by Gina Kincade
Taking a big breath, I open the door and there he is, in his boxer briefs, his erection noticeable. He’s leaning against the door jamb, nonchalantly. But in a flash, he’s grabbing me, yanking me from the bathroom, his lips slamming against mine.
I push against him, looking up. “You brushed your teeth.”
“So did you.” He’s closing the distance I just tried to gain. “Used the other bathroom.”
“You have two bathrooms? How much is your rent? I can’t believe how big this place is compared to mine.”
He shakes his head. “We’ll talk about rent later.” He’s grabbing me by my t-shirt, pulling me against him.
“We will? What are we going to talk about now?”
He’s hard. So hard. And his eyes are so full of desire. For me.
It’s difficult to be discouraged about the future when he looks like that.
He shakes his head and smiles, giving me that predatory look that now makes my inner thighs tingle and warmth spreads from my heart to my breasts to the apex of my legs. “Not going to talk.”
“No?”
“No. I’m just going to make good on my end of the deal.”
“Oh,” I say breathily.
He smiles and kisses me again, his tongue insistent against my lips. I open to him and forget everything. There’s only been a few times that he’s been this aggressive. I liked it then and I love it now. It’s like something in him snapped, and he needs me more than he’s ever needed anyone else. More magical thinking? Probably. But I can’t help it as his hands glide down my sides to the bottom of the t-shirt.
“I’m taking off this thing.” Somehow, I know he’s really asking me, getting my permission, before he does what he says he will.
I nod.
He whips off the t-shirt, throwing it god knows where.
His smile is, indeed, wolfish. “You took your bra off.”
“I didn’t like sleeping in it. You have my permission, in the future, to take off my bra if I fall asleep on you.” I’m a little stunned I just said that, what with alluding that we have any kind of future, but he nods as he’s gazing at my breasts.
He’s walking forward and I’m backing up, although I do want him to uphold his end of the bargain. It’s just…he’s all animal right now. And I’m not scared. Any other man acting this way, I’d freak. I’d run from the apartment. I’d do something, anything to get away from this kind of man. But on Ryder, I like it. I like him raw and hungry. For me.
When I back into his bedroom wall—I’d hardly gotten far from the bathroom in the first place—he grabs my hands, sliding them up my body.
“Show me again,” he demands, his gaze intense and focused on my breasts.
“Show you what?”
“The way you like to be touched.”
He leans down and kisses my neck, still holding my hands as he guides them. I’m not sure if he really meant for me to show him, because he’s in control. Only, he’s kind of not. With my hands on my body, I know I have power here. I can say what I want to. Stop when I want to. And start whatever comes to my mind.
I maneuver our hands so his palms are on my stomach, me pulling his hands up and up. He cups my breasts, and I moan as he’s biting and sucking my neck. I arch into him, his rough hands. He caresses me, one hand rolling my nipple between his finger and thumb. And I let go of his hands. I let go. I give him all the control when I wrap my arms around his neck.
Golden arousal is coursing through my body, and everything he’s doing is so perfect. He pinches my nipple as he’s kissing down my throat, right to my breasts. He suddenly grabs my ass, pulling me up his body. I wrap my legs around him as he levels my chest to his face. When he kisses around one of my breasts, the other he holds with his hand, I cry out. My panty-clad sex is pressed against his hard stomach, aching for something more.
He takes my nipple into his mouth and I rock against him. My pussy is screaming for something. Like the night before last, I’m not quite sure what it is I want, but I have a really good idea. I keep rocking against him as he lavishes me with his tongue and mouth and a hand. My breasts feel worshipped. And he keeps turning me on. More desire is pulsing through my body.
With one nipple in his mouth, he suckles deeply as he moves away from the wall. I’m on his bed faster than I can account for, and his fingers are inside the waistband of my panties. He’s pulling them off, and my breath catches. Fear trickles in.
Fuck, I hate this fear. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
I trust Ryder. I like him. I want this. I was aching for this.
