Wish List (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 2)

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Wish List (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 2) Page 21

by Helen Harper


  ‘Maybe you just think he was looking at you,’ Delilah interjected.

  ‘I didn’t imagine it,’ I said.

  Alicia gave Jasper a pointed glance. ‘Someone here is trying too hard. You know I’m not a troll, right, Saffron?’

  ‘It was Angela who first…’ I sighed and gave up. There was no reason to continue arguing. ‘Let’s mop up this mess and get out of here.’

  There was another muffled thump. We all froze. Jasper nodded at Rupert and Alicia. ‘Find out what that was,’ he instructed. ‘If there are other humans in here, make sure they stay upstairs.’

  I was surprised neither of them snapped their heels together and saluted. They spun round to head out and follow his orders. It was nice to be the Devil’s Advocate – and not a fuck-up like me.

  Billy, who up to now had been surprisingly quiet, started moving round the room like a caged animal. He was shaking his head. ‘Something’s not right here,’ he murmured. He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘It feels … off.’

  Delilah picked up an open envelope from a table. ‘Aaron Jones,’ she read aloud. She slid out the piece of paper from inside it. ‘He’s behind on his electricity bill.’

  The man in question groaned again; his eyes remained closed but he’d clearly heard her. ‘Have you seen how much they’ve charged?’ he whispered. ‘I’ve not paid it because it’s extortionate. I might live in this big old house but that doesn’t mean I’m rich. It’s my aunt who owns the damned place and she’s in hospital. If you want to steal anything, go ahead – but I don’t think you’ll find much.’

  Poor guy. ‘We’re not here to steal anything,’ I told him. ‘We thought you were someone else.’ I looked at Delilah. ‘Can you fix him up? We should get out of here as quickly as possible and let the memory magic do its thing. We’ve bothered Aaron enough.’

  ‘Sure.’ Delilah put down the envelope and moved over to him. ‘Hey, Aaron,’ she cooed. ‘Can you open your eyes for me? I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to check you over.’

  Jasper walked across and joined Billy, who’d stopped moving and was staring blankly at the wall opposite. I watched them both, waiting for some indication of what Billy’s sixth sense was telling him.

  ‘I know you,’ I heard Aaron mumble. ‘You work across the street.’ I slowly turned back towards him. He was gazing at Delilah with wide, fearful eyes. ‘What is it that you lot do over there?’ he asked. ‘Are you some sort of crime organisation? Is that what this is all about?’

  Jasper turned his head and fixed his hard green-eyed gaze on Aaron. ‘Even if you do have a slight magic taint from an ancestor, you couldn’t bypass the spells surrounding that building to see who was in there.’ He strode over and hauled him to his feet. ‘What have you been doing? Who are you really?’

  Aaron began to babble. ‘No one! I’m no one!’

  ‘Delilah,’ I said, a trickle of wary suspicion running down my spine, ‘how much was that electricity bill for?’

  ‘Over a grand,’ she said. ‘Either he’s got a marijuana factory hidden in his attic or he’s definitely been over-charged.’

  I glanced at Billy. He wasn’t paying any of us any attention; instead, he’d placed both his palms flat against the wall and was continuing to frown. ‘There was something there,’ he said. ‘Now it’s gone.’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t get it.’

  ‘What’s next door, Aaron?’ I questioned.

  Everyone looked at me.

  ‘Some sort of office,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what they do but they make a lot of noise. And they never seem to go home. I went round last week to ask them to try and be a bit more quiet.’

  I sucked in a breath. ‘And?’

  Aaron dropped his head. ‘They weren’t very nice. They didn’t break into my house and threaten me though,’ he added sourly.

  ‘Saffron,’ Jasper asked quietly, ‘what is it?’

  ‘I’ve been so stupid,’ I whispered.

  ‘What?’ he pressed. He released Aaron and walked over to me. ‘What is it?’

  ‘The reason we suspected Aaron,’ I said heavily, ‘was because Angela noticed him when she’d been spying on a good-looking bloke who worked next door. An uncommonly good-looking bloke. She tried to find out what he did for a living, but couldn’t find the company when she did a search. Clearly, whoever they are, they’re trying to stay under the radar.’ I nodded at Aaron’s unpaid bill. ‘Maybe even to the point where they’re piggy-backing off the electricity from this building to avoid detection.’

