by K. A. Hobbs
“You’ve had moments where you’re so scared everything freezes? Where you can’t think of the next breath you’re going to take because you’re not sure you’ll get one…. Well that’s what it felt like for the time you were in surgery and then when you came back out, until you woke up and I could see you open your eyes.”
I stand up and go to sit in his lap, wrapping myself around him and holding him as he wraps his arms around me. I’ve been so busy worrying about myself, trying to get myself better, I failed to realise the tremendous ordeal Carter has been living with this whole time.
“You’re who kept me fighting, Carter. You were and still are, my strength.”
“I didn’t feel all that strong, I got my strength from seeing how incredible you were. You don’t even see it do you?” he smiles, looking into my eyes.
“I see you,” I tell him. “I see how you kept me going, how you helped me every single day even though we’d just met.” I press light kisses to his face.
“We might have just met, but you know what I think? All that suff people say about souls? I think ours knew each other, I think they knew the other half of them was wearing a red dress and a wedding suit.”
“You know you’re kinda romantic, Carter Manning?”
“I guess so.” he chuckles.
“And you know it kind of makes me want to take you to bed when you say stuff like that?”
“Does it?” he grins at me.
“Yeah…” I lean down and kiss him, making sure there is no space between us. “It’s a real shame I have so much wrapping to do…”
“I can help.” he pulls back, dark eyes bearing into mine.
“Oh you can? So the secret to getting you to wrap is to turn you on and tell you I’m turned on too?”
“Apparently.” he nods.
“Okay then,” I climb off him and sit back down across from him. “The sooner we finish wrapping, the sooner we can go to bed. Sound good?”
“Sounds delightful.”
“Then get wrapping, your sister’s present is over there.” I point in the direction of the tree where a pile of unwrapped presents still sits. “And press play on the iPod, this needs Christmas music!”
We touch down at Chicago O’Hare International Airport at just gone eight-thirty and Josie is right, it is freezing. There is so much snow on the ground I actually stop in my tracks just to look at it. Carter stands beside me grinning, clearly amused with my reaction.
“Cold enough?” he chuckles, wrapping one arm around me.
“You could say that, I’m so glad I listened to you and didn’t bring anything with a heel.”
“You can always buy heels here if you want some and I know you’re not completely telling the truth, I saw into your bag, there was definitely a pair of black heels in there.”
“Yeah, but those don’t count. They’re for Christmas day and you told me we’d park on your parent’s drive.” I look up as I snuggle into him.
“We will. Now, are you done freezing your ass off? Dad’s parked over there.” he raises his chin in the direction of a sleek black car.
“Yes, I’m sure there will be plenty of time to freeze my butt off.”
“Don’t freeze it off, I happen to love your ass.” he sneaks his hand lower down my back and squeezes it.
“Carter, your Dad.”
“Please, just you wait until you see Mom and Dad together, he’s constantly groping. Scarred for life I tell you.”
Carter’s Dad climbs out of the car and hugs Carter before wrapping me in a hug too. When I open the back door after insisting Carter sit in the front with his Dad, I’m greeted by squeals.
“Carmen!” Alexis yells. “You look gorgeous! How are you?”
“Alexis,” I laugh, sitting down and buckling myself in. “How are you?”
“Better now you’re here, do you know how much willpower it took not to get out with Dad just now?” she laughs.
“A lot, knowing you, Titch.” Carter smiles at her as he gets in.
“I’m going to let that go, seeing as I’ve missed you like crazy!” she tells him, beaming.
“Are we all buckled up?” he asks, we nod and Nick starts the car.
I watch Chicago fly past my window as I listen to Alexis, Carter and Nick talk about stuff and people I have no idea about. I catch names and places but that’s about it, they talk so fast it’s difficult to keep up so I just sit there grinning, not really believing I’m in Chicago with Carter. I pull out my phone and text Josie and Megan to let them know we arrived safely and then enjoy the scenery. Everything looks so different to back home and I can’t wait to explore the snowy city with Carter.
