Kayla was overwhelmed and she looked down at Kittie for help.
The little girl appeared tired. “I think your best bet is to walk up front with Asher. If you don’t, they might never shut up.” When Kayla hesitated, she forced a little smile. “I’m okay, really.”
Kayla squeezed her hand before letting go and running timidly to Asher’s side. Vic noticed her approach and slowly fell back to walk with his comrades, but Asher’s eyes barely moved in her direction. They walked together quietly for a long time, as the pirates’ chatter behind them dissolved into a vague mass of distant noise. Kayla looked down at her left hand; the bruises were almost gone. She clenched her fist tightly, the pressure keeping her question about his wound unasked. She knew the answer already, and any time she thought about that morning, a wave of some uneasy feeling hit her. It was frightening, and she always banished the memory quickly before she could either examine it or be harmed by it.
“Thank you. It really has made traveling easier. Don’t let anything within you try to smother that ability — it’s too precious.” Asher spoke quietly, his eyes never wandering back to her.
She caught her breath, marveling at how natural it felt for him to pick up on her thoughts. She could only nod in reply. Kayla felt the sun warm her shoulders, and although her feet ached, her steps felt light. She breathed in the silence between them, almost forgetting why they were walking out here.
As soon as this thought relaxed her face into something like a smile, Asher spoke again, breaking the illusion. “They were right. We’re not walking the whole distance there, but our options aren’t good. The way we’re going, we’ll end up drawing attention to ourselves. It can’t be helped. But if Za’in is watching, he’ll let us come. One way or another, he’ll see to it that you return. We have to be ready for it.”
Kayla nodded again, still unwilling to make a sound.
“You don’t want to fight him.” Asher’s voice was almost inaudible.
“It’s not just that,” she began, her voice cracking beneath her wish that their quiet moment didn’t have to end. “I don’t even know how. He opened my eyes, he taught me, and not only does he understand everything I can do and hope to do, but he can read me. However I intend to act, he’ll see it coming.” She let out a low growl of frustration. “Don’t you see? He knows what I’m capable of, even when I don’t.”
Asher let her anger settle into the air, leaving only a vacuum of silence. When he finally spoke again, nothing had changed in his voice. “I’m not talking about him.”
Kayla turned her head away, feeling as though it was pulled by a string tied to whatever was tightening in her chest. “No, I don’t want to fight him. I won’t.”
“The only way out of that is if I do it for you. I will.”
“No, you’re wrong. It doesn’t have to come to that.” Her voice was too even, and she felt as if her words echoed back to her, hollow.
Asher didn’t speak again, and Kayla found a lump gathering in her throat. She watched him as he walked beside her, his movements purposeful, his face resolute. She didn’t want to imagine having to fight Jeremy, but she had to confront the reality that he didn’t walk like the man beside her. What she may have mistaken for purpose in Jeremy’s steps was simply anger or insolence or spite. Did anything drive him beyond a search for relief or a flight from pain? Kayla remembered his blank eyes as he held her down against her reunion with Asher…she remembered the pained tightness of his face that night when they talked beneath the stars…she remembered the fevered breaths she felt between his kisses…and she remembered the disconnected rage that held his body stiff as he finally stepped away from her. She watched Asher move. It was effortless, as if each movement remembered every one that preceded it and was conscious of why its turn was next. If Jeremy was moving towards her now, he’d be running on passion, following it in any misdirection it pointed. No matter which way it went, it would end in a fight.
The air stung Kayla’s throat. “You’re really asking if I’ll stand with you against him.”
There was the slightest movement in Asher’s eyelids. “I’m planning. And the details rest upon where each of us stands. Make no mistake — Za’in will use your feelings as a weapon…and he’ll use mine.”
She struggled to catch her breath. “Asher…I — I won’t let you down.”
His eyes finally met hers, if only for a moment. “I know that.” His voice was reassuring, even if it was still a little distant. “Relax…there is nothing you have to tell me. I have what I need to decide now. It doesn’t change that our options are few.” His smile was thin and grim, but gentle.
