by Sabrina Kade
Over the past few months, I had gotten too comfortable in my surroundings. I spent too much time with Hujun. I underestimated the cruelty of Sidyths. I shouldn’t be shocked that Yayk wants revenge. He was embarrassed. Humiliated. Denied pleasure because of Hujun – an exiled Sidyth – stepped in to defend me. And though Yayk couldn’t make either of us pay himself, of course, he has friends on Hethdiss. The scary thing is I have no idea who they are. I didn’t recognize their voices.
That scares me even more.
I shift around, trying not to let my memories overwhelm me. I can picture the lust in Yayk’s eyes, but it was nothing sensual. He wanted pleasure. He wanted me to give it to him. He didn’t care if I liked it, craved it, or hated it. I remember how he stroked his cock without shame. I remember the loud crashes as Hujun came to my rescue.
“Hujun,” I whisper, a tear trailing down my cheek.
“Ellis.” A warm, decadent voice washes over me.
Oh, God. I miss him already. I just had him. I finally had him, and now some asshole bastards took him away.
“Hujun.”
“Ellis, are you having a night terror?”
My eyes snap open. I’m not imagining it. Hujun! Beside me! He rests a hand on my forehead, and his smile looks slightly hurt. The air is sticky and warm, and I can’t detect any more rain. My head hurts. I try to sit up, but Hujun gently keeps me on my back.
“Relax,” he says firmly. “I heard someone amongst the trees and brought you back here. I believe you had thoughts of Yayk and lost your footing. Your eyes closed. I was worried. Chentan says you fainted? It is something humans do, I suppose. Are you alright?”
I lick my lips, hardly knowing where to begin.
I fainted?
Hujun brought me back here?
He had another Sidyth look at me? Chentan? Maybe he was one of the voices I heard.
“Ellis,” Hujun rumbles, his voice like a soft thunderstorm. “You must stay with me. If you focus too much on the past, Chentan fears you will faint again. I do not like that.” He leans closer to me. “I did not like seeing you vulnerable.”
I choke back a cry. He sounds so honest-to-God worried my heart aches. But I can’t even enjoy it because all I can focus on is how those voices mentioned Yayk. Hujun. Me, though not by name. They know who I am. They know my and Hujun’s connection to Yayk.
I’m not stupid enough to think this is the last time I’ll ever hear from them.
I don’t know what to do.
Part of me wants to scream out what I heard to Hujun and let him deal with it. Surely, between him and Korben, they can figure out who wishes either, or both of us harm. But if I do tell Hujun, will he try to fix the situation himself? He said before that he was born and bred to kill. If I say to him that someone is watching me and mentioning Yayk, what will he do? Horrible visions of Hujun standing in front of Yayk wash over me. I don’t want to see that Hujun again. I don’t like the Hujun who lusts to kill and finds pleasure in it.
Maybe I should talk to Blythe. She can speak to Korben.
Maybe Hujun never has to find out about any of this.
Maybe the whole thing can be taken care of before anything happens to either of us.
But I doubt it.
“Ellis, you are trembling. Please, tell me what is wrong.”
“Did you hear anything else in the woods?”
He shakes his head. “Stray drenas. Nothing dangerous. You have nothing to fear now. Why? Did you see something else? Something that has made you afraid?” Hujun’s voice sounds softer and more unsure than usual. I feel terrible that I’ve left him with many unanswered questions. What happened with Yayk shouldn’t be his problem. I’m the one who led Yayk to believe I would give him pleasure. Hujun only stepped in because he wanted to protect me. And yes, while some of that may be because of his duty to Prince Korben, that’s not his only reason. I understand that now.
Which means, even more that I can’t tell him what I heard.
I don’t know what he’ll do. I don’t understand why Hujun’s said on numerous occasions that he was born to kill, and I’m not ready to find out about that side of him.
I keep my mouth shut and wrap my arms around his neck.
He returns the hug.
I’ve never felt so safe and so afraid at the same time.
