by Jax Hart
“Fuck!” I yell so loud the goddamn walls shake.
Trudging into the bathroom, I open my shaving kit finding an old bottle of lube. I spurt it onto my demon boner and shuffle back to the couch. This time, when I close my eyes, I smell her skin, taste her lips and feel her wet heat ride me—up and down.
Up and down.
Her huge tits bounce in my face, my hand slides fast up and down my greased shaft, but in my mind—its Shanna fucking Flynn who is taking me over the edge.
“FUCK!” I curse again, spurting onto my stomach in waves.
It’s a reprieve.
But it’s not enough. I need her.
Badly.
MY EYES BLINK, trying to focus.
I’m so damn tired.
The adrenalin that pumped through me earlier triggered by Duke’s words wore off an hour ago.
I smile weakly, pulling into the old ranch-style house where I grew up. Despite my need for answers, I key in quietly, not having the heart to wake Pops. It will have to wait until morning.
After grabbing a quick shower, I quickly comb through my wet hair and climb into bed.
Thoughts run through my head at how his soft beard felt between my breasts as he licked and sucked the alcohol from my body.The feel of his tongue on my skin is burned into my brain.
I instantly get wet, picturing his head between my thighs dreaming of feeling his silky hair and beard brushing between my legs as his tongue and mouth make me come.
One hand slides down under my loose pajama pants, finding myself wet for a man who will never be mine.
I thrash on the bed.
It’s not enough.
I’m horny—all the damn time.
I’ve got to be the only virgin left in town.
Throwing my covers off the bed, I open my dresser, finding the vibrator that I hid stuffed inside. I climb back into the bed pinching my nipples. I lift my shirt letting the cold night air tease them into tight buds.
Switching the vibrator on, I kneel in the center of the bed and slip it in. Throwing my head back, closing my eyes—I imagine that I’m riding Duke Masters. With one hand gripping the vibrator, my other works my nipples and clit until I come. Falling forward, I grab a pillow and bite down; stifling the sound of his name as I scream, coming alone.
But in my mind, it was him, doing this to me. I’m entirely spent, letting the last spasms of my climax roll through me, before sliding the vibrator out and chucking it to the floor in disgust.
I can’t believe I just got myself off thinking about him.
The powerful orgasm that ripped through me leaves me sated and tired. I pull my thick comforter up, letting sleep take the pain away from having everything that I’ve worked so hard for, ripped away by a man who pisses me off as much as turns me on.
Tina’s opening the bar and working lunch today, so I don’t have to be in until six. Groaning, I pad across the floor to my bathroom, hoping another shower will help clear the fog of fatigue from my brain. Because I need to study today, not be wet and aching for a man I can’t no—won’t touch again.
He's bad for me. So bad, but damn it felt so good.
I turn the faucet on, rinsing the pans before setting them in the sink. The view from the kitchen window brings a smile to my lips. No matter how upset I might be, the wild hills outside of town are beautiful.
The leaves on the trees have just started to change. Their colors making the world come alive.
As much as Duke pissed me off last night, I think that if it’s true that he, in fact, does own a piece of my business—it might be for the best. I feel guilty about leaving Pops, but he's stubborn, insisting he'll die in this house. He won't move to California with me when I graduate, and maybe Duke could buy us out. I want to be here for Pops, I really do. But the longer I stay in this same old town I feel like my life will be frozen... on pause and only by leaving can it truly begin.
He doesn't understand and it's a sticking point for us. He blames me for being too much like Mom, wanting a glamourous life above the hills of Hollywood.
I don't want that.
I just want to experience new things and have a normal life. Hell, I had a freakin’ bodyguard for most of my childhood when the MC was in its prime and Dad was on the take. He thinks I still don't know. But I know plenty. Thankfully, it's been years since he laundered money through the bar. He did that stuff back in the day before everything was digitalized. He'll never get caught, and I'm relieved. There's no way he could survive jail in his frail state.
