She snorted and gave me a disbelieving shake of her head. “There’s only you that can eat after watching someone’s brains splatter the wall.”
“Hey!” I chastised, “You did well, baby. No mess this time. I’m proud of you.”
She beamed up at me and gave a small proud shrug of her shoulders, “Yeah, I hoped you noticed.”
“I did,” I confirmed with pride at my little warrior as I kissed the top of her head and led her to the house.
Chapter 15
Ava
We were both laughing loudly as we fell through the front door of the house, Mason attempting to cheer me up with small tickles and prods on my backside. He slammed into my back when I came to an abrupt halt at the sight before me.
Nate stood silently with a forlorn expression on his face, Liv beside him with her face downcast, staring at the pattern on the carpet but it wasn’t them I couldn’t tear my eyes from. It was the three suitcases planted on the floor beside George.
I knew before he opened his mouth that he was leaving and I whimpered as my soul ripped from inside me in preparation to leave with him.
He looked at me, a haunted appearance marring his handsome face. A tear slipped free and the sight of it finally broke me. “George, please…”
He shook his head angrily, but I knew it was his way of coping; his father was the same. “I can’t do this anymore, Mom. He’s…” His voice broke as he pointed at Mason, “He’s dangerous. Everything within range of him shrivels and dies, you included.”
“No, sweetheart,” I urged as I hurried towards him and took his hands, gripping onto them too tightly but unable to let go. “No.”
“Yes,” he hissed as his fury surfaced. He grabbed at my arms and spun me around until I was facing the mirror, his dark eyes looking back at mine in the reflection. “Look at you. Look what he does.”
I tried to close my eyes but he shook me, “Mom, look at yourself.”
“This wasn’t him, George. This was…”
“NO!” He bellowed in my ear, making me jump with the severity of it. “This is the carnage he leaves in his wake. It’s not even the first time; it’s not even the second or the third. It will never end and I can’t stand here and watch you be destroyed. I can’t and won’t wait in the background while he destroys you.”
“But...” I stuttered as I turned to him. “I can’t do this without you George. You’re my son, my life and I’m nothing without you.”
“Then come with me. Leave him.”
“Wh…what?”
Everything was going wrong. Everything I had built up since moving here was falling around me, the shelter and defence I had struggled to erect for my family was crumbling around me and burying me under its rubble.
I turned to Mason, angry that he was just stood silent, angry that this was all his fault, angry that he was letting this happen and wasn’t doing anything to stop it. “Please, Mom. Come with me. Start again, a fresh life, free from his fucking dodgy shit and his extreme ability to ruin everything, you included.”
Mason continued to stare at me, expressionless and stoic as my son begged me to leave his father and start a new life with him. Visions of the last eighteen years ripped me apart; Mason’s torturous drug habit, his addiction to whores and women, his dominant rule; Dane’s cruelty and persecution, the rapes and beatings, the slice of excruciating agony when the poker seared my back. Rebecca’s taunting smirks, ridiculing me, her evil face mocking me as she ran her hand across Mason’s arm, her sneer as she wrapped her arms around his neck and broke my heart. Then finally, Kade’s loving eyes, the warmth and adoration on his face and the way he would make love to me.
I turned back to George and smiled sadly, “No.”
He swallowed and the sight of devastation on his face tore my heart into pieces. “Whatever you think of your father, I love him and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he would use his last breath to protect me. Life is life, George and one day I hope you’ll understand why I’m doing this but I love your father with everything I am. He is me… and I am him. We’re one; we share the same breath, the same air and the same soul. You will never know the extent of what he has done for me, and I never want you to know, there are some things that shouldn’t be shared with your children.”
“Oh, believe me, I know.”
I palmed his cheek softly and shook my head, “No George, you don’t. You have no idea what he pulled me through. He forced me through the gates of hell and taught me to keep fighting until I reached the other end, and until you have experienced life, I don’t expect you to understand. But I need you to know, although I’m not coming with you, I love you so much it hurts. You gave life to me as I gave it to you, you gave me hope and happiness and for that, you will forever be in my heart. But I can’t and won’t leave your father, I will never leave him until the heavens decide it’s our time and even then I know he’ll be behind me, holding my hand and following me through.”
The tears he shed shredded any strength I had left but I locked my knees and stood firm, not allowing him to see how much more painful this was than anything Mason had ever done before. My husband could be cruel and merciless but I knew with my very soul that he would never abandon me.
But now George had to experience life to understand it and I wouldn’t be the one to hold him back. I couldn’t force him to stay and I wouldn’t. I knew he needed to do this as much as I needed air to live.
He nodded then bent to pick up his case, “I’ll be with Uncle Nate and Aunt Liv if you need to get hold of me.”
I returned his nod, holding his gaze determinedly but he finally broke and dropped his case, his arms curling around me as he press me so tight I was scared for my ribs. “Christ Mom, I…” His sobs swallowed his words but I held onto him with as much strength as I could find. “I love you,” he whispered as he pulled away and walked from the room, the sound of the front door closing too loud for the delicate air around me.
I stood silent, my knees trembling and threatening to admit defeat as my soul shrank and wept.
“Baby,” Mason whispered behind me.
I hadn’t realised we were alone and wondered how long I had been stood there. I turned to him, the pain on his face as agonising as the shredding of my heart. “I’m so sorry, Ava. I…”
He dropped to his knees before me and sobbed, his wretched cries tearing at the final strands of my heart as I fell before him and wrapped him up, “Ssshhh, baby.”
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over until his throat became too dry and he began to rasp. Both the men in my life had finally and ultimately destroyed me, shattered my soul and defeated me.
Vickie said my family was my strength but I begged to differ. Nobody, not even Vickie, could estimate how much my family broke me, how much they took from me and how much they crushed me.
But, as my soul splintered, my spirit kicked in and fought back. My heart punched me in the guts and declared its vitality with another beat and my armour strengthened yet again and demanded that I get to my feet and live another day.
“He’ll be okay, Mason. I promise.”
He nodded eagerly against me, his tears drenching me and his pain engulfing me as I pulled him closer and devoured it all from him.
Once again, my glorious bastard fed the warrior in me and I knew we would make it through.
Endurance was underestimated.
The End
Endurance (Heart of Stone) Page 7