  ‘Who would go to such lengths to stay anonymous?’ Delilah asked nervously.

  None of us spoke. We already knew the answer.

  ‘Billy?’ I asked.

  His face was grim. ‘There’s definitely magic seeping in through the walls. It would explain why that human has traces of it and why he could see the Office of Faery Godmothers despite the guard spells.’

  Alicia and Rupert reappeared in the doorway. ‘There haven’t been any more strange noises,’ Rupert said cheerfully.

  ‘And there are no signs of any trolls anywhere,’ Alicia added. ‘There’s no sign of anything, in fact. This place is clear.’

  I pointed at the wall. ‘That’s because they’re not holed up here. They’re next door.’

  Aaron laughed. I failed to see what was funny about the situation. He noted my expression and explained. ‘If you’re talking about my neighbours, they’re not there any more. Those noises you heard were them leaving.’ I stared at him and he shrugged. ‘I told you – they’re noisy bastards. It’s not hard to work out what they’re doing. I could tell they were packing up and getting to ready go.’

  Billy nodded. ‘That fits with what I can feel.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Delilah said, ‘they knew we were getting close to them so they decided it was time to run away.’ She bared her teeth. ‘Like the sneaky bastards they really are.’

  Rupert smiled. ‘They’re scared of us, as they should be. Why else have they been hiding from us for so long?’

  My eyes met Jasper’s. ‘They’ve not been hiding because they’re scared. They’ve been hiding because they’re biding their time and planning their next move. They got our building evacuated as a test – they wanted it empty for a reason. Until the other day everyone was working long hours because of the audit and our offices were hardly never empty. If the trolls were watching, they’d have known that.’

  Jasper picked up my thread. ‘But after I told everyone to stop working 24/7, there was no need to set off the fire alarm to empty the building. All the faery godmothers have been leaving at a normal time.’

  ‘The trolls will have worked that out. The only reason they’d choose to hide right across the street from us, before suddenly leaving on masse would be…’

  I swallowed.

  And then both Jasper and I sprinted for the door.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The front door to the Office of Faery Godmothers was closed but that didn’t mean anything. When Jasper and I burst through it, my worst suspicions were confirmed. Instead of the usual scent of honeysuckle, there was something far more bitter lingering in the air. I knew it wasn’t just from Pumpkin’s little urination episode, either. Trolls were in the building – and whatever they were up to, they were up to no good.

  ‘We have to take the stairs,’ Jasper warned. ‘If we use the lift, they’ll know we’re coming.’

  I grimaced. We’d lose valuable time that way and Vincent and Rose were upstairs without anyone to protect them. ‘We’ll have to run,’ I said.

  Jasper nodded, already on the move again. ‘Stay behind me.’

  As if. Jasper went for the stairs – and I went for the lift anyway. I didn’t care if the damned trolls knew I was coming, I wouldn’t leave Rose and Vincent to their mercy for a moment longer than I had to. They were my responsibility. Jasper and the others would have the element of surprise on their side; I’d provide the distraction before they got there.

  Before I coul
d think too much about it, I barrelled into lift and pressed the button to close the doors. I heard Jasper shout but he was too late. The lift was already making its smooth journey upwards.

  Initially I pushed myself back against the left-hand wall, flattening my body in a vain bid to become invisible. But even if casting invisibility spells on myself had been one of my talents, it wouldn’t fool the trolls. Hiding might, though. Unfortunately there was nowhere to hide in a lift and pretending that I could camouflage myself against the shiny walls was a fool’s errand.

  I gave up trying and drew out my wand, adopting a wide-legged attack stance. I would be ready for whatever – and whoever – was waiting. The lift jolted as we arrived at the main office floor. I held my breath and tensed as the doors slid open.

  It was surprisingly anti-climactic. No troll hordes attacked. There were no war cries or bolts of magic. The office was as silent as anyone would expect it to be at this time of night.