Kayla’s heart raced. Her reaction to his words was enough for him to read what he wanted to know? She felt exposed, afraid of this ability that was another aspect he shared with Sebastian. She decided that was why her breathing was shallow and her chest ached.
Forcing her focus back to the world around her, she noticed that their environment had begun to change. Heavily overgrown ruins began to make way for smaller, abandoned buildings that weren’t as severely damaged. She realized that the long, flat stones at her feet that existed between sprouts of grass, gnarled roots and little flowers, were stretches of concrete. That material must have been ground down to the pebbles and dust they had tread over a few miles back.
Kayla could only see dark, broken windows, sagging roofs, and faded paint between all the green that craned upwards towards the sun. They were just rows of houses, left behind. “Is there no one here anymore? Not everything is gone, so you would think, maybe…”
Asher was paying careful attention to the houses they passed, and it seemed like a struggle for him to form a reply. “This close to the eye of the storm, no one is left and no one wants to come near. I don’t know if they even know why anymore. But there is one exception, which is why we took this road.”
It was getting dark, and although the rest of them dragged their feet, Asher’s movements were quicker and sharper. His head turned right and left, his eyes sweeping over the houses on either side of the road. He suddenly rounded a corner onto a street even thicker with foliage, and the others scrambled to follow. When they caught up with him, Asher was opening the door to a yellow house that sat between two overgrown, empty lots. “Quickly, in here,” he called over his shoulder. “We go no further tonight.”
The fear of standing in this vacant street under the gathering darkness was stronger than the apprehension Kayla felt for entering the ramshackle house. She hurried to Asher’s side, and although his eyes were still reaching for distant points even now, he pressed his palm lightly between her shoulder blades in a steadying gesture of comfort. They stood beside the door as the pirates dragged themselves inside the dark house. Bruno and Kerif leaned on each other, their jaws jutting out cheerlessly. Fec followed them with only slightly more energy, calling out, “Anyone ’ave fire?” Vic was last, carrying a subdued Kittie on his back.
When the others were inside, Asher finally let his eyes meet Kayla’s. “Go inside and try to sleep. They’re going to protect you for the measure of the night.”
“What? Where are you going?” She impulsively reached for his arm.
He looked down at her hand. “I’m going to ensure that, starting tomorrow, we cover more miles. But I have to go alone. It wouldn’t matter to this man who you are — he wouldn’t trust me if I brought anyone along. He barely tolerates me as it is.” Asher faced her again, a tired smile almost brightening his features. “Don’t look so worried. I doubt Za’in has recovered enough by now to have located you already, and those boys can guard you against most everything else. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but they can handle themselves, and I’ve seen you do some pretty remarkable things too. Still, I’ll be back before dawn.” He turned to leave, his steps sure, even on the crumbling walkway that led down into the yard.
Kayla lunged forward, grabbing his hand. “Something is going to happen while you’re gone,” she blurted out.
Ashe
r froze. “Is that so?”
“I don’t know why I said that.” She dropped his hand, her embarrassment something akin to being caught talking in her sleep. “I feel like something is close. Like I’m being watched. Or maybe I’m just afraid to see you go.”
He didn’t turn around. “I tore down Za’in’s compound to get to you. I’m coming back. Just stay with the boys and stay inside.”
Kayla watched him walk out into the darkness as she clung to the column that supported the porch’s overhang. She closed her eyes against the rising sting of tears. Something was coming for her. And she wasn’t sure she’d be able resist its pull.
18
Through the screen door, Kayla could see tiny flashes of light sparkling between Bruno’s fingers as he played his coins over his knuckles. She watched for each reoccurring metallic glint as she lay there on the wooden floor, wrapped in a blanket they found in an upstairs closet. Fec had first watch, and she hadn’t slept then either. She just lazily observed the nervous motions of his toes and the trails of smoke he expelled. Now she turned her head to see Kittie, nestled in the reclining chair beside her, her face smooth and untroubled by dreams. Kayla had chosen the floor as her place of rest for reasons she didn’t fully understand, but the wood seemed warm, and it was certainly more appealing than the furniture that sagged unhappily.
