by Alice Shaw
“Wait. Back up a second.” This was a little hard to understand. “Shadow self? What’s that mean?”
“I don’t have a clue,” he said, trembling in my arms.
“Alpha, it’s going to be alright. I’m here. We’ll figure this out together. It was just a nightmare, after all.”
“But what if it wasn’t,” he said. “What if it was real? He said if I gave into him, I could meet my shadow master. The darkness took over me, Ryan. The thing turned into a snake. He entered my throat. Oh, goddess. The whole thing was horrible. I couldn’t breathe!”
My mate collapsed into my arms, trembling against me. Whatever he experienced was traumatizing. I held him tightly, rocking him back and forth. I didn’t know what to do or say. This was all so new to me.
“I’m here, Tristan. I will protect you,” I whispered, kissing his face.
He sniffed loudly and wiped his tears away. “I know you will. And I know that we have to keep going too. I’m just worried. You know? I’m scared that I somehow already gave into my shadow. What if my soul is tainted?”
I grabbed his face and held it steady so that he couldn’t look away from me again. “It’s not. Do you hear me? Nothing can taint who you are. You are golden. You will always be a golden light.”
“There is a dark side to everyone,” he said.
I nodded in agreement. “Sure. But just because you see the darkness now and then doesn’t mean you can’t overcome it. We all fall on our asses. It’s okay.”
“But I didn’t mean to fall into any type of darkness. I don’t know what happened. I thought I could do this, but I don’t think I can,” Tristan said, panicking again.
I squeezed his body close to mine until he caught his breath. I wasn’t going to let him give into that fear. He was brave. He was a hero. I knew it, and so did everyone back in Frisky Pines.
“I’m going to tell you something true. You are wonderful. You are brave. You are a real hero. And you can do anything,” I said.
Finally, he stood up and collected himself. “You good?” I asked him.
He nodded and forced a smile. “Yeah. I’m good. I needed to hear those words. Thank you, Ryan.”
“I love you. You’re my alpha. You are strong as heck,” I said.
Outside of the tents, Holger met us with a quick wave and a frown. “Are we doing this?” he asked.
I laughed while packing up the tent and sleeping bags. “Yep. We’re doing it. You ready?”
“I guess I have to be,” he grumbled.
Tristan was still distant, but he was doing his best to remain calm. I felt terrible for him, but there was nothing more I could do. We all decided to come here. There was no turning back.
The entrance to the dwarf caverns was dark and hollow. Taking my alpha by the hand, we walked forward. I stepped through the door and felt the cold air surround us.
“Watch out for traps,” I warned. “The dwarves are masters at deception.”
“Great,” Holger replied. “Just what I need. Booby traps crafted by an ancient group of people.”
The scent of this place reeked of old milk. Tristan plugged his nose and gagged loudly. “Good goddess, almighty. What is that smell?”
“You don’t want to know,” I replied, choking on the stench.
“Seriously, what is it?” Holger asked, before spitting onto the ground.
“Let’s just say that the dwarves weren’t that hygienic. They were great at cutting through stone, but their sewage systems were awful,” I said.
Holger wretched loudly. “Oh, goddess!”
Tristan was doing his best to ignore the smell. He ran forward, toward a fork in the road. It quickly became apparent to the two that this place was huge. It looked like the pathways extended out infinitely.
Luckily, I knew the ins and outs of the place. “It’s a maze. Intruders would get lost and never find their way back,” I said.
“Where do the paths lead to?” Tristan asked, looking around in wonder.
“Dead ends, most of the time. Other paths lead to trap doors, rooms full of spikes, and mallets that fall from the ceiling. This place is a death trap, but if you follow me, we’ll get out in one piece,” I said, with confidence.
“But we have no idea where to go,” Tristan reiterated. “We never saw what happened to Gorbins.”
“I don’t like this Gorbins guy,” Holger muttered to himself.
