by A. C. Arthur
She had the same complexion as Janelle, her black hair cut in a short and brash style he would not have associated with her. In fact, she looked bright and relaxed and happy, he thought. After all these years, she finally looked happy.
“She won’t have to move into the city. I purchased a house for us here,” he said, diverting his gaze from her to glance at his watch.
He didn’t want to be late, but he wasn’t certain he should be here at all.
Gina smiled, resting her palms on his chest after she’d finished the tie. “You bought a house so she wouldn’t have to leave her home.”
Ballard shrugged. “It made sense. I can drive in to work and I’ll still have the condo there in case we want to get away and spend some time in the city.”
“Because you want her to be happy and being here with her family and running her business makes her happy,” she continued.
Ballard thought about her words, heard the weight of them lingering in the room. “Yes. I want to make her happy.”
“That’s good,” she said, cupping his cheek with one hand. “That’s very good. Don’t lose sight of that goal, Ballard. Never stop wanting to make her happy.”
“I don’t plan to desert her for business like Dad did with you.”
Gina shook her head. “Don’t even think about that. There was so much more falling apart with your father and me. Anyway, I want you to have a better marriage, a happier union, with Janelle. Can you do that?”
Could he?
The New York offices would require a lot of his attention. He’d have to travel a lot in the upcoming months. Then there was the deal his grandfather had made with him. After today he would be named CEO of the company. That would take even more of his time because he would have to focus on doing a good job. Could he do that and be here with Janelle, attend some of her events to help when she needed it, take her away when they both needed a vacation?
Could he really be a husband to her?
Could he love her?
The questions continued as the knock on the door signaled his father and grandfather’s arrival. The two men who would be standing at the aisle with him as he took his vows. The reunion between Daniel and Gina was cordial and stiff, while his mother happily went into Hudson’s arms, hugging him as if she’d missed him most.
Ten minutes later Ballard was standing at the altar, looking out on all the guests who had come to this small town to see him marry Janelle Howerton. In the back he spotted two news crews, the only two that had been invited to attend. He and Janelle had decided it was better to grant a little access instead of having them all camp out hanging from the trees to get a picture. There would be more at the reception, which would take place in what used to be the horses’ stables on this multiacre property. Ballard stood tall, barely listening to the music playing in the background, hands clasped in front of him.
Vicki and Sandra walked down the aisle dressed in light gray dresses. Then the prettiest little girl came running down, dropping more tulip petals to the floor. Ballard wondered if one day he would have a little girl as cute as she or possibly as lovely as Janelle. He wondered about their future, about what they could both expect out of this arrangement.
It was an arrangement, wasn’t it?
Hadn’t that been what he’d proposed?
No, it was the logical solution—that was what he’d said to her. But as she made her appearance at the end of the aisle and began her descent, he wondered if that were enough, if that were fair to this woman whom he respected more than any other female he’d ever met.
She took steady steps, smiling at people she knew in the audience, getting closer to where he stood. Ballard unclenched his hands. She was beautiful in the colored dress, her complexion glowing in the contrast. He inhaled deeply. She was so close now he could smell her perfume. When she looked to his grandfather, her smile was bright and full. Then her gaze fell to his father, and her smile slipped. When she looked at Ballard, it disappeared completely.
And he knew.
This was a mistake. An awful mistake that he would have to compound just to fix.
Ballard took a step forward, hating the motion more than he hated himself at this moment. To his surprise, at the same time, Janelle took a step back, dropping her arm from her father’s.
“Janelle,” he said.
She shook her head.
The room was silent, the music droning on as everyone stared at them in question.
Ballard reached out his hand. “Come with me,” he said. “Please.”
“Ballard?” she whispered, her body poised to...to what? Run?
Ballard took the lead then, reaching for her hand and grabbing it in his. Then they were on the move, pushing past her father, her friends, heading toward the room where he’d gotten dressed only moments before.
Chapter 16
“I can’t do this,” was the first thing Ballard said when they were alone in the room, the door closed behind them. “I can’t marry you under these pretenses.”
She looked devastated as he said the words, taking steps that backed her up against a wall of shelves. He wanted to reach for her, to hold her in his arms, but something stopped him. Guilt, most likely.
“I was wrong to propose to you, Janelle, wrong to suggest that we make a logical agreement to spend the rest of our lives together. I’ve been so used to doing business all my life that I just treated our relationship like another business arrangement.”
