by J. A. Owenby
I jumped up off the sofa at the sound of the front door opening.
“Hey,” Emma said as she closed the door and froze. Her mouth dropped as she saw Xander on the floor, Jared with a gun, and my disheveled clothes and hair.
“What the hell is going on?” she asked me.
“Emma, meet Xander,” I said.
She stood still as her purse dropped to the floor.
“Emma?” I asked softly. “I can explain.”
“Oh, I think I already got it,” Emma said as she stared at Xander. Silence hung in the air as I waited for her to say something else.
She surprised me as she stood up straight, threw her shoulders back, and marched across the living room. She swung her leg back and kicked Xander in the nuts.
He doubled over in pain.
“There’s more where that came from, you bastard,” she said as she kicked him in the stomach.
Tears spilled out of his eyes.
“That’s for hurting my best friend. That’s for all the hell you’ve put her through,” she said as she delivered another kick to his ribs. “And this one is for trying to hurt her again. I hope you rot in hell!” she yelled as she delivered the final blow to his crotch.
Xander’s eyes rolled back in his head as he lost consciousness.
Emma straightened her shirt and glanced at me. “Well, that was unexpected,” she said as she walked over to the phone, picked it up off the floor, and dialed 911.
I shot Jared a look as Emma gave them the address to our apartment.
“They’ll be here in a minute,” she said as she glanced at Xander, who was still passed out.
“I’ll make some coffee. It’s going to be a long night,” she said as she walked away and into the kitchen. I’d never seen Emma in this mode. I assumed it was part of her job as a nurse.
“Jared, give me the gun,” I whispered. “I need to hide it before Emma realizes it’s mine.”
Jared nodded and slipped it to me. I crept down the hallway and tucked it back into its hiding place. I returned to the living room before she’d realized I was gone.
I stared at Xander lying motionless on the living room floor, and suddenly a cry snuck out of my throat and my knees buckled. Jared caught me and pulled me against him as we fell into the couch.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered as he stroked my hair. “You fought back and took care of yourself.” I grabbed his hand as sobs shook my shoulders. He rubbed my back as he held me.
Chapter 32
The cops arrived and arrested Xander. He could barely walk as they dragged him out of the apartment. Jared was right—the cops asked us all a ton of questions. I told them the truth, and all our stories matched. I hoped it wouldn’t take long for them to look up Xander’s record and learn about the assault in Oregon. It would most likely save me from any charges.
After the apartment had cleared out, Emma excused herself to take a shower. I glanced over at the floor where Xander had lain. Drops of blood dotted the light-beige carpet. I was exhausted, but I had to clean it up before Emma saw it.
“Where are you going?” Jared asked.
“I need to clean the carpet,” I muttered as I walked into the kitchen for the cleaner.
“I’ve got it,” he said as he took it from me. “That won’t work anyway.” He returned it to the cabinet as he rifled through the other bottles. He grabbed a wire brush I didn’t know we owned, a bowl, a white dish towel, and the Dawn dish detergent.
I sat at the kitchen table and watched him scrub the floor. My mind and body had gone numb from the shock. I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to process the fact that I’d kicked Xander’s ass and almost shot him.
Jared finished and returned everything to the kitchen. He’d worked magic on the carpet.
“Thank you,” I said as I stood up.
Jared wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him for a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” he whispered.
“I’m not sure I am,” I replied.
“But you beat his ass. You found your power and all the training kicked in.”
“It saved my life,” I agreed as I pulled away. I rubbed my forehead and stared at the floor for a minute. “What you told me earlier,” I whispered as my gaze drifted back to his face. “About your dad. Were you telling me the truth, or were you just trying to get me to come to my senses?”
“It’s true,” he said softly. The strain around his eyes tugged at my heart.
“Did you go to jail?”
“No, the court viewed it as self-defense since I had to fight him off my mom. Technically, we don’t know which blow killed him. It could have been during our fight or the extra one I gave him after he was already on the floor. But I have to live with it for the rest of my life. I didn’t want that for you.”
I nodded. “I understand. I get why you didn’t share that with me the night we were on the dock,” I said, unable to keep eye contact.
“But?” he asked as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“But I’m not sure I can trust you anymore.” I bit my lip as the tears threatened.
“Please don’t say that,” he said as he cupped the sides of my face and leaned his forehead against mine.
I grabbed his hands as my tears fell.
“I care about you so much,” Jared said, his voice cracking with emotion. “You brought something back into my life I thought I’d never feel again. I felt worthy. I had a purpose.”
“Oh, Jared. You gave me that too. I just don’t know how I’m going to feel about all this later. I don’t know if things will ever be the same between us,” I hiccupped.
“Can we try?” he pleaded.
“I need some time,” I whispered.
Jared squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. “Then I’m not going to leave without telling you this. I love you, Lacey. I’ve tried not to overwhelm you with it as you healed, but shit. You walked right into my heart, and I’d do anything for you. Take some time if you need to, but please, don’t let us go,” Jared whispered.
