by Kim Law
She nibbled on her lip but didn’t immediately answer, so he headed back in her direction. He wanted to hear it. That yes, embarrassment had been his worst crime that day, not breaking her heart. Not as Ginny had implied. He wanted her to admit it. Then he would quit feeling bad for ending it the way he had. He’d deserved to maintain some amount of integrity, after all. And if the woman hadn’t loved him, he figured she’d deserved to be left at the altar for breaking his heart in two.
“The knee was for the embarrassment, yes,” she began, meeting his gaze as he stopped near her, the water now tickling their shins. She turned so that her face was once again thrown into shadows, and her voice grew soft. “I haven’t figured out yet what to do for the pain.”
And just that fast his heart cracked, and he couldn’t have kept his distance if he’d wanted to. And he didn’t want to.
“Aw, babe.” He reached for her, cupping her lightly by the arms. “I really am sorry. I was the lowest kind of jerk that day.”
She nodded, suddenly seeming fragile in his hands. “You were. But why? Was I really so bad? Did your mother talk you out of it? Did Rob?”
“No,” he stated emphatically. “No to all of it. Why would my mother talk me out of it? She loved you.”
Andie’s shoulders lifted with a shrug. “I overheard her one day saying she didn’t think you should marry me.”
“What?” Without meaning to, he stepped back in shock. In doing so, his hands slipped from her arms. He immediately reached out to touch her again, but she pulled away. He lowered his hands. “I can’t imagine why she would have said that. She thought you were terrific.”
“Rob then?”
He shook his head. Rob had not liked her from the day they’d met, and Andie had returned the sentiment. “Rob was there when I made my decision.” He’d been waiting in the car as Mark had run into the apartment. “But he had nothing to do with it.”
“Yet he was only too happy to deliver the news.”
Mark started to protest, but then realized that she was right. Rob had been thrilled to tell her. In fact, he’d been the one to suggest he go to the church instead of Mark.
Having just overheard Andie on her call, Mark had not wanted to talk to her. He was furious that he’d let himself fall so hard, when she’d clearly been after something else entirely. “I can’t say that Rob was unhappy to deliver the news. He has a sick sense of humor like that.”
Dark eyes studied him until Mark began to shift from foot to foot. He wanted to know what she was thinking.
Suddenly, her arm shot up and his other loafer hit the ocean.
“What was that for?” he asked, incredulity lining his voice. Not that he could have worn just one shoe, but it seemed sacrilegious to toss both of them in the water.
“For sending Rob instead of having the guts to come yourself.”
He nodded, suddenly sober with the hurt he’d caused. Maybe she hadn’t loved him as much as he’d wanted her to, but it wasn’t as if nothing had been between them. Their kiss of only a few moments ago had shown that there had once been something there. Heck, there was still something there. She may claim she’d been faking it, but he’d felt her body tremble against his.
“I came by the apartment that morning. Did Rob tell you that?”
Wide eyes blinked up at him, confused. “When?”
Right. Of course Rob hadn’t told her that.
Mark had spent the night before at his parents’ home, as he and Andie had planned to follow tradition and not see each other until she walked down the aisle. Only he’d had a gift for her. Something that would’ve made the day even more special. And he’d wanted to give it to her with no one else around.
But seeing the bride before the wedding had definitely brought bad luck.
“The morning of the wedding. You were on a conference call when I came in.”
She looked briefly stunned, and then nodded. It hadn’t taken her long to remember who she’d been talking to. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because you were picking out an outfit to wear to the office.”
She lowered her gaze. They’d had many arguments about how much she’d been working. The fact that his mother had planned the majority of their wedding instead of her had been a testament to her long hours.
“It was an important account,” she said, almost too softly to hear.
“I gathered that.”
At some point, they’d begun walking side by side through the rising tide, and he could now make out another couple far off in the distance. He hoped they were enjoying themselves instead of ripping their hearts open like they were.
Andie stopped and faced him. “Is that why? Because I was going into the office that morning? I told you I was at a critical point in my job. But I wouldn’t have been late for my own wedding.”
“Andie, you’d barely had anything to do with the wedding for months. All you thought about was the job. We still made love,” — they’d come together in the middle of the night as explosively as they ever had — “but other than that, I never saw you. We never talked.”
“But my job was important. I’d told you that.”
He nodded. “And having a wife who thought of me on occasion was important, too.”
“Thought of you, as in quit her job and stayed home to raise the kids. Right? Like your mom? We’d talked about that so much.”
“Argued about it.”
“Yes, argued. Because you wanted me to be something I wasn’t. Did you really not realize until that morning that I wasn’t going to be that kind of wife? That it wasn’t what I wanted?”
“No. That wasn’t it. I meant it every single time I told you I didn’t mind if you worked.” And he had, even though he would still argue that the job she’d had wasn’t the right one for her. His father had called in a favor because she’d wanted it so bad, but it had never felt like a good fit for her. “But what I didn’t realize until that morning, and what sealed the deal for me, was that you were more interested in marrying me for my name than because you wanted me.”
