by Gina Kincade
When my sister looks at me again, she’s forcing a smile into place. I can tell because one corner of her mouth is twitching, appearing to droop at any second.
“Have you talked to Hon lately?”
I shrug and glance at Bit because she’s so animated and distracting. “He hasn’t returned any of my calls for months.”
“You should try again.”
I sigh. “What’s the point?”
She doesn’t answer for a long time and I finally turn back to her, her dark, dark gaze so like mine, but now filled with pain. She swallows. “You remember when you were little and the two of you were going to be doctors together?”
I nod and make sure Ian is paying attention to only Bit. “Yes. It’s fine that he changed his mind—”
“Ever wonder why?”
I glance at my sister again, blinking. “Some people change their minds.”
She leans closer. “And some people chose a different path after one is presented to them. Ever wonder why Hon is a contract lawyer? Why he’s doing a job he hates? Why it is he’s been slaving at making a huge amount of money over a short period of time? And why he’s finally ready to leave his job?”
I dryly laugh. “No one talks to me, so how am I supposed to know?” I’m getting angry and loud, making Bit and Ian glance over the table at me, which only adds fuel to my embarrassment.
Lona, though, coolly smiles and acts like everything’s fine until Bit and Ian talk again. Then she leans over and whispers, “Ask him. Corner him. Make Hon talk.”
I shake my head. “That’s your way. Not mine.”
She shakes her head. “It used to be yours, especially with him. When he was being a jerk, only you could make him stop. When he was scared, only you could give him courage. He needs you, Asha. He needs his twin. Now more than ever. Make him spill his guts to you. He needs it. I think you might need it too. But…he’s not as strong as you. He needs your strength right now. And I’m sick and tired of being the liaison between you two.”
“I’m not making you—”
“No, you’re not. I’ve taken on this role because I love the both of you so much it makes me crazy. But I’m done with it now. I’m going to get married to the girl of my dreams, which you know will probably creep the fuck out of our folks. So I’m going to need to preserve all of my strength for that battle.”
I sigh, wishing I could argue about our parents, but she’s probably right.
However…
“You know—” I narrow my eyes at her conspiratorially, “—the one thing that could sway mom and dad’s views on lesbianism is what our tribe thinks of it.”
She arches a black brow, a sign she’ll allow me to finish my train of thought.
I smile. “The Cheyenne have a proud tradition of supporting their Two-Spirits.”
“I’m not fond of the term, Two-Spirit. Or lesbian for that matter.”
I’m getting frustrated with her not getting my point. “Okay, great. Good to know. But you know what I mean. Within a Cheyenne tribe they’d celebrate their Two-Spirit—sorry, but that term is better than berdache, don’t you think?”
She reluctantly nods.
“Anyway, the Cheyenne needed Two-Spirits for matchmaking. You, my sister, are a spiritual matchmaker. And Mom and Dad, in terms of their beliefs, always make being Cheyenne more important than almost anything else. So, once I talk to them about you being a Two-Spirit—sorry I keep saying it—they’ll get over their weirdness and accept you and Bit.” I smile, praying I’m right.
She slowly grins but then pointedly looks at Ian who’s laughing at something Bit’s said. “A spiritual matchmaker, huh? So does that mean you believe me now? I see that he’s falling. He’s falling hard.”
She turns and cockily smirks.
And I can no longer form words.
How the hell can she think Ian is falling for me? I mean, it’s me. I’m not the kind of girl men gush over. And I’m a tad broken too.
Besides, it’s him. He’s not the kind of guy who would…
I’ve been making way too many assumptions about him. So what kind of guy is he?
Ryder
After lunch, Asha and I went to the university’s geological museum. We totally geeked out. I had no idea she’d like dinosaurs. And I don’t know if it’s something I held onto from when I was a kid, but I’ve always been a little fascinated with the huge beasts and their bones. We spent hours in the museum, talking about the Paleozoic period, and sometimes talking about our childhoods, getting to know each other even more.