"Is that eggs and bacon, I smell?"
He walks into the kitchen with most of his weight supported by his cane, while rolling the tank of oxygen next to him with his other hand.
Turning away from the sink, I greet him, "Good morning. How are you feeling today?" Reaching for a mug, I pour him a full cup of steaming coffee. He sits down at the table with a grunt. He’s still as proud as he always was and will never admit to being in pain.
Pops was always a big man. When I was a little girl, he was the protector from my fairy tales. I always knew that no one would ever hurt me, or Pops would kill them.
Literally.
But now, arthritis and years of hard living has taken its toll. He sits down, and I serve him a stacked plate before taking a seat across from him and grip the side of my mug. The corners of his mouth lift as he watches me add hazelnut creamer and sugar. I never could stand the taste of black coffee, it’s too bitter for me.
“I need to talk to you about something.”
“What’s that? Is anyone at the bar giving you trouble? I'll take care of it.”
"No. No, it's nothing like that. Do you remember Duke Masters?"
"Of course. His father, John, was like a brother to me, before that bitch came between us."
"W-what... who?"
"Never mind. Why?"
"Duke’s father died. He came into town for the funeral. He's still here..." I break off.
Pops’ hands start shaking, and hot coffee sloshes over the rim of his cup and spills on the table. I get up quickly, dabbing the spot with a napkin and take the mug out of his hands.
"Pops?" I cover his hands with mine until the shaking subsides.
"I didn't know. Dammit. I wish someone would've told me. We haven't been friends for years, but you don't miss that shit. I should've fucking been there Shanna!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't know a thing about either of them until recently. I don’t have to be in until tonight. Do you want me to drive you to the cemetery?"
He closes his eyes, with the tubes from the oxygen tank firmly in his nose and his once dark hair now full white, my heart skips a beat in fear because it's hard to miss how fragile he's become.
"Thanks. I'd like that."
"There's something else Pops. Last night, Duke came in and told me that he owns half of Stan’s."
He shuts his eyes again and inhales sharply. "It is. I'm sorry baby girl. I completely forgot about it. When I parted ways with his father, both of us couldn't give a damn about money or the business. We were hours away from killing each other. Christ, the only reason why we didn't is because each of us had young children. Hell, neither of us wanted our kids growing up without a father even if we weren’t the best ones. He walked away from the bar, and I walked away from the Club. They made him President of the Chapter shortly after but never held it against the boys for still coming around the bar out of loyalty to me. Hell, poor Meat was stuck in the middle, but he loved you something fierce. He always has.”
“What are we gonna do?”
“Nothing. I’ll speak with Duke. Stay away from him, Shanna. I don’t want him upsetting you. This is my business—not yours. The shit that went down between his father and me has nothing to do with you. Christ, we were so tight until that bitch came between us.” He shakes his head.
“Who, Mom?”
“No. It was Duke’s aunt, Dee Dee. That saucy bitch was doing us both. I won’t lie she was a hot little piece, and we were both in
love with her. She played us both... getting off on the power trip of making us fight over her like dogs.”
“What happened?”
“She overdosed.”
“It was a fucking mess. We both loved her and blamed each other when she died. The truth was we were both cut up with heartbreak.”
“I’m so sorry, Pops.”
“She was it for me. I’m sorry Shanna, your mother was just too stuck-up. Layla loved my rough hands on her body but then would pick fights saying that I wasn’t cultured enough for her. Truthfully, she loved a good fuck but hated I was the one to give it to her.” He pauses catching his breath, and I look down into my mug feeling more like my mother than ever before.
I had the same thoughts about Duke last night.
I’m not at all embarrassed by Pops’ frankness. Growing up as the daughter of the President of the MC—I saw plenty of shit.
Like orgies on Christmas Eve, strippers at birthday parties, Pops' friends doing lines of coke at the bar. I was nine the first time I walked in on Pops having sex with some chick. I might’ve learned what sex was at a young age but have been forbidden from partaking it in myself.
