She said, “Beth, could I have a word with you, please?” I could hear a little hesitation in her voice. As though she didn’t know if she really wanted to do what she was doing.
“Yes, of course. What’s wrong?” I thought I might be sick.
“You are serious about Jason, aren’t you?” She crossed her arms over her front.
“Yes, of course I am.” I made myself sound as truthful as I could.
“It’s just, I’ve been thinking all night where I’ve seen you before. Now I remember, and well, I think that you might not be so sure of your feelings.”
I was a little lost for words.
“Jane, I appreciate the concern, but I am very sure of my feelings.” I wished that this conversation would end.
“Beth, I may be an old married woman, but I can understand body language and facial expressions. The way you and that man were that day... Well, I’m not stupid.”
I couldn’t think what to say. My mind was truly blank.
“I really don’t know what you mean. We are just friends. I love Jason and he and I are getting married. We will be very happy.”
“All I’m saying is, please don’t break his heart. He’s my baby boy and I love him.” She looked at me with pain in her eyes. I felt bad; really bad. I wasn’t lying, though. All that I had said was true. I was marrying Jason. We would be very happy together. Probably.
I looked into his mum’s eyes and told her all the truth I knew.
“I won’t hurt Jason,” I said. “I promise.” With a hollow heart, I smiled at her. As she turned around, I could see the knife in her back with my name carved in the wooden handle.
Spinning around, about to walk out of that atmosphere as fast as I could, I bumped into Jason. Not knowing how long he had been there, my face must have been a window into my guilty conscience.
“There you are. You all right?” he asked.
The look on his face was one of worry and kindness. He walked closer, and took my hand.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just got a little bit of a headache. Why?”
“No reason. I just heard you and Mum talking, that’s all.”
The sickness in my stomach was back with vengeance.
“Oh, right... It’s not what you think... I...”
“She wasn’t giving you a hard time, was she?” His brow furrowed with concern.
I let out a deep breath in relief.
“No, no. Of course not. We were just getting to know each other better. Nothing to worry about. Your mum’s really nice. I like her.”
Upon hearing this news, you could see Jason relax his shoulders. I guess he had been preoccupied with his own fears tonight. He pulled me in tight and encased me with his body. I could feel his heart beating, through the shirt that he was wearing. It felt good. I laid my head against his chest, and allowed my eyes to close. The rhythmic movements of him were comforting. He placed his chin on my head, and kissed me.
“Do you want to go home now?” he asked.
I answered, without moving away from him.
“Yes, if you don’t mind.” I suddenly felt exhausted.
“Come on, we can say a quick goodbye, and then we’ll go.”
The journey home was a blur. Jason carried me inside in his arms, bride-style. I looked up at him, and caught his eye and smiled at him hazily. He leaned in to kiss me. This was, the first time in a long time, I had looked at him with fresh eyes. He was so attractive, and I’d never really looked before.
I suddenly felt so close to him. He was a perfect gentleman; a perfect catch. For the first time since we had become engaged, I really believed that it could work. Could I actually be falling in love with him? The next day, I awoke with renewed happiness. Last night assured me of the one thing that had been troubling me. I did love Jason and I knew Jason loved me.
I got up, wrapped my yellow cotton dressing gown around me and went to the bathroom. I realised there was a spring in my step now when I walked. In the shower, I felt the burdens of the past weeks wash away. As they flowed down the drain, I stepped out of the shower and dried my brand new skin.
I could hear Jason in the kitchen, whistling. I think Jason thought last night went well, too. He always woke before me. He would spend his first few hours tidying and making breakfast.
I waltzed into the kitchen, spread my arms over his shoulders and kissed his cheek. With a smile on his face a mile wide, he turned and slid his arms around my waist.
“Hey, you.” He planted a big kiss on my lips. It just left me wanting more. I burrowed my tongue into his mouth. Warmth roamed around my body and so did his hands. They explored me, like they had right at the beginning. He gently pushed me backwards until we were in the living room. We got no further than the sofa.
