He stopped and pointed again in the direction of the orcs.
“Those are my people, Ian,” he said, sounding almost sad. “The dragon queen doesn’t care if they live or die. I do. With your help, we may be able to save your wizard and my people at the same time.”
“Ah.”
Trezgel began his walk again.
He was taking us to the side of the tower, castle, or whatever the hell it was called. Frankly, it looked kind of like both. Castle on the bottom and a massive tower on the top.
We approached one of the walls and Trezgel began putting his hands on various rocks, using different fingers and different positions with each one. It was obviously some type of passcode that, when entered correctly, opened a secret entrance. I shuddered to think what would happen if you got the wrong code, and I didn’t see any “forgot your password?” notices anywhere.
“Be on your toes,” I said through the connector, even though it didn’t need saying. My crew was made up of professionals who had seen more action than I had. But it’s the kind of thing chiefs said. “I have no clue what this dude is planning, but if he double-crosses us, let’s at least kill his ass before we die.”
“Agreed,” said Turbo. “I already have my gun trained on him, Chief.”
A quick peek showed that Turbo’s weapon was out and focused. Again, I had no doubt that the little gun was dangerous as hell, especially considering that Turbo had built the damn thing, but it was difficult to rationalize.
It’s like trying to wrap your head around the fact that if you took a cubic meter of a neutron star, it would weigh roughly the same as the entirety of the Atlantic Ocean. I saw that on a PBS show while eating ice cream and wallowing in despair after becoming chief and realizing that I could no longer bone the chicks on my crew.
A piece of the wall glowed for a moment and then disappeared.
“If you will please follow me,” said Trezgel, “I will lead you safely to the queen.”
Chapter 38
We followed the orc into the castle, fully expecting to be attacked the instant we were all inside.
That didn’t happen.
He walked up through a winding staircase that made me think that I’d not been spending enough time at the gym as of late. I was never one who was fond of running on a treadmill or doing the stair stepper machine, but this made those options almost appealing. Trezgel’s tree-trunk legs could probably go up and down these steps all day, but mine were burning. I couldn’t even imagine how Griff was handling this, seeing as how he was the oldest member of my crew.
“You okay, Griff?”
“Couldn’t be better,” he replied in an almost chipper voice. “I was just explaining to Chuck how glad I was that I’ve been employing the use of the stair climber machine at our condominium complex.”
“Right.”
After what seemed an eternity, we finally reached the top of our ascent and the orc opened a door.
We stepped through and our breath caught.
If it was Trezgel’s goal to tire us out to the point where we couldn’t even hope to put up a struggle, he had succeeded. Harvey, Turbo, and Griff all appeared none the worse for wear, but the rest of us were hating life.
“You should really consider putting an elevator in this place,” I suggested through gasps.
“The dragon queen would not allow such things,” the orc replied. “She flies, as you may recall, and dragons are not exactly known for doling out sympathy to anyone.”
I nodded, still bending at the waist with my hands on my thighs. “What about that old wizard of hers, though?”
“He has developed his own magical lift, and he does not share it, either.” Trezgel glanced out one of the windows. “If you wish to save your wizard friend, we must hurry. Time is growing short for him, I’m afraid.”
“How do you know that?” asked Rachel.
“The glow emanating from the dragon queen’s lair is growing.”
I pushed myself to full height and released a loud “Phew!” The rest of my team did essentially the same thing, but in their own way.
“Lead on,” I said tiredly, knowing that my legs would recover in a matter of minutes. “And no funny stuff.”
Trezgel did not reply.
We exited the small room we were in and padded down a hallway that was adorned with jewels and runes.
“What are these runes?” Jasmine asked Trezgel.
“They are used to notify the dragon queen of approaching people.”
“So they’re notification runes,” Felicia said with a laugh. She then stared up at Trezgel, who had stopped at another door. “Kind of hard to sneak up on Charlotte if she knows we’re coming, asshole.”
“They are in the midst of a ritual,” he replied, clearly not offended by the name-calling. “The runes will be nothing but background noise to them.” He swallowed and sighed heavily. “I’ve seen this ritual firsthand when the dragon queen and the wizard created my people.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” I replied as his words hit me. “You’re telling us that the massive army of orcs out there was created by Charlotte and Gandalf?”
Trezgel frowned. “I’m sorry, but who is Gandalf?”
“He means Melvin,” Rachel corrected while rolling her eyes.
“I see,” Trezgel said. “Yes, they were both responsible for the creation.”
“But you said you saw this happen, right?” said Turbo. “If you were created with them, how could you—”
“I was not created with them,” interrupted Trezgel. “I was the seed that allowed their creation. I have lived the life of a nomad since Netherworld Proper attempted to eradicate my race. I’ve been hiding in caves and living off of what little I had.” His words were heavy. “The dragon queen found me and promised to rebuild my people if I would allow her to do so.” His face tightened. “But she deceived me. All she wanted was an army so that she could bring them into the Overworld and build a kingdom.”
“What the what?” I said, blinking. “She’s creating a portal to bring the orcs through?”
