by Jo Ramsey
Besides, Shad had psychic powers. He would probably be able to find me no matter where I went, unless I figured out a way to use my powers to block his.
My stomach growled. I should have grabbed some of the snacks from the car. It was too late now. At least I still had my money, so once I figured out how to get out of this stupid rest area, I’d be able to find a store and buy something to eat.
I crouched down behind some bushes near the ramp back onto the highway and tried to think logically.
Along the highway wouldn’t work. If I walked back the way we’d come, I’d eliminate the worry about Shad catching up with me even though he would probably know where I was, but I would still have the possibility of other drivers and possibly the police seeing me before I reached an off-ramp.
It was daylight. I’d slept longer than I’d first realized. Daylight was good. I’d be able to see where I was going.
On the other hand, people would be able to see me.
“Kellan?”
Father, please don’t let him find me. Or if he does find me, let me be wrong about that paper. Amen.
I scooted closer to the bushes and crouched lower. Maybe he wouldn’t find me. If he assumed I’d already left, he would get back into his car and go, and I’d be safe.
I could make people do what I wanted when I tried hard enough as long as they were near me. Shad was close enough. I could make him not find me.
I reached into my mind, and something inside me opened so wide my head started to ache. Even when I was doing it to save myself, it still felt wrong to try to control someone else. But I saw no way to avoid it. If Shad found me, I would have to confront him about the paper, and it wouldn’t end well for one of us.
“Kellan, I know what you saw.” His voice was a little closer, but not close enough to worry me yet. “I’m trying to help you. We’re trying to help you.”
Closer still. “Everything I said before was true. And you said you trusted me. Trust me now. I know you’re still here somewhere. Please, let me talk to you.”
I had trusted him before I’d found the paper. Now that I’d found it, how could I believe a word he said? Someone—possibly more than one person—had been spying on me. For how long, I couldn’t even guess. They knew about my powers. They were aware I was transgender. They even knew how freaked out I’d been when I’d started puberty.
I’d trusted Shad this far, and even after what I’d found, a calm, cool voice in my mind whispered that I should continue to trust. “I’m listening,” I said, loud enough for him to hear. “Stop looking for me. Stand where you are and tell me what the blazes is going on.”
“Even when you’re upset, you won’t swear.” His voice sounded the same distance away as the last time he’d spoken. “I’m not moving. Just hear me out.”
“Talk,” I said.
“I told you to go to Boston.” He paused. “There’s a group. They don’t have a name or anything, at least not one they tell people. I’m not completely part of it, but they helped me out when I was younger. That’s what they do. They help kids with psychic abilities who don’t know how to cope, or whose families can’t cope. Or who have accidentally hurt people with their abilities.”
As his words sank in, I began to smile. The smile widened until my cheeks ached. For the first time, someone had given me hope, and I would have jumped for joy if I hadn’t been hiding. I fit all three categories. If this group actually existed, it would be a good place for me. I started to stand.
Then reality knocked the happiness away as hard as a punch in the gut. Of course Shad was giving me hope. He wanted me to come out of my hiding place. I bit my lip and reached for the cool calmness in the back of my mind. The voice that told me to trust Shad. Maybe this group was real, and if so, I might find safety. Shad hadn’t completely convinced me they existed, though.
“Go on.”
“One of them, Mireille, is a finder.” He pronounced the name Mee-ray. “She can locate people, especially other people with abilities. She picked up on you a few days ago, probably around the time you burned that guy’s hands. She usually only picks up on people she’s specifically searching for, but if there’s a big energy rush, she’ll catch it.”
I hadn’t really thought about how much energy it would take to set someone on fire. Wherever the energy came from, I didn’t think it was me, since I was never particularly tired afterward.
“Are you still listening?” Shad asked.
“Yeah.” I hunkered down even more. I wasn’t going to let him find me until I completely understood what was going on.
“She told the rest of the group about you, and they did some checking,” he said. “They found out about the guy you burned. Hospital records are private, but if you have computer skills, you can hack them. They found out about him and traced it to you. They pieced the rest of the information together from records and from things a couple of their clairvoyant members picked up on.”
He still hadn’t given me the answer I wanted. “What do you have to do with all of it?”
“Like I said, they helped me. We keep in touch.”
He was a little nearer. He knew exactly where I was, I had no doubt. He wouldn’t actually find me until I said it was all right, but he knew where to look.
“They found out you’d left Arizona and tried to track you, but it wasn’t easy. They want you safe, Kellan. So do I. You aren’t alone, and you shouldn’t have to be.”
A sob shuddered out of my throat. He was definitely working on all the right things. My heart ached, and a tear ran down my face. I had no one and nowhere to be safe, and Shad was offering me those things.
Warmth wrapped around me and yanked me out of the wallow pit. Shad had powers. My pulse throbbed in my ears. He could make me believe what he said. I couldn’t let myself listen to him. Not yet.
“I’m not using my abilities on you, except to know what you’re thinking,” he said. “I promise, I will never use them to force you to do anything. That got me into a hell of a mess once, and I won’t ever do it again to anyone unless I’m protecting them or myself.”