After, he traced my belly button with his finger, then lifted my hand and kissed it gently.
“So, what do you want to do today?” he inquired, still playing with my hand.
“Well, first I’m going to have another shower.”
His mouth went all sly.
“Why, I love it when you’re dirty!” He grinned.
I rapped him on the shoulder.
“Stop it, you!” I smiled back. Standing up, I collected my clothes that had fallen to the living room floor. “Think of what we can do today, I’ll be back down in a minute.” I kissed his lips a third and final time before making my way back upstairs.
Once clean (for the second time that day), I walked back to the kitchen and inhaled the aroma of fresh coffee. I took a mug from the cupboard and continued to pour out a hot cup for myself. I walked to the living room.
Jason sat in a side chair, reading the local newspaper. He looked up when he heard me, smiled and looked back down.
“Clean again, are we?” He smirked, before he took a sip from his own coffee mug.
“Yes, thanks; and you can wipe that grin off your face!” As I said it, I couldn’t help but place a smirk on my own face.
I moved over to the sofa and sat down. Taking a sip from my mug, I looked up at Jason.
“So what are we going to do today then, Mr. Allman? Have you been thinking?”
He had a smile on his face, so it was obvious that he had.
“Well, I have, as a matter of fact.”
The suspense was killing me! I put my cup down on a table mat that I bought on a trip to London in a set of six.
“Well?!”
“Well, I was thinking that we’ve both met each other’s parents, so why don’t we have a dinner party, or go out for dinner with all our families?”
I felt a little confused.
“What you mean like, your aunties and uncles?”
He raised his eyes to the ceiling.
“No, I mean both of our families going out for a meal, so they could all meet. What do you think?”
I sighed to myself.
“Yeah, sounds great.” I tried to keep the despair from my voice. A meal with my family did sound great, but I knew that Russell would most definitely be there. With Jason’s mum there too, it could be a recipe for disaster. Still, I put a smile on my face. Beaming back, he lifted the paper again and then there was silence.
I finished my coffee, stood up and walked without a sound back to the kitchen. I turned on the tap, rinsed out my cup and put it on the side. Turning so that my back was against the counter, I started to think.
Who was I thinking about? Russell, of course. I hadn’t seen him for almost a week and I hadn’t thought about him for a couple of days. That was a lot for me; I used to think of him every day. Still, those times were now well and truly gone. I was over him, and that was that. Why should I become frightened every time I had to meet up with family? I was strong, and this meal was a good idea. It had to be... for all of our families!
The phone rang, which made me jump out of my reverie. With my heart pumping hard beneath my ribcage, I began for the phone. As I picked it up, I heard a voice and realised Jason had beaten me to the phone. I replaced the receiv
er, with a click.
With what little gusto I had left, I began collecting the few dirty dishes that were lying around the kitchen. The water that flowed through the tap was warm to the touch. I pushed the silver plug into its hole, flipped open the washing up liquid and poured a little in the water.
Again, I started to fall, head first, into my daze. With the hot water moving in a hypnotic way over my hands, my mind moved away from where I was standing. All I could see in my mind’s eye were all the times Russell and I kissed, or nearly kissed.
“Beth!” Jason exclaimed. He pushed past me and turned off the taps. I jumped out of my skin and after a few seconds, I understood why. The water had flowed over the edge of the sink and down the side of the cupboards. Looking down, I saw my feet in a puddle.
“Sorry.” I replied, with a flush in my cheeks.
“Where were you?”
I hoped and prayed that I didn’t have a guilty look on my face.
“Y’know; thinking about wedding stuff.” I smiled and swallowed hard. Jason wasn’t listening, as he was already fetching the mop from the cupboard. I took a deep breath, opened up a top cupboard, pulled out a large, fluffy, black towel and got down on my knees to help.
Jason said, “So, that was your mum on the phone. She wanted to invite us to dinner, I told her about the idea we had, and she’s up for it. When I’ve finished here, I’ll ring my mum.” He looked up with a grin on his lips, and a twinkle in his eyes.