We lingered so long in the museum we finally had to eat. She picked out a bistro where we had red wine that I actually liked. We joked around, ate off each other’s plates and forks, and talked the whole time. After, we went to a local bookstore, where we separated, going to the sections of the store that house our favorite genres—me thrillers, her romance. Honestly, I needed a little time without her. Because I’m falling so hard. Just a couple days with her and I’m thinking about holding her hand everywhere we go, about her sister’s wedding in the winter and if I’ll be invited, if Asha will still want me around by then.
I didn’t mean to, but I overheard a lot of what Asha and Lona were talking about over lunch—their brother. I may not know when Asha’s going to dump me, and it might be as soon as I make love to her, but I want her to make amends with her brother. I want to see if I can encourage that. Or I could straight up manipulate her into talking to her brother again. I could make it the deal before I finally have sex with her.
If I can keep holding out, that is.
Jesus, it’s hard. And yes, pun intended. I want to touch Asha all the fucking time. I want to hold her, kiss her, feel what her breasts might be like in my palms. I keep replaying what happened this morning—seeing her finger, slathered with my cum, in her mouth, seeing her finger in her pussy, seeing her come. While at the museum, I wondered if I might need to use the bathroom to curb my enthusiasm for her. God, everything she does is…okay, it is magic. I don’t mean to quote love songs, but I guess I am. It’s just, she’s so great. She’s so funny. She’s so smart. And she’s so kind. I love how she helped a little girl stand on a box to see the stegosaurus on display. I love how she’s thoughtful to waitresses and insists on big tips. I love how people light up when they see her, even if she is a stranger to them. Her excitement for life, for living, is contagious. And more than once I saw a few guys looking at me like the lucky bastard I am.
I can’t stay away from her long and wander to the huge romance section of the bookstore. She’s in the middle of an aisle, reading the back of a book, totally absorbed. She’s so fucking beautiful. She’s so beautiful that it always hits me like a kick to my chest. My heart and lungs hurt. I wonder if I can take a breath, if I’m dying. Then my heart starts beating too fast. And I might be panting, which I’m sure women find so sexy and not like I’m a sick stalker at all.
I try to regulate my breathing as I come behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist because I fucking can and I’m fucking dying to.
She jumps a little but laughs, turning and looking up at me. “Hey, I was just thinking about you.”
There’s a middle-aged blonde woman, standing a few feet away, who’s interested in a cotton-candy pink book, smiling at us, then shyly glancing away.
“Yeah?” I kiss Asha’s cheek and hold her tighter as she caresses my hands that are on her belly.
“Yeah. I’m getting this book for you.”
I arch a brow. “Really?”
“You’d like it. It’s about this FBI agent who has to solve a cybercrime before the hacker kills her partner, who she’s kind of in love with. I think you’d like it since you said you liked thrillers.”
“They write romance books like that?”
She rolls her eyes. “Oh, Ian…Ian, Ian, Ian. Poor Ian. What you don’t know about romance books.”
I laugh. “I’m guessing it’s a lot.”
She nods. “With me, baby, you’re going
to read a lot of these bad boys.”
She called me baby. I love that she called me baby.
The woman with the pink book scoots a little closer, giggling softly, saying, “My husband reads them. And by the way, he’s my second husband and thanks to him reading these books, I’ve never been happier, in the bedroom or out of it.”
I smile, nodding at the woman. “Gotcha. So I’m going to buy about a hundred books today.”
Asha chuckles and, god, do I adore the sound. It makes me happy. So fucking happy.
We leave shortly after that, me packing twelve books into my saddle bag. We’re on the way home, which I can’t believe I’m calling my apartment home for the both of us. But I have to say I do like my space better than hers. She’s living in a closet. Seriously. Her apartment is about the size of one of my closets. She said she didn’t care about where she was living when she moved to Laramie about a year ago. She kept making plans to find something a tad bigger, something where she can get out of her bed and not run into a wall, but she hasn’t. And now she has my place.