***
Just a few days ago, I was convinced I was going to be the happiest I’ve ever been since I became a Human Whore. Hujun and I kissed. He wrapped me in his arms and kissed me. I remember his tongue tangled with mine, and his cock brushed against my opening. Everything was finally looking up, and I felt confident that I would be able to get over the whole situation with Yayk.
And now this isn’t the case.
My hands shake nearly every time I see Hujun go out of my sight. And though I am lucky enough to have him by my side for the most part, mainly because he lets me into his private lair occasionally, he can’t keep watch of me all the time. Eventually, there’s going to be an opening. And whether the Sidyths whispering in the woods want to come after him or me, someone’s about to be… fuck. I don’t even know how to finish that sentence. I can’t remain focused lately and though Kansas tries to talk to me, coach me, even, about staying in the here and now, her words feel shallow lately.
Focus on the here and now?
Okay. Here I am waiting for something terrible to happen to Hujun or me. It’s going to happen now or sometime soon.
And poor Hujun. He’s not sure what to think. He’s trying to be there for me because he thinks I’ve been spooked in the woods, but he doesn’t know the half of it. I can tell he’s getting frustrated with me again, wondering if I’ll ever return to my usual self, but if he heard what I heard, then he wouldn’t be so comfortable hinting that I should move on and except that he’ll always keep me safe.
Because he won’t always be able to keep me safe.
Either I’ll be taken from him, or he’ll be taken from me.
Either way, we’re going to be separated, and once I no longer have Hujun, I fear my best option will be returning to my work as a space entertainer. Anything to make it less easy for Yayk to track me down once again.
Hujun’s standing outside of the Gathering Room now as I’m sitting with Kansas, Alaska, Layla, and Sloane, and though I’m sure he wants me to leave and talk to him, I feel there’s strength in numbers. Not that Kansas or Alaska could do anything in a fight, but maybe the Sidyths don’t know exactly what I look like and—no. That’s terrible reasoning. I don’t want anyone to meet the fate that will befall me. Fuck, I'm so dramatic. I can’t help it. I’m scared. I haven’t been this afraid for a long time.
I expect pleasure without consent.
I expect to have to give pleasure without consent.
But I don’t know what Yayk wants from Hujun or me now.
I don’t know who I can trust.
Still, as long as I have a moment with the girls, maybe I should at least try to learn about some of my other concerns.
“Where’s Phoebe?” I ask.
Sloane and Layla exchange a glance.
“She’s with Iriel again,” I conclude dryly. Hujun stiffens in the corner of my eye. I wish I understood what Iriel’s motive was. No matter who I ask, no one seems to be a big fan of the grumpy Sidyth, so I’m not quite sure why Phoebe hangs around him so much.
“Who cares?” Alaska says. “She likes assholes. She’s not the only one.” She frowns as though she’s said too much and her light blue eyes flash toward Kansas.
“What?” she hisses, though I notice the tips of her ears are pink. “What are you looking at me for?”
“Like you don’t know.” Alaska’s frown deepens. “You better hope Arizona doesn’t find out…”
“I’m not like you,” Kansas hisses. “I’m a grown ass woman. I can do whatever I want.”
“So long as you don’t taint our reputation.”
“Screw the reputation.” She stands and smooths her skirt down. �
��I have to go.”
“Have fun, slave,” Alaska says as Kansas storms by toward the door. She says something to Hujun, and he mouths a response, and she only shakes her head again.
And then she’s gone.
What the hell?
“Slave?” Sloane chirps. “Don’t you think that was a bit much?”
Alaska shrugs. “It’s true. Kansas will be lucky if we even want her back after this assignment. As far as I can tell? She doesn’t want to work with us anymore. And that’s fine by me. I don’t like girls with freckles anyway.” She snickers as though she’s funny, but no one even cracks a smile.
Something’s going on. Something with Kansas.
And as worried as I am about Yayk, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been a lousy friend. Kansas has been nothing but nice to me, and yet I don’t have the slightest clue what’s going on with her. Ever. Is she having troubles with the State Girls posse? Does she like assholes? Is Dash mistreating her? I quickly stand, but Alaska smirks.
