by T. Novan
"Papa?"
Rebecca looked up to find Em standing in the doorway. She went over and scooped the little girl up. "What are you doing here sweetheart and where is your Mama?"
"Mama sweep. Em want Papa."
"Oh, honey, I do not think right now is a good time to disturb Papa. Let us go down and have some apple slices."
"Apple!" Em bounced around in Rebecca’s arms.
"Yes, ma’am."
She carried the baby down stairs, meeting Elizabeth at the bottom. "Good afternoon, Rebecca."
"Good afternoon. Care to join Em and I for some tea and apples?"
"I would love to. I have finished my rounds. Tell me what happened just a little bit ago."
"One of the troopers got into a fight with Duncan. Apparently he had some unkind things to say about Charlie and I and Duncan took him to task over it."
"Oh dear," Elizabeth looked down the hall at Charlie’s office. "Give me a few minutes and then you and Em come join me in Charlie’s office."
"Do you think that is all right?"
"It will be more than all right. And very necessary." Elizabeth turned on her heel and went to Charlie’s office, knocking on the door.
"Come."
Elizabeth entered the office and closed the door behind her. "I knew it," she said as she crossed the room and settled into a chair.
Charlie was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He looked up sourly, "What?"
"That you would be in here brooding."
"Well, what would you have done? I had rebellion in the ranks. I tried the nice way. It did not work. How many more men believe what those do and do not have the guts to say so?"
"I know, Charlie, trust me. This must be very difficult, but sitting here brooding over it is not going to help. You and Richard are very good commanders. You will handle it, I am sure."
"And to have them use Rebecca as the excuse. I made her a target and they took the shot. So how much of this really is my fault?"
"You made her a target? Did she not ask for your protection?"
"Damn it, Elizabeth. I could have offered her my protection without sleeping in her bed."
She smirked at her friend. "No you could not. Charlie, I love you. We have been friends a long time and I am very fond of Rebecca. I think she suites you, but Charlie she did this to herself by inviting you into her bed."
"Are you saying that little……" Charlie bit back what he was going to say "was justified in calling Rebecca a whore?"
"No, I am not saying that at all. No one has that right. But the simple fact is, people think you two are carrying on a torrid affair and as a result people have formed opinions about a widowed woman who is apparently giving her body to the Yankee Colonel."
"So which one of us is worse - the traitorous southern woman or the devil Yankee colonel? And God help me, I am more than eager to make her an honest woman. You know that, Elizabeth."
She chuckled again. "Charlie, Rebecca is an honest woman, a good woman. And you are no more a devil than Mr. Whitman," She paused and rethought that with a smile. "All right, you are no more a devil than I am. This war has caused many hard feelings, Charlie, and you have to know your men are tired and are going to lash out. I think the plans you have for the winter festival are wonderful and will go a long way to boosting morale. Remember, Charlie, these men miss their wives and children and sweethearts and they see you up here with Rebecca and you seem so happy. They must resent that."
Charlie closed his eyes and then buried his head in his hands again. If they knew. If they only knew what I go through to keep them clothed and fed, to get them the care they need when they are sick. They are like my children. When they face the enemy and die, cut down like cattle. When I have to write their parents, their wives. When I see them lying in the infirmary missing an arm or leg.
"Elizabeth. I cannot do this any more. When the cease fire is declared, I will muster out as quickly as I can."
"Charlie, I know this has been hard on you. I know you are happy here with Rebecca and looking forward to coming back and starting a life with her. I want that for you both, I want you both to be happy, but you must know that there are people in the community who feel exactly as some of those men. They are not going away and chances are they are going to be more verbal about it. You cannot come to your office and brood every time. You will sink into despair and I assure you Rebecca will grow tired of it. You have to be prepared to be strong and make a stand."
"I know you are right, Elizabeth. But, damn it all! It feels like I have had people hating me all my life." In a much sadder voice, a lost voice, he added. "What is wrong with me, Elizabeth?"
