by T. Novan
"Why, Colonel Redmond, you do know how to turn a simple country girl’s head. Sounds wonderful. We have a date. I think the haircut can wait until tomorrow."
To set the mood, Charlie immediately launched into quoting one of his favorite poets, the English cavalier, Phillip Sidney.
When most I wink, then do mine eyes best see,
For all the day they view things unrespected;
But when I sleep, in dreams they look on thee,
And darkly bright are bright in dark directed.
Then thou, whose shadow shadows doth make bright,
How would thy shadow's form from happy show
To the clear day with thy much clearer light,
When to unseeing eyes thy shade shines so!
How would, I say, mine eyes be blessed made
By looking on thee in the living day,
When in dead night thy fair imperfect shade
Through heavy sleep on sightless eyes doth stay!
All days are nights to see till I see thee,
And nights bright days when dreams do show thee me."
--*--
Charlie was preparing the fire in the rear parlor, having just dismissed Beulah after giving her authorization to bring another three members of her family up to work at the farm. Colonel Polk knocked, and then entered the room. "Charlie, do you have a minute?"
The commander’s shoulders slumped; he had promised the evening to Rebecca and really did not want to go back on that promise. "What do you need, Richard?"
"I promise you it will only take a minute or two. I have reports that you need to see before I dispatch them."
"All right," Charlie joined him at the door just as Rebecca came in. "Dear, I have one small thing to tend to then I will be right in, I promise."
She smiled and caressed his cheek. "All right, Charlie." She then looked to his friend. "Do not keep him too long, Colonel Polk."
"No, Miss Rebecca, it will only take a minute."
"Very well. You know, Charlie, I think I will meet you upstairs." She told him with a twinkle in her eye that gave him great pause.
"All right. I will be up directly." Trying not to think about it, he turned to his second in command. "Come on, Polk."
--*--
Once the men had left, Rebecca adjourned upstairs. She found her orders had been followed precisely and by the fire in their room sat a tray with hot tea and sweet rolls. She finished preparing the room and when she was finished she had a rather nice little spot created by the fire.
Spreading a couple of heavy army blankets, she covered them with the quilt from the bed, to take some of the hardness from the floor. Then she changed her clothes and slipped into her robe. After that, she took her hair down and gave it a quick but thorough brushing so it flowed freely over her shoulders. Then she sat down near the fire and waited.
--*--
Charlie and Polk adjourned to the office for a brief review of Polk’s reports to the Quartermaster General.
Charlie shook his head. "I swear I believe these idiots are using the war just to get rich. The quality of some of these woolens is such that I would not give them to slaves. Flaws, holes even. How do they expect us to keep an army moving on this garbage?"
"I do not make the stuff. I just complain about it."
"Well then, keep complaining." Charlie signed the documents, then said, "If there is nothing else?"
"No, Charlie. Go spend time with your lady. I would say she has something planned for you."
Charlie smiled contentedly, as he walked back to the rear parlor. Rebecca was no longer there and the fire was banked. Smiling in anticipation of spending quiet time alone with his lady, he mounted the stairs to their room. Opening the door, he looked into the sitting room. No Rebecca. But the door to their bedroom was cracked and there was a soft light coming through. He stepped into the room and was confronted with the most beautiful vision. There she was, dressed in a soft robe, her hair loose and shining around her shoulders. His chest went tight; his hands itched to touch her. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to get a little control over his suddenly pounding pulse. "My love, you are beautiful."
She smiled and ran her hand over the blanket. "I dare you come over here and tell me that, Charlie." She gave the floor next to her a pat. "I have something sweet over here and you did promise me a romantic evening."
Charlie ran his finger under his collar to loosen it a bit, then walked over and settled onto the quilt next to Rebecca. "My love, you are beautiful." He lifted her hand to his lips, then turned his head and caressed it with his cheek.
"And you are the most charming and handsome thing I have ever seen." She leaned over and gave him a tender kiss.