“Don’t bother. She likes humiliation. Always has since Arizona broke her.”
I frown but don’t say anything, not wanting to add fuel to the fire. Alaska feeds off drama and answering her would give her reason to spit fire back at me. Despite my worries, I run up to Hujun.
“What did Kansas say to you?”
He narrows his eyes.
“Please. No lies, Hujun.”
“I made a promise to her as well, Ellis. I am sorry.” He seems truly upset by this, and as much as I want to hound him, I know it wouldn’t be fair. I wouldn’t want Hujun to break down and tell others my secrets, and I’m keeping a secret from him myself, so I have no right to make him feel bad. Still. I turn my head look down the hall where she just turned the corner.
Something isn’t right.
The voice whispering for me to mind my business grows just a little bit softer.
CHAPTER SIX
Hujun
Ellis has not made a move to kiss me again. Not since our night under the talas. This disappoints me greatly because I viewed it as a challenge, and I am always up for making myself stronger. But I am not going to force myself upon Ellis. She has many worries going on in her head, and I can only hope that a small part of them are her own. She takes on the concerns of many of the other women in the group while hardly concerning herself with her own problems. She reminds me of Azan when he was younger. Always looking out for others and making sure they’re happy. Always assuming happiness is not meant for them, so they should at least help others discover it.
I like to think I am the same way, but I am not as selfless.
I continue to observe Ellis again from a safe distance because I am not quite sure what she is thinking. I thought that perhaps she would ask me that question again. The one about how kissing will make me weak because now I have a definitive answer. But she has not. She barely talks to me. And though I want to say the silence is comforting, I can feel her hands shaking again. I feel her tremors. I feel her heart racing. I feel fear.
And I do not know why.
I am incredibly bothered that she does not feel comfortable talking to me about what has brought back her fear again, but I will not push her. Ellis is strong. Even in her shaking and quivering, she is brave. She is beautiful.
But lately, the scent of her fear is stronger than before.
And it continues to rise with each passing of the moons.
What has happened to Ellis?
I frown when I go to meet her down at Korben’s room because I can hear her whispering with his mate.
“Are you sure?” Blythe sounds doubtful, and immediately I fall silent and lean closer to the opening. If Ellis asks me if I was eavesdropping, I will not lie, but for now, I must gather information. “Sweetie, I’m not saying you’re overreacting, but you’ve been jumpy since Christmas. Are you sure this isn’t some hallucination?”
“Are you kidding me, Blythe?” Ellis sounds upset. I am pleased to hear this much spirit in her tone, but I am troubled as to what point she’s trying to get across. “They said his name.”
The scales on my neck splay. Who’s name?
“Ellis, I don’t doubt what you think you heard. You know I trust you, but you’re asking me a lot. Are you seriously saying you think someone’s trying to get you?”
I can barely compose myself. Get her? Get Ellis? Why? I hiss lowly but cover my mouth before accidentally alerting the humans of my presence. I must hear more. If I get a name. If I hear her say a name—
“They said his name, Blythe. And I didn’t recognize the voices. They must have followed us into the woods. I’m telling you. He wants revenge. On him or me, I’m not sure. But someone’s against us. Against what Korben stands for. Don’t you think he’d want to know about that?”
“Well, sure. I guess. But Ellis, I’m not going to lie, your reputation isn’t the strongest here. Not lately. Can you understand that? Korben will be skeptical, and you can’t blame him for that.”
But I can. Korben would doubt Ellis’ words? Even if they came from his mate’s mouth? What kind of partnership is this?
“Reputation? What are you talking about? Oh, wait! Gee! Are you talking about how one of these monsters in pretty scales almost raped me?”
“Ellis!” Blythe’s voice rises to a surprisingly high-pitched shriek. “Stop. Don’t cause a panic. If others hear what you’re talking about—”
“Oh? What? That these Sidyths are just one scent away from trying to take advantage of us? Wouldn’t want to ruin your perfect little set up, would you?”
