Betrayal

by Lucy-Anne Smith

  “Look, we all make mistakes. Anyway, she told me that she wasn’t happy and it wasn’t going well”

  “Ollie, you need to sort your head out. Your arrogance is clouding your judgment!”

  “So, you won’t accept my apology?”

  “Look, at one point I thought you were a nice person. Now, I realise you’re an ass. Please don’t ring me again and stay away from my sister. Next time I won’t be so lenient.”

  With that, I slammed the phone down. I was shaking from head to toe, and needed a cup of coffee. I’d had enough alcohol. I flicked the kettle on. While I was waited for it, I had time to think.

  Before Russell came along, my life was pretty good. Now, it was sliding downhill fast. From now on, I would concentrate on me and Jason and let everyone else slide instead. That night, I had a pretty peaceful sleep. Knowing my life, though, that wouldn’t last long.

  The next day wasn’t eventful. I had work. The first client of the day was Mrs. Pierce. As I put in the perming rods, we had a nice chat. As an added bonus, Mrs. Pierce made me a cup of tea. I always found my job relaxing. It was a good day, so far. My new plan was working. Then my phone rang.

  “Hello?” I said, answering it.

  “Beth? It’s me, Sam.”

  “Hi, are you all right? You sound a little out of breath.”

  “I need to talk to you, Beth.”

  I knew it. This peace wasn’t going to last.

  “Why, what’s wrong?”

  “I don’t want to tell you over the phone. Can we meet up some time today?”

  “Hang on.” I held the phone between my ear and shoulder and looked at my day planner. “Yes. I can meet you at two.”

  “I’ll meet you at Perry’s.”

  I put the phone down and carried on with Mrs. Pierce’s hair. At two I was at Perry’s and had two coffees waiting for Sam to show up. Sam came round the corner and sat down opposite me.

  “So, what’s so urgent that it couldn’t wait till later?” I asked her.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Beth.” Her face was white as a sheet and it was scaring me.

  “Sam, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  CHAPTER 16

  My head was spinning. I needed to check that I had heard her right. I thought Sam had just said that she was pregnant.

  “What?” I asked, knowing even as I said it, that it was a stupid question.

  “I’m pregnant,” Sam repeated.

  Well, at least my hearing hadn’t failed. My mind was another matter.

  “OK. Right. OK. Um.” This piece of information had to sink in first. I took a deep breath, let it out and said, “OK. Is it Ollie’s?”

  “I’m guessing that it is, yes.”

  I rubbed my forehead. “Sam, help me out here. Have you slept with Russell in the last month or so?”

  “No.” She shook her head.

  “Right, then it’s Ollie’s. Unless you’ve slept with anyone else?” She looked at me as if I’d just hurt her feelings. “I’m sorry, Sam, but I had to ask. I wasn’t being nasty just for the sake of it.”

  I tilted my head up to the sky as a breeze blew past us. The experience was exhilarating for that second. The sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. This would have been a great day, except for this new problem.

  “Beth, what am I going to do?”

  “It’s simple; if you want to keep it, then we lie.” An image flashed through my mind of Russell. I felt a pain rip through my chest. Personally, I didn’t think that there was anything worse than lying, but this had to be done for Sam’s sake. I was her older sister. I had to be behind her 100 percent.

  “Can we do that?” she asked.

  This was killing me inside. All I wanted to do was scream in her face, “No! You don’t deserve him! He wants me not you!” Of course, I couldn’t.

  “Yes, we have to, Sam.”

  “What if I were to get rid of it?”

  “Sam, I can’t give you that answer. All I can say is, I don’t agree with abortion. If you decide to go that route, however, then I’ll support you as best as I can.”

  Poor Sam looked so confused, but I couldn’t make this easier. She had to make that choice for herself. “Do you know how pregnant you might be?” I asked her

  “Well, I slept with Ollie...” She began to count on her fingers. “Six weeks ago, so... Maybe a month, give or take a week?”