Her hands ached, the pain running halfway up her forearms. She remembered seeing a banyan tree across the road, and she thought that if she could just climb into its boughs and see the stars, maybe this uneasy feeling would leave her. Kayla closed her eyes and thought of Asher. He wanted her to stay securely inside, but was this place really safe? The pirates had searched it before they settled down for bed, and although there was no threat of danger, this house was not a fortress against Sebastian or anything else that might intend them harm.
Kayla pressed her palms together, the force relieving some of the pressure in her limbs. She opened her eyes and searched for the sparkle of Bruno’s coins on the other side of the screen. The tiny glimmer was still as the coin lay on the porch, steadily reflecting the glow of the moon. The Captain’s limp fingers hung above it as he slept in the chair they had pulled outside from the kitchen. Kayla glanced back quickly at the others. Kittie hadn’t moved from her position all night; her cheek was still pressed against her fist, her mouth open. Kerif was sprawled out on the couch, the blissful expression on his dreaming face no doubt the result of winning this coveted spot in a game of rock-paper-scissors. The pirates told her that Asher had previously given the order for all of them to sleep in the center of the house on the ground floor, but Fec didn’t let his loss at the game stop him from finding a soft resting place. He slept in a similarly triumphant pose on a bare mattress he brought down the stairs. Vic was sitting on the floor, propped up by the corner walls, his arms crossed and head drooping. He sat facing his brother, still the silent protector even in sleep.
She held her breath as her eyes passed over each of her companions again, watching the rise and fall of their chests in an attempt to gauge if they would awaken easily. Kayla rose painfully to stand, her body aching from days of walking, but her arms and hands throbbed even more intensely. She didn’t bother to slide into her boots; it would be easier to quietly make her way out barefoot. The screen door creaked as she exited the house, but she had timed the sound to blend with the singing of the crickets, and even then she froze, making sure the noise didn’t rouse anyone from sleep. Kayla crept past Bruno, who was slouched in his chair, snoring quietly, and she crossed the road, her eyes searching nervously for the banyan tree.
The sky above her was strewn with stars, but she wouldn’t look up — not yet. She had to find that tree. It wasn’t where she remembered it. Kayla ran in the grass beside the road, clutching onto the blanket wrapped around her shivering form. She felt exposed out here in the open, but she was certain that if she could climb the banyan she would be safe, and every doubt and fear that plagued her would be relieved. She wouldn’t feel watched or pursued. She would be able to dream in peace until Asher returned for her. Nothing else mattered or made any sense.
Ahead of her, she could see the tree, cast brightly in the cold light of the moon. It was further than she thought, but as long as she could find her way back to the yellow house, no one would know she ventured this distance. Kayla fell forward onto her knees and pressed her palms against the bark of the tree. The wood felt cool to her burning flesh, soothing her body and pulling her eyelids downward. She tried to climb, to crane her neck towards the sky, but her joints were loose and her chin was heavy. The moon was just too bright. How would she ever see the stars? Kayla used the last of her waning strength to release one of her hands from the tree’s trunk and shield her face from the intense light.
It didn’t make any sense. The rest of the world seemed to have receded, but this brilliance still pierced her. She turned her head to see two orbs of light shining towards her from the road. “No…no! Asher…” she murmured, backing away on her hands, her heels digging into the dirt as she kicked herself away from the harsh glow. Kayla tried to rise up on one arm, releasing her Intercessor with the other. She stumbled a few times before she finally stood, looking again towards the light before attempting the run back to the yellow house. The two bright points that dazzled her sight were the headlights of a truck, stopped right in front of the tree. Kayla slowly focused her gaze, afraid of whom she would see in the driver’s seat.
Jeremy pulled his goggles down to fall loosely around his neck. He watched her silently, his rigid features thinly veiling what seethed beneath, and she stood frozen, unable to let anything move her but his next action. His movements were slow and measured as he turned off the engine and then the headlights, his eyes never leaving hers. Jeremy jumped out of the roofless vehicle and walked deliberately towards her, his limbs stiff, his form dirty and disheveled, and as he approached, Kayla felt like a storm was about to collide with her body.