  I quickly scanned the room and straightened my shoulders. Priorities. I had to get Vincent and Rose out of there.

  Keeping my body low, I tiptoed to the meeting room. The door was firmly closed, which I took to be a good sign. Perhaps my human mates were dozing away in a corner and had no idea that the building had been infiltrated by troll terrorists. I swallowed hard and prayed that was the case, then I pushed at the handle and stepped inside.

  I saw something flashing towards me out of my peripheral vision. Although I tried to step out of the way, as well as create a magical shield to protect myself, I simply didn’t have time before the legs of one of the utilitarian metal chairs smacked into the side of my head. I collapsed like a sack of potatoes, tiny lights dancing in front of my eyes.

  ‘Shit! Saffron!’ Vincent was by my side in an instant. ‘I thought you were one of them! Do you know there are people in this office? Do you know why they’re here? Because we saw them, and I can promise you that they’re sly wankers who have nothing to do with faery godmothers. One of them smashed up several of those computers out there! They broke open some drawers and … and…’

  ‘Calm down,’ I muttered.

  ‘You’re not dead! Thank goodness!’

  I rubbed the side of my head. Fuck a puck but that hurt. ‘If you thought I was dead,’ I whispered, ‘why did you keep talking?’

  He shrugged. ‘A nervous twitch. I can’t help myself.’ He reached down and gave me a hand to help me to my feet. ‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t know it was you.’

  I winced before pointing my wand towards myself and whisking it briskly a few times. My head still throbbed slightly but it wasn’t too bad. Every few hours I was having to magic away some injury or other. At this rate, I’d soon be a healing expert.

  I shook myself and looked round, my stomach dropping when I saw that Vincent was alone. ‘Where’s Rose?’

  Vincent’s face fell. ‘I couldn’t stop her,’ he whispered.

  Dread tingled through my veins. Oh no. Rather than wait to hear what foolhardy move Rose had decided to make, I whirled round. I tossed a quick order to Vincent to get the hell out of the building while he had the chance.

  If I were a troll hellbent on destroying the faery godmothers once and for all, where would I go? HR? No. They didn’t require any help on the destruction front. The Director’s office? Perhaps – but despite her job title, she was just one person.

  Chilled, I turned round and gazed at the staircase leading up to the Adventus room. It was the source of all incoming wishes and the depository for all past wishes. It was no contest really.

  Moving quickly, but staying light on my feet, and with my heartbeat roaring in my ears, I ascended the stairs. The door to the Adventus room was normally closed and you had to be keyed into its specific magic to open it. The trolls hadn’t cared about that. As far as I could tell, they’d developed their own metaphorical magical battering ram and essentially blown a massive hole in the wall to gain entry. It was still smoking.

  I swallowed hard and tiptoed forward until I was hovering at its edge. There were several of them, although they were surprisingly quiet as they went about their business. They were about halfway down the room, yanking open drawers and rummaging through old wish cards. Every few seconds there was a clatter as a drawer was discarded and flung to the side. It didn’t take a genius to work out that the trolls were searching for something specific.

  I pulled back and considered. They must be looking for evidence of what the faery godmothers had done to them in the past – details of the wish gone wrong, the wish that had almost caused the total annihilation of the troll race.

  Given that the numbers were most definitely not in my favour, I was tempted to leave them to it. There was no sign of Rose. Maybe she hadn’t gone to confront them but had done the smart thing and run for the hills. Until Jasper and the other faeries arrived via the stairs as back-up, I wasn’t sure what I could do.

  I started to retreat. I’d wait over by the emergency exit so I could tell Jasper what I’d already learned. He’d be pissed off that I’d ignored his command to stay behind him and that I’d used the lift, but at least I had some information to share with him as a result.

  That would have been the sensible course of action. Unfortunately, as I stepped backwards I collided with something warm and hard. Long fingers wrapped around my throat, squeezing just tightly enough to be painful. ‘Hello, faery,’ cooed a deep male voice in my ear.

  Fuck a puck.

  I flicked my wrist, instinct guiding my hand and telling me to use my wand to conjure up enough magic to get the bastard off me. He was already one step ahead of me, however. He muttered something and suddenly the wand I was gripping grew red hot. I dropped it with a sharp cry. I had no choice but to let it clatter to the marble floor. The troll behind me laughed softly.