  “Good, that gives us a small window of time for you to decide what to do.” I sipped my now-cold coffee. “Right, I’ve got to go. Ring me straight away when you’ve decided.”

  “OK, Beth. Thanks.”

  I smiled weakly.

  “See you later, Sam.”

  For the rest of the day, all I could think about was Sam and Russell. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. This didn’t help my clients much, as they only had 50 percent perfect hairstyles as a result. I always prided myself on my work. Well, for the rest of that day, I couldn’t care less. I don’t think any of them noticed, though. That night I had a phone call from Sam.

  “Hi, it’s me, can you talk?” she asked.

  “Hang on.” I took the phone out of the living room and into the back garden, away from Jason. “Yes, I can now.” I was dreading what was going to come out of her mouth. If she said that she wasn’t going to keep the baby, I would have that memory for the rest of my life.

  On the other hand, if she had chose to keep it, Russell would forever be Sam’s and I would have contributed to that state. I would never be able to look Russell in the face again. “So, have you decided?”

  There was silence. Then she spoke. “Yes. I have.”

  “Well, what have you decided, Sam?”

  “That I’m going to keep it. At least, that’s how I feel right now.”

  She didn’t sound like she was sure about it. Nevertheless, it was her decision.

  “Right; so are you going to tell Russell?”

  “Yes.”

  “When?”

  “Um, I don’t know.”

  “Well, what are you going to say to him, Sam?”

  “I hadn’t gotten that far, yet.”

  “I think that you should put some thought behind what you’re going to say. It’s going to come as a shock to him, I expect.”

  I walked across the grass to sit on one of my patio chairs. The grass was cold under my feet and it tickled. However, the sun was still warm on my face. I sat down on the blue and white striped chair.

  “When I tell him, Beth, would you be with me?”

  “Sam, I really don’t think...”

  “Please, Beth. I need you there with me.”

  The pain in her voice was fighting with the pain in my heart. I wanted to ask her to not make me do this, but if I had, she would have wondered why.

  “Sam, I really don’t think it’s my place to be there.”

  “Please, Beth. I can’t do this on my own. You promised me that you’d support me.”

  Emotional blackmail always worked with Sam. She had been doing it all her life.

  “Fine. I’ll be there, Sam. Please give me a few hours warning so I can prepare myself.”

  “I want to do it tomorrow night. I’ll tell him you’re coming over for dinner. We’ll go from there.”

  “What time?”

  “Come over at six. Then we can get our stories straight.”

  “Wait—I’ve just thought of something. If you two weren’t sleeping together, won’t he know that it’s not his?”

  “We slept together two weeks before Ollie, so I’ll just lie about how pregnant I am.”

  One lie after another. This was all going to come crashing down around us if we weren’t careful.

  “See you then,” I told Sam.

  I walked back across the lawn and into the house. The birds had stopped singing and it was getting rather dark. It seemed that I had been on the phone for hours, but I’d only been talking for minutes. I felt
the goosebumps coming out on my arms, so I wrapped a cardigan round me. Walking into the living room, Jason looked round.

  “I made you a drink but it’s probably cold now. Do you want me to make you another?

  “No, it’s OK. I don’t want one. I was thinking of going wedding dress shopping tomorrow with Meg, Rachel and Izabelle.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, great. It saves me going.”

  “I wouldn’t have asked you anyway.” I laughed

  He tapped my bum, as I walked past. I sat in the chair and dialled hoping that Meg was free, otherwise I’d have to either wait or take Sam. At the moment, I wanted to spend as little time with her as I could. Meg answered the phone laughing.

  “Hellooo,” Meg sang down the phone.

  “Hiya; it’s me.”

  “Hi, me. What do you want?”

  “Ha, ha. Very funny.” I curled my legs around me. “Are you free tomorrow?”

  “What time and what for?” Meg asked like a detective.

  “Anytime tomorrow morning. It’s to look at wedding dresses.”

  “Sure, I love dress shopping, so may as well make them wedding-y. Pick me up at 11.”

  “Do me a favour? Ring Rach and Izzy, would you? Ask if they want to come.”

