by T. Novan
Pleased to have met such a dedicated officer, yet discouraged by what little Meigs could do to help with his particular problems, Charlie returned to his room at the Willard as the night watch cried midnight. It would be a long morning dealing with the clerks in the Quartermaster’s office.
--*--
Em had been grumpy all day. Her papa was not there to play with. Dinner was abysmal. If Charlie was not there to feed her, she did not want to eat. Bedtime was purgatory. All Em could do was sob and call for Papa.
Finally, she fell asleep. Rebecca kissed Em goodnight, pulling a blanket over the sleeping baby's shoulders. "Sleep well, little one. Papa will be home in a few days."
Rebecca stoked the fire in her room to keep it warmer through the night now that she was sharing a room with Em. Constance could no longer care for her child, having barely enough strength to eat the soup Beulah was constantly providing to the young woman.
As Rebecca climbed into bed, her thoughts were a jumble, missing Charlie and knowing in her heart that Constance was not going to survive. She wanted to speak with the young woman, but was not sure how to broach the what was on her mind. It seemed more than rude to ask her permission to look after Em. For Rebecca felt almost like the angel of death, waiting for Constance to pass.
She rolled over and pulled Charlie's pillow into her arms, realizing that tomorrow she would have to speak with Constance. Things would simply have to be put in order; surely Constance would understand and appreciate her concern.
She rolled over again and stared into the fireplace thinking about all the things that had to be accomplished before Charlie left for the spring campaign. The most important thing, of course, was their wedding, which was coming closer every day. Rebecca was terrified they would not be able to provide a wedding worthy of Charlie and his position.
The ladies of the community were very reassuring and very good about letting Rebecca fret. They actually found her quite amusing. She, on the other hand, was becoming the epitome of the nervous bride-to-be.
She had been nervous on her wedding day to Gaines, but for entirely different reasons. Her nervousness with Gaines had been generated by fear. With Charlie, it was because of the love she felt. She decided she definitely preferred the feelings marrying Charlie evoked.
When she drifted into sleep it was restless; she was continually searching for Charlie. His absence was having a severe impact on her ability to sleep. Then the dream started; Charlie's lips tenderly kissing her neck. She groaned and threw the covers off to try and cool her body, which was quickly becoming overheated.
Chapter 24
Wednesday, January 4, 1865
Charlie’s first stop on that cold morning was with his attorney to draw up a new will. Then he headed off to the bank to add Rebecca to his accounts and to set up her own trust fund. He was surprised, and quite pleased, to discover he was a far more wealthy man than he had thought. The balance was several hundred thousand dollars, due to some very astute investments his banker had made. On every payday for almost twenty years, he had placed funds in the hands of the bank’s investment and estate planners, and they had done a fine job for him. He was, by all social conventions and measure, a very wealthy man.
From there, he went to the office of the Paymaster of the Army. He spent a very long time working with the Army’s clerical staff arranging for Rebecca to receive his pension in the event of his untimely demise, as the terms of the benefits contract stated.
Having completed his legal tasks, he set off to the haberdashery on G Street with Rebecca’s list clutched in his hand. Walking into the store and looking around was a rather intimidating experience for the usually self-effacing General. It was a world that was very definitely feminine, filled with bolts of fabric in all weights, materials, and colors, with great racks of buttons, pre-made bows, rolls of lace, threads of more colors than any rainbow ever contained. There were forms that could be adjusted to emulate the exact body structure of a woman. All of this was flanked with acres of hat forms, feathers, ribbons, and things for which Charlie simply could not identify.
Charlie looked at the list in his hand and at the bewildering array in front of him and realized he needed help…… lots of help.
He turned around and marched out of the building. The jeweler would be much easier. Rounding the corner, he went into the discreet and elegant shop a few doors down from the haberdashers’. The shop owner looked at the dapper General and recognized a gentleman of taste. The two gentlemen talked quietly, and then Charlie looked at some stones and settings. Within about thirty minutes, they had reached a satisfactory agreement. Charlie arranged to return the following afternoon to pick up three rings –– two for Rebecca and one for himself.
Charlie took himself back to the Willard for a glass of beer in the lobby. It had become a tradition in town that all gentlemen of substance met in that large lobby at around 4:00 every afternoon for a glass of beer. Mr. Lincoln walked over from the White House, along with his command officers and advisors. Anyone who wanted to see the President made a point of being there to join him. Charlie wanted to have a final word with the Quartermaster General, and meeting at the Willard during the afternoon gentlemen’s constitutional was much easier than trying to get another appointment. Unfortunately, General Meigs did not show up. Charlie politely saluted his Commander-In-Chief, who had a couple of kind words for him, finished his beer, then went upstairs to don eveningwear. He had a mission –– to acquire knowledgeable feminine support when he went back to the haberdashery on G Street the next day.
His evening would be spent convincing Lizzie to help.
--*--
Rebecca paused outside the door of Constance's room, with the breakfast tray. She decided she would see how the young woman was feeling before bringing up the unpleasant business at hand.
Entering quietly, so as not to disturb Constance if she was resting, she was surprised to see her sitting up in a chair looking out of the window.