He tilted my chin up and brought his mouth to mine. I could taste our tears as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me. I slipped my arms around his neck. I kissed him for loving me. I kissed him for saving me when I couldn’t save myself. I kissed him for giving me a piece of my life back.
We slowly pulled away from each other. He stepped back and opened the front door.
“Goodbye, Jared,” I whispered. His eyes darkened with sadness, and then he walked out the front door.
I sat down at the table and sobbed until I had no tears left.
* * *
“I won’t ask if you’re okay because that would be a stupid question,” Emma said as she came out of the bedroom. Her hair was still wet from the shower, and she’d put her pajamas on. “I know we won’t sleep, but we should at least try. I just don’t want to be in my room by myself tonight. I know that sounds real brave after kicking Xander until he passed out.”
“It’s okay. I don’t think I could be alone right now either,” I said. “You did surprise me tonight, though.”
“Hell, I surprised myself. But when you told me who he was, I had this rush of anger for everything he did to you. I figured if he couldn’t hurt me and I could get a few kicks in, I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity.”
I would have smiled if things weren’t so serious.
“Want some tea?” she asked. “This one’s supposed to relax you,” she said as she pulled the box out of the cabinet.
“I’d love some rum right now. Not to get drunk, but shit, my nerves are shot.”
“Ya know, I wouldn’t blame you this time. Do you really think you can just have a little?”
“I don’t have any. I haven’t drank anything in months,” I said.
“I do,” Emma said.
“What?” I asked as my mouth hung open. “You drink?”
“Lisa and I used to have a drink every once in a while. I’d just bought a new bottle b
efore you came home. When I realized how wrecked you were, I hid it and never opened it.”
“Well, shit. I think we can handle a few drinks. Go get it.”
Emma’s cheeks reddened as she hurried down the hall and into her bedroom.
I grabbed two glasses and the Pepsi out of the refrigerator.
“Okay, I know it’s been a hell of a night. Well, technically it’s morning,” she said as she nodded toward the clock that read 2:37. “Anyway, you promise you can handle this?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to get drunk. I don’t ever want to be that out of control again,” I said as I looked her directly in the eyes.
“Good, give me the damn glasses,” she said and opened the bottle. She poured the rum, and I topped it off with Pepsi.
“Here’s to kicking Xander’s sorry ass and staying alive,” she said as she raised her glass.
“I’ll drink to that,” I said. Our glasses clinked, and we both took a long swig.
“Let’s go crawl into your bed,” Emma said. “You have more room than I do. We can just talk until we fall asleep.” She grabbed the bottle of rum, and I grabbed the Pepsi and followed her down the hall.
We fluffed up the pillows and got settled. I took another drink and let the alcohol warm me. I missed drinking, but I didn’t miss feeling out of control. Oblivion wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Emma took a sip of her drink and turned to face me. “Can you tell me what happened?” she asked.
“Yeah. I’m not sure if I’ll ever talk about it again, so I might as well tell you now.”
I paused for a minute and collected my thoughts. As tired as I was, my brain was wired.
“When you and Nathan dropped me off, I thought we’d forgotten to leave a lamp on. When I opened the door, it was pitch-black inside, and I had no idea he was waiting for me. He pinned me against the door and held a knife to my throat.” I stopped and took a sip of my drink.
“He started telling me how his attorney got his sentence reduced to months instead of years, and that he was out early for good behavior. He said some really nasty things that I won’t repeat. Then—then he started unbuttoning my shirt,” I whispered.
“Oh my God,” Emma gasped.
“When he started to kiss me and take off my bra, something in me snapped. I heard Tiffany’s voice in my head, and I grabbed him by the nuts and squeezed. If you hold on long enough, it’ll make a guy pass out. It’s difficult to do, but I couldn’t think of anything else. Jared hadn’t taught me how to deal with a knife against my throat. When Xander doubled over and stepped back, it gave me the space to bring the heel of my hand up, and I hit him underneath the tip of his nose. I thought it would knock him out, but the bastard is stubborn. He hit the floor, and I tried to run past him. He grabbed my ankle, and I fell. I gave him a kick straight to his face. He let go, and I scrambled into my room and locked the door. I had a gun and ammo ready to go in a shoe box in my closet.”
“Lacey Anne! That was your gun?”
“Yeah.”
“Where is it now?”
“Jared gave it back to me, and I hid it again before the cops showed up. You were making coffee or something.”
“Why did you have a gun?”
My eyebrows rose as I looked at her. “Because I was terrified something like tonight would happen. And it did. That bastard came after me. Thank God I’d had some training and the gun. I’d have been dead otherwise.”
“I know,” Emma said and held her hand up. “I don’t like guns, but I can’t argue with you. The facts are in front of me.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I just didn’t want you to freak out on me. I was trying to move forward and feel like I could protect myself. But it was more than me. After Walker left, I had to keep you safe too.”
“Well, you did.”