"My dear friend, there is nothing wrong with you. Do Richard or Jocko hate you?"
"No." Sullenly.
"Do Whitman or I hate you?"
"No."
"Does Rebecca Gaines hate you?" She gave her friend a grin and a wink.
"No." Charlie got a wry look on his face. "You are trying to back me into a corner."
"Not at all. I am just pointing out that there are people who love and care about you. And save Richard, all the rest of us know exactly who you are, Charlie, and not one of us hates you for it or anything else. Moreover, one of us loves you because of it. I hate to break this to you, my friend, but if you were truly a man, I do not think you would have had such good fortune with Rebecca."
Charlie looked at Elizabeth with vast confusion. She had just put forth an idea that had never occurred to the good colonel.
"I mean, I gather from things that have been said, that she was treated badly, true?"
"Yes." Charlie spoke slowly, his mind working overtime to try and process what Elizabeth was suggesting. "She was abused terribly."
"By her husband, a man in every sense of the word. She told me what kind of life she had with him. That he all but raped her when he wanted to. She has never known tenderness from a man. I think if you had been male, she would have been far more skittish. Tell me Charlie, did she invite you to share her bed, before or after she found out?"
"After." Charlie looked wary. This was a perspective that he had never even begun to consider.
"I will bet you a month’s pay that if you had been a man in every sense of the word, you would still be sleeping in your tent. Rebecca loves you because you are a woman. In every sense of the word."
Charlie slumped back in his chair, his mouth literally hanging open. Scenes were running through his head, scenes of the two of them together, of Rebecca telling Charlie how beautiful she was, how important her tenderness was.
"Charlie Redmond speechless? My, my I will have to write this down in my journal."
Charlie looked up at Elizabeth. "So you think she really wants me?"
Elizabeth smiled. "That is easy, Charlie. Yes. I know she does. Anyone who looks at her can see that."
"But... I mean. The first time we had dinner. She challenged me to convince her. She wanted me to be a gentleman. She treats me like a gentleman. She wants to be my wife."
"She is a very bright woman, Charlie. She knows you will have to continue to be a man to the outside world and she is adapting to that so that she will not accidentally reveal your secret. But when you are alone and especially when you are alone in your bedroom, what are you there?"
Very slowly a smile of extraordinary serenity spread over Charlie's features. "That is the only time when I am a woman. I am just me."
"Right, and has Rebecca turned away or been repulsed when you are ‘‘just you’?"
A blush rose up Charlie's cheeks. He was remembering her desire to touch and please him, to learn that she could please him. "Apparently not."
"Indeed. So, my dear friend, get rid of the gloom and doom and prepare to get on with your life with this wonderful woman."
There was a well-timed knock on the door. Charlie was grateful because he could tell Elizabeth was about to go off on a rant.
"Come in." He grinned at Elizabeth. She had a habit of reading him riot
acts when he got too morose. Avoiding them was always a good thing.
The door opened and Em bolted in, running as fast as her little legs would carry her to Charlie. "Papa!" She screamed as she giggled and flung herself at him.
Rebecca carried the tray in, trying not to laugh.
Elizabeth smiled at her friend. "Does she hate you, Charlie?"
Charlie looked at his friend and shook his head, while coping with a small, dark haired, blue-eyed monkey who was rapidly climbing his body. "Elizabeth, you are a terrible manipulator. Em, do not chew on Papa's buttons." Charlie tried to rescue his uniform from her ever-inquisitive hands and mouth.
Rebecca laughed as she poured tea for all of them. "She’s teething, Charlie. What do you expect?"
"Papa good."
"I swear, I am going to soak a piece of rawhide in honey to give her something to chew on that does not involve my brass buttons. My expensive brass buttons."
When Charlie raised his voice, Em’s movement stopped and her lower lip poked out as tears formed in her eyes. "Papa?" She choked out.
"What is it, little one? You are a good girl, a very good girl. Just do not chew on my buttons." He smiled at her and reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of soft undyed leather that he had picked up to work into a braided hair piece for Rebecca. He could get more where that came from. "Here, little one. If your teeth are hurting, you can chew on this."
