by K. A. Hobbs
“Jack gave me a lead so I can connect my phone in the car, can I do that?” I ask cheekily.
“Sure you can.”
I delve around in my bag until I find the lead, then connect it. I bring up my music and press play, Champagne Supernova, one of my favourite Oasis songs of all time begins and Carmen smiles.
“You’re full of surprises, Carter, you know that?”
“Am I?”
“You’re from Chicago and your favourite band is Oasis. You’re about to give up travelling to… Yes. You’re full of surprises.”
“I mean what I said, I’m not leaving you to go through whatever you’re going to have to go through alone, no way.”
“Can we talk about this another time? Get Wednesday over with before we start making big decisions that will change both our lives forever?”
“Whatever happens on Wednesday, both our lives are about to change,” I tell her, reaching over to take her hand. “And whatever they tell you, Carmen, I’m going to be here.”
“Thank you, I really mean it, thank you Carter. I’ve never met anyone like you, you’re pretty special you know?” she smiles.
“If you say so,” I shrug a little uncomfortable. “So when are we stopping? This road trip is seriously lacking in snacks.”
“Are you hungry already?” she laughs.
“One thing you need to learn about me, I’m always hungry. Like, all the time.”
“We only had breakfast a little while ago.”
“A muffin is not breakfast, it’s barely even a snack.” I laugh.
“There are services in ten miles, we’ll stop then, okay?”
“Deal, and I’m stocking up, a road trip is supposed to have food, and games, want to play a game?”
“Sure what is it?” she reaches over and turns down the music a little.
“We each have to think of five questions, it’s like quick fire, no chance to think, first thing that comes into your head.”
“Okay, you go first.”
“I’m going to need a few minutes.”
I sit there, watching the cars whizz past the window and think of my five random questions to ask her, I want them to be lighthearted, funny, nothing too serious. When I have them, I turn a little in my seat and rest my back against the door.
“Ready?”
“Ready.” she nods.
“First thing that comes into your head okay?”
“I know how to play the game, Carter.” she rolls her eyes.
I lose the ability to talk for a few seconds, the sun comes out and shines right through the window illuminating her profile. She’s so unbelievably beautiful, everything about her is in perfect proportion. She has the cutest nose and the most kissable lips, and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to kiss her.
“Carter?” she smirks at me.
“Sorry. Right,” I run my hand over my mouth, a little embarrassed at getting caught blatantly checking her out. “Beatles or Stones?”
“Really? That’s your first question?”
“Answer the question.”
“Stones.”
“Really? I would have guessed Beatles.”
“Next question, you’re so easily distracted.” she laughs.
“Tea or coffee?”
“Both. I’m not picking one or the other, sometimes I want coffee and sometimes I want tea.”
“A rule breaker, I like it.”
“Next.”
“Sweet or savoury?”
“Savoury.”
“Hard or soft?”
“What?!” she exclaims, her eyes shooting to mine.
“Hard or soft.”
“I’m not answering that!”
“Why?”
“You’re being dirty.”
“Hard or soft is dirty?” I grin at her.
“You’re fully aware what you’re asking.”
“Answer the question.”
“Soft… Bed covers, jumpers, blankets.”
“Last one, Harry or Jack?”
“Jack.” she answers then claps a hand over her mouth.
“You fancy my brother?” I tease her.
“I do not, I just couldn’t deal with Harry and his constant need to be disgusting.”
“Jack is the same, believe me.”
“He’s not, he can at least control himself… Sometimes.” she tells me.
“Rarely.” I smirk.
My brother is just as bad as Harry.
“Really, are we done?”
“Yup, those are your five. Do your worst.”
She bites her bottom lip and I can almost hear the cogs turning while she thinks of her five questions.
“Okay, favourite drink?”
“Beer.”
“If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?”
“Pizza.”
“What song would you sing at karaoke?”
“I don’t sing.” I shake my head in disgust.
“Answer the question.”
“Brown Sugar.”
“Morning or night?”
“Morning.”
“Blonde, brunette or red head?”
“Brunette.”
I look over and she’s deliberately keeping her eyes to the front.
“Services in a mile, still want munchies?” she coughs.
“Absolutely.”
Since landing in England, I’ve not had the pleasure of being able to shop for junk.
That’s all changed now.
I’m standing in a store, that among other things, has aisles of junk and I think I’m in Heaven. I reach for a packet of something called Monster Munch and examine them, I don’t know what they are, but I’m willing to give them a try. I pick up another three bags of different chips and then head to the candy aisle. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn to look at an amused looking Carmen.
“How long do you think we’re going to be driving for?” she laughs at me.
“I’ve never tried any of this stuff, what are Monster Munch?”
“Crisps.”
“Chips?”
“Yes, chips to you. Are you done?”
“Nowhere near done.” I grin turning back to the candy.
It’s a mine field, how do I know what to get? I pick up a few things and examine the packets, I hear Carmen laugh and turn back to her. She’s grinning at me and shaking her head and damn if she doesn’t look adorable.