Shock registered on her face. “I was not — ”
“I heard you on the phone. You were not casual in the way you tossed around the Kavanaugh name. And you invited your client to the wedding so you could introduce them to my parents. Come on, babe. What else was I supposed to think?”
The guilt on her face made it plain. He’d come to the correct conclusion.
“It wasn’t like that,” she started.
A small, regret-filled smile was all he had left. “It was exactly like that. You were more interested in a career and my name than in being my wife.”
She was quiet for a long time, as they once again began moving down the beach. They passed behind Whitmore Inn, and he couldn’t help but take in the mansion with the triple layer decks running the length of the house. In the eighteen months that they’d dated, sixteen of them engaged and living together, she’d never told him that her aunt owned a place like this. He’d barely even known her aunt existed. It made him wonder what else about her he hadn’t been aware of. And why he hadn’t pushed for more.
It wasn’t like he’d kept his life from her.
He paused in his thoughts as he admitted that yes, actually, there had been one part he’d kept from her. But that part hadn’t mattered. It had been buried long ago.
Finally she stopped walking and turned to him, and he wanted to wrap his arms around her and take them back to before she’d finished school, before she got her job. They’d been happy then.
“I might have had my priorities screwed up, but you were more to me than a name,” she whispered. Lifting her hands, she stroked her fingers along his cheeks, as if seeing them through her touch. Her face was a study in thought. It caused him physical pain to stand there and let her touch him like that, but he was helpless to stop the movements. “Way more,” she said.
She lifted to her tiptoes and put her lips to his, and he forced himself not to press for more
than the good-bye that he could feel behind the gesture. He’d come here for this.
He’d thought it had been good-bye four years ago, but this nearly destroyed him.
When she pulled back, she swiped a thumb over his bottom lip, then lowered her hand. “I loved you, Mark. I swear I did. I just didn’t know how to do that and the job, too, I guess.”
And he’d tossed it all aside without trying to make it work.
Frustration had him clenching his jaw, but the soft look in her eyes made him think of another way to say good-bye. Maybe it was too late for them, but that didn’t mean they had to finish it her way.
That light kiss had not been enough. They’d once been so much more to each other. And she was here now. Right in front of him. And he’d already figured out that she wasn’t immune to him as she’d claimed.
Without giving it further thought, he scooped her up against him and settled his mouth to hers, giving her only the briefest chance to tell him to stop. But instead of calling a halt, she opened her lips and released the sweetest, softest sigh he hadn’t heard in four years. And he was a goner.
EPISODE THREE
CHAPTER FIVE
Andie got lost in the feel of Mark’s mouth. It was a bad idea, a really bad one. But she didn’t care. She’d just found out that she’d lost him over a job she’d hated. A job she’d gotten fired from because she hadn’t been able to win the account he’d mentioned.
Life sure had a way of laughing in your face sometimes.
So right now she was laughing back. She and Mark may still be from different worlds, but he was there now, and his kiss made her think of roasted marshmallows. He was warm and tough on the outside, but inside he was gooey and delicious and she couldn’t get enough. She wanted to dip her tongue in and lap him up.
A wave crashed against them, plastering her dress to her legs, and she had the momentary thought that they needed to stop. This wasn’t going anywhere — they weren’t going anywhere. And anyway, she was pretty sure she was still mad at him. At least a little.
And she knew she’d just given him a good-bye kiss.
They should not be doing this.
Another wave slammed, and he grunted and slid his hands down to her butt, pulling her tighter against him. While trying to keep her eyes from rolling back in her head with the pure pleasure of his kiss, she sidled closer, gliding her arms up his chest to wrap tight around his neck. Her breasts pressed against his chest.
“Andie,” he moaned. His mouth traced along her jaw until he reached her ear. He nipped, and shivers flew down her spine, pulling another one of those moans he’d mentioned out of her.
“This isn’t a good idea,” she whispered. She had to keep her sanity about her. Somebody had to, and she was pretty sure he wasn’t heading down a sane path.
His lips landed on the curve of her neck, and her breasts raised their nipples for attention. Me, please, they seemed to be saying, and she couldn’t help but laugh at the joy of it. Mark was kissing her. Stupid idea or not, she loved it. It had been far too long.
“I don’t care if it’s the worst idea in the world,” he returned. He lifted his head to stare down at her. “It’s brilliant.”
His hands nudged her rear again, bringing her more into alignment with his parts, and she lifted her legs to wrap around him. His answering groan let her know that’s what he’d had in mind. Then his hand came around to the front of her to stroke a hot finger down into the vee of her dress. He pulled one edge to the side so he could lick his way over the top curve of her breast, and she was pretty sure she’d died and gone home to heaven.
She loosened her grip and leaned back, thrusting up toward him, wanting his mouth on her. Ready to plead for it to be there. His mouth and her breast were meant to spend some quality time together.
A far-off sound penetrated the buzzing in her head as she worked through options for getting her hands under his shirt while not removing herself from his body. When the sound came again, she paused, twisting her head around at the same time as Mark, and that’s when she realized what it was. Laughter.