  “You don’t want much do you?” she giggled. “Yes, all right. I’ll see you tomorrow. Don’t be late. I’m a busy girl.” With that, her phone was down and it was just Jason and me again. I looked over at Jason to tell him the plans for tomorrow, but it was too late. He was asleep and snoring his head off, bless him.

  All through the dress shopping, I was trying to get Meg alone. I needed to tell her what was happening with Sam. However, every time I tried, either Rachel or Izzy were with her. So my plans failed. I was determined that I would catch her on the way home.

  “What about this one, Beth?” Meg asked.

  I looked over to Meg holding out a medieval-looking red and black wedding dress. Well, I say wedding dress; it could have been fancy dress.

  “Lovely, Meg. More for you, though, than me.”

  She looked a little exasperated as she pushed it back into the rack.

  “Yeah, like you’d catch me in one of those. We’ve looked at a lot of these bloody things. You’ve still yet to find one that you like.”

  Megan had very little patience for spending much time doing anything other than drinking or flirting. So after an hour looking at dresses of this kind, she was close to cracking up.

  “Shall we go for something to eat?” I was nearly fed up myself.

  “Good idea. Lets go.”

  We spun round to see if Rachel and Izzy were coming.

  “I’m going to go look at rings,” Rachel said. “Izzy’s coming with me. We’ll meet you two in a little while.”

  “Yeah, see you in a bit.”

  Walking away, I knew that this was my chance to tell her.

  I cleared my throat. “So, Sam’s pregnant.”

  Meg stopped in her tracks.“Sam’s pregnant!”

  “Yup. And she’s keeping it.”

  “Oh my god! Is it Russell’s?”

  “No. She’s pretending that it is and she wants me to go along.”

  “Are you, Beth?”

  “Yup.”

  Meg shook her head and carried on walking. “So Ben’s gonna be a daddy?”

  “Nope. Sam didn’t sleep with Ben. He lied to help her out.”

  “What?”

  “So he claims.”

  We sat down at a table outside a little cafe.

  Meg looked thoughtful and asked, “So if it’s not Ben’s or Russell’s, then whose is it?”

  “Ollie’s.”

  “Who’s Ollie?”

  “You know my Aunty Daisy and Uncle James.”

  “Yeah,” Meg said.

  “Their son.”

  The waitress came over and we ordered our drinks. Today had begun well, but now, talking about this mess, I could feel its weight on me again. So much that I felt a single tear run down my cheek. I put my head down and wiped it away.

  “Beth, you can’t let her keep doing this to you. You need to say, enough is enough. This isn’t your problem. She needs to start fighting her own battles.”

  She held my hands over the table and that small piece of affection made me cry harder.

  “It’s not, Meg. The main problem is, I’m torn between Sam and Russell. I can’t let Sam down; she’s my sister. But I think I’m in love with Russell. It’s breaking my heart and there’s nothing I can do. I’m stuck.

  “Oh Beth...”

  “I won’t do anything with him again and I am marrying Jason. It’s just... hard. I needed someone to talk to. I don’t mean to burden you with this.”

  “That’s what I’m here for. Burden away.”

  I wiped my face with my sleeve again. Our drinks came. Trying to smile, I sipped my hot chocolate.

  “Thanks, Meg. You’re a true friend.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Well, I do keep telling you and it’s only now that you realise it.”

  Meg asked, “So when’s she telling him?”

  “Tonight. I’ve got to be ’round there at six.

  “I suppose she’s not going to tell Ollie, then?”

  “I don’t think so, but you never know with Sam.”

  Meg held her white china cup up in the air. I wondered what she was doing.

  “Well, here’s to tonight. May all go well!”

  “Ha, ha, ha, very poetic.”

  I raised my cup and tapped it against Meg’s. On the dot of six, I knocked on Sam’s door. When the door opened, I was expecting Sam to be there, but it was Russell instead.

  “Oh... Hi,” he said. He smiled at me. “You look a bit shocked. You knew that I was going to be here tonight, didn’t you?” he asked.

