“Beth...” She went silent for a few minutes. Mum looked at her.
“Sam, go on, say what you’ve got to say.”
She took a deep breath.
“Look, Beth, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say those things. I wasn’t thinking straight.” Her head went down so low that she nearly bent herself double. “I’m just really worried about Russell and me. Things aren’t right, and they haven’t been for a while now. I just snapped.”
I began to process the information. I glanced at her hands and the glass of water that she was cradling between them. At least she had stopped drinking alcohol. She was still slurring her words a little, but nothing like an hour ago. Mum had surely helped. A few strong words never went far wrong, when they were from Mum. I pulled out the chair nearest to me, sat down and took hold of her hand.
“Sam, you know that I love you,” I said. “I hate to see you like this. However in the morning, I think that the first thing you should do is ring Jason and tell him how sorry you are.”
She looked up at me, with a surprised look on her face. Slowly her hand moved up to her mouth.
“Oh no. I’m so, so sorry Beth. I completely forgot that.” She began to cry. Standing up I placed my arms around her shaking form and hugged her tightly to me.
“He’ll be all right with you; he’s very forgiving. Please don’t be sad. This is meant to be a celebration.” I pulled out a tissue from my bag and handed it to her. She took it and dried her eyes. My mind began to wander back to Jason. I still couldn’t believe how he had been with me over what Sam had done. If he thought I was going to crawl around to his house tomorrow and beg for forgiveness, then he was sorely mistaken.
I looked back to Sam. She was still crying. Mum had her arm around her trying to reassure her that everything was going to be OK.
Sam said to her, “Mum, I don’t think it’s going to be all back to normal tomorrow. You didn’t see the look on his face. It was pure hatred.” She started to cry again. “Oh, Mum, I don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me.” She buried her face into Mum’s shoulder and sobbed.
I decided to step in.
I said, “Sam, he won’t leave you, He loves you. Everyone can see that. Just be honest when you talk to him and please do it when you’re sober.” I grinned at her.
Sam smiled back. “I will.”
“If worst comes to worst and he does leave you, well, you’ve been through this before. You’ve gotten through it and come out stronger as a result.” I grabbed her hand again. “I know I’m gonna sound like the song, but you will survive.”
Sam wiped her eyes, blew her nose and stood up. “I’m going to get a breath of fresh air for a minute. You know, clear my head. Think about what I’m going to say to him.” She walked off a few steps and then turned back round. “Beth, I am really sorry.”
“I know you are. Go and do your planning and get your man back.” Sam smiled and walked into the crowd. I turned back to look at Mum.
“Do you think that she’s going to be all right?”
Mum took her lipstick from her clutch bag and reapplied it. “Yes, love. I think that she’ll be just fine.”
“Good.” I smiled and got up. “I’m going to get myself a drink. Do you and Dad want anything?” I stopped and thought for a second. “Where is dad?”
“Oh, he’s dancing with Daisy.”
“Dad’s dancing? Dad never dances.”
Mum chuckled “Well, Daisy isn’t one to take no for an answer. She managed to get Uncle James and your father up to dance.”
“Right. Well done, Aunty Daisy. Rather her than me, though. Do you want another drink?”
“No, thanks, my love. I’m fine until your dad comes back.”
“I’ll be back in a bit.”
As I made my way to the bar, I decided that I would take this opportunity to go to the ladies’ room. I hadn’t been for a while, what with all the commotion. I had been too distracted. As I made my way to the toilet, I passed a room with its door closed. This particular room only caught my attention because I could hear noises coming from it.
I stopped outside, wondering if I should enter to see if it was children mucking around, but as I went to grab the handle I suddenly recognised a voice, It was Sam! It didn’t sound as though she was in pain, but she was doing a lot of panting. I put two and two together and realized that she and Russell had obviously made up. I carried on to the toilets in a more somber mood than before. However much I tried, I just couldn’t get rid of these feelings I had for him. That was why I had to stay away from him completely. Well, as much as I could get away with.
After I came back from the toilets, I went to the bar and got that drink that I had promised myself. I stood there, taking nice big sips of the vodka in its tall thin glass, with a slice of lime.
“Hi,” someone said.
I looked to my right and there, bold as brass, without looking out of breath, or red in the face, was Russell. I turned back to my drink.
“Hello,” I replied, just to be civil.
“What’s the matter?”
Nothing.” I took another sip of my drink. “Where have you been?”
“I went for a walk to clear my mind.”
“Well, it must have done the trick. Is Sam happier now?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t found her yet. I was gonna ask if you knew where she was.”
I stopped drinking and looked ’round at him.
“What do you mean, you haven’t found her?” He looked as confused as I felt.
“I mean just that. I came back to the party to talk with her and I don’t know where she is.”
I felt as though I’d been smacked in the face with a brick. If she hadn’t been in that room with Russell, then who had been in there with her?
CHAPTER 13
I suddenly felt very ill. I had a feeling that Sam had done something that she was most likely going to regret. I was beginning to wish that I had walked into the room.
