Easton sighed, putting the photos aside. Mia had grown up, and Cliff had known about his daughter, apparently. He looked at the address on the envelopes—a PO box in town. Cliff had gone out of his way to keep this hidden. There were about a dozen letters, and he picked one at random.
These probably weren’t his business. Cliff hadn’t meant them to be anyone’s business. Still, Easton would take a look and see what was here. If it was damning enough, he would burn the lot and let Cliff keep some posthumous privacy. But there was the chance that this might give Nora and her mother a few answers.
The first letter he opened was dated May, 1998.
Dear Cliff,
Mia is doing well. She’s getting As and Bs in school, and the money you sent will go for her summer camp. Her best friend is going and she’s been pleading to be allowed to go for months now, so your money couldn’t have arrived at a better time. She still wants to play the violin, but I can’t afford the lessons, or the instrument. I’ve looked into it, but it’s just too much. Maybe you could consider helping her with that if her interest doesn’t change.
Thank you for your support. You should know that she’s been asking more and more questions about why she doesn’t have a dad. The other kids have dads, even if they aren’t in their lives. It would mean a lot to her to know your name, at least. She wouldn’t have to contact you. I know you have your family and we wouldn’t interfere. Please reconsider letting me tell her.
Angela.
The next letter was dated December, 2008.
Dear Cliff,
Thank you for the recent money. Mia is working two jobs to pay for her college tuition, and she’s exhausted. She’s switched majors, and now she’s taking Education. She wants to teach elementary school. The money you sent will help to buy books next semester, and she’s very grateful. She asked me to thank you.
I have some bad news. I’ve had back pain for a few months, and finally went to a doctor about it. It’s cancer—stage 3. It’s in my spine—quite treatable—and in my liver. There’s hope, and I’ll fight it, but my insurance will only go so far. I have no intention of dying yet—our daughter still needs me. I haven’t told Mia yet, though. She needs to focus on her studies.
If the worst should happen, don’t forget about your daughter.
Angela.
It looked like Angela had told Mia about her father at some point. Easton knew from Nora that Angela had passed away, and he could only assume it was from the cancer.
He opened another envelope, and this one was different than the others—written in a child’s hand. His breath caught in his throat as he scanned the printed words:
Dear Dad,
I only call you Dad because I don’t know your name, because if I knew your name, I’d call you that. But Mom—Mom was underlined three times—says she’ll mail this to you, and I can say anything I want to you. So here goes.
I hate you. I think you’re awful. You don’t even know me, and you don’t want me. I’m a nice person. My friends say that I’m too good for a deadbeat dad like you. I don’t care that you send money, because I don’t want any of it. You can keep it and spend it on whatever stupid stuff you buy yourself.
My mom loves me and we do just fine on our own. We don’t need you, and we don’t need your money. So if you don’t want to know me, and I’m a super-good person, you know, then you can get lost.
But if you wanted to know me, you’d find out that I’m pretty smart, and I’m nice to people, and I love animals, and my favorite color isn’t purple like every girl in my class, it’s green. And I’m going to be a marine biologist when I grow up. That’s what you’d find out, and you’d probably like me, too. But you don’t get to find out how nice I am, because even if you wanted to meet me, I’d say, “Sorry, I’m too busy being super-nice and super-fun.”
Without any love at all,
Mia Hampton.
There was a PS tagged at the end in Angela’s handwriting: I’m sorry about Mia. She’s really angry right now, but I promised I’d send this letter no matter what. We do need the money. One day she’ll understand how much you provided. I promise you that. —A
The poor kid. Her loneliness, her anger, her desperation to be wanted by her dad—it all just shone through that letter, and Easton couldn’t help but wonder how Cliff had dealt with all of that. Obviously, he had never told his wife and daughter about the other little girl out there who hated him because she wanted to be loved so badly.
Had Cliff ever written his daughter back? Or had that letter gone unanswered? Easton wished he knew, but everyone concerned had passed away.
Nothing else was in the box, and the one underneath it held only an incomplete set of old encyclopedias.
This child hadn’t been a secret from Cliff, obviously, but it also didn’t look like the affair was long-lived. Angela had never seemed to be pleading for anything, and Easton wondered if that would be a relief to Nora on some level. Maybe it was a one-time mistake and not some lifetime of philandering.
This was an odd relief to Easton, he had to admit. He’d always looked up to Cliff, and his fall from grace had hit Easton, too. He knew what it was like to have a disappointing father. He’d grown up with a father who embarrassed him constantly and hadn’t been able to provide for him. But Cliff had been different—principled, successful, solid. Cliff had been the kind of man Easton would have wanted in a father, and he’d become a sort of father figure to him over the years. So finding out that Cliff had another child out there—that had hurt his sense of decency, even if Easton didn’t have a right to feel it.
“You weren’t my dad,” he muttered.
But even with this mess, Nora was lucky. She still had more than she thought she did because while her father had been flawed, Cliff had at least been there for her. He’d raised her, provided for her, taught her what he could. Easton probably had more in common with Mia—standing on the outside of something they’d never have. So while Cliff’s fall from grace was disappointing, it wasn’t a betrayal to Easton. At least it wasn’t supposed to be.