“What?”
“You’re like a child, you can’t possibly eat all this and there are plenty of shops in London you know.”
“You’re right, I don’t need to buy everything do I?”
“I don’t want you being sick in the car.”
“I won’t be sick,” I chuckle. “I have a strong stomach.”
“Okay, Are we done?”
“I am. What do you want?” I ask, gesturing to the candy.
“Well, I was going to get these.” she holds up a packet of some kind of chips and a chocolate bar.
“I’ll get them, pass them to me.”
“You don’t have any hands free.” she laughs.
“Trust me,” I make a cradle with my arms and she places her two items on top. “Anything to drink?”
“Just a water would be great. Do you want coffee?”
“Just a black one. You’re not going to get it from a machine are you?” I scrunch up my face.
“No, you snob, I’m going to Starbucks, is that acceptable?”
“Always.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you outside when you’re finished buying enough junk food to give you a heart attack.”
I finish making my selection and head over to pay, there are a few people in front of me and they all look at me like I’m mad when they see the amount of stuff I’m carrying. Out of the corner of my eye I spot a packet of Oreos.
Cookies of my homeland.
I must have some.
“Hey, dude?” I ask the guy in front. “Could you add a pa
cket of Oreos to my mountain here?”
“Do you really need more?” he laughs, reaching over and grabbing a packet before placing them in my arms.
“Probably not,” I laugh. “But it’s my first time in England and you have so many different things to try.”
“Well, don’t eat them all at once.” he tells me before he steps up to pay.
I pay for my snacks and with two bulging bags head out to find Carmen. I spot her straight away, sitting on a little stool outside the coffee shop. She’s looking at her phone and frowning. I don’t like it and I decide I need to find something to make her smile. I look around and spot a whole pile of soft toys inside the shop I just left, I head back in to see what I can find. A few minutes later I find it.
A bear.
Perfect.
I take it to the counter to pay then head out to Carmen again.
“Here.” I hold out the bear to her and she looks up.
“A teddy bear?”
“Yes. A teddy bear.”
“Why are you giving me a bear?”
“It’s to remind you, you’re stronger than you think you are. That whatever happens next week, you’re going to kick the ass out of it and you’ll come out of it stronger.”
“Carter…”
“No, no. Listen to me,” I crouch down in front of her, putting my bags on the floor next to me. “I know you’re scared, I’m scared for you too and that’s okay. If you weren’t scared, I’d think you were strange. All I’m trying to say is, you’re going to beat this thing, you’re going to be amazing and if you let me, I’m going to be there for you. I’ll come to every doctors appointment, I’ll hold your hair back when you’re sick and if you lose your hair, I’ll give you my Bears hat to wear because you know what? Those bobble hats are the warmest things in the world.”
I reach up and trace her cheek with my thumb, she blinks and tears fall down over her cheeks, rolling their way over my hand.
She tries to smile.
I see it.
But it doesn’t happen.
I hold up the bear and make a kissing sound as I press its face to her cheek, she laughs then completely breaks down in front on me.
“I didn’t mean… Oh, shit,” I stand and pull her to me, holding her while she cries. “I’m sorry.” I tell her, not knowing what else to say.
“Don’t be sorry,” she sniffs, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“But you’re crying.”
“I’ve kept everything in, ever since I found out, I wanted to be strong, I wanted to fight it on my own, but I don’t think I can.”
“You’re not alone. I’m here.”
“Are you being serious? You’re going to be with me through all this?” she reaches out and takes the bear in her hands.
“Yes. If you want me to be.”
“I don’t know why, I’m not even going to think about it, but I do want you here. In a strange way, I need you here too.” she smiles.
“Then you’ve got me.”
“Thank you, Carter.”
“I haven’t done anything.” I shrug.
“You’ve done everything, thank you for my bear.”
“I wanted you to smile, and maybe, he’ll get you through this too.”
“He needs a name.”
“He does,” I agree. “What’ll it be?”
“Well you bought him for me, what do you think he should be called?”
“You don’t want to ask me that.” I laugh, knowing exactly what I would call him.
“I’m asking you, tell me.”
“I’d call him Walter.” I grin.
“Why Walter?”
“After Walter Payton. He’s the best running back the Bears ever had, that’s why.”
“Football?” she sighs, rolling her eyes.
“I did tell you not to ask me.” I laugh.
“Fine, we’ll call him Walter. Let’s hope he brings me as much luck as your Walter brought the Bears.”
“Are you okay?” I crouch down a little to meet her eyes.
“Honestly, no. But I wont be until I know what I’m in for,” she smiles sadly at me. “Having you here helps, I can’t explain it, but it doesn’t feel like we just met two days ago.”
“Strange huh?” I grin.
“Very,” she looks over my shoulder then back to me. “Are you ready to get back on the road?”
“Sure,” I pick up my bags and she laughs. “In the words of Ron Weasley, I’m all set.”