Ballard turned away from her, the pain in his chest too great to continue looking at her as he spoke.
“I’ve always had a plan, always had specific steps that I took to get where I needed to be. It’s how I was raised, how I wanted my life to remain. Orderly, efficient, profitable—that’s what I wanted. That’s what I needed. Do you remember...” he said, turning around quickly in the hopes that she hadn’t left him standing in there alone. On a sigh of relief he continued, “Do you remember that first night at dinner when you looked at me in horror as I talked about my dating method? You were angered because to you it sounded callous and impersonal. And you know what? It was. It’s just taken me all these years to figure that out. No,” he added with another sigh. “It took you coming into my life for me to figure it out. For me to figure out a lot of things.” He rubbed his hands down his face, overwhelmed with everything moving inside of him at the moment. It felt like the tornadoes he watched on the Weather Channel, the huge funnel cloud touching down and wreaking all kinds of havoc and destruction—that was what his life had been like all these years and he hadn’t even realized it. Then the bright sunny day that always appeared after the destruction. Today could have been that sunny day. It could have been the start of his new life, his new beginning, if only he’d been selfish enough to go through with it.
“I did all this for me,” he told Janelle. “I proposed because I wanted you and I thought we should be together. I figured it was the most logical next step for us and I believed that with all my heart. On another level I think I proposed because my grandfather offered me the entire company if I married you.”
He paused then, looking at Janelle as she stood in her wedding gown, staring at the woman who had changed his life.
“Then I thought of your father,” he continued, “and how selfish it was of him to ask you to come to us for political support and I wanted to save you from him, from doing his bidding out of guilt. Then something happened, Janelle. Something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to explain.
“I went to Miami and broke Jack Trellier’s nose. I changed my will. I bought us a house here in Wintersage because I didn’t want you to leave your home. I tore up that infernal prenup because I wanted to give you everything I had, everything I was. I didn’t know why I was doing those things, not until the moment I saw you walking down that aisle,” he finished, looking across the roo
m to where she still stood, blinking rapidly, breathing in deep, out fast.
He moved closer to her then, not sure if she would run out of the room or just punch him.
“I’m an idiot, a selfish idiot who made a huge mistake and I don’t blame you if you hate me. I don’t blame you if you walk out of here today and never want to see me again.
“But before you do, Janelle, before you decide, I want you to know that I love you. I’ve loved you all this time and was too pigheaded and too blinded by my own stupid logic to just admit it. I’ve never loved another woman and I’m likely not to experience this again at the rate I’m going. But I do love you, with all that I am, not all that I wanted to be or aspired to achieve, all that I am in here,” he told her, tapping his hand over his chest.
When he was finished, when the weight from his shoulders had been lifted and he thought this moment would end with tears of happiness, or at least a modicum of compassion, there was only silence.
After another minute or so that stretched on like an hour—one of the most painful moments of his life—Ballard resigned himself to his fate.
“Whatever you do, don’t be angry with yourself. You did nothing wrong. This is in no way a reflection of you. I am at fault and I will shout it to the world that I am a fool. Be good to yourself, Janelle, and be happy,” he said before moving away from her, heading for the door.
His hand was on the handle when her voice stopped him.
“Ballard.”
* * *
“All my life everyone has shielded me.” Janelle began talking even while Ballard was still facing the door. “My parents, my brother. Even Sandra and Vicki tried to warn me about Jack, and after Jack they wanted me to date but only guys they approved. Everyone has to make decisions for Janelle, has to protect her. Protect me from what? From living my own life?”
She wasn’t going to yell. It wasn’t worth it. Was being embarrassed in front of two hundred people and the press worth it? she wondered.
“I knew exactly who you were when I first went out with you. Sure, my father asked me to get the political backing for him, but did you think I wasn’t smart enough to secure that and move on had that been what I really wanted to do? I’m not the naive, pathetic young girl Jack took advantage of. I’m a grown woman who knows what she wants in her life.”
She turned then, saw that Ballard had not left but was now facing her with his back to the door.
“I knew when you asked me to marry you that wasn’t the most romantic invitation. I knew you were looking at this union as something other than the love-filled relationship I’d always wanted.”
He stepped forward, about to speak, but she held up a hand.