We turn off the motorway, I can’t help but think of it as that even though I know it’s not called that here, and make a slower journey to where I guess Hilary and Nick live. We turn down a tree lined street and I can’t help but smile even more, it’s just like it is in movies, children out building snowmen on the lawns of their houses it’s a beautiful scene to witness and makes me feel a little giddy.
“You okay back there?” Carter asks, turning in his seat.
“I’m great.” I smile back.
A few minutes later, we pull into a big driveway and stop in front of a white house with lots of windows and blue shutters. The front porch covers the big blue front door which has a pillar either side and everywhere is covered in the fluffy snow I’ve seen during the entire journey. Nick gets out, followed by Alexis who jumps out and runs into the house, Carter turns to look at me and flashes me that damn smile that has me practically melting on the spot.
“This is where you live?” I ask, suddenly understanding why he could afford to move to England and not worry about money.
“No, this is where Mom and Dad live. This is where I grew up.”
“It’s a beautiful house, Carter.”
“You’ve not seen all of it yet, are you ready?”
“Yes. Carter?”
“Yeah?”
“I just want you to know that I love you, just you.” he smiles and leans over the seat and into the back.
“I know, I love you too. Any reason you want to tell me that now?” he runs his hand gently down my face and I lean into his touch.
“I just realised what you left behind, what you gave up… For me. It’s a pretty big deal.”
“I gave up nothing to be with you, I gained everything. You are everything and you always will be.”
“Let’s go in shall we?” I smile tearily at him.
“No, not right now, you look like you need a hug, come here.”
He climbs over and sits next to me, holding out his arms. I don’t hesitate to crawl into his lap and let him wrap me in his arms. I snuggle into him and breath deeply for a few breaths. He’s right, he’s always right, I do need a hug.
“Is it all a bit much?” he whispers as he runs his hand up and down my back.
“Yeah,” I hiccup as the tears come. “I’m not sad, I’m the complete opposite, I’m so incredibly happy and I feel like the luckiest person alive, I think I might just be actually.” I laugh.
“You’re not.”
“Then who is?”
“Me.” he smiles, kissing me.
The door gets pulled open and Alexis stands there frowning.
“Mom’s going nuts! Are you coming in?”
“We’ll be there in a minute Lex, okay? Just give us a minute.”
The look Carter gives her must make sense, because she quietly closes the door and leaves us in the darkened car. I don’t know how long we sit there for, but I do eventually feel my emotions calm down enough to go inside. When I pull back, Carter wipes away the stray tears still lingering on my cheeks and leans in to kiss my forehead.
“Always tell me how you feel, I’ll make it better if I can, and if I can’t, I’ll hold you till someone or something can. Always.”
“I will, I really do love you.”
“I really do love you too.” he grins then climbs out and holds his hand out for
me.
We walk into the house and Hilary comes out of a room straight ahead of us and holds her arms out to me. It’s such a motherly, protective thing to do, I feel myself wobble again. I manage to hold it in though and we pull apart, smiling at each other.
“You look so well, I’m so glad you’re here and you’re okay.”
“I’m glad to be here too, just a little overwhelmed right now.” I laugh.
“Understandable,” she smiles. “Now, don’t be offended but I want a hug from my boy.” she smiles, walking over to Carter.
“Hey Mom.” he laughs, hugging her.
“You look well too darling, how are you?”
“I’m really good, starving though.”
“Some things never change, come through to the kitchen I’ll make you a snack, lunch will be early. Pancakes?” she asks looking between us.
“Pancakes is a snack?” I raise an eyebrow.
“It is for me.” Carter grins, taking off his jacket and helping me with mine.
The kitchen is beautiful, all cream and wooden tops, there is a big breakfast bar and an even bigger table. Nestled into the corner is a Christmas tree decorated like nothing I’ve ever seen before.
