve come back to me. You’ve been so ill. I feared you would not make it. Thank God your fever broke in the night.”
“Sweetheart, I will never leave you. How long have I been ill?” he asked.
“Six days,” she told him. “You had lung fever, and yesterday the doctor told me you might not survive through the night. I greatly feared I would never be able to tell you. I’m ready to become your wife in all ways.”
Jonathan huskily said, “Darling, give me a couple of days to gain my strength. Nothing could make me happier. May I have something to eat? I’m starving.”
“Oh, yes, let me ring for something right way.” She yanked on the bell pull and ordered a tray.
Jonathan ate a bowl of chicken broth and then fell asleep. Hatton came in to relieve her. “He awakened, and even eaten some chicken broth. He’s going to be all right.”
“That’s wonderful, your ladyship,” Hatton replied with relief in his voice. “Let me sit with him while you find your rest. He should sleep most of the day.”
Utterly exhausted, she agreed. “I shall sleep for a few hours, but when he awakens, send for me immediately.”
Kathryn slept for six hours, and when she awoke, she returned to his side. The doctor had been in to see him and had told Hatton he could have soft foods. If he tolerated them, he could try something more substantial.
Each day Jonathan grew stronger, and on the third day, he dressed and spent the day downstairs. Kathryn read to him in the morning, and in the afternoon, he played the pianoforte. He joined the family for dinner and appeared completely recovered. She prayed he was recovered enough to make love.
After entering their sitting room later that evening, Jonathan turned to her. “I shall join you in thirty minutes.” Kathryn watched the door close, her belly all aflutter with anticipation. She went to her room to bathe. She filled it with her lavender bathing salts and used her scented soap. She did not linger, since she wanted to be ready when he returned.
Her heart thundered, and her pulse jumped. She donned the apricot night rail. It was so sheer, it was almost transparent. The sides were open with little bows strategically placed to keep it on. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. She nervously stood by the bed while she waited for him to arrive. As the door opened, she trembled, but she refused to allow fear to deter her.
Jonathan gazed at her, his blue eyes glowing with desire. A fierce rush of pleasure raced through her veins. “You leave me breathless.” His face was intent and flushed with desire as he slowly moved across the room and stood before her. “Are you sure you’re ready? If you’re not, tell me now before I lose my senses.”
She smiled. “I want to become your wife in truth. Make love to me, husband.”
He untied his robe and dropped it on the floor. A tremor ran through her when she saw his arousal. He climbed into bed beside her. “As lovely as this gown is, it must come off.”
He pulled the bows, and the gown fell open. Hunger glowed in the blue depths of his eyes. Jonathan ran his hands across her breasts, and her nipples tightened. He took a swollen bud in his mouth, using tongue and teeth to arouse her further. He lifted his head and kissed her hot, deep, and long as his hand traveled over her belly.
Kathryn’s heart raced; her pulse fluttered as he parted her thighs. “Open for me, my love.” She relaxed her muscles, and her thighs fell apart. As he deepened his kiss, his fingers parted the slick folds covering her sex, then he brushed the tip of his finger across her core, and she quivered. He kissed his way down her body until he settled between her thighs. He lightly licked her feminine core. A sudden rush of heat ran through her body.
As he circled her bud with his tongue, he slipped a finger inside and stroked in and out, faster and faster, as his tongue licked her secret spot. Her belly tightened, and then burst into flames as she soared above the clouds. A satisfied growl emanated from him.
Jonathan kissed his way up her body and rolled to his back. “Straddle my hips. When you’re ready, guide my shaft inside. You have complete control.”
Kathryn nodded as she moved into position. Trembling, she hesitated a moment before rubbing against his shaft. Slowly, she lowered her body until he was buried deep inside her body. “It doesn’t hurt. It feels amazing.”
“That’s only the beginning.” As he lifted her by her waist, he lowered her as he thrust upward inside her. He groaned and trembled as he moved faster and wilder, showing a loss of his control. Her muscles contracted as need built higher and higher. She flew over the edge into bliss, vaguely aware of him groaning as his warm seed filled her for the first time.
Slowly, she returned to reality. Once his breathing returned to normal, he kissed her temple. “That was amazing. Thank you for giving me your trust.”
“I never imagined it could be so overpowering.” She listened to the steady beat of his heart. “I didn’t expect to fall in love like this. When you lay close to death, I realized my life would never be complete again if I lost you.”
Jonathan pulled her close. “Darling, I shall never leave you. You…are my heart. It only beats for you. Thank you for allowing me to share your life. Before I met you, I was aimlessly making my way through life. I have been turned around by your love.” Snuggling together, they let sleep take them away.