Need to stop thinking this way.
She’s going to end things when she gets what she wants. A girl like Asha does not end up with a guy like me. No matter how much I want it.
Oh, but I’m going to try to make her think she wants it. I’ll do everything in my power to make her mine. Because she is.
And I’m going to wind up with such a broken fucking heart.
It gets colder as the night progresses. Asha’s wearing my jacket as I gather my new books in my arms and she’s got her over-night backpack slung over a shoulder. We trudge up the stairs to my place, and I wonder why we’re silent. Well, I know for me I’m worrying about my broken heart, but she’s…
Once we’re inside and I lay my books on the kitchen table, she’s staring at me intensely.
“I—I forgot to mention something about our deal tonight.”
I swallow. It’s been such a long, wonderful day that for a second I don’t remember our deal. I loved every minute of today, and I’m so thrilled I wonder if I have a permanent smile on my face.
“Deal?”
She clears her throat, fingering one of the books she picked out for me. “I’m going to—you know—I’m going to give you oral sex. I’ve been a good girl and did everything you wanted.”
With words like oral sex and good girl floating around, my brain shorts and I’m suddenly not thinking. I want to throw her over my shoulder, race to my room, and fling her on my bed. I want to cover her body with mine. I want to kiss her, tearing off her shoulder-exposing t-shirt and her jeans with my teeth.
But I try to think. I might have a droplet of blood still wandering around in my brain.
“Yeah…our deal.” My voice has turned hoarse, raw, my desire obvious.
My cock is alive too. Bone Ranger is trying to get some attention. He heard everything Asha said and is insisting she get on with her half of our deal.
She doesn’t look at me but is staring at the book with vision that might burn the pages if she’s not careful. “Yes, I—I forget to tell you something about our deal.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. “I—I need to tie you up to do it.”
Tie me up? Hmm. God, I wish my mind was functioning just a little faster so I could think of something to say. Finally, I blabber, “I’ve never been tied up before.”
She looks up at me, smiling. “You mean I’ll be the first to do that to you?”
She’s getting excited, which gets me even more excited. And I’m happy I can nod to acknowledge that she will be the first.
“Have you ever tied up anyone before?” She winces. “Actually, I don’t want to know.”
I touch her because I have to. Not because Bone Ranger is begging me to, but because I see something in her eyes that cuts me deep. She liked it that I could share a new experience with her, and being a virgin, I’d guess she’d rather not feel like she’s so different from me.
Caressing her hand that’s been sculpting lines in the book, I say, “I’ve never tied up anyone, either. This is all new to me.”
She shyly smiles. “So you’d do that for me? Even though I forgot to ask for it this morning?”
I nod. “Yeah.” And because it’s me, and I’m a moron who sometimes only thinks with my dick, I ask, “Can I tie you up sometime?”
I asked because I got caught up, thinking about her tied to my bed, writhing as I please her, as I do everything she wants me to do. Her legs would be spread and my face would be between them, making her come. But I forgot about her past that she hasn’t told me about, but I’m fairly certain I’m right. She’s been hurt by some fucker who I’d like to kill. Slowly.
I’m about to recant, when she finds a book with a flower on the front. “Maybe you can. Maybe after we read this book. I think you’d like it.”
“What’s it about?”
“A woman who has a thing for tying up her lovers.”
I smile. “Not the other way around?”
“Well, there are so many of those. And, honestly, I don’t think they’re as much fun as the other way around.”
I shrug, again only thinking with Bone Ranger. “Maybe I could convince you that being tied up has certain advantages and can be a lot of fun too.” Fuck, why do I keep saying things when I know I could make her uncomfortable?
She saunters even closer with the book, pushing it against my chest, saying, “Maybe. Maybe.” She smooths the book to my heart, her other hand touching my shoulder. “Ryder?”
“We’re back to Ryder now?”
“Both names are great. You have a rocking, sexy ass name. But right now I want Ryder.”
