by Helen Harper
‘We owe you a great debt of gratitude,’ the Director intoned formally.
I nodded. ‘I understand. Will it still be possible to get a reference based on my past work?’ Then I frowned. Wait a minute. I leaned forward. ‘What did you say?’
The Director tapped her fingers on her desk and looked me like I was extremely dim. ‘I said,’ she repeated, ‘we owe you a great debt of gratitude. Everyone in this office is well aware that, without your efforts, the trolls would have destroyed the Adventus room. They would have stolen both our past and our future.’
I licked my lips and squinted. ‘Uh-huh.’
‘I’ve reviewed the events,’ the Director continued. ‘While it is regrettable that your client was killed, it has been made clear that her death occurred as a result of her own actions and that she was already marked for the grave.’
Marked for the grave? I blinked in disbelief. That was a cold-hearted way of putting it. My gaze slid to Jasper. His expression was hooded; I had no more idea of what was going on in his head than what was going on inside this office.
‘I have put your name forward for a special commendation,’ the Director said. ‘I should imagine that you will be a shoo-in after your heroic actions.’
I scratched my head. ‘I don’t understand,’ I said. ‘I fucked everything up.’
‘Faery godmothers,’ the Director said sternly, ‘especially faery godmothers of your stature, do not swear.’
I met her eyes. ‘Yes, they fucking do.’ I exhaled, ignoring Jasper who’d dropped his tough-guy pose and was watching me with concern. ‘I brought two humans into this office when I knew that was against the rules. One of those humans lost her life because of my actions.’
‘It was hardly your fault that she chose to attack the trolls,’ the Director said. ‘And it’s obvious that you had no choice but to bring those humans here. Their lives were in danger. You made the logical choice. Besides, memory magic means that neither of them would have remembered anything about this place.’
I got to my feet again. I couldn’t help myself.
‘You can go now, Saffron,’ Jasper said, interjecting himself into the conversation. The Director’s eyes narrowed but she inclined her head in agreement.
I eyed them both. I wasn’t going anywhere. ‘Vincent Hamilton, the human male who was here, is the same human who isn’t affected by memory magic. I told him I was a faery godmother when I wasn’t officially working.’
The Director’s eyebrows shot up. ‘The drug dealer fellow?’
‘Yeah,’ I said.
‘Well,’ she coughed. ‘I’m sure we can speak to him and come to some arrangement that will benefit us all. He’s obviously proved himself trustworthy until now and kept your secret.’ She forced a smile. ‘You have a good instinct for people, Saffron.’ She pointed at the door. ‘You may go now. I’m sure your colleagues are keen to talk to you and see how you are.’
I stayed exactly where I was. ‘Rose Blairmont,’ I said, ‘my client, was no longer covered by memory magic either.’ I avoided looking directly at Jasper. ‘I gave her gingko biloba. I needed her to remember who I was so she’d trust me enough to open up. I genuinely believed I could never grant her an effective wish otherwise.’
A tiny vein throbbed in the Director’s forehead. ‘That is not behaviour we would normally condone,’ she said stiffly. ‘But you have explained your reasoning for your actions. With her unfortunate death, there is no danger that she will reveal our existence to anyone else.’
What the hell was going on? I was beginning to get the distinct feeling that I could tell the Director I was responsible for the assassination of Franz Ferdinand and she’d shrug it off. Rose died because of me. And if I’d been more on the ball, the trolls would never have got close to the damned Adventus room.
‘Jasper explicitly told me not to mess with memory magic,’ I said aloud. ‘But I still did it.’
He shifted his weight. ‘I didn’t have all the facts at the time.’
The Director waved her hand. ‘There you go, then. You did what you did in order to grant your client’s wish.’ She looked down. ‘Do you know, I think it will be fantastic to have an office pet. Especially one who’s so well behaved.’
Pumpkin, who had remained resolutely by my feet the entire time, suddenly appeared to sense that he was the topic of conversation. He picked himself up and wandered over to the Director’s desk. He swung his head towards me for a moment with a knowing glint in his brown eyes. He cocked his leg.