He stood only inches away, looking down at her coldly. “It didn’t take him long to leave you here alone in the ruins.”
Kayla retracted her Intercessor, her relief and dread collecting to form a sob. “Oh God, Jeremy, it’s really you—” She wanted to fall against him, to press her cheek to his chest, but as she tried to reach for him, she could barely make her arms obey.
“Don’t touch me,” he said flatly.
Her hands hovered in the air before she drew them back limply to her own heart, her head dropping and her tears falling against his dusty boots. “I’m so sorry…about everything! I didn’t want things to go this way…”
“What did you expect?” His rage had begun to thaw his icy expression as he spat the words at her. “You’re glad I survived what you did to me, and now what am I supposed to do — forget? You think I’d believe anything you said after you…you—”
“No, I can’t expect you to believe that since the beginning of this, I wanted to stay beside you!” Kayla looked up at him, her angry tears challenging even the threat of violence she knew he carried with him. “It doesn’t make sense, does it? You captured me, used me, put me in danger…I was supposed to hate you. I tried to forget you, Jeremy, but I was always thinking of you, always! But, fine, don’t believe it. Take me back to Za’in. Kill me. Offer me up. Or do what you really want to, if you even know what that is anymore.”
Kayla couldn’t breathe, and for a moment she was sure Jeremy had taken his revenge on her. The pain of a dropping impact stung her back, but her head was cradled in his hands, caught between his coarse palms and the driving pressure of his mouth. His weight pushed her further into the grass and dirt. Jeremy released her from the protective grip he held her in as they fell to the earth, so that now his hands could forge rough paths over her body. Kayla could feel the cool night air against her breasts, followed by the wetness of his kiss, and just as suddenly she was trapped beneath his sand-beaten armor. She reached for him, pulling on his shirt, conscious only of her desire to feel his skin upon
hers. Jeremy pushed her hands away, rising up just enough to wrench off his armor and peel his soiled shirt from his torso. The moon’s cold light cut deep shadows into his chest, his scars shining as clean white lines and the black cross receding like a narrow, intersecting void. Kayla could barely see the glint of his half-closed eyes beneath the dark hair that hung in his face, but his mouth was loose, fervent, and wrathful. She closed her eyes and turned her head, knowing then what would come next, her longing and fear endlessly feeding on each other.
Jeremy fell upon her again, pinning her arms above her head with his one hand, and she marveled that even now, he didn’t realize that she wanted this. She forced the tense muscles in her thighs to relax, offering him her weakest defenses, and he didn’t hesitate. The acknowledgment of pain was momentary, and it became indistinguishable from the acute intoxication that filled her with each wave of assault. She felt his teeth in her flesh and she cried out, struggling against his grip, yearning to reach for him, but his hold only tightened, preventing her embrace. Kayla strained to bring her face closer to his, wanting to claim his eyes and mouth as he took possession of her now, but his eyes were closed, his features lost and unaware, completely cut off from the moments before this and what the aftermath would bring. His eyes suddenly opened, and for a moment there was recognition in his stare, and bliss, but then the lines in his face gathered tighter together and he kissed her, hard, the movements of his body reflecting the fury that contorted his features. This time she couldn’t return his kiss, her mouth opening stiffly, quivering as her breath caught almost soundlessly in her throat. At nearly the same moment Jeremy let his head drop beside hers, the side of his face resting against her cheek.
They were both still and silent for a few moments and she felt him become heavier as his body relaxed, although his grip on her wrists never loosened. He rose up onto his knees and, without meeting her gaze, adjusted their clothing to cover their bodies again, his movements slow and casual. Jeremy looked towards his own shirt and armor beside the tree’s roots, but they were too far to reach without letting go of her. He pulled Kayla up and sat behind her, trapping her forearms together behind her back and wrapping his arm around her chest, pulling her close. She could feel his heart beating fast against her shoulder blade. His embrace was unyielding. Kayla rested heavily on him, deciding it was too late to fear danger. They were both motionless for a long time, until he abruptly dropped his face into her hair, nestled in the crook between her neck and shoulder. “Kayla…I…” he began, his voice choked and muffled.
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