by Lee Rose
“Alicia?” he whispered. There was so much he wanted to say, but now was not the time. She was injured and vulnerable. She looked so fragile, all he wanted to do was scoop her up into his arms and hold her.
She turned her head to look at him. At first, her eyes lit up. Then she must have remembered, and her eyes went dim. He wanted to cry like a baby. She looked so delicate lying in this cold room. She had a blanket over her body. All the white in the room made her black hair stand out. He wanted to make so many promises he had never made before. It reminded him of when his mom had been sick and he’d begged God to let her live. She hadn’t, and he had been filled with so much bitterness and rage.
“Where is Noah? Is something wrong?” Her voice was scratchy and rough. She avoided looking him straight in the eyes, something she had never done since the moment they met. He had been his usual grumpy self, and she had blithely ignored him and went on being cheerful and chatty. It bothered him, but he deserved it.
“I just wanted to see if you are okay. Noah is in the waiting room with your brother,” he answered, getting closer to the bed. He hated seeing her so hurt. “Your parents need to rest. Alana took them home.”
“I will be fine, so the doctor says,” Alicia answered politely. “Are you here to question me about the car accident? I am having trouble remembering what exactly happened. I remembered the lights were too bright and the car hit us. That’s all.”
“No. I think Noah will talk to you later after you’ve rested,” he said, pulling the chair closer to her bed. “I was worried about you, Alicia. I have been waiting hours for the chance to see you. Matt, Holly, and I were here all night but we didn’t want to wake you. I had to see you for myself.”
“Why? You made it clear you don’t want my friendship. I got your message loud and clear,” she said bitterly. A lone tear escaped from her eye. She turned her head away from him.
“I know I shouldn’t be telling you this while you are hurt. I need you to know the truth, Alicia,” he said softly. “I thought I was holding you back from meeting Mr. Right. I thought I was too old, too rough to interest you. I messed up bigtime, but it all snowballed out of control so quick. I should have tried harder to explain.”
“You hurt me by flaunting your relationship with Dee in front of me, especially once you knew I had feelings for you,” she said angrily. Her eyes were shiny with unshed tears. “I enjoyed our times together, Tony. I looked forward to them. Why does it have to be about my age? Do I act immature? Who gave you the right to make decisions for me?”
“I didn’t have a relationship with Dee. We shared one kiss, that’s all. I swear,” he stated, knowing she was right. He felt like a little boy being chastised. With anyone else, there would be hell to pay. He stayed quiet. She deserved her chance to let her anger get out. He would take it without saying anything back.
“I am sorry for hurting your feelings. I didn’t intend that. I do like you, and I have missed you so much. I regret what I did.” He was sincere about that but she looked skeptical.
“Fine. You apologized. Please excuse me, but I am tired.” She closed her eyes, letting him know she was done talking. Tony sat with her in silence until he knew she was asleep. He got up and took one last look at her. He had his work cut out for him, but at least she was alive for him to have the chance. He would protect her at all costs. He went back out into the waiting room, trying to hide his weariness. Drake and Jasmine were there talking quietly to Noah and Ray. Alana had left with her parents.
“She is out again,” he told them. Jasmine got up and patted his arm. Her blue eyes were shimmering with tears. “I won’t leave her alone, Tony. I know you care about her, and so does she. She’s hurting. Just give her time.”
He nodded, unable to speak. He nodded good-bye to Drake and headed for his cold, lonely bed. He hated making mistakes, and he knew he made a huge mistake in ignoring Alicia. He should have stalked her until she listened to him. She was stubborn, but she was about to find her match in him.
Chapter Nine
Alicia waited for her brother to bring the wheelchair. She was tired of being in the hospital. It had been a few days, and although her body was sore, she felt well rested. The bruises on her face were slowly fading. Her shoulder had been dislocated but the doctor had set it. It was achy and sore. He advised her to keep it in a sling for a few more days.