“Anyway, I ran in here and loaded the gun. When he broke the door open, I was standing by the window. I had it pointed right at his chest. He said I wouldn’t shoot him, but I was prepared to. He came toward me, and I took the butt of the gun and knocked his sorry ass out. I don’t remember how, but I managed to drag him down the hall and into the living room. Remember the tool drawer your dad started when we moved into the apartment? I grabbed the duct tape and used it on Xander’s hands and feet. I slapped a piece over his mouth, too. I wanted him to know what it felt like to be terrified that he was going to die. Emma, I almost pulled the trigger, but then I realized I was about to lose control. The adrenaline was running through me, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was terrified. I picked up the phone and called Jared instead. By the time you got home, he’d talked me into giving him the gun.”
“Thank you Jesus,” she said. “Lacey, you would’ve never gotten over it if you’d killed him. I’m so glad Jared stopped you. Oh my gosh,” she said and leaned her head against the wall. She closed her eyes, opened them again, and took a long drink. “Oh my God,” she whispered as the tears gathered in her eyes. She covered her face with her free hand and broke down into tears. “Oh my God” she hiccupped.
“I’m so sorry, Emma,” I said softly as I scooted over and pulled her into a hug, her head resting on my shoulder. I knew she’d never be the same after tonight.
Chapter 33
Emma took a few days off work, and we spent a lot of time together. We talked to her parents and told them the calmer version of what happened. Neither of us mentioned the gun. Jim went straight to the hardware store and bought us a new lock, bolt, and chain. After he’d installed them for us, he suggested we consider moving. I wasn’t sure it would help. Even though Xander was in prison again, he hadn’t had any problem finding me this time.
I never returned to the dojo. I tried—I even walked to the parking lot and stared at the door. I willed my feet forward, but they refused to carry me through the front door. Even if I could go in, I’d never look at Jared the same way. It would always linger in the back of my mind that if he were angry enough, he might snap and turn violent. I was no longer willing to live in fear of anyone. Not even someone I cared about deeply.
I didn’t sleep much, but I hadn’t started drinking again. I trained myself every day in the living room after Emma went to work. I loved it and wanted to continue, but not with Jared. I would always be grateful for him taking me in and giving me a reason to live again, but I’d have to figure out another option.
Christmas was only eleven days away, but for the first time in years, I didn’t care. I’d taken Emma to work and gone grocery shopping. I was trying to get out more and help with the errands. I wasn’t as scared of being in public now that I knew Xander wouldn’t be showing up again. Even if he did, I’d proved to myself and him that I could take care of myself. I was no longer an easy target.
I had just put the groceries down on the kitchen counter when a knock sounded at the door. I froze for a moment. I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I opened the tool drawer and grabbed the hammer just in case. I’d learned that anything could be used as a weapon.
I unlocked the door but left the chain attached. I peeked through the opening and gasped. I tossed the hammer on the couch, unchained the door, and opened it wide.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey,” Walker said. “Emma called and told me about Xander. I wanted to see for myself that you were okay.”
“Do you want to come in?” I asked.
“No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I bit my lip and nodded.
“I didn’t get custody of Garrett,” Walker said as he ran his hand through his hair.
“Oh no,” I said. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah. I think it’s the best place for him right now.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Well, I wanted to see you and make sure you were okay. That had to have been scary as hell. I would’ve been here sooner, but I was in Missouri again,” he said as he kicked at the ground with his shoe.
“I’m okay. As okay as someone can be after something li
ke that. Thank you for checking on me.”
He took a deep breath, and then his eyes locked with mine. His forehead creased and a surge of sadness spread across his face. “I’m leaving, Lace.”
“Already?” I asked. “Will I see you again soon?” My heart pounded against my chest as I waited for him to answer.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I got my PCS orders. I’m getting transferred in a few months.”
“Wait, what? What does PCS mean?”
“Permanent change of station.”
“Where are they sending you?”
“California.”
My stomach dropped.
“Shit,” he said as he ran both hands over his face and blew out a breath.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? It’s cold out there.”
“No, thanks.” His gaze drifted back to my face. “Come with me. Come with me, Lace. We can start over in California. I know it’s not Oregon, but it’s closer than we are here. We can live together.”
He shook his head and let out another heavy sigh. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I just need you to want the same thing. I had to try one last time, but if you say no”—his voice trailed off for a moment—“you’ll never hear from me again. These last seven months have been some of the hardest I’ve gone through. Seeing you torn up and angry was awful, but when I had to take a break, I was just hoping like hell you’d miss me. It fucking tore me up, and I can’t do it again. If I walk away, I’m done. I’ve gotta try to move on. Please tell me you’ll go with me.”
I was speechless. He was leaving again. California. Everything we’d ever gone through together came crashing down.
“Say something,” he whispered.
“Walker. I—” I suddenly took a step forward, grabbed his shirt, and brought his mouth down to mine. He paused for a moment and then slid his arms around my waist. He lifted me up as I wrapped my legs around him, and he walked into the apartment and kicked the door closed behind him.
“Is that a yes?” he whispered between our kisses.
“Yes. I love you so much. Please don’t leave me again.”