“No. You had your turn,” she told him. “I knew all those things and I still agreed. I decided, Ballard—you did not convince me, nor did you persuade me. I decided to marry you because it was what I wanted. When Sandra and Vicki tried to talk me out of it, I told them this same thing. This is my life and I’m sick and tired of the people around me not believing I know how to live it.”
“I’m sorry,” he finally managed.
“Sorry for what? For going for what you wanted the way you always do? For pushing against my barriers and doing everything in your power to wake up the woman inside me that had been asleep for way too long? Or for being so pigheaded that you couldn’t even see when things had begun to change between us, that you couldn’t see when you’d begun to fall in love?”
The last was spoken quietly, her voice shaking a little as she said it. She’d hoped and she’d prayed that she was right, that his strange reaction to the prenup agreement had meant that he disagreed with yet another agreement between them. Those nights they made love, she’d wished for their physical communion to touch him on a deeper level, to open up the doors he didn’t even know he’d kept closed because of his parents’ failed marriage.
“I did all this,” she said, waving a hand around her, “because I love you, Ballard, because no matter what, I believed in what we had together. If it was going to take you a while to finally get a clue, I was willing to wait.”
“I shouldn’t have made you wait a second,” he said coming closer to her. “I was so foolish.”
She smiled over the tears clogging her throat. “A foolish hero—who would have ever thought those words could describe your personality? Thank you for dealing with Jack. I wish I could have been there to see his nose breaking, his face filling with blood, the pretty bastard.”
Ballard smiled then. He chuckled and reached for her this time, pulling her close to him and holding on tight.
“I love when you hold me like this,” Janelle whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close, as well. “It’s how I knew you had feelings for me, how I knew all your plans and logic were crumbling right before your eyes.”
“You’re one smart lady,” he whispered, pulling back far enough so he could kiss her. “One smart, sexy, enticing lady that I would be honored to have as my wife.”
Then Ballard did something totally unexpected that gripped her heart like a vise. He went down on one knee, holding her hands in his.
“Janelle Howerton, I love you with every breath that I take. I cannot imagine what the next day, the next hour, the next second of my life would be without you. Will you please marry me, not because it’s logical but because I need you?”
Her heart thumped. Sure, she was wearing a wedding dress and Ballard was wearing a tuxedo and just outside of this room were two hundred people wondering what the hell was going on. Still, this proposal, this heartfelt admission, brought tears to her eyes and joy deep down in her soul. She nodded because the words weren’t coming as quickly as she would have liked.
“Yes, Ballard, let’s go get married,” she finally managed to say.
* * *
Now, this was a party, Sandra thought after leaving the dance floor. She’d been out there since the moment the bride and groom were officially announced, loving the joyous atmosphere and the huge smile of happiness on her best friend’s face.
Janelle looked absolutely radiant, her gown a gorgeous masterpiece that would be all over gossip magazines and national papers by sunrise tomorrow morning. Success on the work front and happiness on the personal front—life was good.
“Come on, the bride’s about to toss the bouquet,” someone said as streams of single women made their way to the middle of the dance floor, preparing to catch the stunning throwaway bouquet Vicki had made for Janelle.
Speak of the devil, Vicki appeared beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, let’s get out there. Janelle said she’d aim right at us.”
Sandra shook her head. “Tell her to aim in another direction. All this happily-ever-after is not for me.”
“Oh, come on, have some fun. You know that saying about the one who catches the bouquet being the next to get married is old superstition.”
“Whatever, I’m not getting up there. You go right ahead and catch your Prince Charming,” Sandra told her, then laughed as Vicki swished her happy behind up to the dance floor, pushing her way front and center so Janelle could see her.
The counting began and Sandra continued to laugh at all the women getting into their battle stances, preparing to catch that damned bouquet come hell or high water. Screams sounded as the bouquet was released and went soaring over the crowd. Soaring higher and farther than Sandra would have thought Janelle could throw, dropping with a disturbing plunk right into her lap. Shocked, Sandra grabbed the flowers to keep them from falling to the floor. Looking up, she heard the loud run of applause as everyone in the room now looked at her, the single woman who was sitting at her table minding her business and now holding that silly bouquet.
Sandra did the only thing she could do: she threw the damned thing back across the room, wishing the next unlucky female who cau
ght it good luck and good riddance. And she ignored the raucous laughter that followed her actions.
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781460340790
Eve of Passion
Copyright © 2014 by Harlequin Books S.A.
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