The Director let out a yelp then her face twisted and she turned it into a laugh. ‘Ha, ha. How cute. He’s marking his territory as all good dogs should do.’
I looked from her to Jasper to Pumpkin. Realisation finally dawned. ‘You don’t want anyone to know,’ I breathed. ‘You don’t want any other faeries to realise that this office almost became extinct under your watch. None of this is because I’ve done the right thing, it’s because you don’t want word getting out about what’s happened. This is about your reputation.’
Her expression grew icy cold. ‘Our reputation. You are still a part of this office, Saffron.’
Jasper stepped towards me. I looked at him. ‘You can’t condone this,’ I said. ‘You can’t condone another cover-up.’
He shook his head. ‘You’ve misunderstood what’s going on, Saffron.’
I moved away. ‘Actually, I don’t think I have.’
He drew in a breath. ‘Very few people realise how close the trolls came to destroying everything here. I doubt even the trolls themselves realise.’
‘I bet their leader Ethan does,’ I shot back.
‘Don’t be so sure. A statement has already gone out,’ he said. ‘We have outlined the fact that the trolls gained entrance and implied that it was a sting operation created by us and designed to uncover the trolls’ identities.’ He gave me a meaningful look. ‘After all, that was the remit of your task force in the first place. You achieved your goal.’
‘But it wasn’t a fucking sting operation.’
Jasper gave me a curt nod of acknowledgement. ‘No,’ he admitted. ‘It wasn’t. But the worst thing we can do is create panic about what the trolls are capable of. They want disruption. They want to create fear. That’s how they win.’
‘As far as they’re concerned, they will only have won when the faery godmothers have been destroyed.’
Jasper held my gaze. ‘Guilt and fear can be more destructive than bombs.’ He sighed. ‘Nothing about this is ideal.’
I shook my head in disgust. ‘It doesn’t take very much to blow down a house of cards,’ I said. ‘And if all you both care about is a reputation that’s built on a foundation of lies, that house will fall down even faster.’ My shoulders sank. ‘I’m done here.’ I turned to leave.
Jasper reached out and grabbed my arm. I gave him a pointed look and, at the exact same time, Pumpkin’s body vibrated with growls. Jasper dropped his hand. ‘Saffron,’ he said heavily, ‘what do you think happens if faeries believe the trolls are figures of strength and power who are so wholly intent on vengeance that they don’t care who or what gets in their way? You know that the trolls will be overcome sooner or later. Their guerrilla war won’t last. This isn’t just for our good, it’s for the trolls’ good too. Fear engenders hatred, and hatred engenders violence. If the faeries’ fears are stoked against the trolls, this situation will soon get out of control. And if this becomes all-out war, no one wins.’
His voice dropped. ‘Things might still end up that way. But while we have a chance to avert that situation, we have to take it. There’s no choice.’
The Director cleared her throat. I’d all but forgotten she was in the room. ‘In the interests of full disclosure,’ she said aloud, ‘my sole concern is the reputation of this office. I suspect that war with the trolls is inevitable but, as long as the faery godmothers come out smelling of roses and live to fight another day, I don’t care what happens to those bastards. Despise me all you like but I’m r
esponsible here. I will do whatever it takes to protect me and mine.’ She gazed at me. ‘And I include you in that, Saffron.’
For a long moment, I didn’t say anything. When I eventually spoke, my words were little more than a whisper. ‘It was an accident.’ I swallowed. I might want my villains to be figures of pure evil but life is more complicated than that. I sighed and explained further. ‘When Ethan shot Rose, he didn’t mean to do it. I knew from the look on his face that he was horrified by what he’d done. But that didn’t stop me from feeling absolute fury. If I could have killed him, I would have. He ended the life of another living being and I would have happily ended his in revenge.’
‘How do you feel about it now?’ Jasper asked quietly.
‘I don’t know.’ Sad, I supposed. And very, very guilty. I looked away. ‘What I’m saying is that part of me understands why the trolls are so hell-bent on vengeance. To have that sort of pain and anger inside you?’ I shook my head. ‘I’m not sure that they’ll ever end this campaign. They’ve tasted blood and they’re coming for us.’