It hung heavy around his neck, but mostly he felt sorry for Cliff... In life, the man had been respected, admired, trusted. If Cliff had lived to see this, he’d have been crushed.
Maybe it was too late to offer, but this was one thing Easton could give his late boss: absolution, from him, at least. Because Cliff owed him nothing.
Chapter Six
Nora arrived at The Vanilla Bean coffee shop and parked in the angled parking out front. She could feel the pressure leaking out of her. She needed a break, and she still wasn’t sure if that made her a bad mother. All she knew was that she felt lighter already for having driven by herself without three infants in the back of her truck.
“Kaitlyn!” Nora wrapped her arms around her friend and gave her a squeeze. “It’s so good to see you!”
The Vanilla Bean hadn’t changed a bit over the years. It still sported the same framed photos from decades past—Main Street before the murals had been painted, the old grain elevator in use, a grinning bull rider having won a ribbon in the 1957 county fair. There was also a bookshelf with a sign above that read “Lending Library—take a book, leave a book.” Nora had read her first romance novel from that shelf—a scandalous secret that she hid from her parents and read out by the barn. This place held the town’s history as well as their own, and no matter how long she stayed away, there was a part of her that counted on places like the Vanilla Bean to stay exactly the same.
Kaitlyn had put on a little weight since Nora had seen her last, but it suited her—adding some roundness to her figure. And she wore her hair in a bob now. Kaitlyn’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. She motioned toward the table by the window where two coffees were already waiting. “I hope you aren’t dieting, because I got you a mochaccino—for old time’s sake.”
They felt oh so grown up when they’d come here as teens. The last time they’d been here was just before Kaitlyn’s Christmas wedding a couple of years earlier. Nora slid into the seat and pried the lid off the cup. This felt good to be out, away from it all for a little while. She watched as two pickup trucks going in opposite directions down the street stopped so that the drivers could talk through open windows.
“It’s perfect,” Nora said. “So how are you?”
“I’m good.” She sipped her drink and licked her lips. “I’m not pregnant—that’s what everyone asks. I swear, you gain a pound and everyone wants to be the first one to call it.”
“They don’t.” Nora grimaced.
“They do.” Kaitlyn nodded. “But it’s okay. I survive it. Everyone is doing it to Nina, too, so I feel better.”
“How is Nina?” Nora asked. Kaitlyn’s sister had a bit of a scandalous past, having cheated on her fiancée who was fighting in Afghanistan and marrying his best friend while he was away.
“Their son is two now—smart as a whip, that kid. He already knows his alphabet. She’s exhausted, but happy...but exhausted. So Brody and I wanted some time alone before we threw ourselves into that.”
“I don’t blame you,” Nora agreed. Kaitlyn’s husband came back to Hope when he was wounded in the war, and he was still recovering emotionally. “I’m exhausted, too, and it’s only been a few days with the babies. It’s harder than I thought.”
“So what’s going on?” Kaitlyn asked. “I heard a few rumors, but...”
Nora gave as brief an explanation as possible, and as the words came out, she felt relief. She’d been taking this one step at a time from discovering her half sister’s existence to becoming the mother of three newborns overnight, and Kaitlyn’s expression of sympathy and disbelief was comforting. Her life had turned upside down in a matter of weeks, and some sympathy helped.
“How are you and your mom dealing with all this?” Kaitlyn asked.
“We’re—” Nora paused. Were they even dealing with it? They were stumbling through it, not exactly handling anything besides putting one foot in front of the other. “We’re in shock still, I think,” she concluded. “Thank God Mackenzie thought of us and sent a triplet stroller. I didn’t even know where to start.”
“Mackenzie is great,” Kaitlyn agreed.
“The funny thing is, I keep seeing married couples having babies everywhere I go,” Nora confessed. “Mack and Chet have three now, right? And here I am with three babies and no husband...or boyfriend. And the explanation is just so freaking complicated.”
“Look, you’ll feel like you have to explain yourself no matter what. I’m married, and everyone is anxious for me to have a baby. If you’re not married, everyone is anxious to find you someone. There’s no point in worrying about public opinion, because you’ll always be lacking in something. Those babies are lucky to have you.”
“Are they?” Nora sighed. “The truth is, I can’t afford them. Not alone. That’s why I came home. I was hoping that I could sort something out with my mom so we could take care of them together. I could quit my job in the city and come back to Hope and find something part time in bookkeeping and put the rest of my time into the girls. But that’s not really an option.”
“And there’s no help?” Kaitlyn asked.
“I’m a bookkeeper, Kate.” Nora shook her head. “I work hard. I have a one-bedroom apartment in Billings. I can’t afford day care, a bigger place in a decent part of town, clothes, formula, diapers... It’s overwhelming. And if I can’t sort something out—”
She didn’t want to finish the thought out loud, because she hadn’t actually admitted it to herself until now. She’d have to give the babies up to another family that could give them the life she couldn’t provide herself.
The thought caught her heart in a stranglehold, and for a moment, she felt like she couldn’t inhale. Give them up. That was the obvious solution that she’d been avoiding looking at all this time. She’d been hoping that something would present itself—some solution that would make it all come together.