Pops treats me like his most prized possession and I guess I am.
I’ll never forget homecoming my senior year. No one even asked me to the dance since they were all terrified of Pops. If that wasn’t bad enough, Meat and a few other crew members somehow got on the chaperone list. The three massive men stood against the wall all night decked out in their leather cuts and scowling at any boy who came within five feet of me.
We had a huge fight about how overprotective he was of me, and my senior year the leash loosened... not by much but enough for me to get my first kiss and a trip to third base.
Pops takes a sip of his coffee, continuing, “Your mother met some guy in Hollywood who promised her he knew a producer and would get her on a soap opera or some shit. Of course, it was a lie. She tried to come crawling back, but I was done. I was completely fed-up with her bullshit. I cut her off, and she latched onto somebody else. She always was a shit mother. I’m sorry. I know I raised you rough, but I did the best I could."
"I had a great childhood.” I lie. “Please don't think otherwise. I love living out here. But it's all I've known. I want to experience new things. I crave adventure. Is that so bad?"
He sighs, sitting back taking a deep breath. "I can't protect you out there."
"Protect me from what?"
"The world baby girl, the world."
I sigh, "I'm street-smart Pops. I don't take any shit from drunks at the bar. I can handle myself."
"You have Meat and Federico there."
“I can handle myself.”
He sighs again before raising his mug to his lips. “Maybe I’ve kept my baby bird in the cage for too long. I need to set you free, and yet I’m terrified to let you go.”
“Eat up. I’m not going anywhere for now. I have to finish my classes at Bradbury and run the bar.”
I don’t want him anymore upset than he already is. I can tell the memories of bad blood coupled with the news of his old friend’s death were enough of a blow this morning. I don’t want to add my hunger for adventure to his burdens today. My coffee has gotten cold; pushing my chair back I pop it in the microwave. My eyes once again drawn to the brilliant colors of fall outside our window, but as thoughts of Duke fill my head—I go blind, only seeing him.
I’m completely lost.
His lips feel like fire, but his words leave me ice-cold.
He’s my enemy.
His touch makes me weak.
He’s fire.
He’s ice.
But I’m old enough to know both burn.
As I open the passenger door to help Pops get out, a light breeze blows the hair back from my face.
He waves me off with his cane struggling to carry his oxygen tank.
“I’ve got it.” Ignoring his attempts to shoo me back, I help him exit my beat-up Honda. The mid-morning sun does little to quell the bite of fall in Oregon. The leaves crunch under our feet as we follow Meat’s directions to Duke’s father’s grave. I put an arm around Pops’ waist. His pride won’t allow him to lean on me and I try not to notice how deep his cane sinks into the ground with every step he takes.
The burden of saying goodbye to his old friend is weighing on him. I can’t even imagine the life he lived when I was a baby. Pops was wild and reckless—feared for miles, and now he’s as slow and cumbersome as they come, everyday living has become hard.
His gait slows as we approach fresh dirt and his heavy breathing becomes even more labored.
“Ah, fuck.” He stops short and swipes a hand over his face.
“You—old bastard,” he mutters under his breath. “You had to go out without saying goodbye, huh.”
Pops sighs and I swear I see the glistening of tears in his eyes. Deciding to give him a minute alone to grieve, I take a few steps back before turning around running straight into a brick wall.
Duke.
The smell of him surrounds me; pine soap and leather.
My hands press gently on his chest and his hand rests lightly on my waist.
“Shanna.”
“Duke.”
His dark eyes bore into mine. But I can’t read his today. I can’t see anything but know my eyes tell him more than I’ll ever admit.
I want you.
I dislike you.
I’m on fire.
He leans down whispering against my hair, “Morning looks good on you, but night looked even better.”
His soft beard brushes against my cheek.
I want to forget the world and pull his face down to mine. I wonder if he’d taste like coffee and mint. His worn jeans hug his muscular thighs. His grey Henley shows every hard cut of the muscle in his chest, pecs, and abs.