She couldn’t wait to sleep in her bed with her own fluffy pillows. She was still getting headaches every time she tried to remember what happened to her. Noah explained how she had been missing for two days. It was a surreal idea. Why couldn’t she remember anything? She had been through something bad, but what? And poor Janice. Noah and Alana had broken the news that Janice was found dead. She felt such deep sorrow. Janice was so young. Alicia had been relieved that Kelly had not gone with them. She had a small son to raise.
She knew Noah had questions, and she felt guilty she couldn’t answer them.
So many people had visited her in the three days she was in the hospital. She was touched with all the flowers and balloons. Tony had been unique in his gift, and it touched her more than she wanted to admit. He knew how much she loved Faith’s raspberry scones and had Holly bring her a box of them. She was disappointed he didn’t come in person, but she would not admit that aloud to anyone. She had warned Jasmine and Holly both that she did not want to hear his name or Dee’s, and they had accepted her wishes.
“Ready, sis?” Ray smiled, wheeling a chair into the room. Her parents had brought her some loose sweatpants and a comfortable sweater to wear home.
Alicia smiled. Alana and Jasmine had already collected her flowers and balloons and taken them home for her. Jasmine had promised to spread them around her bedroom to cheer her up. “I am ready to blow this place. No offense, Allie.”
The dark-haired nurse who was walking beside Ray smiled. “None taken. This isn’t my idea of a vacation.”
Allie had been very nice to her in the last few days, always bringing her late-night snacks and chatting with her when Alicia couldn’t sleep. Holly had taken her lunch hour to sit with Alicia. She never mentioned Tony, and Alicia was glad. She was not ready to think of him yet. Alicia had not been alone, but she looked forward to resting in a familiar place.
Alicia carefully got off the bed and into the wheelchair. Her ribs felt so much better already. She could move without wincing in pain. “This is silly. I could have walked to Ray’s truck.”
“Hospital policy,” Allie apologized. She pushed the chair down the hallway. Alicia waved to the nurses she knew. It was a cloudy fall day and Halloween was three weeks away. Usually she was excited about the holiday, but right now all she felt was exhaustion and sorrow.
“I am going to pull up the truck to the front entrance,” Ray said when it started to drizzle lightly. Alicia liked the cool breeze hitting her face. It felt so nice to breathe in fresh air.
“Is there a welcome-home party planned?” Allie asked her.
“God, I hope not,” Alicia replied, looking horrified. She looked and felt awful. “Holly’s at work. My sister and my friend Jazz are helping my mom get my room ready. I just want to sleep.”
Allie laughed at Alicia’s grumpiness. “There is your brother’s truck.”
She pushed the chair further out into the parking lot. Allie looked up at the gray sky. “I am so tired of these gray days. I say we head to Florida and lie on a beach, soak up some sun and margaritas.”
“I’m game.” Alicia chuckled. Before she could say any more, she heard a weird sound. It sounded like a buzzing sound. It wasn’t until a piece of the concrete crumbled beside her that she realized it was someone shooting at them. “Oh my god, someone just shot at us.”
Allie screamed and tried walking backward with Alicia still in the wheelchair. A second shot whizzed by Alicia and she covered her head. She heard tires squealing and a door slamming. Ray was kneeling before her. “My god, was that a bullet?”
Alicia nodded and looked behind
her. “Are you okay, Allie?”
Allie had a hand over her heart. She was pale, but she nodded yes. Ray pushed Alicia back inside. Allie looked her over while Ray called Noah. Alicia was now happy about the wheelchair. She wasn’t sure her shaky legs would have held her up.
Before she knew it, the hospital entryway was filled with deputies. Noah looked furious as he paced up and down the floor. “Matt said he found the spot where the shooter was waiting. Matt and Tony are out trying to track him.”
Tony’s name sent an arrow through her heart. She had done nothing but think of him. When he told her he missed her friendship, she couldn’t deny she felt warm and giddy inside. It had been hard to act distant with him, but she had to. She felt weak and tired. She was afraid she would give in to him and be hurt again. She was tired of being the one to walk away wounded. She wanted Tony here with her. She wanted his arms around her, but she stayed quiet. She had to go on without him. It was better for her to stand alone and figure out who was trying to kill her. Alana had let it slip that they thought it might be Holly’s kidnapper, Mario Novak. Was she putting her family in danger? She had never met him, except for a brief glance last summer. There had been so much going on at that moment that she’d barely paid attention to the man who would kidnap Holly.