Of course, I would have regretted that, but at least I could have stopped her. I focused on Russell. What was I going to say to him? What was my plan of action going to be? I know we hadn’t been what you would call “good” but we hadn’t done... that. We hadn’t gone all the way, I mean. Sam had done it with some stranger. She had hit a new low. I suddenly felt very sorry for Russell.
“Have you seen her, then?”
“Um, not for a while. You could try Mum. I think Sam was with Mum last time I saw her.” I swallowed the last of my drink.
“Thanks. Could we talk after I’ve seen Sam?”
“What about?”
He looked ’round himself, to make sure no-one could hear him.
“About us.” The barmaid walked over to us to see if we needed a drink. “No thanks,” Russell said.
“I’ll have one, please. Vodka and lime.” I took the money out of my purse.
“Let me get it,” Russell said.
“No, thank you.” I handed the money to the girl behind the bar. “What about us?”
“Can I talk to you, later?”
“No, you can’t, Russell. There is no ‘us’.” With that, I walked away and stood next to the nearest wall. I mainly did this so I could see where Russell went. Because if he went anywhere near that room, I would have to stop him. He didn’t. He walked right over to me again. He leaned against the wall in a similar fashion to how I did.
“Please Beth. I need to talk to you.” God, if only I smoked, I would have one right now.
“Talk to me about what?”
“About what happened tonight.”
“Nothing happened except you and Sam had an argument.” His hands were in his pockets, and his head was slumped down so that his chin touched his chest.
“You know what that row was really about, Beth. It wasn’t just an ordinary argument. There were underlying reasons for it.”
“Yes, well, please don’t try and blame me for them. I’m the only one trying to stop this all from happening.�
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“Look, can’t we be friendly towards each other?”
As I was about to answer his question, I noticed Sam swing into the room. She was on her own. So, no clues there, then.
“Russell. This is hard enough without pretending to be friends as well and making niceties in front of everyone. I’ve told you that I can’t do this and I meant it. Please go and make up with my sister and let’s leave it at that.”
I finished my drink, walked off over to where Sam was and sat down beside her.
“Hi,” I said nonchalantly. She looked at me and smiled sweetly. “So, you feeling better now, Sam?”
“Yep.”
“Did you manage to clear your head?”
“Yep.”
“Good. Come to any conclusions?”
Sam shook her head.
“Nope, not really.”
I cleared my throat.
“So, what were you doing while you were gone then?”
“Nothing, just getting level-headed again.”
I really wanted to say something to her, but every time the words were in my mouth, they just wouldn’t come out. I was finding this very frustrating.
“Have you seen Russell yet?”
“No, why would I? He left the party.”
“Well, he’s here somewhere, and he’s looking for you.” Suddenly, she looked panicked. Her face began to flush. “What’s wrong?” I asked. As if I didn’t know.
“Um, nothing. I’m fine. Beth, where did you see him last?”
“Over there.” My finger pointed in the direction of the wall that we had stood by just minutes before. Sam began to panic, as where I had stood happened to be in the same direction from which she had returned.
“Beth, would you do me a big favour? I’m feeling really tired and I need to go home. If you see Russell again, would you tell him that I went home about an hour ago?”
“Yes, but why?”
“I’ll explain later. ’Bye.”
With that, she was gone. I guessed she was in a fluster that Russell might have seen her with whoever she had been with. I wasn’t going to put her right. She deserved this little bit of worry and distress. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was quarter to 12. The party was ending. I picked up my coat, said goodbye to everyone and walked out the door. Russell was standing against my car. I sighed. I thought all the drama had finished.
“What now, Russell?”
“I couldn’t find Sam.”
“No, she went home about an hour ago.” It didn’t feel right lying to him like this. It felt strange. I could lie to Sam no problem, but it felt wrong doing it to him.
“Oh. I really needed to speak with her.”
“Then go home. She’ll be there.”
“Sure. Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you, then.” He turned and began to walk slowly away.
“Russell.” I caught my breath, not sure if I should say what I was about to say. “Would you like a lift?”
The look on his face as he turned ’round was a mixture of sorrow and happiness. I think he was feeling a little sorry for himself.
“Thanks,” he said.
As I got into the car, with one foot in and the other out, I stopped and looked at him.
“There’s only one condition, though.”
He looked back, puzzled.
“What?” he asked.
“There’s that one subject matter that’s off limits. Bring it up and I’ll stop the car. You’ll walk home the rest of the way. Deal?”
Defeatedly, he nodded his head and we headed for home.
The journey was mostly silent, which wasn’t a bad thing, but it did make for a longer and more uncomfortable time together. I didn’t want to make conversation, in case I said the wrong thing and put my foot in my mouth. I turned the radio up and hummed along to everything that came on. When we arrived at his house, I think he was glad to get out. He walked up to the front door and then paused, twisting to face me.
“Thanks for the lift.” He pushed his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you around.”
