We weren’t ready, but I quickly ordered the New York steak and Spencer ordered the chicken marsala with no onions.
It took everything in me not to grab her phone and hide it from her as it sat on the table next to her water. I knew she had it there just in case there was an emergency with Kyle. I’d bet money she’d grab it again before our entrees arrived.
“Are you going to want to go back to work in a month and a half?” I asked then took a sip of my beer.
Better Keep Jogging Baby was Spencer’s dream job, and when her boss gave me the opportunity to buy the company, I purchased it for Spencer as a wedding present. Since having Kyle, Becca had been running things for her. It was an online fitness company that did blogs, showed you workout routines, and had online personal trainers. Now that it was affiliated with Club 24, my members were able to work out at my locations as well as use the online services BKJB provided. With multiple Club 24 locations, we were on our way to becoming an empire in the fitness industry.
Spencer looked out the window. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“I was thinking that you could bring Kyle with you.”
Her face brightened for a split second and then she said, “I wouldn’t get any work done.”
“True.” I smiled, not wanting to push the issue more and suggest putting him in a daycare. “We can decide when it gets closer.”
She chuckled. “I could always use your home office as my office.”
I groaned inwardly and reached for my beer to stall my response. If she did use my home office, at least the panic room would be a few feet away. “You could, but not every day. You have employees and a company to run.”
She sighed and took a sip of her water. “How does Becca do it?”
Becca and Jason had a great nanny. I’d always thought we’d hire one and Spencer and I would return to our companies and build our empire. Now I felt as though I couldn’t trust anyone except our friends, and if that were the case, how could Spencer return to work?
“They have Marta. If you want, we could switch off days,” I suggested.
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” She laughed.
I raised an eyebrow. “Are you laughing because you don’t think I could take care of him all day?”
“What? No.”
“Then why are you laughing?”
The waiter came a dropped off our food and I repeated my question. The second time I asked, Spencer gave a tight smile as though she’d hoped that I’d forgotten my question or I’d switch subjects.
She sighed and cut her chicken. “Because I’m not sure I can go a day without Kyle.”
“Aw, babe,” I sighed. “Let’s focus on tonight first.”
She smiled and reached for her phone. “Sounds like a plan.”
*
By the time we finished eating, it had started raining. I was happy. This was what I wanted. Usually, I hated rain, but my master plan was working out. When we stepped outside and the cold drops hit us, I thought Spencer was going to complain. I was going to offer to run to the car so she wouldn’t have to run in the rain, but before I could, she started to sprint.
“Are you coming, babe?” she called over her shoulder.
I ran after her toward my Range Rover. It hadn’t been raining long. The sidewalk had a light mist of water on it, but by the time we made it to my car, the rain had started to pick up. I clicked the key fob and we slid inside.
“At least you’re not in a dress this time,” I said, referring to the jeans Spencer was wearing. She was in jeans, black boots, and a blue sweater.
“This is worse. My jeans will take longer to dry.”
“We’ll be home in fifteen minutes, and this time, you don’t have a nosy roommate to interrogate you.”
“This is true.” She laughed and reached for the heater after I started the car.
“Not gonna lie, I wish this night ended the same way, though.”
She turned her head toward me and our gazes locked. She didn’t respond, so I started to put the car in drive. She stopped me, placing her hand on mine that was on the gear shift.
“Spence?”
She looked around at the empty street. It was dark, only street lights illuminated the street. Was she thinking what I thought she was? It had felt like ages since we’d done more than cuddled and kissed each other.
“Turn off the car.”
She didn’t have to tell me twice.
She took her seatbelt off and I followed suit. This was really happening—again in my car. My dick started to ache at the anticipation of what was to come and I had to steady my breathing and remind myself that Spencer just had a baby. But if she was giving me the green light, then all bets were off because I was wound up and ready to fuck.
“No sex, but other things,” she said, confirming what I’d suspected.
I nodded and looked at my steering wheel. “You don’t want to go home first?”
She shook her head. “Not with Kyle home.”
I didn’t understand the logic, but I went with it and leaned my chair back as far as it would go. “Undo your pants and straddle me.”
As I undid my jeans, I remembered how on our first date we didn’t need instructions. We just went with it. Now it was as if we had to do things step by step because we knew what got the other off and we weren’t exploring each other anymore.
I missed the exploring. I missed the way my hands felt as I ran them along Spencer’s naked body. I missed the way she’d moan and would let me know when she liked a way I was touching her for the first time. I missed getting lost in each other without words. I missed her.
She started to come across the center console and I stopped her. “Fuck this. There isn’t enough room. You want to do things in the car, then fine. Get in the backseat.”
She stared at me for a beat and then grinned. “Okay.”
I opened my door and Spencer started to crawl into the back. When I opened the back door, she was taking off her jeans. I groaned at the sight and slid in, closing the door behind me.
“You sure about this?” I questioned. When I tried a week before, she’d turned me down.
“Yeah. Something about the rain.”