“Like back at the truck stop.” He was being pretty persuasive. I fought not to cave and trust him again.
“Yeah,” he said. “I know you’re scared. Those people from back home are after you, and now you think I’m turning on you. I’m not. I swear I’m not. I just want you help you find someplace safe, the way someone did for me once.”
“Does Brent know about all this?” I asked.
“Not about the group. He knows about me. And he said you told him some things about yourself.”
I’d told Brent too much. He’d known I had powers, and he’d contacted someone else he knew who had them. I should have kept my mouth shut.
I should have figured out some other way to leave Denver as soon as I’d stepped off the bus.
“Are you listening to your fear or your abilities?” he said. “Kellan, I promised you I’m not using my abilities on you, right? So you can tell whether I’m being honest.”
His promise might have been a lie. I wouldn’t be able to tell if he was being honest if he was being dishonest about using his powers on me.
That kind of thinking gave me a headache. Too many circles and spirals, and I was too hungry and scared to sort through all of it. Shad was right. My instincts hadn’t told me anything wrong yet. I was hiding because I was afraid, not because I sensed I should.
I took a few deep breaths and reached into the “just knowing” part of myself. The part that had brought me safely this far. That part, those instincts, told me the same thing they had all along.
I could trust Shad. He was trying to help.
I should have realized it sooner. Through the whole discussion, my heartbeat had stayed normal, and there had been no heat. Consciously I’d been scared. Maybe even felt threatened. But my powers had known the truth.
I closed my eyes for a second so I wouldn’t cry from relief. At least one person hadn’t betrayed me. A
nd he would help me find others. I would be safe. For the first time, I completely believed it.
I stood slowly. My knees weren’t too happy about the amount of time I’d spent crouched down, and they hurt. I didn’t care.
Shad was standing a few yards away, and he smiled when I stood up. “Do you believe me?”
“I don’t know yet.” I picked up my backpack and slung it onto one shoulder. “Take me someplace we can really talk, where I can get away from you. I won’t use my powers on you unless you give me a reason to.”
“And I won’t hold that threat against you.” He slowly walked toward me, looking right at my face the whole time as if he wanted to make sure I was okay with his approach. I tried not to let my expression give anything away. “Do you want me to carry your suitcase?”
“No. And I’m going to put it in the backseat again.”
“Sure.” He stopped about an arm’s length away. “I’m sorry you found that paper, Kellan. I was going to tell you everything when we got to Chicago, because I would have had to make sure you actually headed for Boston. I was going to tell you the truth then. I just wanted to wait a little longer so you’d see you could trust me.”
“It didn’t work so well.” I pulled my suitcase toward the car, going wide around him so he wouldn’t be able to grab me or anything. I doubted he would try, but I still refused to take any chances.
He followed me to the car. I wasn’t happy about having him behind me, but since I was going where he wanted me to go, I figured it wouldn’t be too dangerous. He stood back while I put my bags in the backseat and closed the door. He got into the car before me.
Once I closed my door, my heart pounded. Heat rushed through me. When I’d hidden in the bushes, my powers hadn’t threatened to take over because I’d still had a way out. Now I was trapped, and that pushed the threat level past what logic and instincts could fight.
I closed my eyes and tensed, trying to hold it back. Even if Shad were lying to me now—and I knew he wasn’t—I didn’t want to hurt him. He’d been good to me so far. He’d even helped me get away from Ian.
“I can help you,” he said softly. “I know what’s happening. You can control it, Kellan. Take my hand.”
“I’ll burn you.” I could control it. But I was so scared, and my brain didn’t want to work right. I got hotter. I reached for the door handle but stopped, because if I touched anything, I would burn it. Or melt it.
“No, you won’t.”
His calm, soothing voice wrapped around me. He’d promised not to use his powers on me, but that was exactly what he was doing. The realization amped up my heat, and I started to shake.
“I am using one of my abilities on you right now,” he said quietly. “I’m breaking my promise, and I’m sorry. I have to so I can help you stop this, okay? I’m not doing it to hurt you or threaten you. I’m doing it because you don’t want to burn me or anything else, and this is the only way I know to help you stop it.”
If he was using his powers against me, he wouldn’t have admitted it. The knowledge didn’t do a whole lot toward calming me down, but at least I believed he was on my side.
“Take my hand,” he said again. “You won’t burn me. You’re going to burn my car, though, and that wouldn’t help either of us.”
He had a point. I reached out with one hand, not daring to open my eyes. I was so tense it hurt. I had to be so I could hold in the fire.
Shad’s hand was cool to the touch, and it cooled me. He didn’t make a sound. Cool peace washed through me, taking away the fire. The fear. My heart slowed, and I could breathe again. I even relaxed a little.
I didn’t understand how he wasn’t getting burned, but I couldn’t open my mouth to ask.
“Damn,” he said after some time. “You carry a lot of heat. No wonder you were scared of it. Open your eyes, Kellan. I think you’re okay now.”