“Yes, Ian,” Trezgel said with a slow nod. “That’s why she needed your wizard. His essence was required to power the rift.”
I grimaced. “What do you mean by his ‘essence’?”
“He’s talking about his personal energy, you freak,” Rachel said more venomously than I was used to. “Honestly, do you have to have your mind in the gutter all the time?”
I blanched.
“Not all the time, no,” I retaliated. “But Charlotte was coming on to Warren in the Overworld, right? And while you may be a mage and have a deep understanding of all this shit, I don’t.”
She thinned her eyes for a moment and then looked away.
I had no idea what the fuck her problem was, but it was getting old.
I opened a direct connection to her. “Look, if you want to be a bitch to me about whatever the hell you’re pissed off about, fine, but do it on your own time. Right now we’re working, so get over it.”
“Fuck you.”
Not unexpected.
“When this portal opens,” asked Griff as the space between Rachel and I grew thicker with each passing moment, “what will happen?”
“The dragon queen will fly down and release my people. They will follow her to a portal that will connect with some place she has been calling ‘the Strip,’ and they will bring it to its knees.”
Chuck adjusted his hat. “You know where in this castle that portal is going to open?”
“Not specifically,” Trezgel answered. “She won’t say.”
“Just doesn’t want anyone else to get through the portal before she does,” said Griff as he tapped his chin. “This is her moment of glory. Dragons are not known for sharing those.”
Trezgel gave a single nod to acknowledge that what Griff had said was accurate. Not that I had any doubt, seeing that Griff was the most experienced mage in the Vegas PPD, but it was always good to have a confirmation.
&n
bsp; “Then I guess we’d better stop her,” I stated, motioning Trezgel to open the door.
Chapter 39
The room was awash with lights of all different shades and hues. It was like standing in a Faraday cage.
Yes, I watched a lot of PBS shows whenever I get depressed. Don’t judge me.
Warren was on a table, strapped down with his face toward the ceiling. His eyes were closed, but there was an eerie glow around the lids that told me the electricity was flowing through him.
He looked kind of like a scrawny Frankenstein who went on a pot-brownie and ‘shroom kick while cranking up Pink Floyd.
Melvin, the old wizard, had his staff raised with one hand while his empty hand was swiftly drawing designs in the air. They were obviously magical symbols of some kind. Each one that he drew flashed momentarily and then flew into Warren like a projectile. In turn, my chief wizard jolted slightly after every hit.
Charlotte was back in her human form, facing away from us and acting like the third point of a magical triangle. The mini bolts of lightning bounced from Warren to her when Melvin launched a symbol into the fray.
Another fragment of the energy then got sucked up into a shiny metal ball that sat above them all.
I pulled up Boomy and fired it right at Charlotte’s back.
She lurched forward with the hit, but the breaker bullet bounced off, signaling that she either had her armor up or that the ritual was protecting her. But Charlotte didn’t spin around or anything. She just stepped back into position and continued on with whatever it was they were doing.
My guess was that she was in a trance of some kind.
“Take out Melvin,” I yelled over the crackling noise that filled the room.
Felicia and Chuck fired, but their bullets bounced away without even disturbing the old wizard.
“I’ll do it,” cried Turbo as he pulled the trigger on his miniature gun.
A boom reverberated. The kick of the weapon blew the pixie back with such force that he smacked into the wall behind him and slid down it.
The bullet didn’t fully penetrate the shield, but it was enough to distract Melvin. This, in turn, brought Charlotte out of her trance.
She spun and looked at us.
“You dare to betray me?” the dragon queen screamed at Trezgel. “You are nothing but a worm!”
“Technically,” I said, raising a finger, “you’re a wurm, right? You know, with a ‘u.’”
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me.
“I watch PBS whenever…” I began and then stopped myself. “Never mind.” I glowered and said, “Stop what you’re doing or die.”
“Phnop phnut phnyou’re phnoing phnor phnie,” Charlotte spat back in a childish mocking way, much like Rachel did to me from time to time. “I’m not afraid of you insignificant pieces of shit.”
“Your kids are dead,” I said, hoping to elicit some response from her. “Maybe if they’d had a little fear, they’d still—”
“Yawn,” she replied, unfazed. “They were worthless anyway, except for Claire, that is.” A stream of electricity struck her on the shoulder. Her face showed a look of pleasure at this. “How did they die?”
“Uh…” I squinted at her, thinking that if she didn’t care about them dying, why would she want to know how they’d each met their doom? “Well, Stan had his head bitten off by the demon queen.”
“He pissed off Lucy Für, eh?” she said, smirking.
I opened the connector and said, “Look for ways to get to them while I keep her occupied.”
“And what about Wilbur?”
“Died in a sex contest.”
Rachel gave me a sharp look and shook her head.
So that was the problem! I knew it. Why it bugged her down here and not in the Overworld, I couldn’t say, but clearly she was pissed. Then again, she always gave me shit about my sexual escapades, so what made this one so different in her eyes?
“A what?”