I smiled back.
“Very funny, Jase. You go. I’ll do this.”
He got up, groaning, and marched out to the phone.
Later that day, I checked myself in the mirror. From my black, four-inch-high heels to the knee length black sequined dress I was wearing, everything on me sparkled. Even the clutch bag I had chosen was glittery.
After a moment, I threw the bag back into my closet and pulled out my shimmering earrings and replaced them for a plain black clutch and gold hoop earrings. As I finished curling my hair, my mind flicked to Russell, and the rest of the night.
I was becoming increasingly agitated as the meal got closer. Putting my head in my hands, I rubbed my temples. This was going to be a mess of a night! Hearing Jason walking up the stairs, I jumped up and brushed myself down. He walked into the room and kissed me.
“You look outstanding,” he whispered in my ear. I blushed slightly.
“Thanks. You look good, too.” It was all I could manage, without welling up with tears that I couldn’t explain.
“Shall we go?” he asked.
I realised that the time had run out for me, so I just nodded. Walking down the stairs, I was careful not to fall. The last thing I needed, right now was to end up with a broken leg. Mind you, at that moment, a broken leg didn’t sound like a bad alternative to dinner. As Jason opened the door, I saw that it had begun to rain. I looked at Jason.
“Oh, well. It looks like we won’t be going after all,” I said.
Jason cracked a smile.
“I’ll get the umbrella.” Two minutes later, he held a black umbrella in his hand. Holding out his other arm, he looked back at me. “Are you nervous?”
I wanted to say something like, “You’ll never know;” or run to the toilet and vomit. Instead, I just smiled and said, “Yes.”
Walking through the double doors, my faint feeling had yet to subside. As I looked ’round the room, I realized that Jason only went to up-class restaurants. The room had crystal chandeliers and most of the furnishings were draped in cream-coloured materials; tables, curtains and most of the diners.
It was a crowded place. Everyone I could see was laughing, chatting and clinking their wine glasses. I couldn’t see anyone drinking a pint of lager or cider. I did see the bar, though.
“Let’s have a drink,” I said to Jason.
Moving to the bar, Jason pulled out a stool for me. “Sit. I’ll go get the drinks. What do you want?” he asked.
I didn’t need to think about this one.
“Double vodka and lime, please, and make it snappy.” I laughed. When Jason had gone, the laugh turned into a growl. “What am I doing?” I asked myself out loud.
“I give up. What are you doing?” said a voice from behind me. Startled, I peered ’round my shoulder. Walking up to the bar was Sam and Russell, followed by Mum and Dad.
“Hi.” I grinned, and tried my hardest not to look at Russell. I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my head. Taking a deep breath, I got up and hugged everyone except him.
Sam said, “Well, if I haven’t said it already, congratulations Beth. You beat me to it.” She glanced at Russell. So did I; there wasn’t a flicker of emotion on his face.
“Nervous?” Mum chipped in.
“You could say that,” I replied.
Mum looked about the place.
“Where is my future son-in-law, anyway?”
“Getting me a drink. He’ll be pleased you all turned up.”
“Why wouldn’t we have turned up?” Mum questioned. Dad waited to be served at the bar.
“No reason,” I answered quickly. Then I stupidly shot Russell a fleeting look. His facade still hadn’t changed. Well, perhaps this was better than how he had been the last time I’d seen him. It might be easier to finish this stupid chapter in my life and move on properly with Jason.
I began to relax and enjoy my family’s company, until Jason came round the corner laughing with his mum and sister. Then I remembered the problem. Still, I got up from my seat and greeted them with open arms. They were happy to see me, too. Jason’s mum looked at Russell, and then back at me. She didn’t look too unhappy, so I carried on the conversation with Emma. When Jason passed my drink to me, I noticed that his dad was missing.
“Where’s your dad?” I asked Emma.