Her lips left his, and, for a moment, he remained immobile, his eyes closed, savoring and memorizing the silken warmth that had touched him. When he did open them, Rebecca was looking into eyes that were the silver of the moon on a summer night.
"Would you get out of your uniform, Charlie? We should both be comfortable this evening." She ran her finger down his cheek. "I have plans for you, dear man."
"What would you like me to put on, dear? You know I am yours tonight, and every night for the rest of my life."
She tugged in the button of his tunic. "I do not care what you wear, but this," she tugged again, "is far too much cloth between us."
Charlie choked a little at her suggestion. He needed to know more of what she wanted. "Just the jacket or should I put on my nightshirt and robe?"
She chuckled at his apparent nervousness. "Get ready for bed, Charlie. I promise I will not bite."
Unlike their normal routine, where Rebecca afforded him some privacy as Charlie transformed from man to woman, he could feel her eyes burning into his shoulder blades. A blush started at the tips of his ears and burned its way down his body. Slowly, he removed his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders. The wrappings around his chest came off, freeing both his breasts and the woman under the disguise. The transformation from man to woman was almost complete.
She slipped her britches and underwear off, and pulled a clean, white nightshirt over her head. Donning the robe, she tied the belt. Charlie turned to look at Rebecca's face, unsure if the woman by the fire wanted who she was now.
Rebecca held her hand out. "My beautiful Charlie."
Charlie let go of her breath in a soft sigh, retrieved a little book from the pocket of the tunic and returned to sit beside Rebecca. She was feeling a little shy and a lot hopeful.
"Charlie," Rebecca dipped her head just a bit before looking back to her companion, "I am not really in the mood for poetry at the moment." She gave Charlie a beguiling smile.
Very gently, Charlie covered Rebecca's hand with her own much larger one. "What are you in the mood for, sweetheart?"
Her blush deepened and her smile grew wider from embarrassment. "I was hoping, maybe we could, well……" She looked up. "Well, I really want to explore a few things with you."
Charlie's blush matched Rebecca's, but she moved gamely forward. In a voice made husky with sudden wanting, she responded, "I am always here, always open to anything you want. Ask, and if I am capable, it is yours."
"Are you sure? I do not want to make you uncomfortable, but I think it is time for me to learn more about the feelings I have when I am with you. Feelings I have never felt before."
Rebecca felt a fine tremor pass over Charlie's body. What Charlie wanted was to take Rebecca in her arms; to make Rebecca scream with pleasure; to hear her own name cried out in that moment when the universe exploded into a myriad of crystal rainbows. "Darling, my heart, my soul and my body are all yours to do with as you wish."
She nodded her understanding. "I have a confession to make. Before I got sick, there was a night when you came to bed. You thought I was asleep, but, well I was not……" Rebecca leaned in and kissed Charlie again. "It was that night that these feelings began stirring and I have had them everyday since and they on
ly get stronger with each passing day." And yet again she kissed her. "I am told it is because you excite me, Charlie."
Charlie drew a deep breath, in part to quell the embarrassment at knowing that Rebecca had listened as she eased the ache between her thighs that night. Then Rebecca's words soaked into Charlie's brain. I excite her? Charlie drew Rebecca into her arms and gently returned the kisses. "And you excite me beyond words, my love."
Rebecca’s breath caught in her throat as she felt Charlie’s hands on her body and the sensations started in her body with a vengeance. "I want to explore a little." She tentatively ran her hand over the outside of Charlie’s thigh. "I need to touch you, Charlie."
The tremor ran deeper; Rebecca could feel it under her fingers. "I am yours." It was just a breath against her ear, and she could hear it down to her soul.
"I am not sure how far this will go, Charlie, you do understand that? And I certainly do not want to tease you, so if you would rather not, I will understand." She stilled her hand on Charlie’s leg until she received an answer because she really had no desire to make Charlie miserable.
At the moment, Charlie did not care where the exploration went. All that was important was that Rebecca was touching her. Her. She swallowed convulsively and repeated, "I am yours. However you want me."