Drake kneeled in front of her and took her hand. He gave her an encouraging smile. He was like another brother to her. “Hanging in there, kiddo?”
Alicia smiled. She looked into his familiar brown eyes. She remembered running after him and Ray as a child. She had wanted to hang with the big boys, and Ray would get so angry and yell at her. Drake had always treated her with kindness, even back then. Alana had spent all her time mooning over Noah and trying to get him to notice her. “I’m all grown up now, Drake. Yes, I’m okay. I’m glad we weren’t hurt.”
He stood up and groaned. He arched his back. “Don’t remind me you are all grown up. It means I’m getting old.”
“Can I go home now? I’m exhausted. I just want my bed.”
Noah heard her and nodded. He gently caressed her hair. “Sure thing. Ray and I will take you home. Alana has your room all ready. Prepare to be spoiled, honey.”
* * * *
She was running and she felt out of breath. It was dark and cold and she had no idea where she was, but she knew she could not stop. Every time she looked behind her, she didn’t see anyone, but she knew someone was after her. Someone dangerous. Someone evil. Her body was in pain and she was holding her arm. She looked in front of her, hoping to see some sign of a road or house, some sign of help. A shadowy figure stopped her from continuing. He grabbed her arm and she screamed. The pain was overwhelming.
“Alicia, wake up.” She heard the deep, familiar voice as if from far away. “You’re just dreaming.”
She opened her eyes and saw her brother’s face hovering over her. She released the breath she was holding. Looking around, she realized she was safe in her own bedroom. “Oh god, Ray. Every time I think I am going to see my attacker, I wake up.”
Ray sat on the edge of her bed and hugged her. He was a strict older brother and they often argued about that, but she knew he loved her. She knew he would protect her. She was scared her family would get hurt and she couldn’t even remember why. “Your mind needs time. The doctor said not to force it.”
“I know. I just want to remember. I remember running through the dark, but that’s all,” she cried. Her mom had given her a glass of water earlier, and Alicia took a sip. Her throat hurt. She had lain here for hours trying to fall asleep. When she did, she had a nightmare. “Did I wake Mama and Papa up?”
“They’re fine,” he assured her. Their bedroom was downstairs and hers was upstairs. “I am more worried about you.”
Alicia laid her head on the pillow and assured her brother she was would be okay. When he got up and closed the door to her bedroom, she picked up the phone by her bed. She missed her cell phone. She had no idea where it was. Alana had canceled the services for her. She needed to hear Tony’s voice. She was still mad at him, but she hoped the sound of his voice would help her sleep. She dialed his number, her fingers dialing automatically.
They had spent so many nights chatting the hours away. She had never sat talking on the phone as a teenager like her sister Alana had. Alicia could never sit still that long. With Tony, it was different. She loved his deep voice and his small chuckle, as if he was afraid to just let go and laugh. She had yearned to change that, to make him smile and really laugh aloud. Maybe she should just hang up. What if Dee was with him? It would break her heart.
He answered right away. She wondered if he’d been awake all this time. He had told her before that he often had trouble sleeping. It was part of his PTSD. He had gone through counseling, but he still had trouble sleeping a whole night, he had confessed. She had wanted to offer to spend the night with him, but she had not been brave enough to say it aloud. Now she’d lost her chance. She wasn’t sure she would be able to forgive him.
“Hello?” His voice was hard and she knew he didn’t recognize the number.
“It’s me, Alicia. This is my parent’s phone I’m using,” she explained before he hung up on her. She didn’t even know why she called him.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” She loved the concern she heard in his voice, the way it softened as soon as he knew it was her. Maybe she was fooling herself, but it made her feel good inside. She wondered if he spoke to Dee that way, too.
