Sparkling eyes all around. They were definitely going to be a fun bunch to enjoy.
Their heads nodded in agreement.
“I don’t suppose you could just snap your fingers and send me to the end of level nine, Val?”
“Sorry, no,” she replied. “We could only do that with Wilbur because he was part of our contest, and because the satyrs allowed for it.”
“Swell. So that means that I need to get past the fae on my own.”
“I’m afraid that’s true,” Valerie stated. “They can be rather tricky, too, so we ask that you tread carefully.”
She stepped down and walked over to me. Even though I’d just finished an epic session of hide-the-sausage with Claire, I felt quite capable of playing a round or two with Valerie. She was just smokin’ hot.
“You’re sweet,” she said.
I frowned. “All right, it’s going to have to be in the contract that you can’t read my thoughts.”
She wore a sad face.
“Trust me,” I said, looking up into those glittering eyes, “if you don’t know what I’m thinking, the surprise of the things I do will only serve to improve the experience.”
Her sad face disappeared.
She nodded and then bent down to hug me. It was a little awkward because she was huge, but even more strange was that she’d grabbed my buttocks and gave them a squeeze.
It burned.
“Ouch,” I said, pulling away. “What the hell was that?”
“You are now marked as being allowed to enter the seventh level once,” she replied with an evil grin. “When you wish to do so, merely recite the phrase, ‘I want me some valkyrie lovin’’ and you’ll immediately appear in a safe zone of our arena.”
I wasn’t sure how to reply to that.
“Finish your mission,” she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. “If you survive, say the statement and we will formalize our contract and give you a permanent means to move freely between your world and our level whenever you wish.”
I laughed. “Sounds perfect.”
“It will be.”
I nodded and smiled at Claire. She did not share my enthusiasm. In fact, she appeared downright pissed off.
That made me even happier.
“Any suggestions on how I can get past the fae?” I asked her.
“You want my help?” Claire answered with a shocked laugh.
“If they kill me, you lose your prize.”
“Shit, you’re right.” Her shoulders slumped. “Hit them with a riddle. Make them take you across before you’ll answer it.” Her eyes trained on me. “And it’d better be a good one or you’re screwed.”
“Right,” I said with a nod. “Thank you.”
“Fuck you.”
I raised a mischievous eyebrow at her. “I thought you’d be too tired to go again so soon.”
The eyes in the crowd sparkled.
Chapter 30
I didn’t even bother to hesitate this time around. I knew exactly what to do and I was already well aware of what fae looked like. They looked like super-attractive humans.
So I strode out into the level and headed directly for the other side.
This caught them off guard.
It was quite amazing what people will let you get away with by simply acting like you know what the hell you were doing. In fact, I got to nearly the halfway point until a bunch of fae moved to block my continued progress.
“Halt,” said a tall dude with wavy brown hair. He was tan, smooth-skinned, and had green eyes. Wilbur—rest his…well, whatever it was that dragons had—would have approved. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m walking toward the exit over there so that I can get to level nine,” I replied, then I waved my hand dismissively at him. “If you’ll excuse me, I have a timetable to keep.”
A few of them moved, but the big guy did not.
“You can’t just walk into our level and pass through. That’s not how it works.”
“Ah, yes,” I said, snapping my fingers. “I remember now. You are the ones who like dealing in riddles.” Their faces lit up. “You will attempt to use them on me until I falter. If I fail to answer any of the ever-increasingly difficult mental puzzles you throw my way, then my life shall be forfeit.” I paced in front of the fae wall. “However, if I succeed in deciphering each volley you deliver, by the time I get to the other side, then I may walk through the exit unscathed.”
Their faces were now holding looks of surprise.
The big dude nodded at me. “You’re obviously well-read. I would not have expected this from a vampire.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” I said, irritated.
“Because you’re obviously good-looking, you have chiseled features, you have—”
“No, I mean about my being well-read.” My eye felt like it was twitching. That gave me pause. Was I more irritated about people thinking I was a vampire or about them thinking I was somehow scholarly? And why would I be upset about people thinking me smart? “Anyway, I’m not a vampire and I also don’t read good.”
“Well.”
“Well what?”
“You don’t read well,” the big dude stated.
I stared at him dully. “I know, I just said that. No point in rubbing it in.”
He furrowed his brow at me and let out a slow breath through his nose.
“Right, well, you are correct in your assessment,” he said. “We must therefore begin our questioning of you immediately since you have already managed to cover half the distance unimpeded.”
I was expecting this, but what they weren’t expecting was that Claire had given me a tidbit of information to counter them. While it wasn’t in their rules to decipher riddles I posed, Claire’s words made it clear that they would comply.
“Before you begin,” I said, rubbing my hands together, “I’ll bet that I know of a riddle that you will not be able to solve.”
They laughed and shook their heads at me. It almost felt like they considered me a child. This was rather rude, but I just held a stoic and somewhat pompous gaze at them all.