Rebecca smiled and took another kiss. She slid her hand up Charlie’s side then to her shoulder until she started back down the front of her robe. She paused in her movements just as her hand reached the slight swell of Charlie’s breast. She broke the kiss and looked to Charlie for permission.
Charlie's eyes were silvered with desire; she could not control her body's reactions. Still she looked at Rebecca and shyly smiled and nodded.
The small woman let her hand travel slowly the rest of the way. Touching Charlie’s body was delightful and she was truly glad she decided to explore her desires more. Her hand lingered at Charlie’s breast and then slowly closed over it, feeling it and learning the feeling of her body. She moved her hand and slid it under Charlie’s robe, needing to get still closer.
With her free hand she placed Charlie’s hand on her own hip. "It is all right Charlie, I need your touch too," she whispered, feeling just a little nervous.
Charlie's breathing was rapid and shallow. Her eyelids fluttered to half closed as Rebecca's fingers closed around her always sensitive breast. Charlie could feel her nipples tightening till they ached. Charlie's hand gently stroked up Rebecca's side, a long, sensuous stroke that traced from her hip, along her waist, up her ribs and came to rest with Charlie's thumb stroking the tender skin beneath her breast. "You are so beautiful."
Her words and her touch sent chills all over Rebecca’s body. "God, Charlie, I have never felt anything like this before. It feels so good." She brushed her thumb over Charlie’s hardened nipple. She realized that her own were becoming erect and very sensitive.
Charlie's body curled around the hand that was driving her insane. Each stroke of Rebecca's thumb went straight from her nipple to her core. Charlie dropped her head to Rebecca's shoulder and tenderly kissed her neck.
Rebecca’s head moved to the side giving Charlie as much room as she needed to nibble and caress the hollow of Rebecca’s throat. A soft moan left Rebecca’s lips when her eyes slid shut. Rebecca felt dizzy. Knowing that sitting upright for much longer was not an option, she began laying back, making sure to hold tight to Charlie. "Yes." She moaned again.
Charlie slid her arm under Rebecca's shoulders and eased her down to the quilt. Never taking her lips from the throat and shoulder, Charlie softly covered Rebecca's body with her own. The feel of the slender form under her, the length of their bodies pressed together drew a long, shuddering sigh from Charlie.
"I love you, Charlie." Rebecca managed to gasp out even as she tugged on the belt of Charlie’s robe and slipped it from her shoulders. "Tell me how to please you."
"My love, my love. Anything. Touch me." Charlie slid her hand around Rebecca's breast, gently rolling the already hard nipple between her fingers. "Just touch me. Hold me."
She moved to Charlie’s neck and began exploring there with her lips. She loved the feel of the soft skin under her lips. It amazed her how loving and tender this was and how much she wanted to be here with this woman. Her hand slipped back to Charlie’s breast and grasped the warm weight through the material of the nightshirt. She threw her head back and moaned when she felt Charlie touch her nipple. "God!" She gasped and she felt a rush between her legs.
She felt her body responding to her lover. She brought her leg up and it settled between Charlie’s legs. She was going to shift until she heard a long deep growl from the woman.
The feel of Rebecca's thigh against her own aching need drove Charlie to the point of no return. "Oh, God, please, please." Charlie moaned. Her hips started to move in slow rhythm. Her hands wrapped themselves around Rebecca's shoulders, holding on for dear life, as Charlie quivered in Rebecca's arms. She buried her head in Rebecca's shoulder. "Please."
"Yes, Charlie, it is all right, my love." She whispered in her ear. "I have you, darling, let go. I will protect you."
The force of Charlie's hips against Rebecca’s thigh increased. Then Charlie's body stiffened, pressing hard into Rebecca. A high pitched, stifled cry, half sob, half sigh broke from the woman's throat. "Rebecca." For a moment or an eternity, Charlie lay rigid in Rebecca's arms as the universe exploded through her body. Then she sank, boneless into Rebecca's arms. "Oh, God. Oh, love." Reverent, shattered, Charlie whispered in Rebecca's ear.
