She continued to stare at the fire. “Why would it? I mean, I’ve known you’re immortal this whole time.”
It didn’t seem like a straightforward answer, but he moved on anyway. “Does it bother you that I can’t have kids?” She seemed upset. She was chewing on her thumbnail and sniffing frequently as if she was fighting back tears.
“Doesn’t it bother you? I mean, people need family. Having children, creating a family... seems amazing. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” Her voice cracked on the last word. She shrugged. “I guess you have all your brothers and your father. Maybe it doesn’t bother you.”
Leaning forward, he propped his elbows on his knees. “I haven’t really thought about it before.” He cleared his throat. “Zeit seems excited to be having a child. He says Hannah can’t seem to stop buying blankets. They have more than a dozen blankets for the baby already and he thinks she may have hidden others that she’s bought.”
Phoebe grinned. “I want to meet her someday.” She shot him a look with eyes that were far too shiny. “We should give them a blanket after the baby is born.”
He sat back. “We should.” He liked the sound of that. Doing something like that as a couple. Something after New Year’s Eve.
The tenseness in her shoulders eased. “I wonder what a baby who looks like you and your brothers would look like. I can’t picture you as a baby.”
“I never was.”
“Oh.” She pursed her lips. “Maybe the baby won’t look anything like you anyway. You’ve got that fake badass persona that people only buy because they don’t know you. I can’t imagine a baby rocking that much attitude.”
“Fake badass? Maybe I am badass.”
She giggled, covering her mouth after the fact. “I’m sorry. But remember when we were carving pumpkins for Halloween and we got in that pumpkin goo fight? You’re not badass.” She started snorting from laughing so hard... and he couldn’t help but join in. They’d gotten covered in the slimy entrails from their Jack-o-lanterns.
When they’d settled back down to just smiling, she reached over and grabbed his hand. “Friends can hold hands.”
“I believe you,” he said, twining their fingers together like she had earlier.
CHAPTER NINE
She rubbed at her itchy eyes as she woke up. Phoebe never expected to cry herself to sleep when she’d invited Ruin along, but their discussion about him not growing old and never having kids had come back to haunt her in the silence of the dark room. She’d tried to think of other things and to be quiet, but he’d heard... of course he’d heard. Of all the times to have a best friend who didn’t actually need sleep, according to him. Hopefully Ruin assumed she was upset about her brother... which was probably a lousy thing to wish for, but it was better than him thinking she was disappointed in him.
It wasn’t his fault he was immortal.
Listen to her, acting like immortality was a character flaw. Chances were that he saw mortality as a huge strike against her.
But he couldn’t have kids. She’d always assumed the man she’d fall in love with would want kids just as much as she did. Not that anyone could ever replace the family she’d lost but she was sort of hoping it’d help.
Being faced with the idea of her aging and him not and then the lack of kids... this all sounded impossible long-term. It was a nice dream that was doomed eventually. If this even worked and he could stay as her guardian angel, at what age would it start to feel weird? Forty-five? Fifty? And, by then, she’d be too old to have children.
She had to stop thinking about this.
There was always the chance that he’d give up immortality like his brother had, but she couldn’t ask that of him.
What a mess. Why did it have to be so complicated? Maybe she shouldn’t spend this week trying to seduce Ruin. She might mess up their friendship for nothing—nothing that could last anyway.
Then again, even something short-lived with Ruin would be fantastic.
Ruin crouched beside the bed. “You sleep too much.”
She hit him over the head with her spare pillow. “You sleep too little.” It was cute that he was eager for her to wake up. “I can’t help it if mortality is exhausting,” she said on a yawn. “You should try it sometime. You’d need sleep too.” She stretched hugely. It felt like she’d tossed and turned all night.
Ruin was watching her closely—she could feel it even with her eyes closed.
“Stop staring.” She hid her face under her pillow.
She felt the tentative touch of his hand on the bare skin of her stomach—which her stretching must have inadvertently exposed. Breathing normally was next to impossible. He pulled her shirt down and rubbed his hand across it, smoothing it into place. Oh yeah, they couldn’t be just friends anymore. They had to be more. It would kill her otherwise. If it lasted a couple months or a couple years or even as long as a decade or so—it’d be worth it. Some of the best things in life didn’t last forever.
Nothing lasted forever.
Unless you were immortal.
She pushed the pillow off her face and stared at him.
He met her gaze—his hand still on her stomach. He felt something for her. What he felt and to what degree were less obvious.
She had to take the chance.
“I have something for you.” He gestured at the small tree in the corner that had been set-up and decorated when they arrived. The wrapped gift from his luggage was underneath it.
“Oh look. I must have been good after all.” She leaned up, and he removed his hand, leaving her skin feeling tingly and a bit cold. “But nothing for you. You must have been baaaaad.”
He grinned.
“Actually, I didn’t take it out of my luggage just in case you have x-ray vision and you weren’t fessing up to it.”
His gaze travelled up and down her body purposefully as he said, “Maybe I do.”
She hit him with a pillow again.