"Good morning dear, it is good to see you up and about."
"Good morning, Rebecca. It is a lovely morning, is it not? I think the view from your back windows, out over the fields, with the mountains in the mist, is one of the most peaceful sights I have ever seen."
There was a strange quality to Constance’s visage. She was pale and frail, except for the swelling of her belly, but there was clarity and a peace Rebecca had never seen on anyone’s face before.
"Yes, I love it here. It is a beautiful place." She sat the tray on the small table then moved it in front of the young woman. "I am fortunate that I will be able to remain here. So many others have lost so much."
"But you have chosen to share it with us, and for that I am very grateful. You have given me more than I can ever express thanks for. You have given me peace at a time when I thought I would never experience it again. And you have given me a vision for my future and my childrens’ future that I am very happy with."
"I am glad. You know you are welcome to remain here for as long as you like. Charlie and I have fallen in love with Em and we would miss her terribly."
"I am glad that you have. For I am thinking that the reward of bringing this little one into the world," she patted her belly, "will be for me to rejoin my darling Henry. If God does grant me that dearest gift, I hope you and the General will raise my children as loving, devout and honorable people."
"Constance, I know you are not feeling well, but there is always hope."
Constance looked at Rebecca and smiled gently. "My dear, you really do not understand. Without Henry, my life is a torment of pain and aching loss. This child is just a small part of that. More than anything, I am without the other half of my soul. The hope, for me, is to be with Henry again. With you and Charlie to look after my children, I can go to him with no regrets, for I know they will have a far better life than I could ever give them now. They will be loved, cared for, and raised as your own. So yes, I have hope. I have hope that this pain, this empty aching that plagues
me day and night, will be eased."
Rebecca fought hard not to cry. She blinked away the tears that filled her eyes and took Constance's hand. "I promise you, with my heart and soul, that if you should join your dear Henry, Charlie and I shall give the children the best upbringing possible. But I have a request of you."
"What is that, dear Rebecca?"
"I would ask you to write a letter to each of the children, telling them of yourself and of Henry. Then when they are older and the time is right, I will see to it they are given the letters. While Charlie and I will love and raise them as our own, I believe it will be important for them to know they had parents who loved and cared for them."
"Of course, and Rebecca, you and Charlie are their parents as much as I ever was. For this little one, I believe you will be far more of a parent than I ever could be, even if I survive. I would request that if the price of this child coming into the world is that I pass on, you raise him or her as your own, as if the child were born of your body, not mine."
"As you wish. I promise."
"Rebecca, you are not understanding, are you?"
She shook her head. "Apparently not."
"Think about how you feel with Charlie. What if Charlie was never coming back? How would you feel?
"I have been trying not to think of that very thing lately. I would be devastated."
"Think of what I have lost, dear. My beloved husband, the other half of my soul, my home, my family. Think of how you would feel if Charlie were killed. All I have left is Em and the child of my rapists. The child will come into the world, and I will pass out of it. As far as I can tell, God decided to keep me around for a while so the children would have the home and family and love they deserved. Otherwise, I should have died the night that Montgomery and his men visited. So know, as I know, Charlie will survive. He is meant to be the father to these children."
With those words came the end of Rebecca's control. Tears flowed from her eyes as she stood and gave Constance a gentle hug. "We will love them and raise them as you and Henry would have. We will give them a good life."
--*--
Jocko whistled as he rode up to the little house on the edge of the little village of Alanthus. He was looking forward to calling on the lovely Esther White. After that first visit with Charlie when she had approached him to ask for help, he had called on her a number of times. In fact, he visited her whenever he could get a day off, which lately had not been very often. If he left just after morning chores, he made it to her house by late morning, could spend time and have lunch and tea, then return to the farm in good time. He was looking forward to lunch today, as she was a dedicated and skilled cook.
There was a thin trail of smoke coming from one of the two chimneys in her small cottage. In this weather, she should have had both fireplaces going. Jocko looked around, concerned that perhaps she was conserving firewood since he had not checked her woodshed in several days. As he rode by, he looked. There was plenty of wood in the shed.
He got to the door and tethered his mount to the fence railing. Usually, by now she would be at the door to greet him. He hurried to the door and knocked. A faint voice answered him.
She sat huddled beside the single fire, staring listlessly into the flickering flames. She had been beaten. Her hands shook. Her eyes were dull with pain and shame. Her clothing was ripped. To Jocko’s war hardened eyes, it was obvious. She had been raped.
His first reaction was anger, which he quickly swallowed. She needed his gentleness now, not his anger.
"Esther, dear, it is Jocko."
"Go away." She did not turn to look at him. "I cannot see you any more."
"Esther. Who did this to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Esther, who beat you?" He took a deep breath and asked the obvious question. "Who raped you?"
She laughed without humor. "One of the men who came out here to fill our wood sheds. Davison, I think his name was. He had two friends. This is what I get for letting you Yankees take care of me. They came back, they said, to collect for the work they had done."