  ‘You’re not going to do very much now, are you? Your over-reliance on crude tools will be your downfall.’

  Yeah, yeah. I gave up resisting and forced my muscles to relax. Until now, despite their other atrocities, none of the trolls had actually killed any faery godmothers. I had to hope that they were still following that route.

  ‘Hey boys!’ the troll shouted. ‘Look what I caught!’ He pushed me into the Adventus room. His buddies stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at me. There were even more of them than I’d realised. This was bad.

  From the back of the group, a troll stepped out and strode forward. He was dressed all in black like the best villains usually are. Something about the way he held himself and the manner of the others as they watched his approach told me that this was their leader. Whether he was their ultimate leader, or simply another underling like Bernard the suicide-bomber kidnapper, I couldn’t tell.

  As he drew closer and his features grew more distinct, I realised that this had to be the man Angela had been leering at. He had chiselled cheekbones and styled blond hair; quite frankly, he was the most handsome man I’d ever seen. No wonder he’d caught her eye. She’d been intelligent enough to work out that the trolls were close by – and stupid enough to think that it had to be the creepy-looking human who was one of them, rather than this sex god. At the very least, a troll leader should have an ugly scar across his tanned face or bad teeth. This bloke had neither.

  ‘Who else is with you?’ His voice was deceptively soft.

  Name, rank and serial number, that was all I’d give him. ‘I’m Saffron Sawyer. I’m a faery godmother.’

  He watched me with amusement. ‘Charmed to make your acquaintance, Saffron the faery godmother. I’m Ethan the troll.’ He drew closer. ‘Who else is with you?’

  The troll behind me squeezed my throat. I choked. ‘No one,’ I croaked. ‘I’m alone.’

  ‘You came back to the office in the middle of the night to get in some overtime?’

  ‘I’m very dedicated,’ I managed.

  One of the other trolls cleared his throat. ‘I know her,’ he said. ‘She was the one who attacked Bernard.’

  My eyes widen
ed. ‘I didn’t attack him! He blew himself up. That was all his own doing!’

  Ethan’s expression didn’t alter. ‘I was never Bernard’s biggest fan,’ he murmured. Oh good; maybe I’d get a commendation instead of being tortured. ‘But he was still one of us.’

  Fuck a puck.

  ‘Perhaps he shouldn’t have kidnapped a bunch of faery godmothers and cut off some of their body parts, then,’ I goaded. The longer Ethan and I chewed the fat, the more chance Jasper had of getting here.

  Unfortunately the troll wasn’t that gullible. He smiled gently at me as he gave his order to the other trolls. ‘Get back to the main office. Check that no one else is out there and then block the entrances. We’re not done here yet.’ He leaned in. ‘You can be our witness, Saffron Sawyer. You can watch as we bring a halt to all faery godmother activity for good. Bernard’s kidnappings were ill-conceived. My plan will have far stronger consequences.’

  ‘You can’t kill us all,’ I told him. ‘You won’t ever win.’

  Ethan chuckled. ‘I’m not in the business of killing. None of us are, even though Bernard came close. Our designs are far grander than mere murder.’ He smirked. ‘Our goal is to destroy this office once and for all.’ He licked his lips in genuine anticipation. ‘And there’s only one way we can do that.’

  I knew what he was planning; he didn’t have to spell it out for me but he did so anyway. He pointed up towards the gigantic cauldron that hung over our heads. ‘If you don’t receive any wishes,’ Ethan said softly, ‘then you can’t grant any wishes. This time next year, the Office of Faery Godmothers will be nothing but a distant memory. A cautionary tale for faeries everywhere about the dangers of meddling with matters beyond their own interests.’

  ‘This is stupid,’ I said desperately. ‘I’m sorry about what happened to you all, I truly am. But it was decades ago. We learnt our lesson. There are safeguards in place now. I understand you still want revenge but there are other ways to go about it. We could sit down – discuss reparations. I’m sure the faery godmothers will be more than happy to make an official apology and…’

 

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