He holds his black leather jacket over one shoulder, and as my eyes move back to his, he smirks like he knows my hands are just itching touch him everywhere my eyes just landed.
“Duke? Is that you boy? It’s been a long time.”
“Who are you calling ‘boy’ old man?”
He steps away from me reluctantly, shaking his head as if he is also caught in the web spinning between us. Pops ambles over, leaning heavily on his cane.
“Hello, Colin.” Duke greets my father with the respect that a former Chapter President deserves.
“Give us a minute, Shanna. Duke and I have some business to discuss.”
“Sure.”
I want to stay, but I can tell by the look in Pops’ eyes, not to test him. Besides, Pops needs his space to say whatever peace he needs, to his friend’s son.
I wrap my duster dress tighter around me walking back towards the car. I hope Duke doesn’t say anything to piss off Pops. He doesn’t need any more stress today.
I mentally plan my day: Do a load of laundry, wash the dishes soaking in the sink, study for my test next week, and stop fantasizing about Duke’s dick thrusting in me, breaching the barrier I still have.
A strong breeze blows through knocking more leaves off the trees. They flutter to the ground all around me.
“Here.”
Duke brushes by me, plucks a red maple leaf from my hair and hands it to me.
“I’ll see you later.” He says a second before his tongue sweeps inside my surprised mouth. He angles his head closer, cupping my face in his large hands. His hips shift; I moan feeling his monster erection nudging my belly.
“Stay the hell away from her!” Pops calls out angrily.
I whirl around, he’s huffing and puffing; walking as fast as a man can with only one good leg and lung.
“What the fuck did you say to him, Duke?”
“Nothing,” he calls out walking backward, “well besides that I intend to take you as my old lady first and the bar second.” He winks giving me his back.
“Never! It’ll never happen!” I roar, angry at how easily he baits me. He couldn’t know how pissed saying that would
make me, could he? Just the term “old lady” gets me worked up. It’s the club’s way of recognizing marriage but sometimes you get hitched in the clubhouse by the Prez instead of by a priest in a church. It’s friggin’ archaic and ridiculous and to me—demeaning. You’re basically owned by your man.
“I’ll see you later sweetheart,” he calls out laughing at me standing with my fists clenched and my face as hot as the Fourth of July.
The rumble of his bike’s engine drowns me out as I curse him to hell and back at the top of my lungs.
I rush back to Pops, putting an arm around his waist. “Pops?”
He stops, shaking his head. “Duke knows. He knows about the bad blood between his father and I. Apparently that old bastard kept a journal and Duke found it while going through his estate.”
“So? Why should he care? Meat said Duke didn’t give a shit about his father. He hasn’t been back here for almost twenty years.”
“And he carries the guilt of that. My guess he is trying to make up for it in his own fucked up way. I wasn’t completely truthful with you earlier.”
“What?”
“There was more to the story… ” he wheezes out.
I rub his back lightly and put my hand out to stop him from walking any further. “Just take a minute. We’re in no rush.
“I stole money from the club baby girl. I fucked my brothers over. I’m not proud of it. I thought if I dressed her up in diamonds—she’d stay and be a mother to ya’. Ah, fuck. I was a goddamn fool. I thought I could buy her into staying with us for your sake. But she fuckin’ took all the money and jewels and left for the Hollywood Hills regardless. I was screwin’ around on her. I’m not proud of it but I was the Prez and she wasn’t makin’ me feel like a man. Hell, women were waiting to make me feel like a god. He read it all in John’s journal. The man left a fuckin’ memoir for anyone to find. He’s trying to fuck me over from the grave.” Pops stops, he can barely breathe. But I can tell he needed to get it all out.
I suck in my breath at his words.
What Pops did could earn him a bullet to the back of the head and a burial deep in the woods. If he’s lucky.
No one fucks with the club and lives—not even an original member.