"Davison." Jocko clenched his fists. The name fell into the void between them. "Esther, General Redmond expelled him from the army about a month ago and sent him home. He is no longer a soldier. We thought he had left the area. All we can do now is to find him, arrest him, and deal with him. But first, my dear, I need to get you to a doctor."
"No. Leave me."
"Esther, I cannot leave you. I love you." Jocko said the words without thinking. He had never said them to a woman in his life, except for his mother. Yet he knew they were true as he heard them leave his mouth. "Let me take you to Dr. Walker. She will help, I promise."
Esther White nodded numbly. She moved like a puppet as he scurried around collecting a change of clothes and some other odds and ends, banked the fire, and then wrapped her in a warm quilt and carried her outside. Gently he lifted her up into the saddle and pulled himself up behind her. Carrying her battered body in his arms, he set out for what he was beginning to think of as home.
--*--
Charlie walked up the steps to Lizzie Armstrong's Capitol Hill mansion at the socially unacceptable hour of 7:00 pm. He hoped to catch her before the evening's festivities started and convince her to assist him in braving the unknown world of feminine finery. Tucking his hat under his arm, he knocked on the door.
A very proper butler responded with a superior look on his face. No one who was anyone would knock on the door this early.
"Good evening, Sir. Whom may I say is calling?"
"Good evening. Would you please tell Mrs. Armstrong that Charlie Redmond would appreciate a moment of her time?"
The butler left Charlie standing in the hall, waiting, instead of showing him to a parlor.
Lizzie came down the steps, not even trying to hide the smile on her face at the appearance of her favorite companion. "General Redmond, you dear man." She took the last two steps to the landing and threw her arms around Charlie, bestowing on him a passionate kiss. "I heard of your promotion. Congratulations."
"Uh..." Charlie was captured in the woman’s arms, yet struggled gently to disengage her embrace. "Lizzie, I need your help, and you and I really need to talk. I have some news..."
"Oh, I am sure you do. It has been months, Charlie. Come on upstairs, we can talk up there."
"Can we go to your parlor, Lizzie?"
"The parlor? A bit public for your usual tastes." She chuckled and took his arm.
"Lizzie, dear friend. Perhaps you had better hear my news before we go any farther."
The woman sighed and smiled. She knew her General was an odd bird at times. Taking his hand, she walked to the parlor. "All right Charlie, what is your news? Let me guess, you have decided after the war to come back here, sweep me off my feet and take me away from all this."
Charlie had the grace to blush. "Actually, Lizzie, I have met someone."
"Oh." She tried to mask her disappointment. Over the years, as she had come to know Charlie, she had come to care for him very much, if not love him more than a little. "I see. Congratulations."
"I wanted to tell you personally, dear friend, because if you had not taken me in hand, I would never have had the courage to find my mate. I owe you a greater debt than I can ever repay."
"Well, I am happy for you, General." She took a seat on the davenport and tried to give him a sincere smile. "She is a very lucky lady."
Charlie looked at Lizzie. He knew that something was wrong, but had no idea what it was. "So, my dear friend, something seems to be bothering you. Can I help?"
"No, Charlie. I must admit this is a bit of a surprise." She patted the sofa. "Come sit and tell me of your lady." She got up and moved to a small brandy cabinet. "Your usual?"
"Yes, thank you. Lizzie, her name is Rebecca, and she has a horse farm down in Culpeper. She is the most delightfully spunky woman I have ever met, courageous, strong, sure of herself - and so kind and gentle."
Lizzie poured
the drink, trying to gain control of her emotions. It would not do for a woman in her position to show concern over this. Picking up two glasses she settled back down next to Charlie, handing him one of the glasses. "Well, now she sounds like she has completely captured your heart, Charlie."
"She has, Lizzie, she has," he paused, "she knows, you know. She wants…… me."
The woman smiled and took Charlie's hand. "I am glad, dear Charlie, truly glad. I am sure she is a special lady. You know, though, if you ever find yourself wanting, I will always be here for you."
Something in Lizzie's voice caught Charlie's attention. "Lizzie?" He looked into her eyes. "What is wrong, Lizzie."
She looked away for a moment then looked back. "I suppose now is as good a time to confess as any. I have always been just a little in love with you, Charlie. I know a woman such as myself could never be a proper wife to someone of your standing. But there were nights, after you had been here, that I would lie wake and wonder about you and harbor just a little bit of a dream."
"Why, Lizzie? Why did you stay quiet?"
"Charlie, look at what I am. I could never have gotten past this. I am a lovely distraction, a convenience. I am not the type of woman a man would make his wife."
"I am not the type of man a woman would make as her husband. We could have talked about it. I am truly sorry."
"You had no way of knowing. But you have found someone and I am happy for you."
"Thank you, my dear. You know if there is anything you ever need, you have only to call on me."
"Oh no, Charlie. It would not do for me to come into contact with this lady of yours. I doubt she would appreciate me as much as you do."
"Rebecca would understand my giving assistance to nyone who is my friend. I have told her a little about you, you know."
"Oh, Charles Redmond, you have not!"
"She asked me what I had done for companionship. I told her. I also told her how kind and what a good friend you are."