Jason said, “Oh, he hurt his ankle. Don’t ask me how, as I’ve not a clue. I will, however, be having words with him when I see him tomorrow.”
“Don’t be too mad at him, Jase. He would have come if he could. I don’t think he would miss it on purpose,” I said.
With a smile on his face, Jason put his arm around my shoulders.
“That’s one of the reasons I love you, y’know. You always see the good in everyone.” Then he kissed the top of my head. I was just glad I wasn’t going to have his lecherous father at the same table as me all night. I looked at Jason and felt a pang of guilt.
We waited about 10 minutes at the bar then we were shown to our table. Everyone looked at their menus. I had the sudden urge to look up from mine, and as I did, Russell caught my eye. I don’t know how long he had been looking at me, and I was surprised that no-one else had seen him staring. I quickly smiled, and put my head back down behind the menu again.
I hoped this wasn’t going to be happening all night, but it did. All through the meal, if I happened to let my gaze slip Russell’s way, he was always looking at me.
Eventually I excused myself to the toilet. In there, I leaned against the sink. What was going on? Why was he doing this? It was bad enough staring at me anyway, but to stare when I was eating? That was just rude.
Was he trying to make me feel uncomfortable? I had to stop thinking about it as I was becoming angrier and angrier. I took some slow, deep breaths; splashed cold water on my face, dabbed it with a little tissue, then checked my makeup. Opening the door to the toilets, I suddenly heard someone call my name.
“Hello?” I said, tentatively.
Was I going crazy? It sounded as if it was coming from the closet, across from the ladies toilet. No, it couldn’t be. So I ignored it. As I began to walk away, it called to me again. I answered it again. ”Who is it?” I put anger in my voice.
I moved closer to the door where I thought that it was coming from. This was madness! There wasn’t anyone calling my name. Nobody in a closet, anyway.
I went to walk back to the table. This time something or someone grabbed my hand and began to pull me back. I turned around, ready to scream. I was being pulled towards the
open crack of the broom closet door. As the tiny room’s darkness swallowed me, I started to scream, only to have a hand placed gently over my mouth. Oh my god! I was going to die!
“Beth, it’s me. Be quiet.”
Wait, I recognised that voice. It was Russell.
“What the bloody hell do you think you’re do—” Before I could finish what I was saying to him, his lips covered mine. Without thinking, I responded by pushing my tongue in his mouth. His hands found the door handle, and pulled it until I heard the click of it shutting completely.
His hands began to move around to my back. Down, and down they went. Further, until they then took a return trip up a ways. Past my thighs, then back down again. My hands were tangled in his hair. His hands moved to cup my face. Then they moved ’round to the back of my neck and he pushed my face tighter against his.
Meanwhile, his mouth was moving against mine ferociously. Like he couldn’t get enough. Harder, faster, deeper. This was amazing. This had been what I had been missing. We had kept away from each other, and now this had happened again! Wonderful and yet terrible. Disgusting.
He moaned, animal-like, as if he couldn’t help himself. Like he’d lost almost all control of himself. His breathing was rapid, as was mine. What was I doing? I knew very well what I was doing; I just didn’t care right at this very moment. He began to unzip my dress at the back. I’d been here before. The time I wanted to talk to Sam and she hadn’t been there, but Russell had. Tangled up like a ball of wool, we suddenly heard my name being called again. We froze like statues. It was Sam.
I prayed she wouldn’t decide to open this door. She called a second time. All you could hear between us was warm, desperate and ragged breaths. I could feel his chest pressed against me, rising and falling rapidly. We waited five minutes until we both thought she was gone. Turning back towards him, I kissed him gently. We couldn’t do anything more here. Russell zipped my dress back up and allowed his hand to linger for a second extra.
“I’ve missed you,” he whispered in my ear. I smiled in the dark; pleased that he still felt the same. Then I opened the door, closed it behind me and went back to the table. I wiped the smeared lipstick off and again reapplied it. I straightened my dress and walked back to Jason and our families.
Betrayal Page 13