“Ellis, stop. I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to, Blythe. It’s written all over your face. You sit here in Princey’s room with your pillows fluffed, and you rub your stomach all day while he serves you stinky ass tea. Of course, you don’t have anything to worry about! You don’t want the others to worry either because that means the one you trust may not be so wonderful at all. And that fucking terrifies you, doesn’t it?”
“Ellis, stop—”
I burst through the curtain before my Ellis does something she will regret. Fellow human or not, a Sidyth will kill anyone who messes with his mate. And if Prince Korben finds out Ellis touched his Chosen, I’m not sure what he will do. He could send her away, and I would have no power to stop him.
I quickly seize Ellis by the waist and hull her entirely off the ground as she bellows and screams into my ears.
“Hujun?” She squeals, trying to find my face.
“Compose yourself, Ellis,” I hiss. “You do not know what it means to attack another Sidyth’s mate.”
I can only pray to the Father that Korben is not close by. Ellis is not my Chosen. My word would mean nothing. She would only be sent away if Prince Korben felt his mate was not safe around her.
“Please, Ellis,” I try in a soothing voice. “Please. Talk to me.”
“Put me down!” she screams.
“You must promise that you will not kill Prince Korben’s mate.”
“I’m not going to fucking kill anyone but you if you don’t put me down!” she bellows.
Unfortunately, this is the best promise I can expect because if she keeps screaming, Korben will come down to his lair and try to figure out what happened. I lower Ellis and she stumbles back, eying both Blythe and me as though we’re the ones who are going to hurt her. A pregnant human woman and myself. I want to snort. There is nothing here that can hurt her. Korben on the other hand…
“What is going on?” My voice is like thunder, and both women wince, but I cannot allow myself to care. Now that Ellis is no longer flailing around in my grasp, I can gather myself. “Whose name was said that has instilled you with such fear? Who said the name? Let me know.” My vision darkens, and I try not to look at either woman. I know what my eyes must look like, but the rage has snuck up on me and cannot be removed easily. “You are afraid, Ellis. I am supposed to protect you. And yet, you spoke to her about this matter?”
He
r eyes are wide. “It has nothing to do with you—”
“DO NOT LIE TO ME!”
Prince Korben’s mate doesn’t bother trying to quiet me. I do not speak in a loud voice often, but when I do, I know others are afraid. I am the muscle in Korben’s body after all. I kill so he doesn’t have to. And if I now have to take on that same role in Ellis’ life to keep her safe, I realize now that I have never been more prepared. I want to kill someone for her. The very idea leaves me excited. Now, if I could only know who it is.
“I heard you! Someone said a name! What name?” I start to advance toward Ellis, and she stumbles again onto Blythe’s bed, holding up her hands.
“Don’t hurt her!” Blythe screams.
My patience snaps. “I WOULD NEVER HURT HER!”
Prince Korben’s mate winces in bed, about to cry. Korben will smell her fear. I have not touched her, but he may not care. A Sidyth never wants to see his mate frightened, and now she is on the brink of tears. I shake my head. I don’t care about her fear. Ellis is the one I am worried about, and she is the one who is afraid.
“What has happened?” I hiss. “You must tell me now. Tell me the truth. You say truth matters to you. Tell me yours.”
She swallows hard. “I don’t want you to… get hurt…”
“That is a meaningless worry. Tell me. What name was said? Was it Yayk’s?” She winces, and while I want to comfort her, I am too angry. “Who said his name?” She shakes her head. “Tell me, Ellis. Tell me—”
“I don’t know!” she squeaks.
My anger calms, but only slightly. “You don’t know?”
“I didn’t know who they were. Their voices weren’t familiar to me.”
My shoulders slack as realization settles in. “That night under the trees. When you fainted? That’s when you heard it, yes?” I search for her eyes, but she keeps her head lowered. She doesn’t want me to see her face. Or perhaps she doesn’t want to see mine. “You heard others say the name Yayk?” Another weak nod. I lower my voice further. I need answers now. Rage later. “Did they say your name?”