They both squinted in the direction of the only other couple they could make out on the private beach. They were quite a ways up the coast. She wasn’t sure if the sound was drifting down from them or not, but it reminded her that they were not alone — and this was not the time to be forgetting her priorities.
She had a job to do and a business to run, and if she spent her evenings frolicking with the guests — with Mark — she might lose focus and let something go wrong.
“We—”
She stopped talking as another wave slammed into them, splashing salt water into her mouth and knocking them both to the ground. Mark let go of her and they crawled on all fours until the water receded, then she rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows, sputtering water from her face. The tide had risen more than she’d realized. They were now both lying in water.
Helping each other to their feet, they made their way up the beach until they hit dry land, then plopped down, not touching, to sit facing the water. She pressed her fingertips to her lips.
Christ, it was still hot between them.
She looked at him. “We can’t do this, Mark.”
He sat there, knees raised and arms propped across them, wet hair pushed back off his face, and water dripping from his chin. And he watched her. His dark eyes stared into her soul and she wanted to crawl over in front of him and kiss him again. The man oozed potency.
“We can’t,” she reiterated, needing him to agree so she wouldn’t be tempted to change her mind. “It’s a horrible idea.”
“Funny, it didn’t feel like a horrible idea.” His voice was low and deep, and she closed her eyes at the sound of it, turning away so he couldn’t see what it did to her.
“But it is,” she whispered. “And we both know it.” She would have stood up if she hadn’t still been out of breath from dragging herself from the water. Getting her thoughts under control, she peered back at him. “That kiss was good-bye, Mark. I never got it before, and I think maybe I needed it. But it’s good-bye.”
He nodded, not arguing but not looking particularly convinced, either. “Pretty hot good-bye, babe. You sure we shouldn’t go with it? Could make for an interesting couple of weeks.”
Light laughter lifted out of her and she dropped back to the sand to stare up at the dark sky, knowing she was a miserable mess, both inside and out. “Would definitely make for an interesting couple of weeks, but no. This wedding is important to me. I’ve got to focus all my attention on getting it right.”
He went silent and she realized she’d just done what he’d always accused her of, putting the job before him. But she had to. The job was her life. He was not.
She peeked over at him from beneath her lashes, wishing the moment could be as romantic as the dark, warm night suggested. “I can’t let a good time interfere with what could impact the rest of my life.”
“Yeah,” he bit out. “I know.” He rose to his feet and held a hand down to her. “I wasn’t thinking straight. I brought work with me, too. Dad’s retiring in a couple months and I’m trying to get ahead of my own workload before I take on half of his.”
She slid her cool hand into his warmer, much larger one and let him pull her up. “Jonathan still there?”
There were four Kavanaugh boys — Mark being the baby — and from what she’d learned before, they were all equally ambitious. Jonathan was the oldest, and had already been at the Kavanaugh firm when she and Mark had first gotten together.
“Yes. It’ll soon be just me and him unless we bring in a partner. Ryan is still in New York, happy as a fireman, and Eddie never came back to Boston once he left for college. He should be down for the wedding, though. I’m looking forward to seeing him.”
She stared up at the man Mark had matured into, and couldn’t stop the shiver that wracked her body. He was hard and big and seemed unstoppable. She couldn’t imagine sitting on the opposite side of a c
ourtroom from him. Yet he was the gentlest person in the world when it came to his family. He deserved someone who could be like his mother and stay home to raise his babies.
The thought made her wonder what had gone wrong between him and Ms. Ryan, but that was one question she was not going to ask.
“We’ll make sure not to kiss anymore so we’ll both be able to think straight,” Andie said. “That way both of us can get our jobs done.”
Hooded eyes studied her mouth before slowly lifting to her eyes. Her thighs tingled, signaling they knew what he’d been thinking as he’d looked at her. “Sure,” he said. “That’s exactly what we’ll do.” He motioned with his head to the house behind them. “Go on inside. I’ll wait to see you in before I head back to the bar for my car.”
Because he had to drive over to the hotel instead of simply going inside with her. Which made her feel guilty. Granted, it was a very nice hotel. The oldest on the island, and it came with a five-star rating. It also had a grand ballroom that Seaglass used for receptions when couples wanted something more opulent than an open-air, tented reception area.
But still, until the remainder of the guests arrived, Mark was the only one from the group staying at the hotel. Even though the plumber had actually made it to the house earlier to take care of the problem in one of the rooms, she hadn’t told Kayla to move Mark over. It felt safer knowing he wasn’t just a few doors down from her.
“Thanks, Mark.” She wasn’t really sure what she was thanking him for. Maybe the apology, maybe the good-bye kiss. And maybe just for seeking her out. She accepted now that she had needed to have a conversation with him, had needed closure, just as her friends had thought.
They began walking toward the boardwalk that led to the back of the inn, and she almost smiled as she remembered tossing his shoes in the ocean. That had certainly made her feel better. Maybe she was thanking him for not losing his mind when she’d done that. Those shoes had to have cost a fortune.