The big dude gained his composure first. “Wait, are you being serious?”
“Deadly,” I replied.
That squelched their chuckling.
I’d thrown down the gauntlet.
The big dude had a look on his face that told me he had no choice but to accept my challenge. This clearly bothered him, but I didn’t care. My life was more important to me than his pride.
“Well, then,” he said in a measured tone of voice, “what is this riddle you claim I cannot solve?”
“Walk with me and I shall tell you,” I stated as I began my stride right toward the fae wall.
To my surprise, it opened up and I was soon making steps toward the exit with the big dude by my side.
“Okay,” I said in a voice loud enough to be heard for a good distance, “what has eleven legs, is purple, and can sing opera when it goes up a hill, but has thirteen legs, is green, and cannot sing opera when it comes back down the hill?”
There was no immediate response, which was fully expected.
“So,” said the big dude, “it has eleven legs going up the hill and thirteen coming back down?”
“Yes.”
“And it is purple when going up, but green when coming back down?”
“Correct.”
“And it can sing opera on the way up but not on the way down?”
“You’ve got it.”
The walk was nearly silent aside from the clomping of shoes on the hard floor. Every face within visual range was deep in thought. Their eyes were bouncing all over the place, signaling that I had most certainly given them a puzzle that was sinisterly complex.
I was completely shocked when we got all the way to the opposite side of the level and there hadn’t been a single word spoken.
They all stopped twenty feet away from the exit. I went all the way up to it and turned around, standing wi
thin jumping distance of the stairs, just in case.
“Well,” I said, smiling, “here we are. Do you have an answer for me?”
If you’ve never seen a bunch of defeated-looking fae, you haven’t lived. They were notoriously snobbish and better-than-thou in their dealings. To see them standing before me wearing faces of inferiority was immensely rewarding.
“No,” admitted the big dude. “Tell us, what is this thing that has eleven legs, is purple, and can sing opera when it goes up the hill, but has thirteen legs, is green, and cannot sing opera when it comes back down?”
I grinned and turned away, facing the stairs.
“I have no idea,” I called over my shoulder, and then ran like hell.
Chapter 31
Fae typically didn’t use a ton of foul language, but the ones who were halfway down the stairs behind me sounded like drunken sailors. These guys were unrolling a stream of obscenities so vile that it could have been used for inspiration for one of Estelle’s poems.
But that was level eight, and it was now behind me.
Level nine was my new problem, and I still could not remember who was down here.
My first thought was Satan, but the demons would have laughed at that.
One thing was for certain, whatever it was on level nine, there was only one of them. I knew this because the instructors had drilled it into our heads during training. They said that the…whatever it was, was not something to be trifled with. Now, considering all the levels I’d just been through, I can’t imagine anything above that was trifle-worthy, so the creature on level nine had to be pretty dire indeed.
I stepped out and glanced around.
This level was nice. I’m talking Las Vegas five-star-hotel nice.
Where the other levels had rock floors or were covered with goop or satyr essence, this circle of “hell” had polished marble. The walls were clean and sleek, covered with paintings so vivid and beautiful that it threatened to take my breath away. Even Warren’s rune paintings paled in comparison, and those had been quite something. There were couches, chairs, tapestries, tables, and pretty much everything you would expect in one of the most luxurious lobbies in the best of hotels on the Strip.
The question I had was: Who was this all for?
Me?
“Hello,” said a voice so smooth that the hairs on my neck stood up. It was practiced, flawless, and warm. Very warm. “Allow me to welcome you to the ninth level.”
I turned and saw a man wearing a black suit that was fitted perfectly. He was built roughly the same as me, though the V-shape that went from his shoulders to his waist was less pronounced. His hair was black and slicked back, which looked quite chic. His smile was dazzling. I mean seriously dazzling. And it was so genuine that I found myself smiling back almost instantly. Truth was that I should have felt freaked out and on my toes, but I wasn’t. I was calm, cool, and relaxed. This was doubly strange since I couldn’t see his eyes. He was wearing dark sunglasses. Considering the lighting in the area was rather dim, I couldn’t understand why he’d need shades, and it made me think he was hiding something, but…I didn’t care.
Something in the back of my head told me that the fact that I didn’t care should be worrying me.
“You are Officer Ian Dex, right?” he asked.
“Just call me Ian,” I replied, reaching out my hand, though I didn’t know why.
He shook my hand. His grip was firm and warm.
“My name is Basil,” he said.
At least it wasn’t Lucifer, which I found humorous as I recalled the demon queen’s name from level six.
“What brings you to level nine, Ian?”
“Same old story,” I said, waving my hand. “A bunch of cops get tricked by a dragon, who sends her kids to eat us, we get separated, the dragons chase me through the nine levels, and I try to get to the other side before being gooped on, fucked to death, eaten, killed, and all those other lovely things that come with the various circles.” I shrugged. “I just want to get to my crew.”