I ignored his comments and ran my hand along the wall’s paintings. On the wall, Dwarves stood upright, holding their axes high into the air. At the end of the hall, there were some words. In their language, it said the phrase: “We spun, upside down. We discovered another pattern. Rock was our honor. The light shone through, toward mother.”
“What the hell does it mean?” Tristan asked. “Toward mother?”
I looked to my left, where the path extended downward. That way was too easy to decide to take. “Another pattern was discovered.” Then. I looked left. The path ended at a wall of stone. “Rock was our honor.”
“Easy enough,” Holger said.
The three of us continued left and stopped at the wall. I placed my palm against the stone, wiping away the grime. Underneath the dusty cobwebs was an old painting of a goddess, wrapped in sheep wool.
“Mother. This is it,” I said, reaching into my pocket for the metal codex. I pulled it out, and it started to turn again. When it was ready, I held the light toward the goddess painting. The stone disappeared, showing us a separate path.
“Whoa.” Tristan smiled and kissed my cheek. “You’re incredible, Ryan! Now what?”
I laughed, feeling pretty darn proud of myself. I closed my eyes and pictured the old maps I used to paint. “Well, if the spiders were smart enough, they wouldn’t suck the juices out of a member of the outer realms. That’s not their style. Plus, they made a treaty with the fate sisters, ages ago. If they were to kill the poor bugger, their whole species would be wiped from the planet.”
“So they took him somewhere,” Tristan said.
I nodded, thinking to myself. “Right. And I guess that the spiders sold him out.”
“But to who?” Holger asked, suddenly interested in all of this.
“I’m not exactly sure. I thought that the dwarves were gone, but then came here. Maybe some of them are still alive,” I said.
“Or maybe someone took over these caves, after their demise,” Tristan whispered.
A chill ran up my spine. “The shadow master?”
Tristan’s eyes widened with fear. He choked on his breath. “I hope you’re wrong. Whatever the shadow master is, it can’t be something good,” he said.
“Let’s not worry about that yet. We need to keep walking. I want to check out the prison cells, at the very bottom of this pathway. Who knows? He could be down there,” I said.
Tristan nodded and took my hand. “I’m with you, omega. Let’s do this.”
Holger ran toward us. “Hey, don’t I get a hand to hold too?”
“Chief, you can hold your hand. I’m sure of it,” I said, grinning.
Walking seemed to take forever in these ancient hallways. They were designed to make people give up. There used to be treasure here, so invaders would try to sneak in.
Thinking about this “shadow master” made my body tremble with fear. “So we think that the spiders sold Gorbins out, right? But why?” I asked.
Tristan walked beside me, blade in hand. “Maybe he did something to anger the goddesses,” he said.
Holger laughed at the thought. “This Gorbins guy – he’s a god?”
Tristan laughed loudly. Our voices echoed off of the ageless walls. “Not really. There’s a guy back in Frisky Pines named Logan. He was the first to meet him in our group. He called him ‘the knowledge keeper,’ but I don’t know how accurate that is. I like to think of him as an engineer.”
I chuckled. “Gorbins looks like a small toad,” I said.
“We’re seriously trying to save a toad?” Holger asked.
/> Tristan shook his head, but couldn’t stop laughing. The whole idea was pretty funny when you stopped to think about it.
“Well, I don’t think he’s actually a toad. And when I stopped to understand it all last year, I came up with the conclusion that he’s got more tricks up his sleeve than all of the goddesses combined,” he said.
In front of us was a small golden sliver of light at the end of the hallway. It extended from a medium-sized square hole in the wall. “There. That’s the entrance to the prisons. We’re going to have to crawl. Anyone claustrophobic here?” I asked.
All three of us raised our hands. Holger reached into his pocket and pulled out a flask. He unscrewed the top of the flask while shaking uncontrollably. He took a sip and handed it to me. I did the same.
“It doesn’t matter. It’s time to face my fears, I guess.” Holger said.