“I see the decorations have already snuck in here now Jack’s not here.”
“They wouldn’t be if he was, but it feels empty without you all here.”
“It looks beautiful, Hilary.” I tell her taking a seat next to Carter at the breakfast bar.
“Wait until you see the main one in the front room.” Carter grins like a child.
“What can I get you to drink?” Nick asks.
“Coffee, please, Dad.”
“Coffee would be great.” I smile.
We hear Alexis’ raised voice and then she appears looking a little flustered. Without making a big deal about it, Nick passes her a coffee and looks at me. I can see he wants to say something but decides not to.
“So guys, are we out tonight?” Alexis asks hopefully.
“No Lex, we’re not.” Carter scowls at her,
“And why not?” she huffs.
“Because it’s two days before Christmas, we’ve just flown in and In case you’ve forgotten we’re used to being on a different time zone.” he rolls his eyes
“Did you also turn eighty while you were away?” she rolls her eyes too looking so much like him.
“Did you forget you’re not sixteen and can’t wrap me around your little finger anymore?”
“Now now children, Carmen doesn’t want to hear you bickering.” Hilary admonished them.
“Bickering? Mom, this is just talking!” Alexis laughs, leaning over to flick Carter’s ear.
“Welcome to the family, Carmen.” Hilary laughs. “Can you imagine what it’s like when Jack’s here too?”
“Jack starts it all.” Alexis grins
“Sure he does, Titch.” Carter laughs.
“Anyway,” Hilary smiles. “Carter, we had your apartment cleaned for you, but you’re welcome to stay with us.”
“We’ll stay at mine, Mom thanks, any news on getting it let out?” he asks his Dad.
“Yes, two people are interested, looking to move in after the holidays.”
“You’ll stay here Christmas Day though? So you can both enjoy yourselves and not worry about driving back?”
“Of course,” I tell her. “I’m so excited to be here for Christmas.”
“We’re delighted to have you here.” Hilary smiles.
“So, I was thinking, if Carter can spare you for a couple of hours, I have some last minute shopping to do, you could come with me?” Alexis asks giving me the look.
The look that says say yes Carmen.
“I’d love that.”
“And you can help with the last of the lights outside.” his Dad points to Carter.
“Dad it looks fine, we have this every year.”
“Then you should have come to expect it.” he laughs.
I can’t sleep.
I’ve been trying for two hours and it’s just not happening.
Carter however is fast asleep next to me, his bare back exposed to my greedy eyes and temping me with every slow second that ticks by. I contemplate getting out of bed but when I slip one leg out from the warmth of the covers and onto the floor, it’s freezing. I snuggle into Carter’s back and he stirs, resting his hand on mine and pushing back a little, his soft skin heating where it touches.
“Are you enjoying being the little spoon?” I tease him, leaning closer to kiss his neck.
“Are you enjoying being the big spoon?” he asks, his voice deliciously sleepy.
“It has it’s advantages.” I grin against his back.
Sneaking my hand around to the front of him, I let my fingers lightly brush his stomach, his abs tighten under my touch and he groans softly. The sound seems to cause a wave of heat and arousal within me and I can’t help myself, I pull his shoulder back and straddle his hips. He may have woken up only minutes ago, but he’s alert like he’s been awake as long as I have.
“You’re very awake.” he smiles at me as he brings his hands to rest on my hips.
“I haven’t been asleep… Jet lag.”
“Shall we work out a way to combat the jet lag?” he grins cheekily up at me and I grin back.
“I think it’s only right, I mean… I don’t want to be exhausted tomorrow do I?” I lean down and rest my lips against his.
“Absolutely not,” he presses his lips a little firmer against mine and slips his tongue into my mouth. “And in any case… We need to make some memories in Chicago, and these are some of my favourites to create with you.”
“They’re mine too.” I pant, my breathing picking up as his hand comes up to trace one nipple. “I love all our memories though.”
