I wasn’t one of them yet but I felt this urge to go to them and join them. I couldn’t remember who I was before, I was just a ball of energy. I guess if I’d been left, I probably would have developed into a full demon spirit. I don’t know how much time passed while I was in the darkness, but the only thing I remember is how strong their will was to kill you. It was so overwhelming I almost followed their voices, to help them find you. In this dark place, after a while I saw this glowing light so I kind of floated over and realised it was you. I was drawn instinctively towards the light cast by something you had on you.”
“Probably my Xenite pendulum.” I offered.
“Maybe, I’m still not sure what that even is. When you were in the room for the first time I tried my best to talk to you and flicker that old light bulb. You didn’t get it though. I’d heard Esther talking, and I knew about the candlestick. Then I saw them there, in the darkness, waiting to touch you as soon as you stepped into the room. I got the feeling if they touched you, you’d turn into something like me so I managed to make my hand visible, tried to push you and make you fall over out of the way. I managed to get you out the way but I... I didn’t see Gwen behind you. One of them grabbed her while you fell, and obviously it was permanent. It just makes me wonder, why didn’t they rip me up and take me with them, like Esther? They just stabbed me in the heart and left me alone.” he sounded tired. “They didn’t do the job properly, and if they had they could have used me as their plaything for the rest of eternity.” He shivered and his lip began to quiver. “I didn’t realise how quite so close I was to actual death. I wonder if I was in limbo?”
“You had some of my blood in you so you couldn’t properly die or go with them while you were still connected with me.”
“So why didn’t you give Gwen some of your blood before you killed her?” He asked drowsily, yawning noisily. I knew his words weren’t meant as harshly as they sounded, but a stabbing pain that seemed to be directly connected with Gwen twisted in my stomach.
“I didn’t kill her, I took away the badness that was infecting her which meant there wasn’t enough left of Gwen to survive.” I tried to reassure myself. “Even if I’d given her blood all that would have happened was I would have been infected too. Blood seems to be a really big part of everything.”
“So now we’re linked? If I die, I won’t really because we’re one and the same?”
“I don’t know how it works, or if you only die in supernatural circumstances. I just don’t know. ” I couldn’t handle thinking logically about anything other than sleeping away the rest of my life.
“Maybe I’ll test that theory out later.” He joked, laughing feebly. I couldn’t stand thinking about life or death anymore, all I wanted to do was sleep so I could join Gwen in my dreams. I shifted up a gear and forced the gas pedal down to get to the flat quickly. After about thirty seconds of quiet, Seb fell asleep from the stress of the day. I wished I could do the same, but I hoped he had found peace in his mind for the time being before he had to wake up to reality again.
My emotions were kept in check until we got to my flat, where I deposited Seb who was still half asleep in the living room and retired to my bedroom. I looked around at all the evidence that Gwen had lived there, sat on the unmade bed and wept until my eyes stung and my stomach ached. The pain felt like it would last forever, and I didn’t know how to heal. My precious, sweet and irreplaceable girlfriend had made me sacrifice her to save myself, and I knew for as long as I lived I would feel guilty. I wondered where her soul had gone. I had a blind moment of panic as I realised I could have trapped it in the house with Esther and all the evil spirits, but I had a feeling it definitely wasn’t, that she was at peace. I had a flush of anger at myself that I could even consider that her soul had gone anywhere other than upwards.
My mind had been opened by the new experiences that day so I felt weak and yet more knowledgeable at the same time. My emotions were all over the place and I was glad to be alone with no shadows for the first time in living memory. I wished with every atom of my being that there was some way of having Gwen back, but I didn’t want to risk letting other spirits into this world too. Going back to work would be difficult, with the absence of Gwen. I wasn’t sure I even knew how to live without Gwen by my side, we spent so much time together that our lives had become intertwined. I would have to sleep in an empty bed, wear a ring that bore no promise of forever to anyone anymore.
My mind wandered to the possibility that Seb could have been tainted when he was touched. He had been reluctant to burn the house down, but once all the souls had been burnt I was sure it couldn’t be possible. He couldn’t be tainted if the entities that were supposed to infect him were now all gone. I pondered the meaning of “gone”. They couldn’t die if they were already dead, but maybe they weren’t the normal souls of humans. They could have been shunned somewhere else or just banned from Earth, I guessed. Whatever had happened to them, I knew it wouldn’t be enough. I wanted them gone forever, I wanted to see it happen and get revenge for them taking Gwen and making it so she would either turn into one of them or die to save me. I needed to know she was okay before I could begin to grieve.
My entire body was devoured with tingles and suddenly I felt an urge to do a Ouija board to see if I could contact Gwen. As I stood up to go to the nearby spiritualist shop in the city centre, a cold shiver ran down my spine. I realised for the first time in my life, I felt really cold. I never left the heating on, as I usually just over heated and complained all night to Gwen who would give up, turn the heating off and pile a few extra jumpers on. There was two of her over sized jumpers on the floor at my feet. I remembered she had worn them the night before, and I picked one up. The fabric was soft from being worn so much, and I lay back down to hold it in my arms and pretend it was Gwen. I put the fabric to my nose and inhaled, hoping to smell her. It had a fragrance of her talcum powder, hairspray and deodorant. I crawled under the thick quilt I hadn’t even needed since we’d bought it, and kept the jumper pressed to my face until I felt my consciousness begin to slip. I let it take me, feeling safe that I wouldn’t be taken but unsure about the nightmares I was bound to have about Gwen and her death. The murder I had been forced to partake in. I hated the world, hated it’s ungratefulness that a beautiful young woman had been stolen from it, to save everyone. And no one would ever even know. With that last angry thought, I slept fitfully.
I woke with a start a few hours later, when the bright moon had begun to illuminate the room. I felt freezing in my jeans and t-shirt so I tried to find an old hoodie I had worn during a holiday to Prague Gwen and I had gone on. Tiredness was dragging my eyelids down so after a quick visit to the bathroom I flopped back into bed, tucking myself in. I still hadn’t had the chance to grieve for Gwen, and I felt empty yet full of anger at the same time.
I rolled over onto my back in the double bed I once shared with Gwen, and as my eyes drifted and fluttered with tiredness, a shadowy figure strolled past me. Sleep had won over though, and my millisecond of panic was forgotten as rest welcomed me deeply with outstretched arms. My last conscious thought was that nothing was over with yet.
Salvatore – Alexa is a lonely traveller eager to return home to Opura but torn by having to leave her only friend Rocco. When her grandfather dies and leaves her his generations old sword, she decides to enter a fighting tournament in a strange little town. In a cut-throat competition with a prize that isn't what it seems, will Alexa be able to hold her own? Or will the consequences be fatal?
The Boy Who Found Himself - Nick doesn't understand how his life has reached such a low. Sitting on the edge of his bathtub, razor blade in hand, he remembers everything that led him there, from ex-girlfriends to his murdered dog. As he probes deeper into his own mind, he discovers a dark secret he buried away even from himself...
A Following of Demons - They want you. Do not panic. Stop your pulse racing. Do not close your eyes. Hear that? They are coming for you. They will get you.
Jessica Cambrook is an eighteen year old sushi addict from England.
A Following Of Demons Page 7