I didn’t know what I would see. But not knowing was worse, so I slowly followed his direction.
He sat there, still holding my hand, totally fine. No burns. Nothing indicating fire had touched him at all. I’d been as hot as if fire had been all over me, but it hadn’t done anything to him at all.
“See?” He smiled. “I’m okay. And so are you.”
“What did you do?” My voice croaked. My mouth was dryer than it had been since I’d left Albuquerque.
“Drink some water,” he said. “We should go, if you’re okay. The cops check all the rest areas every so often, and we’ve already been here over two hours. I’ll explain while we drive.”
I nodded and took a bottle of water out of one of the bags. He started the car and headed toward the ramp just as a state police car pulled off the highway behind us. It didn’t flash its lights or anything, so Shad kept going.
He let out a long sigh when we hit the highway. “That was close. A cop pulled in right behind me when I stopped there earlier, and he wasn’t too happy when I said I needed to take a nap. Especially when he saw you. This wasn’t the same cop, but I’m sure the first one reported someone sleeping in the rest area. Don’t know what the problem is. That’s what rest areas are for.”
My heart sped up again, and my stomach churned so much I thought I was going to lose the water I’d just drunk. “They’ll tell others they saw us.”
“No, they won’t.” He flashed me a grin. “They’re going to forget all about us now. Don’t worry, Kellan. I promised I’d keep you safe, and I’m going to. Even if the first cop did report us, he forgot about you as soon as he drove away. He only reported one guy, not two.”
I held my breath for a second to see if it would calm me down, since panting wasn’t doing the job. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
More cars drove along the highway now than during the night. I didn’t know where we were, but it was Thursday, so I assumed people were driving to work. We couldn’t be too far from a city. “How bad is traffic going to be?”
“We’ll be fine,” he said. “There might be some slowdowns, but we’ll get through it. It’s still pretty early, and we should be between cities when the real rush hour hits.”
“Okay.” I took another sip of water. My stomach seemed okay with it this time. It growled a little, but that was hunger. I could have asked Shad to stop, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to eat yet.
“One of my abilities is, I guess you could say, draining other people’s,” he said. “Not stealing it or anything. It’s hard to explain. It’s like, if you scoop water out of a cup, there’s still water in the cup, but not as much.”
“So you scooped my pyro-whatever out of me?” I kind of understood what he was saying, but his phrasing confused me a little.
“Something like that.” He snorted. “I knew you wouldn’t burn me, because I was siphoning the fire and sending it somewhere. Don’t ask me where. I’ve never figured out how that part works. I just know it means when someone’s ability is dangerous, I can help them control it until they learn how to do it themselves.”
“I’m glad,” I said. “I didn’t want to burn you.”
“I know.” He paused. “Back when I was with the group in Boston, there was another pyrokinetic. The only one I’ve ever met besides you. She didn’t have as much control as you do. They had to…. I tried to help her the way I helped you, but she was too far into it. She set us both on fire.”
He didn’t have to say anything more. I’d felt that fire myself, building up in me like it would turn me to ashes. Thank God it had never gone so far. Not yet, anyway. I could see it happening someday if I didn’t learn to control myself. Shad wouldn’t always be around to do it for me. After what he’d implied had happened in Boston, I was amazed he’d been willing to try to help me this time.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He nodded. “Thanks. It was hard. I believed it was my fault, like I hadn’t tried hard enough to stop her. I was in the hospital for a few weeks. Some of the burns were third-degree. They did some surgeries. The group has a he
aler, and he worked on me too. I have scars, but otherwise I’m okay.”
“Except for remembering.”
He nodded. “Except for that. Hand me a soda, would you?”
I took a soda bottle out of the bag, loosened the cap, and I handed it to him. He finished opening it and took a long drink. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want him more upset than he already was. Hearing the story about the pyrokinetic helped me trust him more, but it had cost him something to tell me.
He set the soda bottle in the cupholder between our seats. “I knew I’d be able to help you, because you were already controlling it some.”
“You must have been scared.” If he’d been burned once helping someone who could set fires, he had to have been worried about it happening again.
“Fear’s something else you have to learn to control,” he said. “Yeah, you might have burned me. It could have been a total repeat of what happened in Boston, except this time there wouldn’t have been anyone around to step in the way there was then. I didn’t think that would happen, though. You already have some control of the pyrokinesis. You just have to learn to do a little better. And to not let your fear take over.”
“Easier said than done.” I took a longer drink of water this time. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” he said again. “They’ll help you with it in Boston, if you still go.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“You always have a choice,” he said. “If it was me, I would choose to go someplace where people want to help me and keep me safe. I didn’t find out about the group until they found me. But if I’d known, I would have gone to them.”
“They aren’t going to study me or anything, are they?” I was having a hard time putting my worries into words. Part of me really wanted to go to Boston. Another part of me had watched too many movies and TV shows and read too many stories and comic books, before Gene had come along and banned them, about government agencies that used people with powers for some pretty nasty things.