“I see,” he said with a slow nod. “So you’re not on some quest of fealty or some kind of learning event?”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. I’m the chief of the Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department. My crew is on the other side of the tunnel that connects through here. I’m just trying to get to them.”
“Hmmm.” He smiled again. “That sounds innocuous enough.”
“That’s what I thought,” I replied, leaning in conspiratorially. This guy was making me feel more comfortable than I should have. “But it turns out that everyone on the various levels wants your…well, whatever they each want, regardless of what you want.”
“It’s their way,” he said. “You can’t blame a beast for acting in accordance with its instinct. A lion does not attack the elk because there is hate in its heart or because of some political agenda. It does so merely because the lion is a predator and the elk is its prey.”
I grimaced. “Still sucks to watch it.”
He smiled again. This time it didn’t feel as pleasant. This time it felt devilish.
Were there other names for Satan that I didn’t know about? There were a few I did know, like Abaddon and Apollyon. I glanced his way. Could Basil be short for Beelzebub? Or maybe Belial?
“Come along, Ian,” he said as he turned and walked away. I felt compelled to comply. “I shall walk you to the tunnel that you seek.”
“Really?” I said, following him.
“Of course. Your purpose is true. Therefore, I will lend aid where I can.”
This was odd.
“Well…thanks.”
“This surprises you?” he said, glancing over at me.
“If you’d just been through what I’ve been through over the other eight levels, you’d understand why I’m not exactly feeling all that trusting.”
His laugh was the kind that made you feel something bad was about to happen.
Good-looking or not, this dude was creeping me out.
“I understand your trepidation,” he said after a moment, “but don’t blame them for their atrocities. Again, they are but lions among the elk. You and I, we are thinking men. We do not resort to mere instinct. We rationalize, seeking truth and understanding before coming to our conclusions.” He stopped and turned to face me. “We choose when to attack and when to let live.”
A pit in my stomach formed at his words.
I’d have to play the game with this guy, too. I didn’t know who the hell he was, but everyone and their mother in the academy taught that this was one bad dude. He was clever, yes, but he was also the embodiment of evil.
The side of his mouth turned up in a half-smile that suggested he may be able to hear my thoughts just like the valkyries.
To verify, I turned my mind back to Claire.
“The dragon who follows you is the lion,” he declared an instant before resuming our walk. “A wonderful, beautiful lion.” He released a serene sigh. “Well, she seems clever enough when in discussion, but her base impulse is to attack. That, of course, makes you the elk, I’m afraid.”
“So I gathered,” I said as we began heading down an escalator. “Where does this lead?”
“To the lava streams,” he answered. “Don’t worry, though, I shall deliver you safely to the other side, for you are giving me something that I dearly desire.”
“I am?”
“You are,” he affirmed.
“What’s that?”
He merely smiled again in response.
Chapter 32
Basil stayed relatively quiet as we traversed the rocks that led us through the pits of lava.
He seemed to be focused on the task at hand, so I didn’t want to interrupt his train of thought. I feared if I pestered him in any way, it could make him slip into the pool of fire, and while he may be equipped to survive such a thing, I was relatively certain I could not. Not that I would necessarily fall in after him, but I didn’t know how all of this worked, so why chance it? A
nd even if I didn’t fall in after him, it may serve to piss him off enough to pull me in anyway.
The interesting part of this journey through this section was that it wasn’t hot.
It should have been.
We were surrounded by bubbling, molten rock. That shit was known for being hot and steamy.
But I noticed no change in temperature. In fact, it was almost as if we were walking on a glass-like material that hovered over the burning sea.
I went to test this theory, when Basil said, “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”
Instead of dipping my shoe in the lava, I set it back on the rock and continued following him along. Okay, so lava that doesn’t radiate heat exists on level nine. Clearly it was still dangerous stuff or Basil wouldn’t have said anything, and it was also apparent that he was a man—or whatever—of his word, since he stopped me from injuring myself.
But I still didn’t know what this mysterious thing I was apparently providing to him was, or why he was so happy to receive it.
If it was my “soul” or whatever, why would he go through all this trouble to bring me to the other side of the level before taking it? It was pretty apparent that he could manipulate me quite easily.
This guy had to be the devil, right?
Who else could make you feel equally safe and seriously freaked out in the same instant? The master manipulator, yeah? To be fair, I didn’t believe the devil even existed. Yes, I knew all about gods and angels and demons and such, but a single God with a big “G” and a dude who was thrown down into a pit of fire and all that? None of the supernaturals believed that stuff. That was for normals to dig into, not us.
I looked around at the pit of fire and then up at the back of Basil’s perfectly slicked-back hair.
“Hmmm,” I said with a raised eyebrow. Then I snorted. “Nah.”
“You’re correct,” Basil stated. “I’m not the devil. In fact, there is no devil. Nor is there, as you put it, a God with a big ‘G.’” He chuckled. “Clever way to say it, though.”
The Ian Dex Supernatural Thriller Series: Books 1 - 4 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department Box Sets) Page 42