‘Except,’ Jasper said, ‘they could have attacked this building when it was full. They waited until night time when they thought it was empty for a reason.’
I crouched down and scratched Pumpkin’s ears. A dog, I decided, provided excellent cover for all manner of situations. The delay while I patted him allowed me to gather my thoughts. Then Pumpkin nipped me and I hissed with pain. I stood up again.
Unzipping my bag, I took out the stained and dirty card. ‘Pumpkin retrieved this from the side of road. Ethan will be kicking himself for losing it.’
The Director drew in a breath. ‘Is that…?’
I nodded. ‘Yes.’ I stepped forward and very deliberately laid it in front of her. ‘This wish card contains all the details about what happened in Wales. It’s there in black and white about how the wish, granted accidentally by this office, caused the deaths of thousands of trolls.’
The Director gazed at if it were an explosive device. ‘It’s fortunate that this didn’t get into the wrong hands.’
Mmmm. I flicked a look at Jasper. ‘Sometimes,’ I said, ‘owning up to the harsh truth can improve a reputation in the long run. If you can’t admit to what really happened the other night, perhaps there is something you can do instead.’
A gleam lit his eyes. ‘Indeed,’ he murmured. ‘It will prove this Office understands it has made mistakes and is taking responsibility. It suggests an inner strength that goes beyond the norm. Doing the right things takes guts. It will send a strong message to the trolls that we’re prepared to make amends.’
I smiled faintly. The Director’s expression had turned thoughtful and I reckoned that, with Jasper’s nudging, she would indeed do the right thing. Even if it was several decades late.
I gestured to Pumpkin, gathered up my bag and we both walked out. After all, I’d already missed two days of work. I had other clients that would be missing me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
‘You know,’ Harry told me, ‘it’s all anyone is talking about. The fact that the Office of Faery Godmothers has come out and officially stated that they are responsible for what happened to the trolls all those years ago…’ He shook his head and whistled. ‘I didn’t think your lot would ever admit to that kind of mistake.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Do you think the formal apology will make a difference to the trolls?’
I sighed. ‘I have no idea. Ethan scoffed at the suggestion but that might be because he never believed it would happen. The trolls might still believe that it’s nothing more than words. Does saying sorry really make up for what could be construed as accidental genocide? We might have taken the first step to make amends but it’s taken us a long time to do even that. Only time will tell whether it’ll make things any better. Let’s not forget that they have their own amends to make as well.’
I pushed back my hair. ‘I remain naively optimistic. And whatever Ethan and the rest of the trolls think, they’re not telling us – they’ve gone to ground again. But we can’t let the next move be theirs. The Director has said that she’d like to meet with them to discuss proper reparations. The rest of us will have to wait and see.’
Harry clinked his glass against mine. ‘You should stop beating yourself up about what happened. You did the best that you could. Things could have been far, far worse.’
I gave a humourless laugh. ‘I’m not sure that’s much of a mantra to live by. Saffron Sawyer, she fucked up but not as badly as she could have.’
‘Saff…’
I touched his arm. ‘It’s alright. I’m dealing with it.’
‘And the dog?’ Harry asked. ‘What are you doing with him?’
I glanced down at Pumpkin, who was curled up by my feet and looking for all the world like he belonged there. ‘Oh,’ I said, ‘he’s here to stay.’
He raised his eyebrows. ‘Seriously?’
‘It was Rose’s wish,’ I said simply. ‘She could deal with everything else on her own. The one problem she couldn’t solve was finding somewhere for Pumpkin to live after she died. I should have worked it out far sooner. This mutt was the only thing she cared about.’ My mouth flattened. ‘A lifetime of violence saw to that.’
‘Well, good luck,’ Harry murmured to Pumpkin. ‘You’re going to need it.’
I smiled. ‘I wish that Rose could have lived long enough to see her plan through. I don’t believe that Ethan or the other trolls are wholly evil but I do believe it of Art Adwell. That man is as nasty as it’s possible to be. Rose wanted to deal with him herself.’ I bit my lip. ‘If she hadn’t died, she would have. Instead he’s going to get away with it all.’