“The valkyries,” I explained as chatter along the connector made it clear that my crew had found a potential hole in the shield. “Uh, I told them that I was no match for a dragon in a fight and since they required fairness, a sexual competition was decided upon.”
“So,” Charlotte said, blinking at me, “are you saying that you fucked my son to death?”
“I didn’t,” I replied as my entire team turned to look at me. “The satyrs did. Well, they didn’t technically either, but me and Claire were just better boning each other than the satyrs and Wilbur were at boning each other.” Even with all the electricity bouncing around the room, it felt like the place went silent at that moment. “He died happy, if that matters.”
“Why would it?” she asked.
“Because you’re his mother and…” I looked at her and saw the confused expression on her face. “Right. Anyway, Claire didn’t die, but she ended up marrying Basil, so she’s kind of eternally trapped.”
“I warned her to buy sunglasses from Basil’s mother,” Charlotte said. “But did she listen? No.” She shook her head. “Kids these days.”
“Actually,” I corrected her, “she did buy the glasses, but my team magically removed them, which gave Basil the ability to use his eyes on her.”
Charlotte crossed her arms and pursed her lips. Her eyebrows were up and she appeared rather impressed.
“Interesting,” she said, her eyes darting to each member of my team. Obviously she wasn’t going to be able to take us as lightly as she assumed she could. If we took out all three of her kids, certainly we were at least some level of threat that should be respected.
Felicia stopped her study of the room and looked back at me. “So, you boned the dragon and then she married the basilisk?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing,” she chuckled. “Just that you were essentially her bachelorette party.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said as a sinister grin crept onto my face. “Cool.”
Rachel scowled. “Perv.”
My grin faded away.
“Anyway,” I said, redirecting my attention back to Charlotte, “the fact is that I was responsible for killing two of your kids, and my team and I got your third child eternally trapped in the ninth level.” I raised Boomy and aimed it at her forehead. “Do you really think you can beat us?”
It was her turn to grin sinisterly.
Chapter 40
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best idea to challenge a dragon like that, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team.
This is what went through my mind as I slid down the same wall that Turbo had slid down after firing off his gun. He was sitting next to me rubbing his head while I rubbed the indent on my chest that was caused by the boot of one Charlotte the Dragon.
She was fast. Like Haste fast.
“Ouch,” I said as Charlotte zipped around the room, punching and kicking my team as if they were standing still.
I had to do something, but I didn’t know what.
Sheesh, that crazy dragon bitch was even giving Trezgel a solid ass-kicking, and he looked to be built out of granite.
Time.
The thought rang out from my subconscious mind, much like Flashes had done when we’d been hunting Shitfaced Fred a while back.
A vision of Dr. Vernon during her extended orgasm came to mind. That had been something to see, certainly, but how did the Time thing play into stopping Charlotte? I suppose I could use Time to stop everything and give her a lengthy orgasm.
Ummm…no.
She didn’t deserve it.
Time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn’t like I didn’t hear myself the first time around. But what was I supposed to do with it?
I studied the room as bodies flew about. There was no way I could get past that infernal dragon, and even if I did, how was I to get to the table and free Warren with all that electricity flying about?
A thought struck.
“Turbo,” I said, plucking the pixie on the head g
ently.
“Hey,” he answered with a frown. “Watch it.”
“Sorry. Listen, if I can get you through that…” I pointed at the swirling energy.
“Maelstrom?”
I shrugged. “Sure, okay. If I can get you through it, would you be able to use your gun to blow up the silver ball thing that’s sucking up all the energy?”
“Kerpow would make minced meat of that ball,” he said while eying his gun lovingly.
“Kerpow?” I said with a chuckle.
“Boomy?” he replied with a chuckle that mocked my own.
“Right.”
Now, the real problem was that I didn’t know if Turbo was going to be able to manage the time differential alongside of me or if he’d be slowed down with it in much the same way Dr. Vernon had been. During my tryst with my eminent psychologist, I’d lived outside of the time dilation. She hadn’t.
“I’m going to slow time,” I said to the pixie. “When that happens, you’ll probably be seeing me move super fast. You might want to close your eyes for this.”
“Slow time?”
“Exactly,” I said as I closed my eyes and calmed my mind.
I recalled the way I’d thought about the word before. The feeling, the inflection, and the desire. Not that desire.
Time.
Everything slowed to a crawl.
I picked up Turbo and stuck him in my shirt pocket. There was room. It wasn’t like I put pens in there, after all.
While everyone else was moving in slow motion, I was able to go at the same speed as always.
The first thing I did was move Jasmine out of the way from the incoming fist that Charlotte was throwing.
The second thing I did was punch Charlotte in the head, which had to have felt like she’d been hit by a planet.
The third thing I did was stand in front of Rachel and stick my tongue out at her. I probably stood there doing this for far too long, but it felt good to get it out of my system. While her face was moving super slow, I had the sensation that her eyes were in the process of creasing angrily.
The Ian Dex Supernatural Thriller Series: Books 1 - 4 (Las Vegas Paranormal Police Department Box Sets) Page 45