But I’m suddenly scared, and I hate it and myself a little.
He throws my panties over his shoulder and smiles. His face sobers when he glances down at me.
“Give me your hands.”
I do, stretching out to him in a silent request, begging him to take this fear away, to make me feel normal.
He interlaces our hands although he has to bend over the bed awkwardly. I’m perpendicular to how we usually sleep and he’s standing where my feet are, at the side of the bed. He’s giving me space but still touching me, looking only in my eyes.
“I’m with you, here, where you’re safe.”
I nod.
“I’ll never hurt you. Never.”
I nod again.
“I’ll only do what you want me to do.”
I want to cry at that. He’s so sweet. So understanding without me saying one word.
“I want to lie down beside you.”
Slowly, I nod again.
He doesn’t lessen his grip of my hands and gingerly lowers his massive body next to mine. I turn, looking more squarely at him.
He smiles so reassuringly. “Show me what feels good, baby.”
I blink and think, trying to clear my way back to him from this mental fog.
“I—I loved it when my nipple was in your mouth.”
He smiles again. “I’m going to move you, so I can do that.”
I give him a quick nod and he slowly releases my hands, holding me by the base of my ribs and scooting me up so my breasts are level with his face once more. He starts slowly, licking me, looking up at me after his tongue has been on my nipple. From that one touch, my body responds again. Desire is flooding down my spine, leaving tingling sparkles where he licks. He kisses around my areola then takes me in his mouth.
“Oh, Ian.”
He sucks harder.
I tunnel my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer.
He’s sucking and kissing and caressing, and everything feels so good.
But I want more. So much more.
I take one of his hands, tracing it down my belly right to my sex. I’m not thinking about anything other than what feels good and how to feel even better.
He moans as I take his finger and run it on top of my clitoris. I make circles around and around my nub, his finger under mine. He sucks in my other nipple and I arch, letting my hand go. He keeps circling round my clit, keeps sucking, making me crazy with how good everything feels.
But I want even more. “Now, baby.”
He stops sucking my nipple and looks up.
I lay flat on my back, huffing for air. “I want you to…now.”
He blinks. Something isn’t clicking, and I should just be a woman about this and ask for what I want.
“I need your face between my legs.”
His smile is slow and so sexy. “Fuck, that was hot.” His voice is gravelly. With him so close, his voice so low, the tone is inside me, echoing. Reverberating throughout my body, make me want him even more.
He hovers over me, his hips between my legs, but he’s not touching me. He’s descending, every second agonizing to my needy body. He adjusts me so my legs are over his shoulders, and I watch him as he’s watching me. He’s smiling, his breath heavy and fast. Then he looks down and moans.
“So pretty.”
I never thought my sex could be pretty, but I guess to a man it could be. I mean, as odd as it soun
ds, I’m kind of in love with Ryder’s cock. Even though it is way too big. But I love looking at it. I like touching it. I like the way it smells and how soft the skin is. I love it when he’s so hard that I think he’s like iron with warm flesh on top. I like the color of his penis—pink and turns kind of purplish on his head when he gets more and more aroused. And I like the veins.
Thinking about his erection, I’m considering asking him to take off his boxers, when he licks me. Right on my clit. It was such a soft yet noticeable touch. I gasp. And look down at him. He’s smiling up at me.
“Grab those pillows so you can watch me.”
I do as he tells me, and it’s not until I’m comfortable and can look at him that he licks me again.
“Oh god.”
He smiles in an assured manner. But then looks down at me again. “So fucking pretty and all mine.”
I would never expect him to say something so…possessive. Not in a creepy, stalker way. And not in a way that makes me think he’s excited just because I’m a virgin. Although I could be wrong. But I think it sounds sweet, something a lover who really cares says. Something a lover says who does want a future with me.