“And I want you, baby.”
“Will you find me some rope and get naked, please?”
Asha
Ian takes a slow breath. “Can I kiss you first?”
It’s so sweet that he asked. He doesn’t just take; although, soon I might be okay if he took that from me. Soon.
I nod and he consumes me. His mouth is on mine, a hand on my nape, another low on my back, his body pressed against me. He’s kissing me like he’s been dying to do this for days, not hours. He’s hungry and aggressive, and I like it. I love it. The hand on my back roams lower, clutching at my ass, pulling me up to my toes.
“Asha,” he whispers then kisses my cheek to my ear lobe.
“Ian.”
He suckles in the tender flesh, and something about it makes my knees feel weak, desire fluttering down my spine like a butterfly. I press my breasts against him more, and he moans then kisses my neck. Shocking me, he bites my throat, making me gasp and giggle.
“No biting?” His whisper is rough.
I arch more into him. “Actually, I liked it. I was just surprised.”
He smiles and lowers his head to bite my neck again, then he licks right where his teeth left their mark. I moan, my knees even weaker, my body compliant to anything he wants to do. My breasts—I can’t help but rub them along his chest. I couldn’t stop if someone asked me to. I’ve never paid much attention to my breasts but I do now. They’re so full, tingles of desire making them feel that way. I want him to cup them and see if that would feel good.
But my breath hitches at the thought. Fear trickles in.
I hate my fear.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his hands on my hips.
He’s taken a step away from me, his gaze serious. He’s so attentive. To me. And that helps the fear flee. Well, some of it. With a shaky breath, I fight what remains.
In a quick move, I take off my sweater. I love watching Ryder look at me. The concern etched in his eyes morphs into pure lust. I think he likes my breasts, even if they are covered by my bra. I think he likes them a lot.
I take his hands, hoping he doesn’t feel or see me tremble, then slide them up my body.
“Touch me.”
He’s looking at my breasts, his gaze full of want. Now, he’s looking at his hands as if he can’t believe th
ey’re attached to his body, or that I’m guiding them to my chest.
He releases a pent up breath. “Show me. Show me how you like it.”
Oh, he’s so perfect. That was such a perfect thing to say.
So, I do. Slowly but surely, I guide his hands to explore the underside of my breasts. He’s careful. So gentle. But I need more. Moving his hands to cup me, I gasp at how good it feels for him to hold me like this.
He moans. “So beautiful.”
He’s caressing me, doing everything I want him to do. And I want more.
“Will you kiss them?”
He swoops down the second the words are out of my mouth. His hands move to the side of my breasts and pushes them together. He kisses from one mound to the valley between them to the other. His hot breath on me, his hot lips, makes me tremble even more. Liquid lust pouring through my veins straight to my Caterina. No, my pussy. I moan while I lean my head back, removing my hold of his hands to touch his forearms.
He takes over, kissing, licking, caressing.
“I’m going to move your bra. I want to see your nipples.”
He’s telling me what he’s going to do, but I know he’s really asking.
I have power here. He gives it to me.
But I’m nearly helpless when he pushes the cup of my bra to the side and kisses his way down to my nipple. The dark pink bud is jutting out and he breathes on it.
“Ian.” I shudder.
His mouth latches on, all warm and wet. I moan even louder.
“Oh god, Ian.”
He suckles and my whole body bucks. I arch, forcing more of me in his mouth, amazed my body would want this so much. Faster than I thought I could move, I have his t-shirt in my hands and am trying to remove it. He has to stop sucking my nipple, which almost makes my body whimper, but the second I throw his t-shirt close to my sweater, he’s back, his mouth on my breast. I unlatch my bra and fling it away, making him moan.
I love it when he’s suckling one breast then cups the other, squeezing them together slightly, then his hand finds my other nipple and rolls it, pinches it. His mouth switches to my other breast and he reaches down, way down, to my ass and lifts. My breasts are level with his face, and he suckles hard.