She took the leather and turned it over in her hands then offered it to Charlie. "Papa bite?"
Elizabeth was doing her best to hide the smile on her face but failing. Rebecca handed her a cup of tea then placed one in front of Charlie.
Very seriously, Charlie folded the strip of leather in half long ways and took a solid bite in it, leaving very clear indentations in the leather.
Rebecca laughed and relieved Charlie of Em. "Papa’s silly?"
Em straightened in Rebecca’s arms and gave her a very serious look as she grasped her leather in her hand. "Papa good."
Charlie laughed. "Well, ladies, do you believe the youngest member of your sorority or have I managed to totally demean myself in your eyes with my little display of temper?"
Elizabeth chuckled. "You know how I feel, Charlie."
Rebecca leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "And I think you are good, too."
Em simply refused to remain with Rebecca. "Papa hold Em." She reached for him.
"Demanding, are you, little one?" Charlie shifted to accommodate the little girl. "I suppose it is all right. Aunt Rebecca's had you for hours." Charlie sipped his tea, then lowered the cup and held it for Emily to taste. She preferred her tea with lots of milk and a little honey. His was too dark and bitter for her. She made a nasty face, and then started chewing on her piece of leather.
Rebecca settled down in a chair next to Elizabeth. "Charlie, Duncan is not in a lot of trouble, is he?"
"No, dear. In some ways, he is something of a hero. Most of the men are pleased that their usually anti-social colonel has found a lady and clearly wooed and won her. A sign of masculinity, I believe. Duncan did exactly what at least half of them would do; he stood up for his commander's lady. And, you must realize he sees his 'punishment' as more of a reward." Charlie absently picked up a piece of apple and offered it to Em while he spoke.
The baby took the apple and sucked on it making a long, happy humming sound. Rebecca smiled at the picture of Charlie with the baby. "Well, I am glad he is not in serious trouble. I would have felt bad if he had been. Duncan’s a sweet boy."
"Duncan is a grown man, with a rather serious crush on you, my dear. Step gently with him, please."
Rebecca blushed. "Oh, Charlie, you are being silly. Duncan is just a boy."
"Rebecca, dear, Duncan is twenty five years old and has served in this regiment since the beginning of the war. He has been wounded in battle three times and has won multiple commendations for bravery. He is most decidedly a man, a very gentle, caring man. I have only held him back because of the degree of damage he took at the Wilderness."
"All right, I get your point, Charlie. I promise to be good. He reminds me a bit of Andrew."
"Actually, dear, I am more concerned about you hurting him than anything else."
"Hurt him? Charlie I would never hurt him."
Charlie looked to Elizabeth for help. Rebecca just did not understand what Charlie was trying to tell her.
"You brought it up, Charlie." Elizabeth giggled.
Charlie groaned, and provided Em with a piece of cheese to crumble on his coat. "If you look at him as a boy, you are liable to treat him more casually than if you see him as a man. He may mistake casualness for intimacy and invitation and believe he means more to you than he does. It would be painful for him to get his hopes up and have them dashed."
"Charlie, Duncan is well aware that you and I are engaged. But I promise you, my dear, to be very careful with him."
"Thank you, love." Another piece of apple was provided to the small child in his lap, and the combined apple juice and childish drool mixed with the cheese crumbs on his tunic to make a pleasantly gooey paste that fascinated Em. She proceeded to use it to draw random shapes on Charlie's chest.
Rebecca just shook her head and Elizabeth stood. "If you will excuse me, I need to go check Montgomery. Things are looking much better on that front, Charlie. I think we will see him open his eyes in a day or two."
"I do hope so. Having him come around, both physically and attitudinally will do much to resolve the problems we have been having with morale." Emily continued to use the mixed cheese crumbs and masticated apple to decorate Charlie's jacket. The normally immaculate Charlie did not even seem to notice.