Her arms wrapped around the woman and she sighed herself, quite satisfied that she had pleased Charlie. "I love you." She whispered. "I will never love another like I love you."
Charlie was embarrassed. "I am sorry. I did not want to startle you or push you too much. It is just that every night I have held you and wanted you and....I love you so much, Rebecca." In a smaller voice, "I need you so much."
"Shhh……" She comforted her, gently stoking her back and combing fingers through hair that still needed to be cut. "I wanted this too, Charlie. I wanted to know if I could please you, make you happy. You have helped me understand a great deal tonight with your gentleness and your patience."
"Patience? You touch me and I explode like a rocket! It was unlike anything I have ever felt before, dear heart."
Rebecca worked her way from under Charlie and shifted until she was lying in Charlie’s arms, her head resting on her shoulder and her hand slowly tracing over her stomach. "I just needed to know I could please you. That I would be enough for you." She did not quite know how to explain her feelings. She cuddled closer, feeling Charlie’s arms tighten around her. "I felt like such a failure in my marriage. My husband did not desire me. He did not love me and I never pleased him." She fought hard against the tears that wanted to spill.
Charlie hugged her close when she felt rather than heard the sob Rebecca choked back. "Mr. Gaines was a fool. You are amazing, dear woman. Your compassion, kindness and ability to give of yourself in these uncertain times when it would be easy to turn your back on all those around you is astounding."
"I think you are biased."
"I, my dear, am very biased. You are beautiful and I desire you very deeply. Your touch excites me, your kisses set me on fire and now I find that I have not the strength to resist you even for a moment when you hold me and want me."
"I will admit that I was confused and unsure of it all. But when I opened my eyes and you were there, everything became so clear. I realized that I could never find what I have with you with anyone else. I intend to hold onto you forever."
"I will be yours for the rest of my life, dear. But what confused you, love?"
"All of it. You were here and so charming, wonderful and kind. You were what I dreamed of for a life and a home. But, Charlie, you have to admit that ours is not a conventional relationship. I had to know and understand that. That everything I wondered about just did not matter in the whole thing. I love you; it matters
not to me that you are a woman under your disguise. But I had to find that. I had to understand that it just does not matter to me."
"What convinced you, darling? I have always thought that because I was not what I seemed, that I was something that our society reviles, I thought I would spend my life alone. You are, to me, a miracle."
She sighed and pulled herself up to look into Charlie’s eyes. "I cannot tell you what it was. Maybe it was your kindness, your tenderness, your fierce loyalty to service and duty." She shook her head. "I do not know, all I do know is whatever it was, I have fallen head over heels for you. I cannot wait for our life to really begin together. I will be proud to take your name and call myself your wife."
"And my gender? What of that, dear? You know there are things that I can never give you, things that most men do not even have to think twice about."
"I assume, dear Charlie, you are speaking of children? You should know that if we want them bad enough and are faithful, one way or the other we will be blessed with children. But if having children should never come to pass, I will still happily live my life with you. You are my family now, Charlie. All that I have. All that I want."
"Rebecca, my love. You are the family, the love I dreamed of and thought I could never have. You are the miracle in my life."
"Then it seems that we have everything we need, Charlie." She giggled and poked her in the ribs. "Maybe one of these days I will even live down the stigma of having married a Yankee."
Charlie rolled over onto her back and covered her eyes with her hand. "Ah, the shame of it all."
Rebecca chuckled and pulled Charlie’s hand from her eyes. "I am sure I will survive it."
Charlie rolled onto her side so she could look directly at Rebecca. "Are you really? You know, it could get unpleasant." She stroked Rebecca's cheek. "I do not ever want to cause any unpleasantness for you."
The blonde ran her hand down Charlie’s arm. "My dear, I have survived a war. Nothing can be as unpleasant as that. I believe our life together will be wonderful."
The gentle stroke raised goose bumps on Charlie's skin. Her voice became husky again. "What of you, dear heart? As much pleasure as your touch brings me, I would also love to give you that pleasure."