The next morning, Kathryn gazed at her husband, and her heart swelled. All her fears were gone. They had come so far. He was the most patient and understanding man in the world. As she continued to gaze at him, she noticed the change in him. When she first met him, he’d looked sad and weary. The lines around his mouth and eyes had been much deeper than they were now. While she wished she’d never gone through the horrific experience with her uncle, it made her a much stronger person.
Jonathan opened his eyes and met her gaze. “Did I dream last night, or was it real?”
/> She smiled. “It was real, and amazing. Thank you for being so patient with me, my love. Last night you said you were turned around by love. Well, darling, you’ve given me a life I never believed possible. Because of you, I have a husband who loves me and two beautiful children. Hopefully, with time, we will have more. I want to have your child, my love. I can think of no greater joy than holding your babe in my arms.”
Jonathan pulled her close. “Well…let us work on that.”
And they did…just that.
EPILOGUE
They departed two days later, setting a leisurely pace, in deference to Jonathan’s recent illness. Despite their slow travel, they arrived at St. John’s Wood in four days. When the manor house came into view, tears filled Kathryn’s eyes. While she’d enjoyed her visit with her sister and her family, it was so good to be home again.
Once the children were settled, they went to their rooms and spent a quiet evening. Jonathan ordered trays, and after they ate, they made love until dawn. Since she’d let go of her fears, she wanted to try it all, and her husband was more than happy to show her. They spent their first week in bed more than out.
Jonathan registered Elaine at Mrs. Manning’s School for Young Ladies for the winter term. She could not wait for the new year to begin her studies. Kathryn suspected she was more interested in the other young ladies she would meet.
On the fifteenth of December, they began the journey to Sanderford Park. They had a pleasant trip and made it in four days. When they arrived, Henry and Melody greeted them warmly. Melody hugged her close. “All is well. I see it shining in your eyes. I’m so happy for you. Henry and I have both been praying you would find happiness and peace, and you have, have you not?”
Her eyes misted with tears of joy. “Beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you. I would never have been brave enough without you and Helen.” She swiped a tear away and smiled. “Now, when does the rest of the family arrive?”
Henry interjected, “Mother arrived yesterday, and Lady Helton is due tomorrow. The rest of the family will be here on the twenty-second. Let us move inside out of this cold. I do believe snow is in the air.” Henry turned to Jonathan and clapped his shoulder. “Follow me. We will adjourn to my study and talk while the ladies catch up.”
Melody showed Kathryn to their rooms. “Once you’re settled, and have had a chance to freshen up, come to my sitting room so we can chat. I want to hear everything. See you in thirty minutes.”
* * * *
Jonathan followed Sanderford to his study. Once his brother-in-law settled in his huge leather chair, he asked, “How did you do it? I feared you would never break through her defenses. I’m so relieved I was wrong.”
He took the seat in front of the duke’s desk. “It took patience and abiding love. Your sister is the best thing that ever happened to me. Before I met Kathryn, I went through the motions of life, not truly living. My life has turned around completely since I met her.”
“While I’m happy for you, I’m happier for my sister. She’s glowing,” Sanderford told him. “I’ve worried over her for years, but she’s in good hands now.”
Should I tell her brother what happened to her?
If it were my sister I would want to know. “I will tell you this in confidence. Kathryn must never know I told you, but you deserve the truth. Your uncle raped her when she was twelve, and it happened repeatedly until you stopped him. If the bastard were not dead, I would hunt him down like a dog.”
Horror filled the man’s eyes. “Oh, God, no. Why did she not come to me? I should have realized there was something more to her fears. I wish I’d killed the bastard when I had the chance.”
He met Sanderford’s tormented gaze. “Kathryn was too ashamed. She only told me because she believed it was unfair to marry me without telling me the full extent of her fears.”
“Thank you for being so patient. Your love has healed her. I’m proud…to call you brother.” Sanderford moved around his desk and offered his hand. “My sister is truly blessed to have you.”
He grabbed the duke’s hand and shook it. “Thank you, but I’m the one who’s blessed. I’m the most fortunate of men. I’m honored…to call you brother as well.”
The conversation turned to less weighty topics. “How long have you owned Doncaster Stables? Collingswood mentioned you own an Arabian stallion. I would relish the opportunity to breed some of my mares with him.”
“That can be arranged.” He stood. “I have one of his colts here. Shall we take a look at him? Follow me, my friend.”