But before I can analyze it to death, he’s licking me. He’s licking me all over. He starts at my clit but then moves around to the sides of my sex, to my labia, then back to my clit. He explores with his tongue, and I can’t even watch because all I can do is close my eyes and focus on his touch. He sucks in one of my folds and I moan and open my legs more. He sucks in my clitoris and I drop my knees to his bed, completely open to him.
“I’m going to put my tongue inside you.”
I’m barely aware he’s said anything, other than I can feel the timbre of him against my pussy, how my womb even loves his voice. Then he’s at my opening, he’s pushing inside. And it feels so good. So fucking good. I moan and rock into his tongue. He laps me up. He’s thrusting in me and I’m rocking against him. I can feel my orgasm start to beckon.
Oh, but this feels so good I never want it to end.
“Ryder,” I call.
He keeps thrusting, but now one of his hands wraps around my hip and his finger finds my clit, rubbing right over it.
“Oh, Ian…Ryder…Oh god.”
“Yeah, baby. Let go.”
I snap my eyes open. “No, I don’t want to.”
He stops and looks up at me.
“I want this to last. It’s so good. I had no idea it could be this good.”
He smiles. “I’m glad. Really fucking glad.” He wipes around his mouth. That’s me he’s smearing off his face, my wetness. Even that turns me on, while he asks, “Ever try to have a multiple orgasm?”
I shake my head.
“Want to try?”
I smile slowly. “I—okay.”
He licks right up the center of me, my core contracting, squeezing. Yes, my orgasm is very close, but I want to hold out. I especially want this to last as he pushes his tongue into me again. But when his finger rubs over my clit once more, I know I can’t make this last. I’m rocking into his face. I’m gripping the bedding. I’m moaning so loud.
“Oh…Ryder.”
He’s thrusting inside me, rubbing just right.
“Ian…mmm.”
His tongue feels so good.
My orgasm floods me, tearing me into thousands of petals, flower petals. I’m soft and beautiful and feel like I’m drifting in a warm wind. I break again and again, becoming more and more blossoms, oscillating down, down, down from this intense moment.
Ian removes his tongue, but he’s suddenly licking my clit, making me cling to the bedding even more. My orgasm isn’t over. It keeps waving over me, through me. And then I feel something harder than his tongue just touching my opening. His finger.
“Yes,” I say, without even thinking. But I know he was waiting for me to give him permission. I know he was about to ask.
He’s slow and careful and enters me only a little bit. But I want more. I want so much more. Until Ryder, I’ve never masturbated with anything inside me. I’ve only used tampons when nothing else was available. I know it’s silly and Megan and I have been working on it, but my vagina seems like the place where my body betrayed me the most. Okay, it’s not silly. And it’s damned difficult to work through. I have this place on my body, in my body that other women seem to relish, this space that they’ve claimed and owned. I feel like it was ripped away from me. This sacred area of me, an area I want to ignore. Or hide from.
But with Ryder, his soft tongue and now his much harder finger are making it so I can’t ignore this space. I don’t want to ignore it. It gives me such pleasure.
Ian’s moving his finger. In. Out. In. Out.
“That’s—that’s good.”
“I only want it to be good.” His voice is raspy. “I want it to be so fucking good.”
I moan. But what comes out of my mouth next terrifies me. “You probably noticed I have an annular hymen, already a little worn away.”
He stops moving because I’m the weirdo who brings medical facts to bed. My medical facts.
Oh, but I don’t stop there. Nope. Why not embarrass myself more?
“So—so you’re right. I probably won’t bleed when we—if we—”
He shuts me up by sucking in my clitoris. Well, it doesn’t shut me up so much as makes it so I stop talking and can only moan. Then his finger goes in more and more. I feel him. I feel him inside of me. And I think he’s slowly adding another finger.
It doesn’t hurt. It feels different, yes, but this is what I wanted. Only, I didn’t know I wanted it.
“Yes. Yes. That’s it. Yes,” I’m screaming.