She bit her lip and I leaned down and kissed her hard. I was done asking for permission. She’d just given me the green light and I was taking it. No sex—got it. Like our first date, I was so horny for this woman, except this time we were both getting off.
I slid down onto the seat, my back fully laying down, my leg on the floor keeping me from falling as Spencer straddling me. She moaned into my mouth. Our kiss was intense as my hand went straight for Spencer’s pussy. She hissed when my hand caressed her panties against her cunt.
“This okay?”
“More,” she breathed.
As my hand continued caressing, her panties got wet and my dick hardened. I wanted so badly to fuck her. If this rendezvous worked out, then maybe we wouldn’t have to wait two more excruciating weeks.
Her hand slipped in my boxers and I held my breath. It felt like forever since she’d last touched me. The moment her fingers ran across the trimmed hairline that bordered just inside the lip of my boxers, teasing me, I groaned.
“Fuck, baby.”
“Yeah …” she breathed.
I rubbed harder then moved her wet panties aside, massaging her clit. She whimpered, moving her hips with the movement of my hand, and grabbed my shaft. It was awkward with my jeans and boxers in the way but I didn’t care. It wasn’t the first time I’d gotten a hand job with clothes on, and honestly, I wasn’t going to last much longer the way Spencer was stroking me.
Her hand moved up and down, twisting at the top and grabbing the pre-cum to lubricate my dick. Our mouths were still frantic, our hips rocking.
“Lift your sweater and let me taste your tits.”
She shook her head.
I didn’t question why she denied me but continued to rub her clit as I slowly inserted a finger into her pussy, testing how she’d
react. She didn’t and I inserted another, my thumb rubbing faster as my fingers pumped inside her.
I felt my orgasm building as her strokes quickened. I couldn’t see her face at the angle we were in, but the way her breathing kicked up was enough to make my balls ache. I was close. She was close. I rubbed. She pumped. She moaned and braced herself using her hand against the window, her pussy squeezing my fingers as her orgasm hit. Her body shook as the high tore through her and she gasped in pleasure.
“That’s it,” I said, letting her enjoy her moment even though her hand had stilled on my dick.
After she had come down from her high, I lifted my shirt, tugged my pants down and let her finish me off. Then I grabbed a gym towel and cleaned us up.
“We need to get home now,” she said.
“I know. You’re worried about Kyle.”
“Yes, but it’s not that. My boobs hurt like a bitch. I’ve never gone this long without breastfeeding.”
I grinned at her. “I can help with that.”
Chapter Seven
Spencer
Date night went better than I’d expected.
I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to be away from Kyle that long. I didn’t want to go at first, but once Ryan had a plan, there was nothing you could do to sway her. She’d said that Brandon and I needed the time alone together. I hadn’t realized that even though Max worked long hours, they had a date night once a week.
When Brandon and I first left the house, I was terrified that Kyle would cry the entire time we were gone. I feared he wouldn’t drink from the bottles I left in the fridge. I stressed our friends wouldn’t call us if something were to happen to him, and I was sad and scared to leave him even if it were for only a few hours.
My nerves were on edge and I was texting Ryan non-stop, only to have both her and Brandon more or less tell me to stop texting.
Ryan: Everything’s fine. He’s sleeping.
Ryan: It’s been 5 minutes. He’s fine.
Ryan: Everything’s okay. Are you paying attention to your husband?
Ryan: If you don’t stop texting me and fuck your husband’s brains out, I’m babysitting every night until you do!
I still hadn’t told Brandon, or anyone for that matter, how I was feeling toward Kyle. Some days were easier than others, but mostly I was overwhelmed with having to take care of a baby that wanted nothing to do with me and still balancing having to be a wife to Brandon. I tried to cook and clean. One day I caught myself washing the same pan for a good five minutes while I stared off into space because I couldn’t concentrate.
My thoughts were always racing, trying to understand what I was doing wrong as a mother. I thought that maybe something was wrong with Kyle and I was missing it. I thought that maybe I should tell Brandon, but I didn’t want him to judge me because, when he was with Kyle, he was the perfect father.
The answer was that I was the problem.
So I thought about leaving.
Until Brandon and I had our date. Ryan was right. Brandon and I needed our time alone—or at least the time in the car. I’d forgotten what it was like to be with Brandon. To really be with him and escape. To let him take me to that place where I could forget everything except the way he made me feel. It wasn’t about the orgasm. It was about forgetting the world around us and letting him take care of me.
He’d always taken care of me. I didn’t know why I wasn’t telling him what was going on with Kyle, but earlier in the evening he reminded me that I could let him know anything, so once we were lying in bed, I planned to confide in him.
*
Once we arrived home, we quickly said our goodbyes to our friends. The babies were all sleeping and everyone wanted to get home.
While Brandon walked everyone to their car, I went upstairs to check on Kyle, Niner on my heels. Kyle was sound asleep in his bassinet, his cute sheep that my mom gave him sitting next to him. I stared at him. He was okay. Going to dinner and doing stuff was okay.
“I’m going to shower,” Brandon said, coming up behind me.
“Okay.”
“You can join me.” He grinned.