“We’ll be fine,” I said. “It’s not too far from here. If Gorbins is not in there, we’ll have to head for the back exit.”
“What’s after the exit?” Tristan asked.
I just wanted another night with him. I didn’t want to have to tell him the truth. Beyond the exit was the graveyard. But I had no clue what was after the cemetery. In fact, the forests seemed endless on all of the maps.
“On the other side is the cemetery of the heroes,” I whispered.
“Well, that’s not terrifying,” Holger said.
“Can you give us a second, chief?” I asked. Holger walked a few feet away and drank more from his flask.
“The cemeteries?” Tristan asked. “How many times are they going to make me face death? Haven’t I suffered enough?”
“Alpha. Please be strong. I need to tell you something,” I said. When he calmed down, I continued. “I’m pregnant, Tristan.”
Tristan’s eyes widened. His smile took up his whole face. He took my hand and kissed each finger tenderly. “Oh, my Goddess. I’m sorry for freaking out. You’re right. I need to be strong for you, right now,” he said.
“That’s not all of the news,” I choked.
I didn’t want this to become a sap show. I had already kept too much from my mate, but I was scared. I didn’t want to take his courage from him. “What is it? Big bear, is everything okay?”
“Um. So. Years ago, I went to the OBGYN for my normal checkup. Everything was fine before those damn fires. I don’t even know how to tell you this, Tristan. I don’t want to put the extra stress on you, but I don’t know how I can face this alone,” I said.
He immediately pulled me in and hugged me. I felt so connected to him as if we’ve already been through a lifetime of experience together. He was the most understanding and incredible man I had ever met. I felt like I was about to let him down.
Tristan had an intense love for me. He was more emotional than a lot of alphas, which I adored. And he was always there for me. He ran his fingers through my soft hair and kissed above my eyelids. “You stop it. You can tell me anything. You want to know why?”
“Why?” I asked him.
“Because I fucking love you. I will always love you. And that means we can get through anything together,” he said.
“I just want to give you what you want,” I said.
“All I want is you. Do you understand me? You are all I need,” he whispered.
“The doctor told me that the stress was too much. That’s why I was alone in that cabin. He told me I couldn’t have a child. Growing up, I always thought about what it meant to be as an omega. It all came down to having children. Now, I’m pregnant, and I am terrified the child won’t survive,” I said.
I wanted to remain strong. That was my go-to emotion on the outside. I was the big, strong bear of the southern regions. I was the firefighter that could take on any setback. Sometimes, life felt harder than I wanted it to feel.
“We will take it one day at a time, big bear. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll try again,” he said.
“What if it never works out?” I asked.
Tristan pressed his forehead against mine. We gazed into each other’s eyes. I was so madly in love with this alpha. “My love doesn’t come with requirements, Ryan. I didn’t create a checklist when we first met. As long as we have each other, we can get through anything. I truly believe that. Now, let’s find Gorbins and start our life together,” he said.
Our lips crushed together with the passion of the outer realms on our side. I was scared that my body might betray me, but I knew I couldn’t dwell on that now.
I pulled back on his lower lip, playfully. I tasted his warm tongue and moaned. This is where I wanted to be.
“Kissing you always makes me feel better,” I said.
“You’re seriously the best kisser,” he groaned. “When we get out of this crap-hole, I’m going to kiss you for days on end. I want to feel you again, omega.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Holger tapping his heel against the stone. “Can we go yet?” he asked.
I sighed, knowing that he was right. I wanted to get the hell out of these shafts as fast as I could. I bent down, near the entrance, and crawled my way through the golden tunnel.
It was clear that the dwarfs didn’t make these shafts for huge bears like me. Tristan pressed on my butt, pushing me through the tight rocks. “Come on, big bear! You can fit. Just suck in your tummy a little.”
I laughed loudly. “Hey knock it off! I’m all muscle, baby.”
“Well, I fit just fine,” Holger said.