“So do I.” he grins, before flipping me over and onto my back, “But let’s create some more to be sure.”
I do finally fall asleep only to be woken up two hours later by my phone buzzing on the nightstand beside me. Sleepily I look at the screen and see Josie’s name and face, even in my sleepy state it makes me smile.
“Hey Jose.” I croak.
“Did I wake you? Shit, it’s the middle of the night isn’t? Blame the pregnancy.” she laughs down the phone.
“Yeah, you did wake me, I only managed to fall asleep a couple of hours ago. It’s fine, what’s up?”
“Nothing, I just wanted to ask you to pick me up some things I can’t get here and I’m craving to the point of killing someone for them. I’ve already spent a small fortune online shopping for them and I have to ask you now while I remember because I’m forgetting everything right now.”
“Text me a list okay? I haven’t got a pen and paper and Carter’s still asleep.”
“I’ll let you get back to sleep, I’m sorry for phoning so early, I need to remember the time difference now you’re not here.”
“I’ll speak to you later.”
“Yeah, miss you. Love you.”
“Miss you and love you too.” I end the call and switch my phone off and roll over to snuggle with Carter.
“Who do you love and miss? I’m right here.” he grumbles and rolls over.
“Josie, she wants us to take a few things back with us.”
“And it couldn’t wait?”
“Sure it could but you know, it’s Josie and she says she’s forgetting everything lately. It’s fine, go back to sleep.”
We both fall asleep quicker this time and I don’t wake up until gone ten. When I peel open my eyes I feel surprisingly refreshed. I hear Carter in the kitchen and head that way, picking up my discarded robe on the way. The sight that greets me has to be one of my favourites, and I stop just to watch for a while. Carter is wearing his flannel pyjama bottoms that sit low on his hips and no
t-shirt, so his whole back is on display for me. His broad shoulders and back are one of my favourite things about him, his work and workouts keep him in the best shape I’ve ever seen and my stomach does a
delicious little flip as I take him in.
“Don’t be a peeper.” he teases me, turning around grinning.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask surprised, the carpet having concealed my footsteps.
“You just sighed.”
“Did I?” I walk towards him. “Well, it’s hardly surprising, look at you.”
“I know, right?” he grins, wrapping his arms around me.
“I’m a very lucky girl.”
“You are.”
“You’re playful this morning.”
“I can’t believe I’m waking up with you in Chicago and tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.”
He pulls my head up and kisses me and everything tingles from the top of my head to my toes as his hands sneak inside my robe and I’m lifted up and placed on one of the bar stools before he walks back into the kitchen and begins making breakfast. I shamelessly stare, he knows I’m staring and he doesn’t care. When our tummies are full, we make full use of Carter’s insanely big shower, there’s even a tiled seat that runs across the whole back part, Carter assures me, this will come in handy sometime over the Christmas break.
When we’re getting dressed for the day, there’s a knock at the door. Carter pulls on a pair of jeans and heads out to see who it is while I finish getting dressed. I’m just slipping my jumper over my head when I hear raised voices, realising the female voice isn’t that of Hilary or Alexis, curiosity gets the better of me and I head out to see who it is. The woman stood in Carter’s lounge is small, blonde and clearly has surgically enhanced breasts, I’ve not heard a name but I’m going to guess this, is Madison.
“I’ve made it perfectly clear, I’m not interested.” Carter tells her, standing with his back to me.
“But I don’t get why Carter, we were great together, what can possibly have happened to stop you seeing that?”
“Ummm,” I speak up as I step into the lounge and beside him. “I think that might be me?”
“And you are?” she asks, looking me over.
“Carmen, I’m guessing you’re Madison? I’ve heard… Well, about you.”
“Really Carter?” she looks at him, a disgusted look on her face. “You disappear without telling me for Jack’s wedding which I was supposed to go to with you—”