* * * *
Kathryn entered the rooms assigned to them. It felt so strange to be staying in them. It was the suite of rooms Melody and Henry had used before he became the duke. She spied the French doors and stepped onto the balcony.
Memories assailed her; she recalled admiring the gorgeous roses with Melody all those years ago. Melody was so dear, and she thanked God for bringing her into their lives. Henry and Melody had such a loving union, and Helen and Matthew did as well. Now, she had one with Jonathan. She smiled, then after she washed her face and hands, she made her way to Melody’s sitting room.
Kathryn knocked on the door. Her sister-in-law’s melodious voice said, “Come in.” She entered, and Melody greeted her with a smile. “Please sit and tell me everything. You have overcome your fears, have you not? Your face is glowing.”
“I’m happier than any other time in my life.” Her cheeks heated. “You were so right. Intimate love is amazing, and now I cannot imagine why I held onto my fears for so long. Helen convinced me I’d given power to my uncle. Once I realized that, I let go of my fears.”
Melody squeezed her hand. “I’m happy for you.”
“How are you feeling?” she asked. “You’re glowing as well.”
“I’m a chubby little ball of happiness. I can’t believe I shall give birth to my fifth child. I do wish Helen and Matthew could have come, but I understand her not wanting to travel since she’s increasing.” She glanced at the clock. “Goodness. We shall be late for tea, and you know that makes the duchess angry. She’s being so pleasant, I want to keep her that way.”
Kathryn and Jonathan enjoyed their time with the family, and they even had a lovely white Christmas. The biggest surprise of all…her mother hugged Melody on Christmas Day before everyone. She even told her she’d become an excellent duchess. Her mother also spent time with her grandchildren. She wished Helen could see the change in their mother.
Frankford and Jane enjoyed their cousins, and when it came time to leave Jane cried and Frankford grumbled, but they assured them they would see them when they arrived in London in the spring.
They left Sanderford Park on the seventh of January and traveled to Kent, since she’d agreed to do the Hastings family portrait. Kathryn enjoyed spending time with Susan and her children, and the family was so cooperative, she completed the painting in ten days.
When they arrived home from their travels, she helped Elaine pack. She was starting the term a bit late because of their journeys, but Mrs. Manning assured them Elaine could easily catch up with the other pupils.
Kathryn settled into managing her husband’s household. She spent her mornings with Mrs. Rollins and Cookie, and her afternoons with Frankford and Jane. While the children still missed their parents, they were moving past their grief.
Jonathan had given Frankford a pony and taught him to ride. Kathryn loved to watch them together. He was so patient with the lad, and Frankford adored his uncle. When they had children of their own, he would be a wonderful father.
Spring came quickly, and they made the journey to London. True to his promise, Jonathan had contacted his solicitor, and the man had located several properties that might be suitable for her studio, as well as several manors that were possibilities for the Safe Haven for Young Women.
Once they settle into her husband’s house in Bloomsbury, Kathryn was anxious to view the properties his solicitor had located for her studio, so they toured them the day a
fter they arrived.
She fell in love with a house on Curzon Street. A room on the top floor ran the length of the house, and one wall had floor-to-ceiling windows which would receive the morning sun. She turned to Jonathan. “This is perfect. Now I must find patrons.”
“Darling, you shall have more commissions than you can accept; once we host the party displaying your work, everyone will want you. When they see your landscapes, they will want those as well.” He chuckled. “I do hope you will find time for me and the children.”
“Always. As much as I love my art, you and the children come first.” She rose on her toes and gently kissed him. He pulled her close, and soon they were lost. They christened her new studio in the most delightful way.
The day after they found her studio, Henry sent word. Melody had given birth. They rushed to Sanderford Park to admire the new babe. Henry and Melody were thrilled with their new daughter, and Mary Elizabeth paraded around the house telling everyone, at last, she had her very own sister. They named the babe Miriam, after Melody’s beloved aunt, Lady Helton.
When they returned to London, Jonathan showed her the properties his solicitor had located as possible sites for the Safe Haven for Young Women. They found a lovely manor house in good repair on the outskirts of town.
Kathryn met with a great many vicars concerning her plans, and within a month, the Safe Haven opened. Her husband had hired a kind, motherly woman to run it, and the vicars had sent several unfortunate women to the manor. All the girls were increasing and had either lost their employment or their families had tossed them out.
In late May, Kathryn gazed at Jonathan after a bout of vigorous lovemaking. “Remember what I told you would be my greatest joy? It’s happened. Darling, I’m with child.”
His blue eyes glowed with tenderness. “Oh, my love, you have made me the happiest of men. When will our babe arrive?”