Harry grimaced then looked up. ‘Someone’s here to see you,’ he murmured.
I turned round in my chair, spotting Jasper near the entrance to the Stagger Inn. He was watching me but, rather than approaching, he was waiting for me to go to him. I steeled myself, girding my stomach against butterflies. ‘I’ll be back soon,’ I said.
Harry waved at me. ‘I’ll be right here. Take your time.’
Pushing back my chair, I stood up and walked over. ‘Hey,’ I said awkwardly.
‘Hey.’ Jasper put his hands into his pockets. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Good.’ I paused. ‘Anything from Ethan?’
He shook his head. ‘Not yet.’
‘And the audit?’
‘Things are moving forward. I’ll be out of your hair before too long.’
‘Uh-huh.’ I shifted my weight. ‘I’ll look forward to hearing your recommendations.’
Jasper continued to watch me. ‘I hope we’re alright,’ he said finally. ‘When you…’ He grimaced. ‘When you were hurt, I was worried. I don’t want anything to happen to you.’
My mouth felt dry. ‘I’m fortunate to have good friends like you.’
‘Friends.’ His head jerked. ‘Yes.’ His eyes held mine, pinning me in place. ‘Because there’s nothing else between us,’ he said softly. ‘We decided that already.’
‘Yep. We did.’
‘Of course,’ Jasper said quietly, ‘we can change our minds. People change their minds all the time.’
I stared at him. He shook himself. ‘Anyway,’ he said, ‘I’ve got something for you.’ He reached down to a bag at his feet. ‘The clothes that you were wearing that night. The faery medic gave them to me after we brought you in to be looked at. I’d have returned them to you earlier but I washed them first. I figured that you wouldn’t want to get them back when they were covered in blood.’
‘That was thoughtful,’ I said And it really was. I supposed it didn’t matter that I’d never be able to wear them again and that I’d toss them in the nearest bin.
‘There was a scrap of paper in one of the pockets,’ Jasper said. ‘I didn’t know if it was important or not but I thought I’d better keep it in case.’
I peered into the bag, frowning. When I saw it, I knew instantly what it was. I drew it out and gazed at Art Adwell’s autogra
ph. I snorted. ‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘But I can assure you that I won’t be keeping this.’
I turned it over, about to screw it up into a ball and set it alight, when something scribbled on the other side caught my eye. I stared at the numbers written there. Then I closed my eyes and laughed.
Jasper frowned. ‘What is it?’
‘Sometimes,’ I said, ‘there are very real villains. And sometimes, they even get their comeuppance.’ I grinned. ‘I have to go.’ I waved the paper at him. ‘I’ve got to deal with this.’
‘Is it dangerous?’
‘Not in the slightest,’ I assured him. ‘All I have to do is pass on these numbers to a certain tabloid newspaper editor. He’ll know what to do with them.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Let’s just say,’ I told him, ‘that in this instance justice actually will be served. Thank you for this.’
I reached up on my tiptoes to kiss Jasper’s cheek. He turned his head at the last minute and our lips met. Delicious electricity jolted through me.
‘Go get ’em,’ he said, drawing back.
I breathed out. ‘Yeah.’
***
I made the call from one of the few remaining phone boxes in Colchester. With the code to Rose’s locker in his hands, Morgan Ferguson of the Daily Sentinel would possess everything he needed to tell the human world about Art Adwell’s murderous dealings – assuming he chose to do so. If I’d learnt anything from Rose it was that, faery godmother or no faery godmother, people needed to control their own lives and make their own decisions. Not that I had any real doubt about what Ferguson would do. This was the story of the decade, if not the century. At least as far as the humans were concerned.
I was just hanging up the receiver and heading back to the Stagger Inn in the delirious hope that Jasper might still be there when a voice floated to me through the darkness.
‘You recovered quickly enough,’ Ethan said.
I stiffened and stopped, fumbling for my wand. Pumpkin whipped round, his hackles rising. If I hadn’t tightened my grip on his lead, he’d have attacked without hesitation. Despite the dog’s reaction, I didn’t turn around. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself enough yet.