I bit my lip anticipating what would happen under the warm water. “Okay.”
I grabbed the baby monitor and we went to take a shower.
*
“I know you’re probably tired, but I really need to tell you something,” Brandon said, a towel wrapped around his waist.
I was dressed, fresh from our shower and staring at Kyle again. I turned to him. “If it’s important, you can’t do it in that towel. I won’t be able to concentrate even if you did just make me come again.” I chuckled.
“I’ll put pajama bottoms on. And I think we should go downstairs.”
I blinked and tilted my head a little. “You’re scaring me.”
He reached for me and brought me to his body, engulfing me in a hug. “I just need to get something off my chest and I’m not sure how you’re going to react.”
I brought my head back to look at him in the eyes. “Babe …”
“Just trust me.”
“I do.”
“Then let’s go downstairs. It’s late and this needs to be discussed tonight.”
“Why?” I raised my eyebrows.
“You’ll understand once we talk.”
I broke free from his grasp and took a deep breath. “Okay. I need to talk to you, too.”
He gave me a tight smile and nodded as if he already knew what I needed to tell him.
How could he know, though?
*
I sat nervously on the couch staring at the baby monitor while Brandon grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Niner lay on the floor a few feet away. I kept repeating in my head that no matter what Brandon told me, I was going to tell him how I was feeling about myself and Kyle. I couldn’t keep living every day with my heart breaking the way it was. It felt as if my heart was cracking little by little, like an ice pick chipping away piece by piece, and soon it would be nothing more than a hole in my chest.
Brandon and I had a love that was strong and powerful. I was so in love with him, but how could he love me if the baby we created couldn’t love me?
“I feel like I need something stronger,” Brandon said, coming into the living room.
“I wish I could have something stronger, too.”
He sat next to me on the couch and turned toward me. “Who wants to go first?”
I shook my head and looked down at my lap. “You can.”
He took a deep breath and stared at the wall behind us. The air was deafening, and in the distance, I could hear the refrigerator humming. A part of me wanted Kyle to wake up and cry—to actually wake up and cry for once because this wasn’t like us. I wanted to run and hide and keep avoiding that Brandon, the man who was supposed to be my rock. We never had talks. We just talked. We never hid things from each other (that I knew of) and him being speechless had me on edge.
“I’m just going to come out and say it—like it’s a Band-Aid.”
Our gazes locked. “Okay because you’re scaring me.”
He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with mine, and sighed. “Tomorrow we’re getting a security system put in for the house.”
I scrunched my eyebrows. “Why?”
He sighed again. “I need to protect you and Kyle.”
I blinked at him and tried to break my hand from his to stand, but he wouldn’t let me move. “Why?” I questioned again. “Did something happen?”
“No.” He shook his head, closed his eyes and tilted his head to his lap as if he was thinking.
“Then what do you mean you need to protect us?”
He sighed and his thumb rubbed the back of my hand. He looked up at me again. “I’m worried that Michael might hire someone to kidnap Kyle or hurt you both.”
“No,” I whispered, my breath catching and my stomach hitting the floor. I thought that the nightmare of Christy and Michael was in the past because they were in jail. It never
crossed my mind that they could hire someone on the outside still.
“You don’t need to freak out,” he insisted.
“How can I not freak out?” I snapped, raising my voice. “The prison is only fifteen minutes away.”
“I’m getting everything I can installed for the house, even a panic room.”
I jerked my hand free so I could stand. “A panic room? Are you kidding me?”
“We can’t take any chances.” He turned and placed both feet on the floor but I backed up so he couldn’t reach me.
“How is this happening?” I started to pace the room, running my hands through my long brown hair.
“I don’t know. I don’t even know if I’m right.”
“But if you are?”
He hung his head. “Then we have to always look over our shoulder.”
I stopped pacing and stared at him. “How can I live like that? How can we live like that?” I asked, motioning between the two of us. “And Kyle? We have a child now!” A lump started to form in my throat at the thought of someone coming after our child.
“And that’s why I’m taking extra precautions now.”
“I can’t live like this, Brandon. I can’t go through it again.”
He stood and grabbed my wrist and we fell onto the couch, me sitting on his lap. “Hopefully we don’t have to. Maybe I’m wrong and this will all be for nothing.”
Tears started to stream down my face. “We’ll never know until it’s too late.”
“The house will be secure and we’ll have a panic room in case someone tries to break in or is after you.”
“What if I can’t protect Kyle? What if I’m not home?”
“You’ll be able to. I know you can. You fought off Christy and you outsmarted Michael—”
“He still kidnapped me.”
“But you survived. They aren’t looking to hurt us. They only want our money.”
Putting Christy, Michael and Matt in prison was supposed to be the end of our nightmare—at least until they were released, and then I figured they’d have learned their lesson.
“I’m not sure I can protect Kyle,” I admitted. I was finally going to tell Brandon how I was feeling. If Brandon was right, then he needed to know that I was on the verge of escaping and he might have to protect Kyle himself.
Down on Me (Club 24 #7) Page 5