  “Yeah, sorry. I just assumed that Sam would open the door, that’s all.”

  He moved out of the way and I stepped inside. Taking my jacket, he was still smiling. That smile was like an abyss that I got sucked into every time. I tried to smile back but it came out as more of a grimace.

  “Come on through. Sam’s in here.” Russell led the way. I followed into their lair. All three of us sat in silence. I couldn’t make conversation. I felt too sick. I was guessing that Sam was also pretty nervous.

  “Shall I get some drinks?” Russell asked everyone. “Beth, would you like a drink?”

  “Yes, please. Anything you got that’s alcoholic is fine.”

  “Sam?”

  “I’ll just have a coke.”

  “Sure. I’ll be right back.” Off he went, happy as a little lamb before the slaughter.

  I let out a large sigh.

  “I’m so sorry, Beth. When I told him this morning that you were coming ’round for dinner, he decided to finish work early. I tried to ring you but you didn’t answer.”

  “When I saw him at the door, it scared the life out of me.”

  “Look, don’t worry. Let me do all the talking. You just back me up.”

  “Fine. Let’s get this over with. As soon as it’s done, I’m going home.”

  Sam didn’t have time to answer as Russell came back in the room with the drinks.

  “There’s yours.” He handed a glass of coke to Sam. “This one is for you.” He passed me an immense glass of white wine.

  “Thank you.” I smiled.

  Again, we all sat there mute. I had to say something. I cleared my throat.

  “So, how are you two?” I asked.

  They looked at each other. Sam answered.

  “We’re OK.”

  “That’s good. How’s your job going, Russell?”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s OK. I would like something at night, but what you gonna do?”

  This was like dying a very slow death. It was agony. I didn’t know what to say and neither did Sam. But if we didn’t speak, he would guess something was up. Sam jumped up.

  “I’m going to check the food.” With that, she was gone, leaving
me to deal with Russell, on my own.

  I looked back at Russell. Of course, he was looking at me.

  “So,” he said in a low-toned voice. “How come you’re here tonight, then? I thought you were avoiding me?”

  “I am. Sam just invited me ’round, I didn’t want to upset her.”

  “How are you, Beth?”

  He did look concerned.

  “I’m surviving. How are you doing?”

  “I’m good.” We sat there for about a minute, without a word between us. He said, “Beth, I miss you.”

  Before I could answer, Sam walked back in.

  “Right, it’s almost ready,” she said.

  The stillness was crushing. I poured the rest of my drink down my throat and put the glass down. A couple more and I would be an alcoholic. Sam picked up my glass.

  “Want another one, Beth?”

  “Yes, but bring the bottle in. It’ll save you getting up and down.”

  She nodded her head and walked out of the room. Russell leaned forward.

  “Well...”

  “Well, what, Russell?” I asked impatiently.

  “Are you going to answer what I asked you?”

  “What do you want me to say to you?”

  “That you miss me too.” His voice was imploring.

  “I do miss you. That doesn’t change things, Russell.”

  “It could... if you’d let it.”

  “Yes, but I won’t.”

  That last statement ended the conversation. Sam walked in holding a bottle. Taking it, I poured another large glass, drained it then poured another.

  “Sorry. I’ve had a bad day today,” I said.

  The dinner was nice, although I hardly touched it. With all the wine, I was feeling lightheaded. We all went back into the living room, afterwards. Russell went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.

  “When are you telling him?” I demanded, irritated now.

  “When he comes back in,” Sam said

  “Have you thought what you’re going to say?”

  “A little.”

  “So you’re just going to wing it, then?”

  Sam shot me a look that said I better keep my comments to myself, so I did. Russell walked back in with three cups on a tray. He placed them on a table and we all helped ourselves.

  My heart was pounding. Sam looked at me and took a deep breath. She stood.

  “Russell, I’ve got something to tell you.” He looked up from where he sat. I put my hand on my mouth. This was it, no going back. “There was a reason why Beth came ’round tonight.”