“Come on, I’ve got our coffee, you’ve got enough food to last a week and we have Walter as our official mascot, what more do we need?”
“Nothing. Let’s go.” I smile, throwing one arm around her shoulders as we walk out into the carpark.
Carmen drops me off at the hotel Mom and Dad booked us all into for the time we’re here. I get my bag from the back and stand on the sidewalk waiting for her to say something. She stands just looking at me and I get the message, it’s up to me to work out what happens from here.
“Can I take you out for lunch tomorrow?” I ask her.
“That would be lovely, I have to speak to my parents, then Wednesday is the big day, lunch would be great.”
“I’ll talk to Mom and Dad, explain everything. I’ll make sure they don’t say anything to Jack.”
“Carter, can you just wait until after Wednesday? I don’t know anything right now, can I at least find out what’s going to happen before you tell them?”
“Of course. Sorry.”
“Thank you. So I’ll see you tomorrow? Shall I come here?”
“No, I’ll come to you? Give me your address, I’ll work it out.”
She gives me her address then kisses my cheek goodbye. I stand there and watch as she drives away, completely lost as to what I’m supposed to do now. I pick up my bag and head into the hotel, giving them my name, they hand me my key and I head up to my room. I suddenly feel exhausted and in desperate need for sleep. I guess the jet lag is hitting me now.
I step into my room and drop my bag to the floor, I take my phone out of my pocket and text Mom and Lex to let them know I’m here and I’m going to shower and get some sleep. Mom texts back and says they’ll meet me downstairs for dinner tonight. I switch it to silent and head to the shower. The heat helps relax me and I climb into bed, exhausted ten minutes later. Before I switch the lights off, I check my phone, there’s a message from Carmen.
Carmen: Thank you for the best car journey ever. And thank you for Walter, he’s going to keep me company while I sleep, I’m exhausted! See you tomorrow. xC
Me: Lucky Walter. I’m going to sleep too. I’m here if you need me. xC
I wake up to soft knocking on my bedroom door. Mum’s face appears ten seconds later and she smiles at me. I smile back and sit up as she comes in and sits on the bed.
“Feel better after a sleep?” she asks, reaching out and running her thumb under my eyes.
“A little.” I shrug.
“Dinner is almost ready, do you want to join us?” she asks hopefully.
“If I can wear my pyjamas.”
“Sweetheart, you can wear whatever you like.”
She leans forward and kisses my forehead and I close my eyes and fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I have to be strong, I have to fight this, I can’t cry and I can’t let Mum know how scared I am that I won’t survive this, that when I go to the hospital on Wednesday, they’re going to tell me that the doctors in Australia were wrong, that there is nothing they can do for me.
“I’ll just go to the loo then I’ll be down,” I smile at her. “What are we having?”
“Your favourite.” she grins.
She leaves me and I reach for my phone, there’s a message from Carter and my heart leaps at the sight of his name on my screen.
Calm down, Carmen. I tell myself.
You’ve known this guy two days and now is not the time to start thinking about getting into anything with anyone.
I open the message screen and there’s a photo of a cup of hot chocolate with the message; if you know the secret, it’s perfect every time ;)
I grin and reach for Walter, sit him on my chest and take a photo of the two of us, my hair is a mess and I look half asleep, but I really don’t care. I send the photo with the message; Walter needs to know the secret. What is it? I take my phone with me when I head downstairs, the delicious scent of lasagne filling the air. I head into the kitchen and find Mum and Dad sitting at the dining table reading the papers. They both look up when I come in and smile, I almost run to them and climb into my Dad’s lap and beg him to make this better like he always could when I was a little girl.
I don’t.
This is hard enough on them as it is.
“I see you dressed for the occasion.” Dad jokes, looking me up and down.
“You mean pyjamas and fluffy slippers aren’t the done thing at the Reid family dinner table?” I smile, sitting next to him.
“Not usually, no.” he laughs.
“Just this once?”
“As it’s you.” he smiles and I lean over to kiss his cheek.
“Dad and I are having a glass of red, do you want one?” Mum asks, standing.
“I don’t think I should.”
“Sweetheart, one glass isn’t going to hurt you.”
“I suppose you’re right, go on then.”
My phone bleeps at me and I pick it up off the table, Carter’s name is sitting on the screen and Dad doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not looking over my shoulder.
“Dad, a little privacy, please.”
“Who’s Carter?” he asks me.
“He’s Jack’s brother.”
“And why is Jack’s brother texting you?”
“Well, I gave him a lift back from Cornwall, so maybe to say thank you?” I scowl at him.
“Okay…”
“Don’t do that!” I slap his arm. “There is nothing in it.”
“Is he good looking?” Mum calls from the kitchen.
“Mum! Stop it!”
“That means he is.” Dad teases me.
“You know I’m looking for a place to move into, don’t you?” I tell them, glaring at Dad.
“You don’t need to, we have your room upstairs and we’ll be here to look after you.”
“I don’t need looking after.”