Holger was the shortest bear I had ever known. “Yeah, you’re like four feet tall. Are you sure you’re not a dwarf, yourself, Holger?”
I could hear the chief grumbling to himself. “I’m four foot, nine!”
“Right.” Tristan couldn’t help but scream with laughter. I think we were all a little relieved to get past our emotions. We were three loners who were put into a tough situation. It took some getting used to, but we were getting to a place of acceptance.
In front of us was the end of the tunnel. If I remembered correctly, the cells were right after this exit. With each push, I analyzed the language carved into the stone wall.
The dwarf culture always fascinated me. They were the oddest group in the ancient world, but they were more advanced than most. Keeping to themselves, they built every fortress in the northern continents. Eventually, the dragons wiped most of them out, along with the 12 alliances. The shifters slowly rebuilt the new world, and they’ve done their best to keep it safe ever since.
I crawled out of the exit and landed on my feet. All three of us stood before the dark prison, waiting to follow the first who dared to step forward. Tristan, my hero, did just that.
“Come on. We can’t be afraid,” he said.
To my surprise, Holger agreed with him right away. “True. We need to stand together.”
I followed close behind, but I quickly noticed the old bones scattered across the floor. “This place is a death trap,” I whispered.
Tristan quietly nodded. “Maybe. Be on the lookout for any traps.”
After a few steps, Holger shouted. “Stop!” He pointed at a loose brick near our feet. Above us was a large blade, fit to behead a whole team of intruders.
“Shit. Already?” Tristan snapped.
“The dwarves were a solitary people. They hardly left this place. If someone snuck in, they could have lost everything,” I said.
“Yeah. Well, it looks like they did lose everything in the end,” Holger added. “And thank the heavens they did. I miss my laptop. Shit, I even miss my crappy cassette tape player in my car.”
“I miss my bed,” I said.
Holger walked around the trap. “Guys. Look.” He pointed to a lone cell, where a small figure lay on the ground, breathing slowly.
“Gorbins!” Tristan called out. “Is that really you?”
The green body was skinnier than what I remember from my visions. He barely moved his head to catch a glimpse of us. Coughing, he forced a sentence out.
“What are you doing
here? You must leave now,” he whispered.
His voice was faint and dry. He looked like he was on the verge of death. I ran up to the cell and shook it violently. Tristan held me back. “The codex, big bear. That’s the key to opening this thing.”
“Don’t,” Gorbins whispered. “Please, just let me die.”
Tristan pulled out a small water bottle from the emergency bag. He poured some of the liquid into the cap and fed it into Gorbins’ mouth. Choking on the water, he opened his eyes more.
“We’re here to save you,” I said. “You were in my dreams. You led me here.”
“Dreams? What dreams do you speak of? I did no such thing, no,” he whispered.
The little guy was apparently delusional from a lack of food and water, as well as any contact with a living being. I pulled the bronze codex out and held the purple light to the metal lock. When it unlocked, Tristan carefully picked Gorbins up in his arms. His body was limp and much greyer than I remembered.
“What have they done to you?” Tristan asked.
“Nothing I haven’t done to myself,” Gorbins smiled. “There, there. It’s quite all right. All things must pass after all.”
I knelt down and handed him a piece of meat. He slowly snatched the morsel out of my hand with his tongue. “Snap out of it. You’re not going to die, little guy. We’re here now.”
“That’s right. The Brotherhood is here now,” Tristan said.
“The Brotherhood,” I whispered. Tristan took my hand and nodded.
I had read about it in the sacred texts before, but I never thought it existed in the modern world. Were we a part of the ancient brotherhood? Were we the ones who continually had to come together to save the omegaverse? It was a lot of pressure to take on.
“You weren’t supposed to come here. That wasn’t part of the plan,” Gorbins said.
“You don’t need to hide anything from me anymore, Gorbins. I know that you set all of this up to happen. I used to lie awake at night. I was so angry at you. But now I know the truth. You were always on our side,” Tristan said.