“Ow,” he said, putting a hand to his eye. “My eyes were open and…” He blinked. “I can feel pain. That’s strange.”
“You don’t normally feel pain.” She didn’t like the frown on his face.
“I know. It started happening last night.” He looked down at her stomach. “Other things feel different too. I feel... more.” His gaze drifted to his feet. “I can even feel gravity’s pull stronger.”
“When you say that you feel more... is that better or worse?” Had touching her been painful? If so, that was going to squash any attempt at intimacy.
His smile was back. “It’s better. Much better.”
“Oh.” She licked her lips.
His gaze dropped to her mouth. Well, it could be a merry Christmas for both of them. Shaking it off, he went and retrieved her gift from under the tree. When he sat beside her on the bed, she decided that gift-opening in bed was as good as breakfast there. Maybe she could con him into bringing her breakfast in bed too. Win!
Normally, she tore into gifts before any anticipation built—it was just the way she was. This time when he handed her the gift, she held it and relished the giddy sensation building in her heart. A gift. From Ruin. He probably didn’t give many gifts.
“Is it okay?” The insecurity in his voice warmed her heart.
“I’m just glad to be here—in this moment.” She unwrapped it slowly. A jeweler’s box. Whoa. Friends didn’t usually give friends jewelry. Biting her lip, she opened the jeweler’s box. Tears sprang to her eyes immediately. “Oh, Ruin.” He’d gotten her a gold wishbone pendant.
“Is it okay?” he asked again.
“It’s perfect.” She pulled it from the box and put it in his hand. “Put it on me,” she said, turning her back to him and holding up her hair. The thin chain tickled her skin as he put it on. She wiped her eyes as he fumbled with the catch.
“Damn. This thing is... oh, I got it.”
The necklace dropped into place and she picked up the tiny wishbone. “I guess this means I get wishes for life, right?�
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He pressed a kiss on the back of her neck, making her breath catch in her throat. “I think that is what it means. What’s your first wish?”
If she was bolder, she’d turn and tell him that he was what she wished for. She’d wished for him when she won the wishbone break after Thanksgiving. “You always wish for more wishes.”
His soft laughter brushed the back of her neck. “You already got that. What’s next?”
Do it, Phoebe. Tell him... and then pin him to the bed and kiss him until his eyes cross. “Uhh. Breakfast in bed?” She grimaced. She was a coward. They hadn’t kissed since March and that crash-and-burn shouldn’t be fresh in her mind, but it was.
“I can do that. I think they set our trays in the hall.”
While he went to get their food, she grabbed his gift from her bag. “I’ll trade you,” she said when he brought her the tray.
His grin was infectious as he took the gift from her.
“It’s not as cool as your gift, though.” She traced the wishbone with her finger.
“I’m sure it is.” He opened it carefully. A black leather frame with the year embossed on it and a picture of them on his motorcycle was inside. She couldn’t tell from his face what he thought. He was just staring.
“The picture is the one I talked that other biker couple into taking of us.”
“I remember.”
It was the one picture she had of them together. It was her screensaver at work. It was a good thing he never dropped by her job. “You can swap it out for a different picture if you want.”
“No, I like this one.”
“You just said that you didn’t have any pictures around your condo and I saw that picture frame and the black leather reminded me of you and…”
He fixed her with a look.
She was babbling.
“I like it. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. We could get you a picture of Poseidon too—since we sort of have joint custody of him.” She licked her lips.
Now, he was staring at her lips again. Should she kiss him? Should she not? So much pressure.
“I should get my breakfast,” he said, gesturing over his shoulder.
When he stood, she huffed out a breath at the reprieve. She could cut the repressed sexual tension with a knife. Hopefully, it wasn’t just her. It couldn’t be. That wasn’t possible.
Eating breakfast in bed side-by-side was so sweetly domestic that it almost made up for the near kiss. Almost.
“I know you just wanted to get crumbs in my bed too,” she said when they’d finished.
He’d picked up his picture frame, tracing the edge with his finger. “You can have my bed. I’m not using it.”
“What did you do last night while I was sleeping?” It was strange to be with someone who never slept.
“I watched TV. You’ve made me into an addict the last few months. I even got a DVR just after Thanksgiving.”
“That’s not addiction—that just makes sense. Though you’ve set so many shows on my DVR I don’t know why you needed one of your own.” She climbed out of bed. “I think they’re opening gifts around the tree right now. Wanna go watch?” There’d be kids there. Maybe if he saw how much fun it was to have kids…
Stop it, Phoebe. Don’t force it.
“I guess so.” Ruin had no idea with whom he was dealing. She was a force to be reckoned with.
She grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”
Christmas with Phoebe was, in a word, overwhelming. She was in her element when surrounded by families. It was cruel that she’d been denied her own. The Fates were known for being cruel.
He got a snowball maker in his stocking that Phoebe was eyeing with interest from the moment it made an appearance. So he gave it to her. It felt like giving her a second gift. Also, if he really wanted a snowball maker, he could summon one—which he did when his brother and his... girlfriend challenged them to a snowball fight.