I smiled. “Yeah. Sorry if I was acting weird. It’s been a long night. ’Bye.” Without further ado, I drove off. The drive back was somewhat refreshing. I felt as though I could take on the world.
The next day, the phone woke me from a surreal dream. I wasn’t too upset, but slightly shaken. Trying to slow my heart rate, I walked down the stairs to answer the call. I didn’t make it and the answer machine clicked in. I needed to change that message I had recorded. It annoyed me immensely. Then again, most people felt the same.
It was Jason’s bleak tones, cutting through the speaker. “Uh, hi Beth. It’s Jason. I thought you’d be awake by now, but I guess you’re not. I think I need to apologise for last night. I may have gone a little overboard. So, sorry. And um, I love you. When you do get this message, could you ring me back and we’ll arrange something for today? If you want. Mum said to say, hi. Um, well, I think that’s it for now. So like I said, ring me as soon as you’re up. OK? Well, ’bye then. Love you. ’Bye.” Then the phone’s dial tone sounded around the kitchen and woke me from my somnolent state.
I moved ’round the cupboards, grabbing the things needed for coffee. I had to think what I was going to do about Sam’s predicament. I couldn’t begin to worry about Jason right now. One thing though, I wasn’t going to be happy with that poor example of sweet-talk he just left on the machine. He obviously didn’t know me.
Once dressed, the first thing I did was ring Sam. Do a bit of prodding; see if she was willing to tell me anything.
The phone rang and rang until, at last, she picked up.
“Hello?” She sounded groggy and in pain. It really did serve her right.
“Sam? It’s me, Beth.”
For a few seconds she was quiet.
“Hi.”
“How’re you feeling?”
“OK. I’m sorry about what happened last night. I don’t know what came over me.”
“That’s all right. Please, don’t do it again. If there’s something that you want to talk about, then come and talk to me.”
“I will.”
There was a small break in the conversation. If there was a time to broach the subject, then now was it.
“So... Um, you’re OK then?” I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask Sam who it was she was with last night.
“Yeah. I’ve got a bit of a headache and dry mouth, but I’m bearing up.”
“Good. Have you spoken to Russell yet?” I bit my bottom lip and waited for her reply.
“No, not yet. He’s still asleep in bed. I was thinking of going to Mum’s for a few hours. I don’t know if I can handle him right now.”
“Sam, you’ll have to face him, you know.”
“I know, but after what happened last night, what we said... I don’t imagine I’ll like what he has to say this morning.”
I sighed. “Right, whatever you think best. So, I guess I’ll be going then, if that’s it.” Then it struck me what to say next. “Sam, you can remember everything from last night, can’t you?”
“Most of it. Why?”
“I just didn’t want you suddenly remembering something that you’d forgotten, that’s all. Right; well, I’ll speak to you later, then. I’ve got a few things to sort out. ’Bye.”
“Beth, tell Jason I’m sorry, won’t you?”
“I will.”
I replaced the receiver no wiser. This was frustrating. What could I do now? I wasn’t in the right mood to tackle Jason, but I had to talk to someone about Sam. Then it flashed in my head. Megan. I could ring Meg. She’d know what to do. She always did in these situations. I mean, she’d been in almost all possible bad scenarios, herself. I dialled her number as quick as my fingers would allow.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Beth. Hiya.”
I took a breath.
“I need to talk to you.”
“What about? Is it serious?”
&nbs
p; “It’s nothing to worry about. Well it is, but it’s not serious. I mean, it is serious, but...”
“Beth, calm down. You’re rambling. Take a breath and start again.”
I took another deep breath, and let it out slowly. This wasn’t going as well as I thought it would.
“Something happened at the party last night. With Sam. I’ve tried talking to her, but now I’m more confused than ever, as I don’t know if she remembers it, or not.”
“What is it that happened?”
“Sam had a sexual encounter with someone other than Russell.” That was the only way I could think to word it. As soon as I had said it, I had the sudden urge to cry. There was a lump in my throat. I tried to swallow it back down. All I could see was Russell. How could she have done that to him? What was going through her mind at the time? I wanted to go ’round and slap her right across the face. Of all the dumb, stupid and selfish things she had ever done, this was the worst.
“What? What do you mean a ‘sexual encounter’?”
“What do you think I mean?”
“She slept with someone.”
“Yes, Meg. Sam slept with someone!”
“How the hell did you find this out if Sam doesn’t even know?”
“I never said she didn’t know. I said I’m not sure if she remembers.”
“Well, anyway, how do you know?”
“I was looking for her and I recognised her voice coming from a room. I thought she was with Russell until he came back into the party and asked me where she was. So I know she wasn’t with him.”
“Oh, shit. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. That’s why I was ringing you.”
She started making a few thinking noises. I could hear her lighting up a cigarette. She took a drag, and then I could hear her exhale softly down the phone. I balanced the phone between my chin and shoulder, and poured myself another cup of coffee. My stomach was calling out for food, but I just wasn’t hungry.
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