“Yes. I had a bad dream and can’t fall back to sleep.” She snuggled under the covers, keeping her voice low. She didn’t need her overprotective brother asking who she was talking to. He had made it clear he did not like Tony.
“Want to talk about it?”
She sighed. She had missed his voice, his glossy green eyes that showed the emotions he thought he hid. It had left a hole in her heart and that was what hurt the most. “I’m always running and I always get caught, but I wake up before I see his face. I feel like there was more than one man involved.”
“Maybe your mind is protecting you. Let it come slowly. We’re sure it was Novak, and maybe he had one of his flunkies with him.” She could hear covers rustling and she wondered how he slept. In the nude? Boxers? Tighty-whities? The last one almost made her giggle. She wanted to ask, but she held it in.
“I’m sorry I woke you up.” She had been rather cold to him when he visited the hospital. He hadn’t come back. He’d sent his gift with Holly instead. She figured she’d run him off for good.
“I was just lying here,” he assured her. “My window is open and all I can here are crickets. They are a noisy bunch. I want to tell them to shut up. I’m not sure they will listen.”
She smiled, glad he was all alone. “It’s so quiet in this house. I am afraid to breathe too loudly. Ray is asleep in his old room down the hall. I forgot how loud he snores.”
“Want me to come and sit with you? I know your parents would not be happy with me in your house, but we could sit on the porch and complain about the crickets keeping us awake.” He sounded eager and she knew he really was sorry. He meant well, but he did hurt her. He hurt her more than John had. That cemented the fact she had not been in love with John as she had thought.
It had been pure lust, but she had labeled it love so she would not feel guilty. She had been raised in a strict environment. Sex was between married couples and that was that. Her parents were very old-fashioned. Alicia knew Ray slept around, and she was sure their parents knew, but he never got lectured like she and Alana had. It was a double standard and she hated it. If a man could sleep around, a woman should be able to also.
“That’s okay. It is late and cold. I just wanted someone to talk to. It gets lonely sometimes. Holly and Alana are old married ladies with husbands to take care of. Jasmine is busy with wedding details. Janice and Kelly were fun. They made me forget,” she said, feeling a little pity party coming on. She tried to hold back her tears. She hated crying. Her nose always turned red and her eyes wo
uld swell. It was not a pretty sight.
“I understand completely. Matt has always been my closest friend, but now he is always with Holly. That is how it should be, but I get lonely, too. I had you and I enjoyed it. I let doubt cloud my brain and I hurt you. That will always weigh heavy on my heart,” Tony murmured softly. “I was stupid, Alicia. I made the wrong decision in letting Dee hang all over me. I regretted it instantly. I swear I never slept with her. I told her that same night I was wrong in leading her on, and I told her I had no feelings for her. She showed up at the restaurant to cause trouble. If you forgive me, I will let you beat me at pool for a month.”
Alicia stifled her laugh with her hand. She ached to have him back in her life, but at the same time, she was weary of letting him back in. “You don’t have to let me. I have the skills to become a hustler.”
He laughed softly. The sound warmed her up inside and she yawned.
“I want to forgive you, Tony. I know I was so angry because I was jealous. Dee is very attractive. She dresses in all those short skirts and low-cut tops. She is skinny, too. I tried not eating as much but my hips are here to stay.”
“Stop that nonsense,” he stated firmly. “I don’t want to hear of any kind of weird dieting. I love your body, Alicia. It has given me some hot dreams all these months. I felt guilty because you are so much younger than me.”
She blushed and grinned at the same time. She was glad he couldn’t see her.
“I don’t like to hold grudges, but you hurt me. You were someone I could count on. Maybe it’s my fault for leaning on you too much. Age is just a number. What matters is how you act. I’m scared Novak will hurt my family, or Holly and Jazz. I’m scared to forgive you and have you hurt me again. My mind is just filled with chaos right now.” She was scared to depend on him again. She must be lacking something to make a man stay interested. John had used her for sex and moved on. Tony had been her friend, but he had chosen to mess with Dee instead of being honest.