“I can’t wrap my brain around the idea that your brother was kissing her... in public,” Phoebe said as they walked toward the exit. “Like kissing. Like there was some serious tongue action.”
He’d noticed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that uncomfortable.” They’d caught them under the mistletoe when they’d been heading back to their room to change.
“You’re so reserved and conservative and he looks like you.” She frowned.
“Are you saying you wish I was more like Tempus?”
She brushed what must have been microscopic lint from her arm before pointing ahead of them. “Oh, look, there they are waiting for us.”
He grabbed for her hand to hold her back, but she evaded him and pushed through the doors.
“Phoebe.”
Laughing, she winked at him. “I like you just the way you are, Ruin.”
Ruin had always thought of himself as a competitive man, but after an hour and a half the women had created large snow fortresses and were launching a full-on campaign to topple the other’s defenses. Somehow he and Tempus were elbowed out of the way so they stood on the sidelines watching.
“I’m surprised to see Phoebe has this bloodthirsty side to her,” he admitted to his brother. She was ruthless as she plowed snowball after snowball through Lacey’s fort.
If Lacey wasn’t so good at aiming, Phoebe would have won long ago.
Phoebe shrieked as another snowball went down her coat.
Ruin cleared his throat. “Are you staying through New Year’s Eve?”
Tempus nodded.
“I don’t trust this.” Them both staying through New Year’s felt like they were begging the Fates for mischief.
“Why?”
“I didn’t realize this was where Zeit went. Maybe I should have asked.” He nodded in Phoebe’s direction. “She won this all-expense paid vacation here from a radio station.”
“That’s... lucky.”
“Isn’t it just? Who do you think arranged it? The Fates? Or Father?” He couldn’t figure out which was more likely. He’d taken the life of his mortal sacrifice and worked for the Fates all year. They had no reason to fault him. But his father had arranged for him to spend the year with Phoebe and maybe this was part of that.
“I couldn’t say. If it was the Fates, what would be their motive?”
“Motive?”
“There has to be a motive.”
He couldn’t suppress a grin as Phoebe shrieked again from a well-aimed snowball.
“How long have you been with Phoebe?”
The idea of “being” with Phoebe appealed to him. If only it was that simple. Ruin rubbed both his hands down his face. “A year. Her twin brother was last year’s mortal sacrifice for me.”
Tempus’s mouth hung open.
“I know,” Ruin said.
“You took her brother and she’s okay with that?” His brother’s tone confirmed all his concerns.
“She doesn’t exactly…,” he trailed off.
“What?”
Ruin looked over his shoulder quickly and then lowered his voice. “Know. She doesn’t know. She thinks I’m a guardian angel.” He had to say something... and soon. He’d nearly kissed her a dozen times that day alone.
Tempus shook his head back and forth. “Maybe father did this to give you a chance to come clean.”
“Why at the same time as you two?”
“It is strange.”
“I don’t like it,” they both said at the same time.
“Woo hoo!” Lacey shouted, coming up behind them. “Phoebe conceded defeat. We won! We won!” She hopped around while holding onto Tempus’s arm.
Phoebe followed her over, brushing snow from her clothes and laughing. “I’m too cold to continue this battle to the death. Let’s go in and have lunch and something steaming hot.”
Lacey nodded. “I think I’m using up my whole tin of hot chocolate today.”
“Me too.” Phoebe grabbed Ruin’s hand and dragged him back toward the lodge as Lacey did the same.
<
br /> The brothers exchanged a look over their heads.
CHAPTER TEN
That night they settled in front of the TV in an easy, companionable quiet.
This felt like the perfect ending to the perfect day. Sure, her arm hurt... a lot. She’d thrown the equivalent to three baseball games worth of pitches during that snowball fight.
“Lacey has killer aim,” she said, rubbing her bicep.
“It’s the only reason she beat you. You’d nearly leveled her fort.”
“I know.” She changed the channel. This was nice. She had a cup of cocoa and her favorite guy. The only thing that’d make this better would be if she was on Ruin’s lap and they were kissing like Tempus and his girlfriend. Apparently angels weren’t always angelic.
If only she could be alone with Lacey. Obviously the girl knew how to get what she wanted. Phoebe could really use some tips at this point. She’d left it up to Ruin to make the first move, but he seemed content not to.
It was demoralizing.
Still, sitting there, watching TV together was nice.
It’d become their routine for him to come over after she got home from work and watch TV together while one or both of them made dinner. Sometimes, he brought over take-out, too, or groceries. For not knowing she was struggling to make ends meet, he’d helped her get through some lean times. Speaking of which, she’d been meaning to tell him… “When we get back, I’m going to be moving to a new place. You’ll have to help me pick out an apartment. I’m selling my house.”
“Selling it? You love that house and you’ve lived there your entire life. We even painted it the color it was when you were a kid. You can’t want to sell it.”
“It has a lot of memories, but it’s bigger than I need.” Also, she could get out of debt this century if she sold the house.
“Good memories... you’ve said that. There’s another reason.”
She shrugged. “I want to be out of debt. This last year has been hard. I’m tired of feeling like I’m drowning in it.”
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