"We will make him better, Charlie." She waved at Em, who was now trying to put her mush-covered fingers in Charlie’s mouth.
"Papa bite."
Charlie let the child slip the decidedly questionable cheese and apple goo into his mouth, sucking gently before he let her fingers go. "More apple, Em? I know you are doing your best. Both of you are doing your best with him. I do appreciate it."
Elizabeth could not stand it any longer. "Charlie, you do realize you are being covered in mashed apples and cheese?"
Charlie looked up at her. "Yes. I believe that is rather normal behavior for a young child. Jocko has been giving me these long suffering looks for what she does to my uniforms, but I really have not found an alternative."
The doctor looked accusingly at Rebecca. "You do realize that this is because of you. Before he met you, he would not have let a child within fifty feet of his uniform."
Rebecca smiled and shrugged. "There have been lots of interesting changes since Charlie got here."
Em shook her head and cuddled into the crook of Charlie’s arm.
"Nap time, little one?"
Em shook her head and burrowed deeper into Charlie’s shoulder.
Charlie took his large handkerchief out of his pocket and cleaned up the little girl’s face and hands. "Cuddle up, little one. I will keep you safe and when you are asleep, I will carry you up to bed." He looked at the two women in his office and smiled serenely.
WARNING! The following chapter contains reference to a very aggressive rape that occurred in the past. It also contains scenes of intense sexual intimacy between two woman.
Chapter 17
Wednesday, D ecember 14, 1864
Whitman settled into his chair at Major Montgomery’s bedside. It was late and he had volunteered to sit with him through the night to give Samuelson a much needed break.
Adjusting the lamp so he would have enough light, he took a sip of his tea and began working on his newest poem. As he composed careful lines, he heard Montgomery groan. Setting his pad aside, he moved to the edge of the bed.
"Major?"
He groaned again and his eyes opened. He looked confused and in a great deal of pain.
"Good to see you sir. Let me go get Dr. Walker."
He took the lamp to make his way across the hall to Eliza
beth’s room. He knocked on the door then pushed it open just slightly, without going in. "Doctor, the Major is coming to."
Elizabeth woke quickly, sitting up and rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Come in, Whitman."
He pushed the door open further and entered the room. "Montgomery is coming to."
"Excellent." She got up and pulled on her robe. "Let us go see the gentleman."
Returning to the room, Whitman stood back and watched as Elizabeth worked with her patient. "Should I wake Colonel Redmond?"
"Actually, yes, I think he will want to know this."
He excused himself then went to their room, knocking firmly on the door. After a moment, Rebecca opened the door. "Yes?"
"Miss Rebecca, Dr. Walker sent me. Major Montgomery is coming to. She thought the Colonel would like to know."
"Of course, we will be right there." She nodded to him and closed the door. Then she went to the bed and gently shook Charlie’s shoulder.
Charlie rolled over from her pillow and slowly opened her eyes. "Yes? What is wrong, sweetheart?"
"Nothing. Dr. Walker sent word. The Major is coming around."
"Wonderful." Charlie got up right away and pulled on his robe. "Let us go."
Entering Montgomery’s room, they watched as Dr. Walker tenderly took care of her patient. "How is he, Doctor?" Charlie asked, stepping forward.
"Well, come see for yourself."
Charlie got closer, looking down on his officer. Montgomery’s eyes slowly tracked to Charlie. The colonel smiled. "Good to have you back."
The man did not speak. He just closed his eyes. Elizabeth tucked the blanket around him and stood up, taking Charlie by the arm, away from the bed. "It is going to take time."
"Elizabeth, how aware do you think he is now?"
"It is hard to say, Charlie, but I believe he understands what is being said. That was apparent when he gripped Rebecca’s hand the other day. I am sure at this moment he is confused and in a lot of pain, but the fact that he is responsive is a very good sign."
"I want to make sure that all he hears from now on are southern accents. Not just you and Rebecca, but find everyone with a southern accent, male and female, and pull them in to sit with him."