“Would you give them up?” Kaitlyn asked quietly.
Nora shook her head. “I really don’t want to, but I have to wonder what’s best for them. My mom can’t be a grandmother to them...they remind her of what my dad did to her. How do you explain that to your kids—this is my mother, but don’t call her Grandma. It’s not right. The girls would be the ones to suffer.”
“I can understand that, though,” Kaitlyn said. “If I found out that Brody had cheated on me—even that many years ago—and I was supposed to just accept his child by another woman, or his grandchild... That’s a lot to ask.”
“I know.” It all felt so impossible. “I don’t know what to do. Eventually, I’ll have to figure something out.”
“Maybe give it time?” Kaitlyn suggested.
Did time make it better or worse? That depended on whether her mom changed her mind about this. If she didn’t, then Nora would have taken even more time to fall in love with the babies before she had to let them go.
“I’m not sure,” she confessed. “But that’s okay. I was hoping to hear all the news today, not wallow in my own self-pity. How are Dakota and Andy?”
Dakota had married Andy Granger just before Kaitlyn and Brody got married. Andy sold his half of the ranch he and his brother inherited and then left town. Everyone hated him at that point, because he’d sold out to some big city yahoos. But then he came back to help run a cattle drive for his brother, and Dakota had been hired onto the team. She’d hated him, but something happened on that drive that changed it all, because when they got back, they got engaged.
Tears misted Kaitlyn’s eyes, and Nora felt a flash of alarm. What had she said? She reached out and took her hand. Kaitlyn swallowed a couple of times and blinked back tears. Something was wrong. Here she’d been so focused on her own life that she’d completely missed that something was deeply wrong in her friend’s.
“What’s going on, Kate?” Nora asked, leaning forward.
“Dakota’s pregnant. Andy is over the moon—you’ve never seen a happier guy. He keeps trying to do things for her, and Dakota is all hormonal and wants to kill him.” Kaitlyn forced a smile, although it didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s cute. If he survives this pregnancy, they’ll make great parents.”
“And yet you’re crying,” Nora said. Those hadn’t been sympathetically happy tears.
Kaitlyn was silent for a moment, then she licked her lips. “I can’t seem to get pregnant. Everyone else around me is either pregnant or a new mom... You aren’t the only one noticing it. We’ve been trying since the honeymoon. I told you that we’re just taking some time to be a couple, but that’s not even true.”
“Oh, Kate...”
“I was never the baby fever type. I just assumed that since we were...doing all the things it takes to make a baby...that it would just happen. Like with Nina. Like with Dakota. Like with every woman I seem to come across! This is supposed to be natural.”
“It’ll happen...” Nora said, but she knew she couldn’t promise that any more than Kaitlyn could assure her that she’d find the man of her dreams. Sometimes life didn’t pan out the way you wanted it to. Sometimes deeply devoted couples remained childless. Sometimes good women didn’t find their guy.
“It’ll happen when it happens,” Kaitlyn agreed. “We’re doing all the right things—on a daily basis.” A smile flickered across her face. “I shouldn’t complain, should I?”
Nora laughed softly. Considering that Kaitlyn had a gorgeous husband to “do all the right things” with on a daily basis... She felt some heat in her cheeks. “They say the trying is the fun part, don’t they?”
“They do say that.” Kaitlyn smiled and wiped her eyes. “Sorry, I honestly didn’t want to talk about this. I was supposed to be your su
pportive friend. So where are you staying? With your mom?”
“No, in the old farmhouse,” Nora said. “With Easton, actually.”
Kaitlyn’s eyebrows rose, and she paused in the wiping of her eyes. “With Easton? How is that?”
“You know my father left him the homestead in his will, right?”
“I’d heard.” Kaitlyn winced. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Well, he has a guest bedroom so I’m using that with the babies. My mom can’t deal with three newborns right now, and it’s all so complicated, so this is a way to give her some breathing space. There isn’t a huge amount of room in the homestead, but we’re squeezing in.”
“I’m not asking about sleeping arrangements,” Kaitlyn replied with a quirky smile. “Unless I should be?”
“No!” Nora leaned back in her chair. “I haven’t changed that much.”
“But how is it with Easton?” Kaitlyn pressed. “I remember how crazy he was about you.”
That was an exaggeration. Kaitlyn had always thought that Easton was in love with her, but Nora never believed it. They were friends, that was all. They talked about her boyfriends and sometimes went riding together. Easton had a bit of a crush for a while, but they’d moved past that.
“It wasn’t as exciting as you think,” Nora replied.
“You’re wrong there.” Her friend finished wiping her eyes. “What he felt for you was significantly more than friendship.”
Had Easton really felt more for Nora? She’d thought that Easton got a lot from their friendship...like friendship. But maybe she’d been the naive one.
“I didn’t think it was anything more than me hitting puberty first,” she admitted.
“Do you remember that one birthday—I think you turned fifteen—when the girls snubbed you, and I was the only one to show up at your party?” Kaitlyn asked. “I think Easton had just started working at your place, and he brought you those wildflowers from the far pasture.”
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