He’s licking me in a frenzy and I feel stretched even more, but something about it is so good. Not bad. I feel everything inside me. I’m not numb. This isn’t a dirty space. It’s pretty. I know because Ryder told me so. Everything about this moment is so beautiful. I had no idea sex could be beautiful. Sure, they write about it romance novels. But I thought the writers were exaggerating.
They aren’t.
I’m not sure if I ever stopped orgasming from earlier, but I feel something like another one coming closer and closer.
“Ryder…Ian…Ian…oh, baby.” I push on his shoulder with one of my feet, so he looks up at me. “Ian, I—I want you.”
“You got me, baby.”
“No, I want to make you come. I want to look at you while you come. While I come. Let me touch you.”
He swallows and wipes around his mouth with his manly big paw. God, why would that turn me on too? But it does.
“Oh, I’m going to come. Please.”
He hefts himself up, hovering over me, making it look like he’s going to lay beside me when I stop him. I like him where he’s at. I want him to come when he’s right where he is. So I reach for him, pushing his briefs down in a hurry, and take his cock in hand.
He closes his eyes. “Asha.”
I double up my hands the way he likes it right before he comes. What fascinates me is he starts thrusting into my fists. I barely have to do anything. He’s moving and groaning and saying my name.
“I’m going to lower you closer to me so you can touch my clit.”
He nods and bends his elbows slightly until his cock touches me. We’re mimicking sex. I know. And I don’t care if it’s ridiculous or silly. It just feels so good. When he resumes thrusting, the head of his hard length rubbing over me, he teeters to one elbow and kisses me. I realize he tastes of me and I kind of like that.
We kiss for a long time. Our tongues tangle. Our arms. My legs are around his hips, locking my ankles in place behind him.
“Asha.” The way he says my name is so…so sweet. Like I matter to him. Like I mean something. Like his heart is mine.
Right now, I imagine it is.
It might hurt me to imagine this, but I’m going to think his heart is mine.
“Ian.”
“Baby, I’m—”
“Me too.” I’ve held of
f this orgasm long enough. It’s roaring in my ears.
“Asha…Asha…I—I lo—oh—” He’s coming.
I can’t help but join him. I’m rocking against his erection. His warm, warm seed spills on me. He’s shaking and jerking and I’m pretty sure he was going to say something besides my name.
He kisses me as his orgasm and mine subside. We keep kissing and I wonder if he’s kissing me like this so he won’t say what he was about to before he came.
But what distracts me more than the words he might have said—and I know better than to speculate too much into those words—is the fact that I’m naked and he is too. And we’re perfectly lined up to finally get rid of my virginity.
I’m going to get rid of it. Right here. Right now.
Ryder
Asha had pulled me down to cover her body with my own after we came. But being so close, skin against skin, made me want her all the more. Want to keep kissing her, cup her breasts, then thrust inside her.
Somehow, through brute force more than anything, we’re now cleaning up in the shower when Asha smiles up at me and asks the big question, “What do you want me to do so we can make love?”
We have two more days left to get to know each other. Two more days to woo her, make her fall in love with me. But instead, this morning, I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. I couldn’t think straight. I just wanted my face between her thighs. I wanted to watch her come undone. I wanted to be inside her, one way or another.
Making it even harder coming up with an answer is I think she’s ready for me, for my cock. She was so tight I nearly cried, but after a little work…yeah, she’s ready for sex. Sex that might not hurt her. Of course, I’ll be careful. I won’t get crazy. I’ll save that for later.
But what if there is no later?
She still seems to think that my dick is the only thing she wants from me.
I’ve cooked for her, taken her out, listened to her, memorized that her grandmother on her mother’s side is Nana, while the grandmother on her dad’s side is Ona. I’ve committed to memory how she and her twin graduated from high school two years early because they were so excited to go to medical school. I don’t know what happened and Asha glossed over it, but she was the only one who went medical school. Her brother went into law, and she hasn’t talked to him for a very long time.